Monday, December 7, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I went through dinner, bath, bedtime last night being very weepy. Knowing that Today, MT would no longer be my one and only. As I left him at my parents house sleeping, I began to have such a rough time backing my car out of their driveway. Knowing that I was about to change his world forever and he had very little idea. He will wake up in the morning, the grandparents will tend to him ... And I will already be at the Hospital preparing for his little brothers' arrival.
They try to assure/comfort me with words. "He will be the greatest big brother", "Greatest Gift for a Child" Right now, All I can think about is how blessed we are, but how sad I am to be away from MT for Thanksgiving. It will be a few days before I will come home and get to be there for him. I hate that feeling ...... but I am amazed and inspired to be able to provide him with a sibling.
He may not ever remember the Thanksgiving I missed when he was 17 months old, But I Truly hope that He will Always remember/care/protect his younger brother .
And just like that, So it begins. I am off to do the unthinkable .........Again ... On such a week to show my appreciation and thanks ... Some may call it Ironic, I call it a Blessing. An outward sign to never forget the journey our family traveled to get here.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Ok where to begin:
Weekly NST/OB Appointments: I have been going for 3-4 weeks now. I am HOPING that I had my last OB/NST appointment Tues. I was 3 cm dilated last friday and Tues, I was almost 5.5cm. I have been having Contractions every 40-55 mins apart until yesterday. They were 18-22 mins apart for about 2.5 hours. I called the Dr's office and they told me to wait until they were 10-15 mins apart. Told me to give it about 1-2 more hours, then head in. So hubs called into work, and I went for a walk to speed the process along. Half way through my walk, The Contractions just stopped. Completely. FRUSTRATING ......... Today = a few contractions here and there but nothing worthy of timing. If I do not go on my own before teh 24th, I have to be induced on the 25th( day before Thanksgiving here) Bleh, Bleh and more Bleh. We have a ton of Family coming for Thanksgiving and I would like to spend it with them and not in a Hospital. Thanksgiving is my most favorite holiday. BUT if that is what it takes to get a healthy baby here, So be it.
OK Now Let's Back up to Friday night - MT got a 100.something fever after his bath so I gave him a lil motrin, I checked on him around 1am, and the Fever had gotten to 102.something ... It was no t time for motrin so I waited til it was then gave him more. He woke up at 5am and his fever was 103 something .... I decided to put him in a bath and try to see what that would do .... At 6:45am, I called his ped's office and they told me to do things I had already tried. And if I wanted to, I could go to our Ped ER, But it did not open until 11am. I could just take him to the hospital ER. By that time, he had already fallen asleep in my lap so I tried to wait it out. He woke up around 9 and his fever was over 104.7 and still rising, I freaking out. Called his Dr and headed to the Ped ER to be first in line.
Of course, Everything looked ok, Nose, ears throat, Except his Skin. He was having a terrible flair up (happens right before he gets sick usually) We discussed the seasonal/h1n1 flu scenario and left with ointments for his eczema and tam.iflu..... They said he had possible Flu .. and on the safe side. We treated it. He has been off the meds for 2 days now. Today we went back for a follow up and all seems to be great (even his skin) ....
So now, we are all just waiting and anticipating the Armadillo's Arrival. If you could, I would LOVE good thoughts/vibes/prayers/etc that this Lil one Comes Before the 25th! I have once again been a bad reading/supporting blogger - and once I get it all together - you will see Comments from me again!!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Ok, Let's talk about this daylight savings time ordeal ....... It's been almost a week and I think we may be back on track. What a terrible thing to have .. Daylights Saving time! They tell me I gained an hour, but WOW does it feel like I lost about 10.
My group that I hang out with threw me a baby shower at the Mouse/Cheese place the other day. I am soo grateful for them. It really made me feel very special and blessed.
(remember these are MY feelings about This pregnancy - not everyone has to agree or disagree)
Speaking of the pregnancy - I have been having weekly NST's for the past 3 weeks. A few weeks ago, I received less than favorable news. My MFM did a growth scan and the baby was estimating about 7lbs 10oz. at 1 day shy of 35 weeks and low fluids. His Conservative opinion was the schedule a c section in 2-3 weeks. The term is macrosomia ( big bellied baby - it is from me being Gest. Diabetic) I asked him if anything was showing that the baby was in distress or anything that would warrant a schedule c-section. He did not see anything else alarming. The fluid was low, but it was not that low and fluid levels increase/decrease so it could have just been a bad time to check fluid levels. I had an OB appointment the next day. The OB I saw was all about a scheduled c- section. I lost my mind.
The reason I lost my mind, Something I have never posted on this blog (i do not think). I was put into labor at the MFM's office because of an Amnio at 36 /37 weeks with MT. It could have all gone very bad, but we all know it did not he was/is fine and had no complications from his delivery. So the MFM already told me that he would not do an amnio for this pregnancy.
The morning the did that amnio on MT they also did a growth scan and told me that he was ~9lb baby. He was delivered about 10 hours later weighing 7lbs 8oz. So growth scans to me, are just guesses and are not right 99% of the time. And can be a tool to freak mom/families out with and guide dr's. It is not at all exact.
I would want an amnio done to check for the lung maturation before I would feel comfortable about a scheduled section before 37 weeks.
I am also on blood thinners. Having major surgery becomes such a huge timing thing when on blood thinners, plus it leaves me at a higher % of getting blood clots after the surgery. Not something I want to worry about while adjusting to having a 17 month old and a newborn. I explained my opinion to the OB and she told me that they would have to get back to me at my next appointment on what they decide is best.
Yesterday at my weekly NST and Dr appointment, The Dr that was there to deliver MT, was my OB that day. She is also head of the practice and one of my Favs. She helped decide that as of right now, There is no need for a scheduled section. She is hopeful that I will go into labor on my own. I have weekly appointments/NST's. In 2 weeks, If no baby yet. I will have another growth scan to look at the baby's belly and hope it is the same ... If i make it to 39 weeks, Induction will happen. So ~3 weeks, MT gets a brother and I gain a newborn. Until then, you can find me walking, walking, walking, walking standing vertical often and chugging water to bring on the labor!
Monday, October 26, 2009
A few weeks ago, I left MT with the grandparents and went to a consignment sale. My dad kept sending me phone pictures of MT .. I just thought he was bored and playing with his new black berry. Well, When I went to pick him up, I noticed "something" looked different but I could not figure out what it was. Then I asked, Did you cut his hair? Phrased in a way hoping that he was going to say No ..... But instead, he said "Yes! I have been trying to show you for hours now." ...... I was devastated. I had to hold myself together. It has been a challenging time for my dad dealing with the lose of my mom's health, income, help, motivation, etc Dealing with Family members, phone calls and all that go with having a sick family member (he had just gotten off a bad news phone call) ....... And I certainly try my best to not cause more stress. BUT the words that were flying around in my brain were unbelievable .... I could not understand how/why he cut my son's hair!!!! I packed our bags up and put on a great face .... Held it together for quite some time .. Until I was trying to tell E about it.. It didn't look Terrible ... But I just did not want his first haircut to be done that way. Nor was I ready for him to have a haircut yet. I ADORE the mop top look and I want to keep it for as long as I can. He saved no hair for me, He took no pictures of the event .. I wasn't even there to see it ... I was so upset over it.
