Friday, July 27, 2007

Who said money can't buy happiness? Obviously not an Infertile

I have decided Not to take the clo.mid. I am at peace with this decision. I dunno why I am or how I really got there. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I do not think my RE did all he could do with the clo.mid and my cycles. Granted, I only did 1 under his care, but I do not feel that he wants to monitor me more closely on clo.mid. ( ie U/S’s, hc.g trigger shots) Maybe I am being na├»ve in thinking that those extra procedures would have worked. I am a lil uneasy about that. I am just going to have to trust that he knows more about reproductive procedures than I do in regards to my body’s responses. There is no going back and He may be completely right about it. I may just not be responding to the hateful drug and I need something more. It’s not uncommon. I just like to live in LA-LA land where there are fields of strawberries and rivers of chocolate. Meaning that I was “hopeful that a lil clomid would grant me a baby. I mean, I did do 4 previous rounds of clo.mid with absolutely no results. He did diagnosis my PCOS and prescribe metf.ormin. I have to say, my cycles have been some what consist since Feb. Even this time on clo.mid, I ovulated on CD17 and got my period 17dpo. That’s pretty “in the middle” I think. I do not want to keep taking cl.omid just to feel like I am “doing something” and it really not be effective for me. Like going through the motions .. .But I really wasn’t prepared for the injectible speech either. I really don’t know why, because he told me the same speech in February. But he also told me that I could do atleast 3 more rounds of Clom.id. So, basically, these last couple days I have been gathering information and calling for prices in the area. At this point, it’s all about the $$. I only have 1 other option in the area. So I called their office to get some prices and LORDY ME!!! At my current RE’s office (with less than stellar Nurse Bitchy and stats) I can do 2 IUI’s (including meds) for the cost of 1 (not including meds) at the other RE’s office (with better than stellar stats). Can I say OVERWHELMING?!?! ….. I want the best for me – ALWAYS- but my bank account says that I can’t. See the dilemma? It’s a feeling of having to settle. I hate that feeling. I do not think that my original RE is incompetent. I have confidence that he can perform a simple IUI procedure, but keeping nasty uninformed nurses on staff seems like bad business practice. Although, I’m not his office advisor, I am just there for a procedure, and at this point, I do not think he could really miss it up royally. Personality conflicts, to me, seem tedious. Does it really matter that my experience hasn’t been complete enjoyment? I mean we are talking about emotions, lost dreams, a big dose of reality, and a shit-ton of money/time/energy. This could be the last step of “operation knocked up” or this could be the very beginning of more treatments to come. We have pretty much decided to stick it out with current RE because he is more affordable. Give him a chance 2 times. *** WARNING/DISCLAIMER ( I could regret this in 3 or 4 months and I have the right to digress at that time – there will be no I told you so’s!!!)

9 comments:

The Oneliner (Christina) said...

Personally, i think the infertile life is hard enough w/out cranky, uncaring comments from RE staff.

I made the samce basic choice, and i'm glad i did.

The staff is really who treats you, handles his swimmers, tests your blood, and if they don't care about you or your getting pregnant to your face...then what must they behave like behind your back?

and it SUCKS that we have to even think about $$$ along with everything else.

*sigh*

Courtney said...

Those type of decisions are the hardest and the most unfair. I am sorry that you are having to make the difficult choice between good care and finances.

Have you thought about approaching the doctor (either in person or anonymously) about the customer service factor and presentation of his staff? His reaction to what you have to say, might make your decision slightly easier.

Shelby said...

I hate it when everything is all about the bottom line. Why does $$ have to be so important?? Bah!

Artblog said...

Not from me there, dont worry :) good luck

SaraS-P said...

I totally understand about the $$$, and not completely trusting your doc's advice.

And you won't get any "I told you so," from me.

Diana said...

Never an I told you so from me!!! Just a keep going girl, you can do it!

JKH said...

I'm sorry you're having to decide between good care and what's affordable. It's so sad and so not fair. Thinking of you...

Leah said...

Nope, I'll never say "I told you so" don't worry.

Sorry that you spent so much brain power sorting through all of the options and financial calculations, but I'm glad that you've come to a decision and are moving forward. Will have my fingers crossed!

Kami said...

I can understand how moving on to injectibles can sound ok when it is "in theory" and "if these cycles don't work", but become so much more scary when it is you next best option.

I hope this is closer to your last step on the medical intervention journey that just the beginning. Good luck!