Friday, February 6, 2009

Progress In the making

In regards to our eating situation:


We have made progress with a level 2 nipple. We have been successfully feeding MT with a Lvl 2 nipple for almost 2 days. Successful for us means, No more intense screaming at the bottle. We have been sticking to the lvl 2 nipple since Tuesday. The sippy cup is just not going to happen yet. I have tried and tried and tried and I am not sure we are doing more harm than good with this sippy cup situation at the moment. He will bite on it to get stuff out and let it run down his chin or spit it out but he will not drink from it. I bought two different brands: this nu.by and the g.erber. I took the valve out of the gerber. I heard that was a good transitioning tip to just let it flow through. I will say that it does make a mess. He will play with them, sling them around, throw them, bite the spouts and drool the contents all over. I assume this is "learning"? Anyone know. Or by allowing him to play and I setting myself back? Any other cups that I should try?



On another note, As always, We are constantly teething. The 1 yr molars are no joke to MT. This poor child has spent most of the day just inconsolable and all out of sorts. I hate to see his personality effected so much. He is just so miserable. I wish there was something that seemed to help but nothing does. We have had to hold him and sooth him for every nap and most of the day.



Even though the teething situation is just awful, My child has moments of determination. He wants to pull up on everything and stand for hours on end. He really just wants to walk so bad. His new trick is trying to pull himself up and hold onto the back of the bouncy chair. He likes to make it bounce while holding on. He is very proud of himself. We have gotten very very close to army crawling this week also.


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As for my work situation. Thank you for all the wonderful encouragement. I can't describe the feeling. It's totally uncharacteristic of me. It had to be done. My marriage was being neglected. The way our work schedules would have been set up, We would only see each other every other weekend and nights after 8pm. I would have had no help with drop off or pick up at a daycare on days that E worked. (3 days a week). I also would have had to work 8 hours a day with ~45-55 min commute each way. The start and end time of my work day was going to be determined by the daycare center hours. The more complex the situation got, the more we realized that it was time to really think outside the box for solutions. Could It have been done, Yes. It was all about our quality/quantity of life. There is no exact formula or scale for that kind of equation.



When I first told a co-worker, I was feeling that social pressure of failure. I was feeling like I had failed as a woman. You know the "Woman Can do it all" discussion we had a few months ago. I was reminded that other women work and place their children in daycare all the time and live complete, fulfilled and balanced life. I was told that it hurts at first but it gets better with time. I completely agree, some women do work and have children and feel very balanced and complete. I cannot say this for sure because I did not actually do it, but I did not foresee it "getting better with time"for me. I told E that for me, I think it would get worse with time. I read a great post recently about not judging women and their choices. It was written so beautifully. I just know that I want a life that I can enjoy and be happy with. I have a hard time with wanting approval from friends/family and it is hard to deal with when I know specifically that some think I have chosen the lazy, easy, cowardly, unpopular approach to life. I hear thoughts of "she brings such problems on herself" ...... I do not think that I chose the easy, cowardly, lazy approach. I think I did what needed to be done. I am still learning that lesson that you are suppose to understand in school. Self Esteem and Needing approval are always lingering in all places.

11 comments:

Photogrl said...

Look at how strong MT is...and he's so cute! Glad to hear he's finally accepted the lvl 2 nipple.

"I know specifically that some think I have chosen the lazy, easy, cowardly, unpopular approach to life.", you wrote. I say forget them!

How can chosing to stay home as a mom and working on your marriage = lazy? I'm a working mom, but I have SO much respect for moms who chose the route of staying home. I think it's much harder than what I do. There are no breaks, and you are doing what's right for your family. If M. and I couldn't have worked out our schedules to equal very little daycare when Miss O. was little, I would have done the same thing.

I've rambled on now, but Farah, you ROCK! Don't let anyone make you feel any different ;)

((HUGS))

Amanda said...

You chose what works best for you and your family. I know it was a hard decision for you to make. You're definitely not lazy, though. Especially with MT teething and being such a headstrong little guy. He's going to make you work hard! ;-)

Look at him!!!! I had to show Mr. W his precious pictures. I also had to brag on your little man. How old was he in the video of him holding onto the rope on the table? That little guy wants to walk!!

Oh yeah, and I second Photogrl's last statment!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I think the most important thing to remember is that it isn't a permanent situation. You can leave and stay home and then decide that you want to try this or that. And, at the same time, you could have stayed at work and it wouldn't have been permanent either. I think it helps to look at it as just a now rather than a permanent state.

I'm proud of you for taking steps towards happiness and peace.

Geohde said...

Oh MY. It seems like only yesterday you got your BFP. He's STANDING!!!!

xx

J

Cibele said...

how old is MT? I can't believe that he is working on a molar already. He is so strong...and gorgeous! you are great job

Hopeful Terri said...

Farah,
Congrats on your decision not to continue working. I know it is hard. I am struggling with it now. I plan on going back part time starting the 23rd, but am second guessing myself now.
Your little man is so adorable. I wish you the best of luck with the molars. I am having a hard time just with the plan ole 2 front teeth.

Barb said...

Good for you sweetie!!

He is so adorable and big! He looks soooooo much like E.

Barb said...

p.s. I can see you in him too though. :)

AJ's mommy said...

I am so glad the level 2 is helping.

As far as your decision... you need to do what is right for you and your family and it sounds like you did just that. I would LOVE to stay home with AJ everyday and if anyone ever called me lazy for it.. I would have a few choice words for them. We are trying to set things up now so that eventually here in the next year or so I can work at least just part time. So I think your decision is awesome and don't feel bad for it for one minute.

OHN said...

Hi..I found you from Cibele's blog and just wanted to add my 2 cents....when our first son came along, we had waited 8 years. Because we adopted I didn't get paid time off (no sick leave but was allowed to use my vacation time). About 2 weeks before I was scheduled to go back (me working days, husband working afternoons so we would never see each other except when we were snoring). Anyway, I was rocking our baby and just started to cry. I couldn't imagine leaving him after we had waited so long for him.

When I told husband, he looked at me and said "why don't you quit?" I almost dropped the baby and told him we would certainly starve without my income.

Fast forward...that baby is now in college, I did quit, found things to do working from home and I never regretted quitting for even one minute.

You have to follow your heart.

seussgirl said...

Doing "what needs to be done" is hardly ever the easy way out! Don't let people make you second-guess what you think was best for your family - they can't know the answers you've struggled for.

And he's still getting cuter - that little stinker! I'm sorry about the teething, but maybe he's just getting it all out of the way at once?