I have not mentioned it to my father because he was so excited that cut his hair. He has mentioned several times that he did wish that MT would have sat more still so he would not have messed up in a certain area. This weekend, he mentioned something about trying to fix it, blah blah, and I told him Absolutely not, I liked it a tad bit long and that I did not want him to cut it again ..... It was stated so diplomatically that I had NO IDEA who I was. Because the inner me was red faced screaming and fist pumping. Hopefully, I made my point though. Hopefully!
After a long stretch of fighting the Tot to eat, I think that MT is in a growth spurt again and coming back from feeling so lousy. I am back to feeding him meals/snacks about every 2 hours. He acts like he is starving and will inhale any kind of food offered. And I mean Anything. Which is going to be great for putting on some more pounds. He is by no means under weight. But he always falls into the under the 50 percentile for weight. Now, If I could just get my parents and husband aware of what "no diary" means. We will all be on the same page. I made a print out today! I hope this clears up any confusion on the issue ;) .. I also think he has some allergic reaction to Hay after our first encounter with Hay this weekend.
I have such a busy week. I am temping as a receptionist for a few days, We have 2 (maybe 3) dr's appointments, I want to carve a pumpkin with MT. I still need to finish his Halloween costume prep. We have a huge Halloween party on Thursday that I am helping with ... I need to work on my time management abilities. Temping has allowed me to start catching up on reading/commenting on your blogs. So hopefully, I will be all caught up in a few days ... To only get behind again, I am sure of that!
Friday, October 23, 2009
MT's word for Milk is Mee Mee. I knew he was getting better a few days ago, when he would stand in front of the fridge and plead for Mee Mee in the most pathetic 16 month old way. So sad and heartbroken over the fact that we were not getting it for him. I decided to call our ped's office again and ask for alternatives, plus I have already begun my research on what choice alternative I would like to try. I decided I would try Vanilla Flavored Almond Milk. For now, this seems like a good match. He has drunk it, hasn't at all complained and loves to eat it with cereal. So, for now, this is our choice. We did go through a few Hemp Milk's when he was a little younger and if I could find some reasonable priced, that might be a new choice as well. I am still researching this. It's all so conflicting, considered weird and new. So, it is hard to find all the facts. And it is such a personal decision. Right now, I have only stopped yogurt, cheese, and milk. If this continues to work, we may just continue without those items. If I notice that something still doesn't seem right, I will really push for tests and have to cut all diary everything out.
On baby#2 news, My OB's office has decided to agree with the specialist on my due date. So I had my 33 week appoint./nst test. There was some activity on the NST test that I had on Monday that warranted the Dr to want me to come back in a week. So, I will go back on the 30th and do it all over again. I also have a growth scan on the 29th with my specialist.
So Next week, I have a really big week. I am also filling in as a receptionist for a friend and making sure everything is ready for Halloween. Do you have Halloween plans? Are you dressing up? If so, as what?
We went to a pumpkin patch with friends yesterday. It was alot of fun. MT picked out the wierdest, wartiest pumpkin and loved carrying it around. He is so hard to get a photo of these days. He does not want to be still and look at the camera .. Or smile. He will do all the above unless a camera is involved... My lil Stinker! Here are 2 pictures:
E is off this weekend, and I am going to clean clean and clean .... It is hard to deep clean/organize with a big belly that has a mind of it's own and a 16 month old that doesn't really get the concept of cleaning/organizing
Monday, October 19, 2009
I have finally figured out which cat is peeing all over our house. I caught her in the act! It was not the one I mentally prepared myself to blame. I shamed her and did the whole routine. Hopefully, (fingers crossed) she will not pee any other place other than the litter box from now on .... Oh, I hope. E still wants them gone. My heart is heavy over this. I feel like I am failing or abandoning them. But on the other side, They are unhappy and deserve to be happy. OH, I just do not know what the best thing to do is.
I have moved to every 2 week appointments with NST's. My first one is tomorrow. Most days, I can't figure out how/why I am pregnant again. Don't get me wrong, I have been working through the demons and the head games that I was/slightly am still being haunted by. But there are more days of happiness and anticipation. There has been a bit of a disagreement between my OB and Peri again. It's over my due date and with Gest. Diabetes, I really need them to resolve it soon. Hopefully, tomorrow , they will have a better understanding of eachother and will come to some type of agreement. There is a 2 week difference in my due date between the 2 dr's. Example - I go to my 33 week appoint tomorrow according to my Peri, But According to my OB, it's just my 30 week. ..... It's been this confusing every appointment. But worth it. Last week, I did have to call in on a weekend and let them know that I was experiencing some difficulties and contractions. Turns out I have another bladder/yeast infection combo. ... Just trying to hold on and take care of myself and the pregnancy
We went to Orlando to visit Courtney and B! I had such fun just talking with them and hanging out by their hotel pool. (of course my camera battery died)
The latest - A week ago, I discussed stopping cow's milk with MT's Ped to see if that could be the cause of his eczema, diaper rash situation. A few days off the milk, his butt rash cleared up pretty good and his eczema looked better. I thought we were on an upswing. I was allowing him only 1 sippy of milk a day. Friday morning, I gave him his sippy of milk. He drank it and about 20 mins later, it was all over my living room floor, him and me. I cleaned us all up and thought maybe I should stop milk altogether. But, After I got us all cleaned up, it happened all over again. It has been going on all weekend and I had placed a call into his ped. I did what they told me to do - try to keep him hydrated etc..... It's Monday morning, nothing has changed and I have another call into the ped's office. This is the longest/sickest he has been and for that I am grateful and panicking. Grateful because I do know that others have dealt with so much more serious sicknesses but panicking because this is the most/longest sick he has ever been. I hope we can get him well soon.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Gossip Girl .... I love this show .. and I do not know why
Flash Forward ..I have tried to watch it 3 times now, and haven't finished it
Mercy .. and I am not sure what I think about it .. The acting wasn't that spectacular and neither was the story line ......
Amazing Race - YAH!
Greys's ... Yes for now
Castle ... I think I am going to keep watching this
NCIS LLCoolJ ...Yum and More please!
Parks and Rec ...Getting Dry
Modern Family ...Hilarious
Cougar Town .. It was funny
Melrose Place .. I watch ...but I want to stop and can't
The Office .. Love love love this show
The Community .. It's just a Meh so far
Desperate Housewives ... I watch but want it to end
Brothers and Sisters .. I enjoy this show very much
Anyone watch Eastwick? I am going to really miss Lipstick Jungle
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Bleeeeeeeeeehhhuuup I say, Just wait til you get here Armadillo - I will show you who is boss round these parts.
Just peel that apple - I'll eat it like a big boy thanks!
Oh, I love my friends
That Miss Jen Lady Makes Excellent Cookies Ma'
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
MT has been tortured with receiving his Molars and then Eye teeth 2 weeks apart .... So for a month, We were in some pretty Deep sleep deprivation, pain, misery, Etc You name it. He is 15 months old and has cut all but 2 more eye teeth coming very soon and his 2 yr molars .... This is Not fun for anyone involved. Trust me ... There were times, I wasn't sure we were going to survive. Nothing seemed to help, I tried all the (legal) tricks in the books, websites, parents But man o man ..... Screaming and Gnashing and writhing in pain was the only thing that was constant.
It got to the point, I honestly decided that there HAD to be something else wrong. Because Everyone I knew was telling me, that This just could not be related to teething ...... I started to doubt myself. When I start to doubt myself, I unravel .... and By unravel, I mean Like seriously become that pile of mush with no backbone or ability to think on my own .. Zero confidence and then I start doubting everything, and that is just more cause for a tailspin ..... then I just hit rock bottom ....
