Monday, December 31, 2007
I will be 1 day shy of 14 weeks on New Years Day. "Because you have begun the second trimester and most of the critical development has been completed, the chance of miscarriage decreases." - This statement is music to my ears!!! Here is a website I am just in love with. It explains quickening also, which should begin in the 14th week. I am pretty sure that I have experienced this 1 or 2 times already.
I am hoping, wishing and praying that 2008 brings many, Many, MANY more BFP for everyone waiting. Blessings to you all.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
After Scan/Blood Test = 1:10,441
Risk for Trisomy 18 & 13 (based on age) = 1:917
after Scan/Blood Test = 1:18,329
AH Sweet Victory!!!!
Today was the start of 1/2 pre.dnis.one and my last pro.ges.tero.ne (which i was taking for mere comfort) and my last me.tfo.rm.in until my OB tests my sugars. I should have those tested in a few weeks. My next appointment is jan 11th and the OB midwife is asking if they want my sugars tested before that appointment. If not i will wait and do the blood test for sp.ina bi.fida and my sugars around 15 weeks. I am really starting to feel my excitement brewing.
Question - food for thought - We rent from a self owned condo, am I supposed to inform my landlard that we are currently "the p word"?
Thanks for the great/wonderful ego boosting comments in the "fam picture". Being a bigger girl - you always seem to have some sort of insecurities ya know ... And to answer Barb's question: YES OMG i so want this baby to have my husband's red hair. Isn't it SO beautiful ?!?!?!!! How could you not ..
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
But I am worried about my TV shows and my d.v.r:
I saw that some new show was coming in January after Desperate Housewives and I Panicked! Br.other.s and Si.ster is supposed to. It one of my more adult, favorite shows and I could not bare the thought of it not coming back. After much research, It seems the show is doing so well, they are moving nights. Monday nights. So everyone watching make sure your tivo/dvr is set for Jan 7th instead.
Anyone seen this movie? It is an independent film and also an exclusive through It.unes. I have never ordered anything off It.unes. I may now because I really want to see this movie.
ALSO – I am so pissed that I missed the finale of Cl.ash of the Ch.oi.rs and it can not be seen on the n.bc webpage. It was THEIR fault for labeling it the wrong thing .. not my ti.v.o’s!!! I missed the most beautiful man win!! (yes I said it.. I am crushin on mr la.che.y)
As for the cor.nish hens, my husband said they turned out "perfect"..He used the p word ..wow, he must have been hungry ;)
E got me a great gift for Christmas, I got this. Made me so happy. I also got one of those digital picture frame and a digital picture key chain. Hey you think people figured out I like taking pictures or what?!?! I can't wait to give E's lil brothers their gift. We won't see them until the 4th but I am so excited to see their faces. It's a video game that involves using a gu.itar as a controller ;) What was your favorite gift to get and what what was your favorite gift to give?
Monday, December 24, 2007
In Mini Vann news front, I will be 13 weeks (91 days) tomorrow. I have to say, I am a big(ger) girl and I didn't think I would "pop" per say. Well, this weekend, I had to leave the jeans that I have been wearing all unbuttoned and completely rely on the be.ll.a band to hold them up (which it does just fine btw). I weighed myself again this morning, and I still have not gained any weight since thanksgiving. SO HAPPY about this. Just there is a lil extra bulge ( just not expected from me because I am a bigger girl) Tomorrow I will be 30% into my pregnancy with 70% left .
I will be cooking cornish hens, stuffing and veggies before I send E off to work Christmas Night! Wishing your and yours a Very Merry Christmas.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
I have 4 days left of m.etfo.rmi.n and pr.ome.tri.um. (long sigh) I still do not mind giving up the progesterone. I am slightly more uncomfortable giving up the Met.
As for the pr.edn.iso.ne, I am going to be weaned off this. I am taking 1 tablet for the next 5 days (til 12/25). Then I am taking 1/2 tablet for 5 days (til 12/30). Then 1/2 tablet every other day for 5 days(til 01/04).
