Sunday, February 8, 2009

Ok so - This F.aceboo.k epidemic ... Be my Friend, Add a friend, Search for friends ..yadda yadda ...

I spend unnecessary time wasting thoughts and stressing over who to ask to be my friend and who not to ask. I have read a few post about this topic. If someone asks to be my friend, I Always Friend them. I like to be friended, (did I make this word up) Who doesn't?

Going back to the situation, Of course, the core me is still the same person I have always been. That has not changed, but I am like a Topiary tree. I am always being reshaped and pruned by life's journeys. Which does make me have different views on life than I had when I was, let's say 16.

I have always had a hard time keeping friends. This problem goes waaaaaaay back. Some I know why they decided to no longer be my friends or why we stopped hanging out. Others I have no idea what happened. Lost touch, Lost interest .... Then sometimes, A friendship has a time and place and that season was over.

My husband went out of town this weekend, Left me at home with probably the fussiest MT we have ever had. Yes teething. Honestly, I am tired of hearing myself say the word teething. I am tired of all things that are teething. It seems we are having it out with this topic. It's not like you can tell an almost 8 month old to grow a pair, put on big boy boxers and suck it up. This is the way it work's MT, Sorry If you don't like it.. Deal ..... These were my exact thoughts at 4:30 am Sunday morning. Until I rubbed my eyes and saw/heard/realized how much pain he is in and that his crying was not part of my dream.

Oh wait back to the point ..... With Hubby out of town, I had idle time on the laptop. I played around and learned some functions of fa.cebo.ok. I found old friends and wanted to friend them, but then wonder rolls in. wonder why we stopped talking, Maybe I shouldn't Friend them, If they wanted to be my friend, they would have asked, Or maybe they are like me, waiting to be asked ..... UGH really .. See I had too much alone time this weekend. But seriously, At the age I am at, should I REALLY have these thoughts? Do they ever go away?

This application allows me to do some serious damage to my already low self esteem some times. When I first got on there a few months ago I friended a few people. I recently went to their profile and realized they patronized me for a day or two, then deleted me off their friend list. I laugh, only because It makes me too nervous to think otherwise.

I have written all that to ask, Do you have fa.cebook? Do you think about who you friend/not friend? Do you ask people to be your friend? Does it dredge up self esteem issues that you thought you worked through and was in the past? Does it spark your curiosity to snoop?

12 comments:

Dugi said...

Pls read my last post on facebook dramas. oh dear. its all just too crazy for our age huh? on facebook i feel like a 14yr old with the same insecurities. it sux that fb is quite effective in keeping in touch n sharing photos etc. hmm.
sorry to hear abt MT's teething issues. my lil one is having the same. I swear i can't wait to not talk abt teething anymore. x

Heather said...

I have a love/hate relationship with the internet and FB just feeds into that completely. UGH.

Rebecca said...

I do Facebook (freaking addictive) and I love it. I don't friend everyone, but I do friend old "friends." I want to know what they're up to and how they look (yes, how they look). I don't give a shit if they still want to be my friend b/c I have enough friends...I just want to know how they're doing and look at their pictures. Horrible, right? I'm trying not to get sucked into the drama...

AJ's mommy said...

faceboo* is interesting... I am sure that some people have ignored my requests... but I don't have time to remember who they were! I do find it addicting though which is scary, because I should probably be spending my efforts somewhere else!

Adriane said...

Ugh, FB! Yes, I do deliberate over who to friend. And I do not accept all friend invites. That's because I get some weird ones from Turkey and India. Not sure how/why.

It is super addictive. BTW, I would have my feelings hurt if someone removed me from their friends list, too. That's just ridiculous. FB does spark me to snoop, and it does bring up old issues/feelings I thought I had left behind.

I try to tell myself that 6 months ago (before I was on FB) I wasn't thinking about 90% of the people on my "friends" list and just because the information age allows us to know everything, doesn't mean we need to. Know what I mean? I think the term "friend" is quite loose on FB and I try to remind myself of that. For some it means more than others.

Polka Dot said...

I have facebook and use it mainly to keep up with people I haven't seen or talked to in years (think way back to HS a whopping 20 years ago), a couple family members, and a random current friend here and there.

And this is how I look at it ...

If I didn't talk to the person or that person didn't talk to me in HS, I'm not friending them. Period. If I don't maintain some sort of friendship with a current friend (like a couple of ex-coworkers), then I'm either not friending them or I'm un-friending them. (that sounds super bitchy, I know)

I mean - I've gotten invites from people I went to school with simply because I went to school with them. I've no frickin clue who they are! So no ... those I didn't accept.

But I've also gotten invites from people I had no idea were on facebook and I was super excited to reconnect with them.

So ...

All that to say - send them an invite if you want. Maybe they don't know you're on (such as you're on under your married name & they only know your maiden) and will be super excited to reconnect.

And if they aren't? Eh ... fuck 'em. You're awesome and definitely don't need their friend invite / acceptance to prove it.

Amanda said...

Yes, Yes, Sometimes, Oh boy YES, and a little.

I have fa.cebook, I think about who to friend or not to friend, I'm a little leary about who I friend (but if people ask me I always add them), I hesitate to ask so many people that I used to know or kind of know now because I'm so afriad of rejection or of someone going "Amanda who?", and I'm always a little curious what the old flames are up to!

I bet you can't wait for the day when drool is only present because the yummiest of foods is being served. ;-)

Rachel Inbar said...

I FB and I friend people. If they accept, I'm happy and if not, I don't care... I really am curious and want to catch up with people I knew long ago... I love looking at other people's pictures and reading their comments, status, etc.

I accept anyone I know.

Nurse Lochia said...

I admit, I am a facebook addict. But, man, oh man do I think about who to friend. I really don't add friends myself, I wait and confirm people as friends when they add me. I even added someone who I wasn't sure I knew but figured I must because they added me! But, I love getting in touch with people that I haven't seen in years.

RoseAnn said...

I also have face.book issues.

Most of my friends are online people that I met recently but I also have a fair representation of high school classmates.

It's been a nice way to get reacquainted with some people but others obviously served their purpose and we fell apart for a reason.

Heather said...

Yesterday I asked to be a friend of my sorority sister, we were in the same family. I joined the semester after her. She messaged me that she didn't know me. I often feel that I'm forgettable and this just reaffirms that.

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