This weekend - Was my rock bottom. I was angry, defensive, tired, whiny, crying, ..Basically a Hot Mess. The stress/frustration of it all just peaked ....
MT had gone for about a month with refusing to nap. As in "i need a nap but am just going to cry and pitch a fit about it and I will not nap - but thanks". So, MT and I were doing like 14hr awake hour days together. And We were just striving off each others frustrations.... All of this while teething .. and tantrums and gnashing. And hearing how this just was not teeth, this had to be something else. Or other theories were that I do not stay home enough with him, I should cancel Life and sit at home and just wait for him to show signs of sleepy and then run and put him to bed, If he ever does decide he will sleep now...... , and My nerves were completely fried. He was refusing to eat as well. I did try the Stay at home and do nothing, It didn't help.
Since Sunday - It seems that I have somewhat solved our dilemma - He WAS hungry but refusing to eat because it was hurting his mouth/teeth. I was trying to offer soft things to help soothe the pain ..... But on that occasion, He wanted Hard/chewy things ..... or vice versa. So I never knew what or how meals were going to be. I had read so many times that you offer what you are offering, and if they refuse, You do not keep offering .. and I was torn between what was right/wrong. He is not old enough to tell me what he wants to eat, so he would just get frustrated and scream/tantrum .... But I have stopped worrying about all the rules. I just offer things until he was willing to eat and He now is back to napping. He WAS HUNGRY ...... I was starving my child ...... After the initial shock and guilt of it all, things seem to be back to normalish - and he is finishing cutting 2 more eye teeth. They are very close in breaking the surface. And for that, I am very glad to know that there may be a teething reprieve.
I need to make his 15 month appointment. In between all of this - One morning he woke up and nothing fit. He is in 2T clothes now for length. I am trying to slowly but surely start all over again with his wardrobe. That is the downfall of having a boy - People Do not buy you "cute" outfits throughout his life span like see with those having a girl.
If you are having a boy - or know someone having a boy - I think a great Shower Idea is to have People buy clothes in different sizes and seasonal appropriate. Last names starting w: A- D by 3-6 months (winter), E-H 6-12 month (summer), etc.
I am at 30 weeks according to my specialist and I am going to appointments every 2 weeks now. On the home stretch! Last Dr's appointment, My ob actually told me that I am doing a fantastic job with controlling my sugars with all these other stuff that is going on, She gave me a week off of the monitor. And told me to just check my fasting level and 3 or 4 more times during the week and if the numbers change or creep up, Call her. I was very pleased. She said that she thinks, it was adding more unnecessary stress to my days that need mot be there for now.
Did I mention how wonderful, Barb, Jen and Maresi are - We met at the Aquarium on Friday and they had a lil surprise baby sprinkle for Armadillo (baby boy#2). They are just the sweetest things! Really - I was so touched by that gesture. Jen was so crafty and creative with her gifts. I need to post pictures from this so you can see the wonderful cute gifts I got. (She made a onesie with an embroidered armadillo on it .... AND a Mini Van) - We had such a blast! and the Babies did too ...
I haven't caught up on my blogs but I will .... Tell me - How are you? Is there anything that I have not shared that you want to know about?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Things got ok this summer, never normal, But Ok is good .... Then School started for her and the first few weeks were not that bad, Then the students came .... The Anxiety set in and she was in panic mode. We would try to talk to her to see if there was something we could do to help her .... She doesn't talk .... She hasn't said more than 1000 words in the past 3 yrs. She sits in silence in a room filled with family/friends .. and just sits... She is blank, Numb, Empty, Tired, Struggling and Will not ask for help, or Does not ask for help, or Just plain has no idea what to do ..... Yesterday, she hit a very bad low and things happened and My Dad decided that she needs to just be done with teaching. .... I talked to my dad today and asked how things were going, My dad says she just keeps repeating how she has failed .. and how she can not find her way .. and how she is so depressed. She does not want to see Me or MT today .. .. she does not want to see anyone today ...... So I am at home researching new options of treatments, New Facilities, New Procedures, .. My Dad is out trying to secure a job with insurance, he is a self employed contractor. My mother carried the insurance ... Things are sticky .. We will figure this out, We always do, Life is what happens while you are planning ...
As I started off thinking about where I was eight yrs ago today on September 11. . I am now remembering my mother and the woman she was 8 yrs ago ..... ... The Country we lived in and how it may not all be directly connected, Indirectly - Life happens and People need to be appreciated ... Because in a Blink of a Eye - things can change drastically.
With all of that said, Does anyone have any experience or information on detox's through IV's?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I am not crafty in the least. I can follow instructions. I can type. (no I do not want to be a transcriptionist -right now), I can cook, I have uber multi-tasking abilities. I just need to figure out something to help generate a bit of income. I am not good at cold calling. I suck at selling.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
I had another growth scan with Dr Wonderful today. But today's was extra special because MT went with me to meet his younger brother. Jen and Elizabeth met us there so they could help me with MT while having the growth scan done. It was so much fun! All is well with Armadillo. He is measuring about 6 oz heavier than MT was at this same gestational age. So not bad, really. We showed MT his lil brother on the U/S TV. It was so cute. Jen brought her camera to take pictures for us! YEAH Jen .. Such smart thinking. After the appointment, we went out for lunch and had some girl time. It was a fantastic day.. I do not want to say too much because Jen is a much better blogger about this type of stuff AND she has the pics to prove the outing occurred.
**A week ago, The "No" game become so annoying to me. If you are not aware of this game, I will describe it briefly, mom says "no", baby ignores, laughs, Mom says "no" about 30 more times in a variety of tones and melodies, Baby keeps doing said "no" task, throws in some more laughter and ignoring. ... Mom somewhat laughs and smiles a few times to keep her head from popping off and rolling on the floor ...... I decided that I could not listen to myself say "no" one more time. Really, because No one was listening. And it was NOT EFFECTIVE..... Somehow, I just came up with thte phrase "Back Away". It is literal. I showed him what I meant by Back Away a few times and now by the second or third back away .. He is backing away. The first few times we did this lil exercise, He looked at me to see if I was serious or not ...... And Now, He knows that I am serious when I say this to him.
Do I think that eventually, This will stop working, Unfortunately, Yes. He is only going to be 15 months on the 10th. I know I have a long ways to go. But I just feel like enjoying this small victory right now and I will enjoy that feeling ... and figure out what is the next step to take when/if this stops being effective.
**I did not read this in a book, I am sure there is a book containing this info, but I just was trying to think outside the box on the fly ... Plus, I can say Back Away in a tone that makes him recognize that I am serious, No seems to be hard to say in a tone that Always sounds serious.
Monday, August 24, 2009
updated - Amy reminded me that all crockpot meals/recipes are greatly appreciated too because I consider those good to go too!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
It's been about 3 weeks with E's new schedule and We have most of the kinks worked out .. Except this new sleep/wake up time.
For the past few weeks, I have adjusted MT's bedtime in order to make it age appropriate and conducive to when he is actually tired. E was usually in charge of MT's bedtime up until the new shift change. So, MT had to get used to me putting him to bed. Know that we have now adjusted to me being the one to do the bedtime .. Our routine is quite breezy and mostly stress free.
Now we have a different problem. Wake up time. (and maybe this isn't as big of a problem as I think it is. maybe this is the evolution of sleep) I was used to him sleeping about 12.5-13 hours at night with 2 (40-60 min naps- usually 45) a day. So about 14-16 of sleep a day.