After this I will just be doing lovenox (until 30 weeks) and a baby aspirin. (unless the MFM dr says differently). I will be visiting a MFM Dr. in January. My next appointment with my OB is Jan 11th. and after that appointment, they will make an appointment to see the MFM(Perinatologist).
Our family is having our Christmas Saturday night in St. Si.mo.ns, G.A. I have alot of laundry, packing, shopping and wrapping to do before we leave tomorrow. AND i need to come into work for a few hours ( hopefully 8 - so i don't have to use leave). Everyone have a very blessed and safe merry christmas.
My friend, Trying2007, got 2 lines today (after a long and tiring journey of 4 IVF's). She has a beta tomorrow. Go and send her off with lots of positive vibes!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
26% of your pregnancy has passed, there is 74% left to go
“Your belly is finally starting to expand and grow. This week your uterus will finally rise above your pubic bone and pelvis. This will definitely create a small pooch in your lower abdomen.”
Fetus Size relating to fruit
I read somewhere about a pregnancy mask. I am not having this but I am having alil bit of a grease problem ... GREASY face and hair... and oh and the headaches..wow the headaches are more intense than the earlier headaches. My belly is twinging and stretching and sometimes feels like a charlie horse at night.
2 nights ago, i slept too long inbetween peeing and i woke up and thought I was going to pee all over myself and my belly was so tight and had alot of soreness. I hope I wake up to pee tonight and for the rest of the nights. That was weird and quite bothersome.
After my dr’s appointment on Friday, I have been feeling a lot more confident about this pregnancy. I am still losing weight, which I am very happy about. I am starting to get a little nervous about getting off my medication though. Anyone have to take pre.dni.sone, when did you stop? Metformin, when did you stop? Why do I HAVE to stop the met? I read a few articles that state woman with P.C.O.S have a hard time with breast milk supply. Any truth/opinions to this? These articles stated that if you needed Me.tfo.rm.in to conceive, you most likely will need m.etfor.mi.n to breastfeed. I am not at all under the opinion that me.tfo.rm.in is what made me conceive, but I am sure under the assumption it was a contributing factor. I am also not sure I even want to breatfeed, but I like options .... Who doesn't?!
As for another 12 - It has been 12 years since I had heart surgery today. (ASD repair) It just happened to fall on my 12 week milestone. Pretty Cool huh.
7 Days til Christmas.. Boy, Do I have alot to do. I need to get wrapping gifts and packing for a weekend trip to here to have christmas with my sister and parents.
I posted this late last night but I am posting it again - PLEASE PLEASE give Kathy some Support. She and I are close due date buddies. She just had a great NT Scan on Wednesday and all things were Fantastic at 12 weeks. Monday started bleeding red. Now things are not sounding very hopeful.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
1 - I am a tv show watcher. Most likely, If you think the show is awful, I watch it. D.irt, The H.il.ls, N.ip/Tu.ck, Gos.sip Gi.rl, Di.rty S.exy Mo.ney, We.eds, Ver.on.ica M.ars, O.ne Tr.e Hil.l Seasons 1 -3, Bi.g L.ove ..etc. I have seen just about every reality tv show - I dunno why, I am drawn to drama and catty-ness. (aka Ke.eping u.p with the Ka.rdas.heins, LA Ink) Throw in a NYC or California Glam show in the mix and I all about it. I did watch the B.rett Mic.haels Ro.ck of L.ove. WOW was that ever entertaining. One of the more entertaining shows also is Ta.lk So.up.. I highly suggest this show if you like to make fun of reality TV and some celebs. However Gi.lm.ore G.irls is my favorite tv show ever. I own the box sets and they have been played numerous times. ( now that I have scared many people.. let's continue)
2- I recently found a love for reading. ANYTHING. I never was into reading as a child. I loved a book or two read to me but that was only at bedtime so I could stay up longer. As I got older it never "fit in my schedule" or was "boring". Getting involved in the Barren Book Club has really opened my eyes and broadened my horizons. (and I love getting suggestions from other bloggers that have been reading for a long time because you guys have the best book ideas)
3- SOCKS - I love funky, wild, non matching socks. And I will wear 2 different sock, just because. It makes me smile when I look down.
