Friday, September 11, 2009

Heavy Hearted

I have mentioned my mother on this blog quite a few times. Menopause has been very unkind to her. Recap briefly - they thought she had a minor stroke over 3 yrs ago, numerous tests, dr's appointments over a long period, I took 3 months of leave from my job over 3 yrs ago at hte beginning to assist my dad in the care of my mom .... She became a lady who completely changed, overnight. It's hard to describe ...... Long story short they think they finally had a diagnosis/rehab plan. Me.nopausal I.nduced (Hormonal) Bi-po.lar Di.sor.der. They tried a few different medications .... It gets better, then it gets worse, then there is med dose changing and waiting ... then it gets better then it gets worse, then there is med dose changing ...... It's a cycle .... And it's another one of those trial and errors that takes time, A Wait and see Game ... Many of us now about the Wait and See game of a cycle and the Trial and Error of Meds.

Things got ok this summer, never normal, But Ok is good .... Then School started for her and the first few weeks were not that bad, Then the students came .... The Anxiety set in and she was in panic mode. We would try to talk to her to see if there was something we could do to help her .... She doesn't talk .... She hasn't said more than 1000 words in the past 3 yrs. She sits in silence in a room filled with family/friends .. and just sits... She is blank, Numb, Empty, Tired, Struggling and Will not ask for help, or Does not ask for help, or Just plain has no idea what to do ..... Yesterday, she hit a very bad low and things happened and My Dad decided that she needs to just be done with teaching. .... I talked to my dad today and asked how things were going, My dad says she just keeps repeating how she has failed .. and how she can not find her way .. and how she is so depressed. She does not want to see Me or MT today .. .. she does not want to see anyone today ...... So I am at home researching new options of treatments, New Facilities, New Procedures, .. My Dad is out trying to secure a job with insurance, he is a self employed contractor. My mother carried the insurance ... Things are sticky .. We will figure this out, We always do, Life is what happens while you are planning ...

As I started off thinking about where I was eight yrs ago today on September 11. . I am now remembering my mother and the woman she was 8 yrs ago ..... ... The Country we lived in and how it may not all be directly connected, Indirectly - Life happens and People need to be appreciated ... Because in a Blink of a Eye - things can change drastically.

With all of that said, Does anyone have any experience or information on detox's through IV's?

24 comments:

Suzy said...

so sorry your family is gong through such a difficult time. it is so important to appreciate every moment isn't it!

Janna said...

I'm so sorry you mom is having to deal with all this. You are being a wonderful daughter and support for both your mom and your dad! I will keep you all in my prayers!!!

Dreamer4agift said...

(((hugs))) What a difficult thing to go through, on everyone's part. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Heather said...

Yes, I can understand the horror of the waiting and trial and error and how much hormones SUCK!

It is so draining and takes forever. My heart aches for your family. I hope they find the right combination for her.

HereWeGoAJen said...

I'm sorry, Farah. It's hard to watch family members suffer.

Demara said...

So many people have said that they think my mom is bipolar too...but I'm thinking hoping that menopause has helped that!

Then knowing it's genetic I ask my husband..do you think I'm bipolar? I've been depressed lately...hehe...he said NO ABSOLUTELY NOT!

but secretly I think I am during my period/pms time! especially when we're TTC and nothings happen...or when your husband finds it difficult to touch you...to 'be' with you...I hate this time in our life right now ):

My Reality said...

I hope things get sorted out with your mom soon. It is so difficult to deal with this stuff going on. Hopefully, the docs can find the right combination for your mom and she can get to feeling better.

Courtney said...

Farah, I'm sorry that you are having to bear this burden. Your mother is very lucky to have such a loving daughter who is so invested in her well-being.

Barb said...

Love you Farah.
xo

Alex said...

I have no advice but I'm really sorry you're all going through this right now.

Take care of yourself.

Christy said...

It's so hard when our parents have health issues that impact the whole family. And then, much as we want to help, there just really isn't enough that we can do. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this right now. I know it isn't easy. I struggle with the same thing here, since my dad's accident, so I get where you are coming from. Plus, it's really hard to take care of parents when you have a baby to take care of too. I hope that things ease up for you soon.

Meghan said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I hope you find a plan that works for all of you.

Delenn said...

So sorry your family is dealing with this. Depression is a hard thing. I am glad your mom has you and your dad working on this.

uncomplicateme said...

So sorry sweetie. She's lucky to be surrounded by so much love and support. I wish I had the answers for you but I'm praying you get the ones you need. xo

Cibele said...

I ma so sorry about your mother. I hope that she can find the help that she needs. You are right ,in a Blink of a Eye - things can change drastically. My won experiences testifies to that

Katie said...

Oh, I am sorry, Sweetheart. This is so tough. I am thinking of you and praying for your family.

One of my really good friends did the IV detox. I am not going to lie, she said it was the worst days of her life. And there is a lot of recovery to do in the days, weeks, and months to follow (therapy, more detox meds, etc.), but she has been in good shape for a couple of years now and believes it is the best thing that she ever did.

Photogrl said...

Oh, Farah...I'm sorry that things aren't going better for you and your family.

Holding you all close in my heart and prayers...

Big, HUGE ((HUGS))!

AJ's mommy said...

Far - I am so so sorry. This sounds so difficult and I know this has to be so hard on you. You are a awesome daughter though and are being so strong for them. Hang in there and I am always here to vent.

T-Mommy said...

I am sorry you are going through this, and I feel for your mom, going through meno.pause is no fun at all!

I really hope things get easier ;)

hope548 said...

It's so hard to see our parents in poor health or having difficulty. I'm sorry you're all having to go through this and I hope that something can be done to help the situation.

Jen said...

Farah, you have more than your share of stresses going on right now. You are doing a great job raising little MT and doing a great job helping your mom and dad through this change. You are all in my prayers.

Adriane said...

I completely missed this post. I am so very sorry about your Mom. You have a lot on your mental plate right now - I really hope you are hanging in there.

JJ said...

What a supportive daughter you are--and I am praying for your mom. (hugs)

sara said...

I'm so sorry Farah. This has got to be so difficult to go through. Know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))