Now, He is sleeping about 9-10 hours a night. Then he wants out of bed with loud protesting. Because he is hearing BIL leave for work and E coming home from work ..... He is not waking up happy or on his own really. He is being woken up by their commotion. I bought a video monitor so that I feel safe enough to pull his door closed to try and keep out all their noise - but that is not working Obviously.
After MT is up and out of the bed and calmed down, I try to give him milk. I have learned to wait to feed him breakfast because he will not eat when he first wakes up. So after we play on the floor and watch some sprout or noggin, he is then ready for breakfast but he is also tired as heck. Because he is not waking up on his own. So some mornings, after breakfast, He wants to go back down for an hour (or more) nap ... (but not every morning- so I never know until he shows sleepiness) because he did not get that last 1 or 2 hours like he needed. So We are constantly suck in a limbo, Will he or won't he need a morning nap. After that nap, he seems like his jovial self.....
After that nap, he is good to go for a few good (3-4) hours. I tried a few techniques that were suggested. I did try to just keep him up, but that was really just miserable. Therefore - that method just made the whole day seem craptacular and I squashed that plan ... Right Now, I have my dad on plan B - Looking for another exit/entry access into our house. Our backdoor is a sliding glass door - Makes it hard to really use as another exit/entry way... But I am hoping that there is a way ... Then there will be strict orders for BIL and E to leave/come through the back door in the mornings. If not, I may be remodeling and putting in new doors because I just can't figure out what else is left to do.
Honestly, We have never been a "shhhh the baby is sleeping" household. MT adjusted to noise quite fine and I liked it that way. I am not used to having a light sleeper. So this is really new/weird to me.
I also would like to thank the eye teeth that we have coming in, and the developmental stage we seem to be in also. He is showing me more and more things he can do every moment. So I know his lil mind is just full of new stuff to show me. I have noticed that his sleeping gets really out of whack with teething and when he is about to hit new milestones. So Maybe my over abundance of hormones are kicking in and making me antsy over my lack of sleep and lessened ability to go with the flow .... I just get tired of hearing my parents tell me "he will sleep in unto 8:45-9am at our house, you should just leave him here" ...... OH it makes me want to leave him over there alright!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Questions/Opinions/What would you do: Scenario a 17 month old and a Newborn - The consensus seems to be, I need a dble stroller - what kind have you liked or would buy? Do I leave my 17 month old in a crib and when I am ready for the newborn to go in a crib (we put MT in his own room around 7 months) transition MT to a bed? So possibly leaving MT in his crib for another yr at ~26 months before placing Armadillo in the crib? Do I need 2 cribs? I do not have any extra bedrooms so Armadillo will be bunking with us until I feel like I can put 2 children in the same bedroom or we move ..... again .. Thoughts?
I had my OB appointment today and I was worried that things would not go so smoothly. It is no secret that My OB and Dr Wonderful do not seem to see eye to eye on some of my treatments. The thing is I love Dr Wonderful, I like 2 of the OB dr's really well and their office staff. I dislike alot of their nurses. The office just has a different feel to it. I am not sure if it's because they switched insurance companies or have too many patient to dr ratio. But I try my best to get through it all. because I do really like 2-3 of the 5 dr's there. That is 1/2 rate and I know it could be much worse, I have seen and read much worse.
But today went very smoothly. Exceeded all my expectations .. Granted it was with the 1 Dr i do favor the most. She was willing to listen, She did not scoff at me for not taking the 3 hr or talking to their office about it first, she read why the dr and I agreed to start me on Met, She didn't even yell at me for forgetting my sugars recordings and my pregnancy passport.
She calmed my nerves about the 2 or 3 root canals I am having tomorrow and assured me that it was best to take care of them now then later. It was a pretty low key appointment. Which I like. I do have to go and get a lab done to test my blood because I am still on lo.venox which is no big deal, I can do whenever for that.
Life in general, seems to be going ... And going well most days. Basically, I am learning to adjust. My husband is adjusting too so we are all making compromises and it's nice to not feel so out of control all the time.
MT is a grand ole 14 months. He has replaced walking with running. He went through a phase of semi-regression for a few weeks. Needing to be held, needing 2-3 naps a day not spaced out very well, not eating to eating everything in sight, forgetting the words he knew. It was weird and interesting and annoying all at the same time. He would just get frustrated and not help me figure it out. He would just say Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh all the time. But after 2 ish weeks of that - we seem back to a semi regular scheduled program Ish .... He is cutting the dreaded eye teeth and every day is a guessing game on if he will be crankypants or not ... Or take a morning nap or not ... Or eat or Not ... It seems that when "they" tell you that after that first yr - things will get more regular, they forget to include unless teething, or baby sicks, or new developments, or mom is pregnant .... ETC.
MT has learned some new tricks though in all that new growing and learning he is doing. He has added ThankYou to his vocab. It's more like dank guoo or dank dank but he says it after you help him or give him something he was trying to get.
Music is a MUST in our house, I turn on the upper lever music channel alot. We have one directed towards Toddlers and MT LOVES it. He will sit and play on the floor, run around, and dance for hours listening to the music. We just got a L.aurie Be.rkner CD (rocketship run). She by FAR is MT fav. One song counts down 5,4,3,2,1 and I was doing the numbers on my hand 2 weeks ago just for something to do, MT has caught on! He tries to count down with the song with his hands every time he hears it. Or if he wants to hear the song, He holds up 5 fingers and shakes his hand. He really is a sponge. I have since showed him how to do 5,4,3,2,1 and he is very proud and Happy when we do this together. It's amazing how their lil brains work all the time. The development is such an amazing process for me to watch. I love that I get to experience it.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I just have to write something to get that blog post off the top ..... So as most of my posts - this one is totally random.
- I just realized that I really dislike mustard on cheeseburgers
- I have a dr's appointment tomorrow with Dr Wonderful and I am hoping he has some answers/suggestions for me about my sugars
- It's amazing that in 2009 there are very limited meds a pregnant woman can take safely .... I have had a sinus headache for like 3 days that it irratating my teeth
- I miss taking showers in the morning but I love sleep more than getting up early enough to take a shower in the morning
- YAH for Shark Week, The Food Channel, HGTV, and Discovery Channel! I am not sure what I would do w/o these channels. I am looking forward to new Swordfish Fishing Show
- MAN, I want a new hair cut so bad but have no idea what to do
- I miss baking, Because I miss eating cookies/brownies but I am so OCD about my sugars that I can't bring myself to bake
Oh there are plenty more random thoughts of today but I won't scare/bore you with any more
Sunday, August 2, 2009
I have always been honest on my blog - Very very open and Honest. The past few months, I have not been completely open and honest with my feelings. But, Now, It's time to break that cycle:
I am having a VERY hard time being pregnant this time around. Mentally and Physically. Let's take it back a few months - I fantasized about the Idea of being pregnant again, idealized the idea of being able to decide that when I would want an #2, It would just happen .. You know, Like, Pick when you are ready and start and magically fall pregnant - Just like a fairy tale ..Or the Movies ..... Once We all adjusted to life with MT and would be feeling a groove and feeling Ready ...... Yes THEN ... that would just be divine, but if we never have #2 ..I know the blessing of one gorgeous little boy and I will be fulfilled with him
Then I started having "health issues" that I just knew were my PCOS acting up again ..... I took pregnancy test because people kept telling me to .. Now that I think about, they were actually faint lines and Not Evap lines ...