4- If we do get to be re-incarnated, I would like to be a dolphin.
5- I long to move to a colder state - I have tried and tried to suggest NC (or GA) for a few yrs now. One day, I will win out
I know i am supposed to do more .. but I can't think anything else interesting. I am just a boring open person that will share WAY TMI most of the time ;) So if you want to know something, just ask! Oh and btw the way, I met a blogger today. She is REAL and I love her. Courtney is so inviting and warm. I felt as if i had known her forever! Pure, genuine soul! Now I have to come visit you in passing throughs (and our husbands graciously suffered through lunch with us) Have a safe flight Home Girl. Can't wait to see those Cruise pics.
Friday, December 14, 2007
after the next week. She will then do a sugar test after I have been off Met for a week.
I feel VERY confident that everything is fine. The baby DID NOT want an ultrasound today. The baby was moving and jumping and swinging its arms and kicking to get away from the poking and prodding... the tech and i were both nudging the baby to try and get the baby to move. She was trying to see if we could see the sex but no cooperation from the lil thing.
Eric swears it's a girl .. because it was all feisty and stubborn. The baby did not like us poking trying to get s/he to move. It was fun to poke the stomach and watch the baby kick or punch back. .. The tech said she "thought" she saw boy parts at one time but then she says she looked again and couldn't see anything .. she tried and tried to find "boy parts" but could never get them to show up . We tried with me rolled on my side and all but O'well ... more waiting Here is a new pic (it's not that great because baby was very active today)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
I am in the middle of reading this book.
Right now, I totally recommend this book to/for any woman. I have found myself nodding in agreement over her thoughts, feelings and emotions even though she has not suffered infertility related topics, she has suffered. And she is insightful as all get out. The word phrases she uses, just comfort me. Here are some examples that have just really set my brain in overdrive these past couple of days. (I do not want to ruin the story line so I will not go into depth – but I really wanted to share some of the more eloquent analogies she uses in her book): (my thoughts are in italics)
“(Loneliness) is going to make me sleep with him again tonight, I just know it.”
I can not tell you how that one line in this book broke a dam in my soul and made me weep and weep. I have felt this type of victimization and vulnerability to Loneliness before in my life. I have been violated by loneliness many, many times and I would have never illustrated it in this manner (because I am just not that creative) but WOW, what a powerful statement. This spoke volumes to me on many different levels and crisis’s in my life.
(running to catch an elevator- catching a glimpse of herself in the mirrored reflection )“In that moment my brain did an odd thing- it fired off this split second message: Hey! I know her! That’s a friend of yours!- And I actually ran forward towards my own reflection with a smile ready to welcome that girl whose name I had lost but whose face was so familiar”
I think about this the most. Parts of me in the journey to conceive have been robbed. But there are some parts that I am grateful for. I have learned a great deal about adversity, compassion, and acceptance. I have met great friends. I have sacrificed myself may times over. I am found ways to pick myself up when I thought I had nothing left in me. But there are brief moments, when I see the old me and I do embrace her as a familiar face.
(the author talking about American Philosophy and how we are semi-programmed to think) “Do we deserve pleasure? … “How is pleasure most efficiently maximized?”
Her point is that we have insecurities about whether or not we have earned our happiness. Like there is a sliding scale of judgment. We base it off things and values and past experiences, our ancestors, company we keep. We have what she calls “recreational binges”. We go all out and splurge only to follow up that with a period of guilt and remorse.
“When I get lonely these days, I think, So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it for once in your life, but never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unified yearnings.”
I still cannot completely say that I have wrapped my head around this statement. HOLY COW have I subjected far too many people to my scratching post. I am having a hard time dealing with that statement alone. But I want to conquer this. It will lead me to explore better places in my mind and heart.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
24% of your pregnancy has passed, there is 76% left to go.
