If you haven't read my update from my Dr's appointment today, here is the long and short of it - Clom.id didn't work well and I am moving to injectibles/IUI. Today is CD2, I technically have a chance to get med's to me by tomorrow in time to use them for CD3. However, my husband and I have decided to sit this cycle out. We are moving, adjusting to a new shift, recovering financially from moving, etc. It would be a big rush fest to with moving, $$, and sleep deprivation. So sticking to the assive of many of my relatives and fertiles, We are just relaxin' this cycle. I will call my Dr's office and cancel my CD8 U/S and ask to reschedule next cycle. I have cried all day today - for many reasons really- I'm sad we are moving on to bigger, badder, more aggressive treatments. From what I understand from my Dr is that C.lomid wasn't helping my body make a high enough supply of progesterone at the end of my cycles to enable a pregnancy. My numbers should have been somewhere around 20 and they were at 7. I have mixed feelings about this. My Dr NEVER truly did a 7dpo test, only a CD21. So is that a fair assumption to make on his part??!! I asked him and he insists that 4-5 days would not have make that great of a difference and that it is unnecessary to provide with me progesterone supplements/suppositories. Being that I am not a DR, and there is alot of conflicting research on progesterone, I am forced to believe him until proven otherwise. (any feelings on this)
Another reason is finances. It is so hard for me to grasp that I have to spend more than $25 (a bottle of wine) to get pregnant - after 4+ years, and just when I think I have come to terms with it, I have to justify it to family member(s) and close friend(s). *who are not infertile* Then I start feeling sorry for myself and that leads me into a talespin. Is this a feeling that I will revisit until I conceive or does it stay with you for ever? Can't I just get over it. I am NOT one of the lucky ones!! Why can't people just except that? Some people require a little assistance. It doesn't make them broken or whatnot, It should make them resourceful and diligent. But instead it makes us impatient and not relaxed ........then why does this lead into the "just relax, you are trying too hard" speech??
My Dr recommends 75 iu of Bravel.le from CD 3-8, U/S and blood draw on CD 8, about 7-10 more days of injections, U/S and trigger with ovi.drel. Then IUI 24 hours after trigger. Is this all about standard? I have never actually researched meds, units, amounts times and such? I am just making sure this is all about standard. I am contemplating calling another RE's office and getting prices for their procedures. Our Insurance does not cover any of this, so we are on our own, like alot of people. At this point, I do not feel any emotional/financial/bonding ties to my RE and I am not happy with the way that office makes me feel at all. The Dr does a fine job explaining things to me - but over all I have a take it or leave it attitude. I chose this Dr because I was under the assumption that they comp'd some treatments, but after today's lil meeting, I know otherwise. I was trying to ask the Dr for pricing and I know he may not completely have them memorized, but shouldn't he make arrangements for me to speak to the financial coordinator?? He just told the scheduler to schedule me for an U/S Monday and told me where to call to get the meds. It just feels so weird? I am going to call back tomorrow and ask about payments and stuff... I am feeling very overwhelmed and afraid of prices.
My husband is the kindest, most calm man on the planet. I left work today early, came home and discussed our options at' nauseum and even though I am sitting out 1 cycle, I feel like it will be good for us. I do not like rushing into things. Starting tomorrow - that rushes me. I like to have all my ducks in a row and all my instructions understood. Plus, I would be moving while mixing/giving myself the injections and my husband really said that he would feel better if things were alittle more organized - and he is right. Also, I have an apportunity to try and find Brave.lle from left over cycles and try to save some money.
Well by this point, I am sure you can tell what kind of day I had so far ...... SHITTY, just plain and simple SHITTY . My eyes and head hurt from crying so much.