Then The dr's confirmed that I was in fact, Pregnant ... My first thoughts were, Oh Well, Here we go again ... Just more miscarriage to add under my belt. I found out I was 8 weeks and was waiting every day to find out that it was just another chemical pregnancy or that I was going to start bleeding at any moment. And week by week, Life went on, and I was somehow still pregnant. No Met, No aspirin, No L.ovenox, No med's to make me ovulate ... Nothing .. I felt like a fish out of water. This was not known territory. 7 yrs, No birth control, a few too many positive pregnancy tests and lots of Dr's bills and One beautiful MT to show for them. People knew we had to seek medically intervention to get MT on earth and asked if we went through it again so soon ... I was now THAT myth ... That girl .. to continue to perpetuate the story telling of friends to friends that know a friend that once they gave birth, all their fertility problems were fixed .... But are they really? What does fixed imply ... That I was broken? And not not? I endured more "i told you so" than I would like to recall
Each trip to the bathroom to vomit profusely, reminded me that I was still really pregnant and also caring for a 9 month old ...(is there a nice way to describe all day sickness?)
The dr's appointments came rolling in, Yip, Still Pregnant .... I am not sure when I actually processed that I Really was pregnant and possibly going to be pregnant until they say Dec..I say Nov....
All this time, I know that I know that I know and believe the blessing it is to have a child ... to be pregnant and caring for a child. I know with all my heart that this is a blessing beyond any blessing ... ..But ... Here is the But
MAN! It's So hard. It is not like my pregnancy with MT, where I have all the time in the world to enjoy downtime and take time for myself and get pampered and be totally intoxicated by the hormones and love and dotting friends/family. This time, I am chasing a very active Tot, being very very sick, peeing on myself because I could not make it to the bathroom in time because I was taking care of one of MT's immediate needs and having to neglect that "OMG I have to pee feeling", standing outside in the heat index of 107, bitterness of years of heartbreak, bitterness of treatments, bitterness for friends who deserve to be a Mom times two because I am not that great at handling one some/most days, Bitterness of timing, Bitterness is UGLY ....... This is not the circumstances I ever imagined when daydreaming of #2 .....
All of this is just touching the surface of the emotional aspect of having your body flooded with an overload of hormones again. There are so many emotional layers to infertility .. Like an Onion .. I peel back each layer to only find more layers of raw-ness. More layers of deep rooted hurt, Dealing with More very hurtful losses of friendships, More inconsiderate, hurtful comments and feeling of Am/Was I really infertile after all ... Doubt .... Sending me to places that are dark. Rocking my core.. Confusing, Mixed emotions of loss, birth, cures, doubt .. Questioning my very being, My bitterness, My blessings, My struggles, My feelings, My life ....
The only thing that I can do it, accept it, Move on ... Embrace it head on. This is my Life, the cards I was dealt. I can't change it, I can't make excuses for it. I have to Learn as we go ... And try to make the absolute most I can out of it, Try to keep the friendships I have, Open and honestly ... and Hang on for dear life ....
Friday, July 31, 2009
I was right about the med's and glucose levels. So right now, I am in a holding pattern. I am waiting for the lab paperwork to come in the mail, They mailed it and apparently it's being delivered to my address via Alaska ... I was going to have the 3 hr test done today but since no papework and really no babysitter, We had no choice but to wait.
Ever since I had the 1 hr test, I have been testing my fasting sugars in the morning, 1 hr after each meal and then again just before bedtime. Over-Kill, I know. But it has helped me see a problem that I am going to discuss with my perinatologist on wednesday. My fasting/waking sugars are the highest .. Higher than they should be. I want to discuss maybe instead of taking the 3 hr, continue monitoring like I am, and take some sort of insulin/metformin or something of the like at night to help my fasting sugar levels. I have no idea if this is possible, but That Fasting level is the only problem.
I ate/drank something that I knew should send my sugars over the edge just to see if it really would .. and it didn't ..It was still in the low range bracket. I have no disputing that my sugar is wonky, and Since I am monitoring it, I am hoping with all hope that I do not have to do the 3 hr test. It makes me very very ill. (for like 2-3 days) I have done it a few too many times.
On a different note, I am still trying to convince myself that we will all adjust to E's new schedule and that we will all be better for it. Good things that have come out of it:
- I have gotten more involved in the momgroup I was hanging out with. It has been a blast getting to hang out with them in the mornings. They are a great support and friendship and provide insightful and adult conversations
- MT decided he would not in any way take a bottle from me - Nosirreebob thankyouverymuch. So our night time bottle is gone .... We are bottle free.
- E's is making BIL help more around the house ... YAH. I was in bed watching TV with all chores done/clean house/laundry in the dryer at 9pm last night .. first night in MONTHS that I can recall being in bed that early ... and I LOVED IT.
E has off this weekend and I am in need of some alone/me time. I can't even figure out what I want to do with my own alone time! Sitting in silence sounds great! Maybe a quiet theater? I used to think weird things of people who went to the theater alone or a restaurant ..but now i get it .... it's quiet and dark and no one will ask you for anything.
Monday, July 27, 2009
The antibiotics warning says not to take if diabetic, May raise sugars ....
To me, This means: Can't these Antibiotics I was given today for an infection because it will mess with my glucose lvl? I think it can If i understand this right.
Shouldn't I wait to take the the 3 hr test after I am done with the antibiotics? Or not start the antibiotics until I take the test?
Of Course, Gotta call the Dr back in the morning. It seems they should know this .... Not sure. Thoughts?
- i just got the call - I failed the 1 hr test and have to complete the 3 hr test. They are going to mail me the lab form and I will have to work around a few schedules in order to make it there at a decent hour to fast ... but We will get it done.
- I have another UTI. I didn't even know. They will call in meds for that too.
- I am on my way home to wake up E to have a chat about my life and how I need things to be a bit different regarding his schedule, helping out, his Brother - I hope we learn to all adjust soon...
He stopped drinking his nightly bottle a few weeks ago really, But I would still make it and offer it, He would take sips but then lose interest. Monday night, I didn't make one, and he hasn't asked/fussed about it's absence.
He has FINALLY started doing the all done sign language AND saying all done when he is finished eating, or being outside, done in the bath tub .. He is VERY very very proud of his new accomplishment and word. Sometimes, he just says/does the sign for all done just for claps. He enjoys being praised. Who Doesn't...
Shoes - Since Monday, I am a proud owner of 2 new pair of shoes. He actually likes them. He understands now that he has to wear shoes to go outside and will bring them to me when he wants to go.
Yesterday was my dad's birthday, I got him to say Happy Birthday to you while practicing singing in the car on the way to my parents house. But have not gotten him to do it for others to hear
It is so amazing to watch how much he is understanding now. He certainly understands so much more than I gave him credit for.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
We celebrated my mothers birthday tonight. Since she made me dinner on my birthday, I repaid the favor. She wanted spaghetti and a cake. Simple and easy. So I made homemade spaghetti sauce (i actually have never done that - She always does) and a birthday cake. My BIL's birthday is tomorrow, So I told him the dinner/cake was for him too.
My dad's birthday is Sunday - birthdays birthdays birthdays all over. He wants a steak from a certain restaurant, So I assume Monday or Tuesday, we will take my parents there.
I appreciate the support/comments. It does really mean alot to me- I know that I have been very dry and boring and I appreciate those that are sticking through it.