I really am just in awe. I am starting to get really uncomfortable in my clothes, although I have lost 3 more lbs. As my friend says "the furniture is moving around" and I feel it. I have lost a total of 15 lbs since I got a BFP, I think the Dr will be happy with me. ( as someone who knows that I am overweight). That makes a total weight loss of 62 lbs since February. Praise be to Me.tfor.mi.n (and maybe a lil more discipline/determination). Not that I have ever been 11 weeks pregnant before, but it seems that I am carrying this baby pretty high - about 2-3 inches above my belly button. That is where the hardness is. Although my lower abdomen got really heavy about a week ago. (i assume the placenta ?)
From what 2 expect dot com i received this: "Your lower abdomen is probably just starting to protrude a bit now (though you likely still look less like you're pregnant and more like you've been overdoing the doughnuts). But even if it's still flat as a board (all women start to show at different times — and as you'll find out, all show differently), you're probably finding your jeans aren't buttoning without a struggle. You can blame the hormone progesterone for that tight squeeze (actually, when you're pregnant you can blame the hormone progesterone for just about everything). Though progesterone does a bang-up job in maintaining your healthy pregnancy, some of the less than flattering by-products of all the good it does are bloating… and burping… and passing gas. That's because progesterone relaxes smooth muscle tissue in your body — including the gastrointestinal tract — slowing down digestion to allow more time for the nutrients from food to be absorbed into the bloodstream and passed to your baby. But what's good for baby isn't always good for mom. The uncomfortable fullness you feel in your abdomen, especially after eating, will (sorry) only get worse for some women. As your uterus grows, it'll crowd the stomach and intestines, putting more pressure on the digestive tract, and causing you to feel even more bloated. But here's some consolation: your baby won't feel your pain. In fact, your baby is oblivious to all your intestinal distress, and may even be soothed by the gurgling of your gastric symphony."
Before I received this, I was blaming my pre-natals, now I am reconsidering the blame. So if anyone of you are experiencing this on Progesterone supplements - blame them evil thangs
I have my NT scan Friday, and I can not wait for another opportunity to see my baby and hear the heart beat. I would be completely lying if I said I was cool as a cucumber. I am not a nervous wreck, but I am pretty anxious. I seem to get that way before each scan/appointment. I am still on progesterone and I am going to ask if I still need it. I do not mind taking anything that they think is necessary, but I am definitely paying for a good few college years in all of these continued meds. My insurance will only give me 12 shots of love.nox at a time... PITA... It's $30 every 12 days - just kinda of feels like a scam. So i am making the pharmacy and insurance pretty deep pockets If I have to keep this up to week 30...
The latest development is my sweet tooth. I just do not know how to deal with this. I did the Can.di.da Di.et for so long, then I stopped that but with P.CO.S and my insulin resistance, I was extremely cautious about what I ate. Up until recently the smell of sugar made me want to vomit, now I want Cupcakes, cookies, sugary drinks etc. And I just can not bring myself to indulge. I feel way too guilty. Do not get me wrong, I have one (or 2) a few days a week. But I am trying to explain to my body that this is NOT an ok craving.
I wish I could mail all of you cupcakes, because they were so doggone good.
If you cold, wish me and mini va.nn well for our appointment Friday the 14th. (it is also my grandmother's 79th birthday)
On a side note: My friend Sara is a new blogger but just received a BFN from her first IUI. Stop by and lend her a hand if you have the time.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Here are my very own peppe.rm.nt Cu.p.ca.kes:
I used a spruced up cake mix recipe and sprinkled smooshed up And.es Chri.stma.s M.nts and Starlight M.nts.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
A few days ago, my husband and I were sitting and talking. He said that he just remembered something that his Mother said when he was explaining to her. They were discussing the almighty di.ldo.ca.m. AKA Tra.nsvagi.nal Ult.rasou.nd. She has never heard of one (she is a nurse might I add- and a mother of 8* don't get me started*)..... She asked my husband if I got "excited" from those?!??!?!?!?! My husband was speechless he quickly changed the subject and was quite in shock. YES only my MIL can ask such sick sick questions... REALLLY
Also, my husband is overjoyed, there was some adult fun last night after 11 weeks, the poor guy is a trooper. There of course was not THE adult fun he would have liked ... but you do what you can do.. ya'know. I am surprised at myself by how much this was ok in my head, because I seem to worry about everything compromising this pregnancy.
