Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Hello, My name is

I have been trying to find time to update my lil space on the net. My husband and I were brainstorming new title for my blog and I kept coming back to Awkward Moments.

So I figured I would take a few minutes and explain why I am trying Awkward Moments out for a while:
  • We do not have a 9-5 lifestyle.
  • There are plenty of weird feelings to deal with after becoming a mom/parent after yrs of treatments and wanting child(ren)
  • Life with and w/o Child(ren) can definitely provide you with many awkward moment And I seem to find many of them along our daily exchanges ..Potty training (nuff said)
  • MT (3 in June) and The Armadillo (Army - 16 months)
  • Our la.ndlords are the dream team of Awkward Moments
  • A mother Dx w/ B.i-Po.lar Disor.der when you are 31 makes for numerous awkward family moments
  • A MIL w 6 ex's, a boyfriend 4 yrs older than her oldest son, 10 children, and 19+ animals living under 1 roof
  • A FIL and Step mom that are far away, call seldom and ignore all our efforts to get them to visit us
I am sure I could go on and on, And I am sure I will go on and on as I get the swing of this bloggin' thing again.

To assure you that I can keep up w/ the Awkward Moments - MT (my oldest who will be 3 in June) Keeps telling everyone that "Mommie Hit the Mailman" A few weeks ago, a mailman pulled out in front of me and I had to slam on breaks and MT's sippy cup landed in the floor. We were on our way to a playdate and as soon as we got there he announced it to everyone. And keeps repeating it to everyone. I have to constantly explain this story.

To catch everyone up that wants to be brought up to speed:

I had a baby through Fertility treatments, then when he was 7 months, I got pregnant with Army but did not know it until I was already 8 weeks preg. The past 16 months I have been dealing w/ quitting my career, full time pregnant mom to full time stay home mom of 2, and adjusting to my husband working 12 hr midnight shifts

Needless to say, I had to take a break from blogging. We were going through so many adjustments. I am still learning to manage a house, family and fun on 1 very minimal budget. (and usually only 1 present parent) I have somewhat figured out how to eat healthy and use coupons. I save 60% of our weekly grocery bill w coupons/deals. Most of my free time is watching tv shows, printing/organizing our coupons for the next week, folding laundry, and picking up toys. I try to add reading in there if there is a good book that can keep my attention.

Ok so now your turn, What have I missed the past 16 months? or what would you like to know about me(my family) or want me to blog about?

Sunday, March 13, 2011


So I have always heard of terrible twos and have had our share of those tantrums and whatnot that comes with the 2's package. It was Meltdown central about 19 mons -26 mons. Then it seemed we finally got a grasp of how to work through our issues before meltdown occurred. Then again around 30 months (2.5yrs) We were back at it. Meltdowns over the simplest things, hurt feelings... etc, You name it. Tears, Tears, Tears and more Tears. Stomping, squealing, flailing, head spinning tantrums.

Some days I feel like "use your words", "please do not push/steal toys/be mean to G", or "Honestly, A, What were/are you thinking" are the only things I say. AND unfortunately for me, It seems to be getting worse. Much MUCH worse.

Let's clarify - I was able at some point, in a decent amount of time, to get A to stop tantruming and focus his energy in a more positive aspect w/o an extreme amount of effort (mostly).But NOW
The behavior is worse and harder to stop in a timely manner w/ appropriate punishment. He is getting smarter. This makes it all the more challenging. He gets in these wacky funks where He becomes a big wrecking ball of fury and nothing is going to stop his demolition. He cares very little about consequences. And that is the biggest change from 2 to 3 - He does not seem to care at all about any consequence. He will do something he knows is not acceptable, look at me and say "OK , Time out" or "I made Bad decision" and STARE ME DOWN ..... and I am supposed to remain calm?!?! ..

That is my challenge. I am a yeller, I will not lie. I do not like that I yell But I do. It is instinctual, and I need to work harder at learning to stop and take time to work through these new advanced tantrums. Yelling only makes matters worse. I need to protray that ommunication is key. I am in desperate need for A to "use his words" instead of hitting, squealing, screaming and causincg a scene. And I need myself to be able to find a way to Stay calm.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011


I am not sure if any one subscribes to this or not but I have been needing to dump/compile/share my thoughts on Regression for those going through it or worry about going through it.

Here we go - Hang on:

When I was pregnant w #2 (the armadillo who is now known as G man), which seems like eons ago but was only ~15 months ago, EVERYONE warned me about regression when you bring home a new baby. I was warned that A was going to regress sooo sooo soo much when a new baby was in our house. News flash, That actually Did not happen. Thankfully A was too young to read the memo everyone was sending.

Do not get me wrong, He was NOT a complete angel All the time. But he really wasn't as bothered by him as I was told he could be. We were smooth sailing and He was not "jealous", or attempting much attention seeking behavior, tantrums, etc. We actually had a pretty good handle on life for the first year of having 2 under 2. The first yr did have its challenges, for sure, But not completely the challenges I was expecting.

A turned 2.5 and G man turned 1... This is where my handle on life broke. Most blamed Regression based on jealousy w G man. But I will beg to differ - Thus needing a blog.

Yes G became more independent and A became more aware, sneaky and needy. There was/still is Lots of fighting, competing, lashing out, crazy tantrums, screaming, etc some days. BUT I think it was more of a milestone vs Regression based on jealousy. Kids A's age that do not have a sibling at home seem to go through most of these same behaviors, attitudes and actions when talking to other parents that have one child around A's age. I do understand that not all children are the same. And I am not debating that at all. BUT it was nice to hear/see that my child was not the only one doing a certain behavior/reaction to their mother, brother, or life. I was also pleased to see/hear that this was not directed or created by G man's presence. Which makes my heart happy to hear because there is enough guilt in this mom business I did not need to hear that by giving him a brother, I was creating a green eyed monster full of fire.

What I am trying to say is that Regression happens. But I think it is just a development thing and not based on sibling status, like most like to excuse it as. Yes Jealousy happens but I do not think it is stemmed from regression. I think that a lot of people add to their families in this 2 - 3 yr window and thus the norm is to point to the obvious "new baby" excuse. If you haven't ever experienced a 2.5 yr old tantrum, let me assure you that you WILL SEARCH for an excuse for a while because NO one wants to just accept that their cute as a button toddler flipped a switch to the dark side in the name of a Milestone or a Departmental process. Because Good Gawd, It can get ugly and irrational up in those tantrums . Thus the neeed to identify a problem.. IF you can pinpoint a problem, You feel like you can come up w/a solution or control the situation better. Right?, Right?, Right? I mean Nothing is as humbling and embarrassing as YOUR 2/3 yr old totally losing their ever-loving mind in public and tarnishing your mother of the year image. It MUST be the new baby ... He/She just got a sibling ..... It certainly cannot be Just because s/he wants their way or irrationality.

It's all part of learning how to express emotions. A 2 yr old is like a roller coaster of emotions. That is the hardest challenge for me... Staying calm enough to explain to either one that it is Ok to feel the emotion they feel but it is not acceptable to act in tantrum/freak out mode when they feel this emotion. We do not allow excuses for tantrums... Just because we do not allow them does not mean they do not happen. I just do not want them to think that there is an acceptable excuse to act out in this way. It is just not acceptable behavior ...

Yes, Some days does A want to be 1 and G want to be 2, yes Quite often in fact. Jealous, Yes .. But I do not think that jealousy is to blame for the regression or an acceptable reaction display your emotion. From my perspective, It is about milestones and developmental areas. And it Sucks gong through. But I am holding firm to perseverance pays off .