A funny/Holy Tantrum MT moment - The Show:
Last weekend, we went to St. Augustine Beach for an impromptu vacation to see my sister who was also on vacation. They have Outlets... YAH shopping! I wanted to get MT a pair of shoes. I have shoes but none seem to fit him yet and he is a walker and really needs a pair of shoes ... He has a wide, flat foot so i wanted a sandal type shoe that would be easy to get on/off. Found something similar, tried to put his foot in it. He would curl up his toes and scream in demand that I stop. My parents were with me trying to help me convince my 13 month old that shoes are fun .... NOT going to happen - after a very hefty fight and 3 adults, I managed to get him in a pair of sandals. I put him down to walk in them and you would have thought I was making him walk in flippers (you ever tried to walk in flippers). He was NOT having it, after 30 seconds of repetitively turning his ankles over, flapping the shoes and screaming, He threw himself on the ground hitting his head on the shoe racks, rolling around and screaming in protest .... My blood was boiling ... I was THAT mom, with THAT Kid .. How embarrassing. We immediately took the shoes off his feet and proceeded out the door .. I was Furious..... I have decided now, that all punishment will require shoes ... If i can ever buy him a pair! Welcome to toddlerhood ;)
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes and Congratulating our Newest Member of the Blue team. We are so excited to be able to re-use all of the cute blue things! I have been asked a few times if I was disappointed that I am not going to be able to celebrate with Pink - and honestly, I am not at all. Not in the least. In fact, I really didn't ever believe I was carrying a member of the pink team. Every time I heard it, I laughed .. and thought to myself ... We'll show them!
I am intrigue how completely different this pregnancy is from MT's though. I would be willing to say that Everything is different. My sleeping or lack there of (Hello Insomnia), my nausea (that sill lingers on), my tiredness, my aches/pains, my hormones (that are taking over), my patience's, etc. Everything just feels so out of control/sorts and different. To answer the Name question: No, Of course not, We do not have a name picked out yet. We are working on it. It's going to take months, I am pretty sure of that
This should be entitled "Why I am such a craptastic blogger friend"
- I have mentioned my mom before, Well, She is not doing well. Things got severely bad about 5 weeks ago and We had to deal with that. My dad just can't do it on his own, So I try to step up and help out. It is still not much better than when it started 5 weeks ago ... but hopefully we are on the right track with her and She will be doing much better soon. To top it off, they have found cancer cells on one of her biopsies. So in a few weeks, I have to go with her to get more tests done and some more skin grafts
- Teething - Really, I hate to even have to include this on my blog ever again but it seems that Teething is our "thing". Poor MT, He just cannot handle it. AT.ALL. Medicated up and all, I see no relief. I tried the Hyla.nd's teething tablets, they made him vomit all over. .. Not sure what else to say about that - It sucks Royally.
- New work schedules - We will soon be adjusting to E's new work schedule that will leave me and MT on our own for months basically. This is scaring the bejezzess out of me. Because of this, I had to quit my p/t job for now. I am hoping to figure out, at some point, How to manage working a job outside of the house into this life of mine.
- Adjusting to my 22 yr old BIL living with us. WOW, the challenge that this causes could honestly be it's very own post. I am just trying to not sweat the small stuff, keep the language and such at a G rating - and failing miserably. Things are going to have to be discussed at length, I can see this coming. We have tried by making comments to him about it - but I think we are going to have to make some ground rules .... He always has a comment back to our comments - and remember He was raised by my MIL - not the best Role Model. And certainly not the best example of how I like things to go down at my house.
I am trying my best to stay afloat and keep up with everyone - but honestly - Not doing a great job at that at all ... Hang with me, Don't give up on me commenting, This too shall pass ... and I will be afloat again soon.
Monday, July 13, 2009
The same Ulta -Sound Tech that reveal the anatomy of MT was all excited and ready to reveal the anatomy of the Armadillo. The office was so upset that I did not bring MT or a Photograph of Him. We got right down to business, counted the heart ventricles, watched the blood flow, counted/measured organs/body parts .. ... Everything that needed to be there was there! When she got to what I thought was the identifying parts that distinguish between pink and blue .. I shouted "OH YAH, That's Boy parts!" She laughed and said actually that was the umbilical cord ..... But after a few more minutes, The Jewels were Revealed in much more detail, I said "THAT's a Boy! ..She giggled and shuck her head in agreement. MT is going to be a big Brother to his Baby Brother! How exciting!!!!
He hugged me and shuck E's hand a bunch of times and told us how thrilled he was for us. On our way out of the office, he reminded me that he wants a picture of MT (in 3 weeks when I visit him again) and that tonight he was going to send my delivering nurse an email with the exciting news.
What a very fun Day!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
On Monday at 11:45 am, I will find out if MT gets a brother or a sister. It's a few days before my birthday, But It's definitely a present I will take early.
Tuesday Early Morning, I received a wake up call from MT around 3 am - He was screaming. I went to check on him and he was burning up. With all the de-cluttering, I could not find his thermometer. It was also 3 am and I was delirious. I just gave him some tylenol and took his clothes off and we sat in the living room for a while and he wanted water. Then I tried to lay down with him in our bed. The kid steam rolls. ... Really, He just tosses and turns and flips all around in his sleep. So finally I decided to get up and take him back to bed. He woke up 2 hours later. Rough night for sure. He was not feeling as warm and I know he is teething so I just kept him well medicated, and went through the day. Later on, again he felt extremely warm, I decided I needed to take his temp .. 104 OUCH ..... I gave him more tylenol and called the dr's office ... Of course it was after hours ... It took me calling them again to finally get a call 2 hours later .. . By that time, I already had the temp down to 100 and a sleeping baby. I was no longer panicking did not think urgent care was needed. Today he has had no temp thus far, but very cranky and sleepy. I am kicking myself for not making a Dr's appointment today - But I really do think that the Crank is from stupid molar that refuses to come through ... Not that high temp though .. Not sure what to think about that. He is showing no real sign of sickness. I have a feeling I will be in the Dr's office with him Tomorrow.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
First order of business:
Ok question for those that have a baby monitor. We have an angelcare but have recently decided that we need to buy a different one. We bought ours on craigslist and I LOVE IT. Except my steam rolling baby sets off the alarm 2-3 time a night and the receiver in our bedroom is causing interference with our alarm clock buzzing since the re-arranging/de-cluttering. My husband keeps turning off the monitor in the middle of the night ... Makes me frustrated ... SO What are you using? Do you like it? If not tell me that too, If you could buy a new monitor what would it be? Video? Or just Audio?
Well, the De-clutter 2009 has about ended. I just have a few bins to go through. It's papers that require setting up an organized filing system, a cleaned off desk, books that need a bookshelf .. But I need to buy a bookshelf and find a spot for it, find a few more spots for odd pieces in the kitchen, waiting on the new stove burners/knobs to arrive ... That kind of piddly stuff. Looks Like I may need another trip to Ikea. Truly, I am obsessed with that store. I am glad it is 45 mins away and not 10 mins away!
Actually I will be happy to never say or think de-clutter ever again. Everyone that helped claimed it was in no way de-cluttering. They claim it was the make up nesting that I never got to do for MT because he came earlier than expected and starting early with the Armadillo. Could be but BOY does it actually feel great to walk in a room and not trip over boxes, or weird placed furniture. I can open cabinets w/o things falling out. Although, the kitchen is done and cleaned out, We are having to move some things around again to make it more functional for us.