As for the X, Y Sperm - there have been numerous comments about it. The people that I asked about it in our DNA section basically state that it is partly true, the explanation is a little off - but I won't bore you any further.
If anyone is looking for a good blog to read that is still struggling with cycling and treatments, Check out Lady in Waiting @ Purgatory. Her bloglist started filling up with BFP bloggers and needs support from those still in her shoes. As she states "there is strength in numbers".
I updated my blog list last night. If you aren't on it, I missed you, leave me a comment and I will fix it. If your link doesn't work or I have you in the wrong category, Let me know. I get more brain dead as the days go by. I am coming down with a cold/sore throat thingy and it tends to make me work overtime with breathing and thinking.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
A few days ago, a friend called and asked me to meet her for lunch at A.pple.Bee’s today for lunch (and ever since, I had been dreaming about their chi.cken faj.ita roll-u.p) So I met her up there to find that she called a few other really close friends ( that knew about my IUI's), balloons, cupcakes and presents for me. I had a “YEAH you’re Pregnant” Party!!! I was so shocked and honored; it’s nice to be loved. You Guys ROCK! You know how to make a girl feel special! Thank you!
If you are a science junkie, Like me, check out this webiste
Stolen from this website:
"Studies indicate that the sperm with the X chromosome - or female chromosome - have a longer life span than the male sperm (with the Y chromosome).Yet the male sperm appear to have a higher motility. Sperm motility is measured in two ways: percentage of sperm exhibiting movement, and the quality of this movement, which is called the forward progression. Poor motility means the sperm have a difficult time swimming toward the egg.It is said that the sperm carrying the Y chromosome uses energy faster than the sperm carrying the X chromosome. The energy utilization is said to be due to the speed in which sperm swim. Supposedly, the Y sperm is speedy or contains less mitochondria whereas the X sperm is slower or carries more mitochondria. Mitochondria are the energy producing cellular components which are absolutely necessary for life. Sperm contain, and can only produce, so much fuel for their journey. If one sperm type swims faster than another, the consequence of that, of course, is faster arrival - but also faster expiration. That said, if a woman knows her cycle and when she ovulates, the odds of baby gender prediction can be in one's favor. Sperm can reach the fallopian tubes in about 20 minutes to 2 hours. Sperm are viable for about 4-7 days inside the woman."
Anyone know if that is remotely have any truth to it? I'm heading upstairs to our DNA Section and asking if this is true. I want to know just because I am a science junkie.
Calling all self cleaning cat box owners:
Anyone have a self cleaning litterbox.. My husband insists that we get one.. if so, could you leave opinions on the ones you like.
You conceived on Tuesday October 9th 2007
and your due date is Tuesday July 1st 2008.
56 days have passed since the conception,
and you are 210 days before your due date.
You are 10 weeks into your pregnancy,
and you have 30 weeks to go.
You are in the 1st trimester.
21% of your pregnancy has passed, there is 79% left to go."
I made it to 10 weeks today. 10 WEEKS .............OMahGOSH!! I have graduated from growing an embryo to growing a fetus. Check out this website.
My morning/all day sickness has slowed down and this past few days. I just woke up yesterday and today just feeling queasy. That is an improvement that is well accepted. I have noticed that when I lay down, my belly does not flatten out, like it used to, you can feel a hard spot about 2 inches above my belly button. My breastes’s are HUGE and still growing. I noticed in the bathroom mirror before a shower yesterday that there are bright blue veins running all through my chest/abdomen region… That’s new. They also tingle now. That’s a lot of whoa what is THAT feeling. They are heavier and tingling … very strange. Brushing my teeth is a new experience, other than the toothpaste making me gag; my gums are very inflamed and bleedy. I bought a new toothbrush with soft bristles, I am hoping this helps. Last week, I noticed my mood shifting negatively. Everything on the planet irritated me. I had a long talk with myself and hopefully that will not happen again. I am trying to drink more water. I drink about 6-7 bottles of water now (and a few small other drinks), but I have to tell you, Water makes me want to vomit. I can not drink water first thing in the morning STILL. I don’t know what it is about Water, but it really turns me off in the AM’s. I am feeling a bit of weird twingy/pressure on my left side mostly. I am told its ligament pain and it’s quite normal.
I make small goals for myself. Right now, goal is to make it til Dec14th. That is when we do the nuchal fold test and I get another U/S. I will be almost 12 weeks then.
I have grown quite found of Mini Vann and really beg him/her to stick around and be very healthy. I find myself talking to the fetus and referring to s/he as a baby more (in my head mostly). I explain that we really feel blessed and just want to do the best for him/her and that we really just want to make it another 7 months and we will do whatever it takes to do our best.
I am kind of shocked that so many people know. I find myself at a loss when people that do not really know what it took for me to achieve this pregnancy thus far want to “talk” about the pregnancy. I find that I am not really comfortable with that at all. I thought I would be. I am glad that people know. I ask for prayers if they know. That is the benefit (in my head) of so many people knowing... more prayers for Us. (Selfish maybe). Part of me wishes that I could have held out on telling some times. Pros/Cons, water under the bridge, but I am truly honored to still be 10 weeks pregnant and enjoying every second of it. I know that being pregnant is not an instant mind eraser, but I thought that it would help start erasing some of the bitterness, treatment discussions, failed cycles, past attempts, miscarriages, feeling of emptiness and etc. Yet I find myself some days having new crosses to bear. It makes me very uncomfortable for people to mention that I am pregnant, or ask how I am feeling, or comments in general. And at work, I just can’t handle the talk about do I want a boy or girl. I have become speechless a few times.
I find myself changing the topics …. Boy are girl, whatever I do not care. Funny how most people do not believe me when I say I really do not care. I really do not. I finally came up with an “I just want a very healthy, happy, live baby in X amount of weeks”. You should see their faces. Yes it would be easier to say. We are hoping for
Monday, December 3, 2007
You scored 75% intoxication, 50% hotness, 50% complexity, and 50% craziness!
You are Cardamom! Not many people know you. You're kind of sweet, subtle, and maybe even shy. You're definitely understated and totally underrated. But once people get to know you, they can't get enough. You touch some esoteric, ancient place deep inside people and they love you for it.
|Link: The Which Spice Are You Test written by jodiesattva on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test|
what are you?
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Thank you for the many food suggestions. I have made a list of them and I am going to the grocery store later to stock up. I am having a hard time mostly preparing the food .. then eating it. I need to make larger quantities for that .. cook less have more prepared items. It's good to see what everyone is eating. They say variety is the spice of life... keep the food ideas coming.
I was tagged by Katie .. ...
Four jobs I have held in life:
- I worked at a college bookstore on campus
- Wrote Curriculum for the State Law Enforcement Training Program
- Forensic Technologist in the Latent/Crime Scene Dept. for the State
Four movies I have watched more than once:
- Return to Me
- 10 Things I Hate About You
- Short Circuit
Four places I have vacationed
- Washington DC
Four of my favorite foods:
(pre-pregnancy- ANY FOOD)
- My fathers Steaks - He just marinates and cooks them like no one else can
- Shrimp, Lobster, Scallops
- Butter Beans and Okra
Four places I would rather be:
- North Carolina
- Anywhere in the Ocean with people that wait on you
- In Bed
- In a clean house that has a maid
Four hobbies I engage in regularly:
- Watching TV
- Surfing the net
I tag you ...