I have every piece of laundry that we own cleaned *mostly* and put away. It all has a spot now. (*there is a load that needs to be folded - but I think We have room for it - If not- I will Make room by finding more to sell/donate). It makes me want to have people over now.
This project was actually very timely. My mother is back to having a hard time again. She is not herself. TV is a huge trigger and being off for the summer and being this hot so early in the yr, there really isn't much else to do. So this has help keep her mind busy. We took her back to her dr and hope to have things evened out in 3 -4 weeks. Some days she was not that much of a help, but On those days, I considered it a break for my dad. And A time for me to use the bathroom by myself. And catch a quick errand w/ an extra pair of hands.
With all the de-cluttering, house guest adjustments and Mom health issue, I think my stress level went too high. 2 days ago, I started having very intense severe pains/contractions. Hindsight, I think I got dehydrated and allowed some lifestress get to me. After some rest and water, It did lighten up and by the next morning I was just sore.
On-top of the De-cluttering, that morning of the dehydration, MT fell on a toy and busted his lip and his nose. Lots of blood, We were pretty sure he broke his nose at first, but after all the clean up, realized it was just bruised. Then a few hours later, After a nap, he was running from me in his crib and fell and landed right on the top railing and now has a black eye ..After that episode, I changed his diaper to discover a severe diaper rash. More bleeding .. I am not sure if it was from the disposable diaper that was put on him or if it is a combo of the teething he is still doing. All but the bottom left molar has broken through. His molars are STILL causing big problems (read crankiness, appetite), and interrupting his (my) sleep, He does get motrin but it does not seem to help much.
Right now, My mom has him at her house and I am supposedly unloading boxes, creating a filing system and taking a nap .. but I just want to sit and melt into my couch and take a good snooze! Which is what I think I am totally going to do ...
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Remember this post: If you don't that's Ok, I'll Summarize:
We completely re-arranged the entire house to allow MT to sleep in his crib in his room and have a separate play room. That was at the end of Feb .. As in less then 4 months ago .....
Today (and tomorrow) and a good part of the next week, are being dedicated to Move the entire contents of my house all around AH-GEN. Fickle Much, you ask? Yes, No and Maybe. It has to do with alot of different things we have going on. Our bedroom currently did not have any doors on it. We need doors. E's brother is moving in this week. He needs a room (with doors) and a bed .... So we spent a good deal of time today actually decluttering and cleaning. Like Deep, spring cleaning. On your hands and knees with a toothbrush and a rag type of cleaning. We also bagged up 7 very large trash bags of clothes, and 4 -5 very large trash bags of misc. items that just need to go. (and that was only attacking 2 walk-in closets, 1 bedroom/bathroom, 1 storage closet and 1/2 of the kitchen. Yard Sale,Here we come! We have 2 more bedrooms, 2 more closets, 1 more bathroom, a living/dining area, and the other 1/2 of the Kitchen left still to tackle.
I have recruited my parents to come along for the ride. Plus 4 people (and a munchkin) accomplish so much more than 2 people (and a munchkin). AND. I hate to actually admit this, but my house was in dire need of attention. It was getting out of hand. It was no clean sweep house BUT, It needed some TLC. It was my push to get rid of things from college that I thought needed saving, go through old unpacked boxes and really evaluate the items' purpose in my life/house. My dad has very good skills with utilizing every aspect of the room to it's fullest and THAT is what I needed. Help, Brawn, Brains, Babysitting, and motivation. On this rainy week, It was just the perfect task. I feel so accomplished ... And so amped and ready for more tomorrow. It feels great to De-clutter. Bring it on! I am winning the war on my household!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Not too graphic and w/o too many intimate details but enough to get the picture:
Too much Z.ofran + that "OMG i have to go ....but I can't" feeling + a repair guy that keeps knocking on your door at the WORST times 3 times + 1 yr old that is pulling EVERYTHING out of the bathroom cabinet while I am trying my best to take care of business = Shear Panic Attack. And a need to attach baby proofing things to said bathroom cabinet doors!
This was my day, Yesterday. Just in case you did not know this about the med, Consider yourself Warned.
Our Upstairs Neighbor's A/C seems to leak or the line get's blocked up or some other excuse I get and it leaks into our laundry room .... YES i have written about our Water saga's before ..This year, I have had my share of Leaking water, and I am just trying to grin and bear it ... But I made a phone call to our landlord about it and Then .... Timing Was Not on my side .... That's all I gotta say about that - OH but If i was funnier and Better with words, You would TOTALLY have gotten a very different blog post! Let's just say Colace is now my bestest friend and will not be forgotten!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
I probably should wait a few more days to write about this. When I have stopped crying about it and When I can begin to think rationally.
Everything is fine - Except our nap/bedtime routine. It WAS fine, Until 2 weeks ago. Like I have mentioned:
Naps are all over the place these days, Never really consistent even If I try/plead/beg/be consistent ...
Top Molars have broken through, Bottom molars still seem to be making our lives miserable. Bed time SUCKS. I am SO OVER teething! Bedtime has never sucked for us, so this is my first experience. I am not sure what to even do about it. We have always done: Dinner, Bath, bottle, book routine for months now. But the past 2ish weeks, There has been resistance. And that resistance gets louder and louder and louder as nights have progressed. He gets to this ungodly screaming, cannot breath crying fits. Let's back up. 2 Weeks ago, He decided that he will throw his blanket/paci/lovey out of the crib at bedtime and cry (pitch a fit) about it until someone goes back in and gives it to him. At first We would wait til he was pretty upset and then go back in, hand him the things, lay him back down and THEN he would go to sleep.. No problem after the obnoxious ritual. Then I decided I was not going back in to hand him his things he threw out and did a bit of a CIO over it. And for 2-3 nights It was ok ..By ok, I mean it took 40 mins AFTER the crying started to get to sleep. So the put in crib to sleeping time was about a 90 min process. Which was also driving me bonkers. Now, CIO is not going well. Not at all! He does this "crying til I will not breath" routine for a VERY long period of time. and I am at my wits end. I know that I can take more of this but I would Not like to. I am frazzled over it and losing my rational thoughts in the process. I am having to Hold him tightly in my arms until he calms down enough to get comfortable and fall asleep. This is no fun for him, certain not fun for me and I feel years of therapy are going to be a direct correlation to this.. .... It.IS.Miserable!
To make matters worse, There have been lots of changes going on in our household (and more to come soon) and I KNOW that this is also a bit of the cause of the bedtime problem.
One problem is that my MIL is at it again. Causing too much family drama that One of E's siblings is pseudo living with us. (started this weekend) He is looking for a job here so eventually, He can just in with us. Which is another blog post all together...... Mind Swirling
I am really pleading that once the bottom molars come through, our bedtime routine will look somewhat similar as it was. On a plus side, I read that 1 yr olds really struggle with bed time due to all the new tricks they are learning and that things will get better. I just needed to get this out of my negativity spot because it was bringing me down. Because, Yes, This too shall pass.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Do you know when you are going about your day and you think "this is good blog material" ..Then Later on you sit down, write it, and wonder "why did I think this was good blog material?" Lately, I have that problem.
Over the past few years, I have read/commented/participated on many blogs that started off as IF blogs on many different paths that have been now been blessed with receiving their awaited miracles. I consider myself lucky to share in their journeys. Lately, it seems that more and more scams/untruths/lies that cause panic and doubt are being thrown out into that blogdom. I makes me a lil sad. I just wanted to take a second to acknowledge that everything on this blog is the truth OR my personal Feelings, Thoughts, or Experiences. My very own. I am who I am.
A Messy house keeper
inspired by many
Enjoying the Beach/Ocean/Pools
an Over Sharer
an Entertainer at heart
a fan of reality tv, the Food Channel, Discovery, and Girlie mushy movies
Scared of being pregnant again so soon
Feeling guilty at times for being scared of being pregnant so soon
Honest to a flaw
Tired and Anxious
Feeling my Old Self Return slowly in bits and pieces every day
A poor Friend at times
a lover of all things dessert
grateful of every comment that has ever been left on this blog
I am Me... I may be parenting after IF, I may be pregnant again after delivering 12 months ago but I am more than that ... I am Farah. *I may come back and add to this post if I think of More things I want to include.
I encourage you to do this on your own blog! If you do it will you leave me a comment and let me know. If you have never left a comment, I encourage you to delurk and participate!
Monday, June 22, 2009
"Look What I can do!"
Thank you for all the birthday wishes. I printed the post w/ comments out for his baby book.
Let's talk about a few things:
Heat - I know it's Florida, The Sunshine State, and I am ok with that. BUT the heat index 102-115 every day so far has not been pleasant. It's only June, What am I supposed to do when it's August, Our Really hot month? It's not even so much about the sweat, The humidity makes it so hard to breath. It's miserable!! And I have a boy that craves outside All.The.Time. I will not even mention the mosquito's! The ones that are the size of small dogs ... That swarm to take bites out of my sweetness!
1 yr Molars - I hate you! Give my child a break and cut through already! Thankyouverymuch
Time - Why is time/money and money/time... When I have time, I don't always have money and when I have money I lack time ..... Where is that balance? .. I can't seem to find it
We lost a bottle the other night (Friday night) after E fed MT. We looked everywhere and could not find it anywhere. I found it Yesterday in the hood of one of MT's Cars he pushes around. I found quite a few things in the hood of the car that have been missing.
There has been a new word learned at our house Friday: Cookie! My child must love the K sound .. Most of his words he says are all k's. He is constantly talking these days. I have NO IDEA what he is saying but He does and He thinks I should too. He has started hissing too. I am just trying to figure out what that means. He waves bye bye to go outside now. He will push one of his cars to the door bang on the door yell something and wave bye bye to indicate his desire to go outside. He does this first thing EVERY morning and at least 5 times a day. He just really loves to be outside
The next day after MT's birthday party, he took a 2.5 hour nap in the middle of the day. I thought this was because he was making up for lost sleep. But this seems to have been the norm nap schedule now. Some mornings he will take a mid morning nap still (about 3 hours after wake up time) but other days seems uninterested in the morning nap. So, they boy that only took cat naps seems to give me at least a 2 hours window in the afternoon to get things done. My house is going to appreciate this so much. It could use a good clean!
I have an uneventful ob appointment tomorrow. Not sure what to expect since I now have pretty low expectations from them .. I love their delivery experience So I am just focusing on that for now!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Saturday was MT's birthday party and honestly, It was a blast! I enjoy watching others enjoy themselves. It was at a park and believe it or not, No one melted away. It was under a shaded shelter, and On the gulf, so there was a bit of a breeze. My dad and I made pork, chicken, rice, and beans for a and had all the fixins' for a build your own burrito bar. I am so thrilled with the way everything turned out.
We ate as soon as most arrived. Then after lunch, I had bubble machines and gave each child their own bubble wand to help make more bubbles:
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Until, I calmed down, took some deep breathes and started to relax. A few days ago, I have started to feel movement. So I knew that if I would just get in a relaxed position and just breath in and out, and hope that I would feel some movement. I did ..and have been feeling movement all weekend sporadically of course and usually after a bath/shower and laying in bed. I am pretty sure it's movement.
Today at 4:30pm the nurse did call me to let me know that they did confirm it just being a UTI and I should continue the lots of water, cranberry (with no sugar), and antibiotics.
I have also taken off a week of work in hopes to get it under better control, rest up and finish up with the last few things for MT's 1st birthday party on Saturday. I cannot always run to the bathroom when needing to at work since we are on a time schedule and I need to take more care of myself than this particular part time job plus I have loads of things to do for the birthday party. It was just a good time to do it.
So - this with me, hopefully are getting better. I have contemplated many times driving to Jen's for a hb check. Then I talk myself out of it and try not to be a paranoid spaz!
The day of the bleeding, I did receive a call from the dr office letting me know that my triple screen/nt all came back fantastic .. Which of course is great news ..... Just wish I could magically hear the heartbeat and Know. I may have to call the dr office tomorrow and beg for a listen.
Friday, June 5, 2009
I managed to get sleep and went tothe dr office this afternoon with as many calm nerves a possible - but at the Dr office. I almost imploded. This is NOT how i normally handle things but lately I am just soo not myself and unable to communicate my needs/desires ... so I basically got steamrolled at my appointment today. At 1:50 they called me back to sit in the nurses station. Out in the open. Took my bp, had my urine on the counter and announced to whomever walking by and me that there was blood in the urine. Took my temp and asked me my symptoms and then said she would be right back ... Walked away ... came back with a rx for antibiotics and told me they would have to send out my urine and call me next week . And told me to have a nice day ....... That was it. No room, no asking me my weight, no Doppler, no dr even ....... I have never had a bladder infection, UTI or the like so this may very well be the norm ..but now I am fuming .... I can't believe I allowed them to send me on my way w/o ever stepping foot in an exam room .... Or hearing a beating heart ... Maybe irrational but how I am feeling right now. I have a call back in to see if they think it's a UTI, bladder infection or what .... I was so shocked speechless I didn't even ask.
Monday, June 1, 2009
We found a 2 bedroom 1 bath house a block from my parents house. They live 12 miles north of us now.
We currently live in a condo 3/2. 1050 sq ft living space. My landlord is fantastic and we live right across from the pool. The condo has been having some problems lately - but all very fixable.
The house is a 2/1 (900 sq ft living space). So we would lose a bathroom and a bedroom (and a community pool) but gain the biggest fenced in backyard in the neighborhood. MT could actually go outside in our yard and play! I could actually leave clothes/diapers on racks to dry while I was gone and not worry the neighbors will steal them. There is a shed outside to store things in ... As it is now, god willing everything is fine in utero, the 2 children would have to share a room at either place so losing a bedroom IN that aspect isn't a big deal to me. The kitchen area is much bigger/newer/functional with many more cabinets at the house. The rooms are not that much smaller. But, yes we would be downsizing considerable. And moving more north from my husbands job, playgroups, my job, Etc. We are very central located right now. But its just 12 miles ...
Instead of being 5-15 mins from his playgroup areas, I would be about 15-25 mins away. Instead of being 15-20 mins from my parents, We'd be 2 mins walking time. We would save about $900 a yr. (I am taking out what I think we will spend in gas for moving more north)
Yes there are pros/cons to being that close to parents. My parents even though a PITA a times, are very willing to help us out. I mean, all families come with annoying tendencies, Ya know what I mean? So ..Imagine your parents being mostly the helpful kind with annoying ticks - having a 17 month old and a 1 month old .... What would you do, Condo or House?
*either way we will still be renting - forgot to include that. So yes there will be some point that we would eventually have to move again if the smallness does seem to become a factor for the children. Keep yout opinions coming. This is helping so much!