Monday, October 27, 2008

Why do I always feel I have to get on my soap box about this...

It has been relatively cool here lately. I am loving it. I just love the fall season. I think because it starts to cool off and we can enjoy being outside without sweating to death.

So, we tried cereal for 4 consecutive days. He seemed to enjoy it the first day because it was new, slurped it all down … the second day showed very little interest … third day no interest at all … fourth day, would not eat any of it. I was trying to make it alittle thicker the other days because the first day it was like liquidy and super messy. He liked that best ..but by adding cereal in our day, we managed to have some really off/abnormal days. He was pretty miserable. It seemed to be causing him some stomach discomfort, definitely constipated, Did not have a bowel movement until Sunday night - which seemed alleviate the fussiness/discomfort ... but that was 3 days w/o a bowel movement. He has been so regular until then ..every day around 10 am ish until introducing solids .....So we will put the cereal away and maybe try again at 5 months. I am just not sure his little stomach was ready for it ... or maybe this is normal..maybe there needs to be a built up tolerance that happens as you introduce it and it just gets better with time .. .. I am unsure. All I know is taking cereal out of our day yesterday gave us a MUCH better day.



I carved a pumpkin yesterday from the pumpkin patch we visited in GA. I haven't done that in years. The last time I think I did that was in college and my then boyfriend, now husband and I got into the biggest, nastiest pumpkin fight. He started it .. (i think) .. All I know is that it is extremely hard to get pumpkin guts out of your hair .... We made MT pose by my pumkpin
DSC_0080Frightened:
DSC_0105

Now Happy:
DSC_0106c

On another note - It has been almost 18 weeks and my swing batteries are just now starting to die. Classical music on its last leg ... brings out a whole new sound

Speaking of classical music on its' last leg (from our swing) .. MT naps in his swing now .. He went back and forth on liking and disliking the swing. We are in a phase of liking it at the moment. It may change but for now, I get a good 1.5 - 2 hour nap/down time out of him in the swing. I know and have been told by MANY unapproving parents,grandparents, naysayers, anon commenter's, etc .. and I just don't really care or understand their concerns. I have received many unapproving looks by many things that I am choosing to do and some days it beats me down, other days, I don't get a crap .... Speaking of things that beat me down, I hate the word Schedule with a passion now for sure. I use the word pattern, and We adhere to that pattern most days but I like flexibility ... I have found myself becoming too neurotic and anxiety driven if I watch the clock too closely. I can have a full fledged silent panic attack along with other frustrations when clock watching and demanding expectations from MT. I find it be peaceful and relaxing for me to just go with the flow, watch for cues instead of "telling the 4 month old who is in control" ... Yes, I have been told that . I need to tell him who is boss, set the record straight now. I am unsure how much of a record I can set straight since only one of us speaks/understands the english language. I am trying to enforce cause/effect relationships right now. I do not wish to wrestle or torture someone who is just trying to understand the new surroundings .. Maybe that makes me a bit lax in my parenting style... maybe that makes me not a great structuralist for now .. Maybe we will both just figure it out as we go ...I am sure there will be mistakes, and I am sure there will be "i told you so's".. I wish there would not be i told you so's, but it seems that people are really competitive and determined to be "right" when raising children/grandchildren/students

Can you tell I am frustrating with the "right" way to parent ..... Why would you think there is only one Right way to parent .. aren't all people different? I know at many points in my life, I did not embrace differences. It seems that the general population have decided that all babies are the same and should all be raised the same ...I get so frustrated, beat down, discouraged and upset over this .. This bothers me so, because some days I am just coasting along and other days I am just surviving. I still do not have the confidence I need apparently .. but Blogging as really allowed me to embrace the different spices that life has to offer .... Embrace differences, judge less, gossip not

18 comments:

Amanda said...

I think you're doing a wonderful job! Screw the naysayers and negative people. A pattern sounds good to me. Leaving room for flexibility sounds great!

Sorry the cereal hasn't quite worked out. Sounds like a good plan to try again next month.

I love the pumpkin!!! And those picutres are too cute...awwwww!!!

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

He is such a cutie!!!

There is no right or wrong way. I think you're doing fabulously! :) ((HUGS))

Elle Charlie said...

There is no right way, because there is no blueprint baby. You know your child, and you have to figure out what works for you both based on that - you're doing awesome! Great pumpkin by the way! And the pumpkin fight memory sounds very romantic (not sure if it actually was, but it sounds that way!).

seussgirl said...

I say do what works for you and allows you to survive this first year! fun pumpkin. :)

Jen said...

I think you are doing great! MT is thriving and happy. That's all the proof you need.

Shelby said...

What really threw me, is that I had expectations that everything would go the same way for my son as they did for my daughter. Yet everything is so different, and I've had to completely adjust my feelings on what was right to make it more what worked well for him. There really is no right or wrong, and as long as your little guy is thriving and happy (which he is!!), you're golden.

Courtney said...

Farah - no matter what happens, have confidence in the fact that your little one is thriving and benefiting from all of your efforts (regardless of what other people think about them). MT is simply adorable!

My_Herstory said...

Ya know, I have to say... David and I have discussed the amount of advice and such that we've already been given. I haven't even had my baby yet and I'm already starting to feel a little overwhelmed with it all... can I not just experience it for myself and kinda go by trial and error to learn? Every baby is different right? Not that I mind getting some great advice though!
MT looks great, healthy and happy, what you're doing seems to be working well for him and you, so stick with it! :)
Cute photo's btw!! :):)

AJ's mommy said...

Oh I love this post! I was getting freaked out that everyone kept stressing to me that we need a schedule. I was feeling like I was being too lax as well.. but after reading your post at least I know I am not the only one! Thank you so much for making me feel better....

I love the pic's....

AJ's mommy said...

oh and by the way... I think you are doing a wonderful job!!!!

A New Beginning said...

My mom, MIL, people at work, everybody has their own opinions on how they raise a baby. I tell them that it was MANY years ago when they did this and now it is my turn, and I will do it how I want to. Regardless of their feelings, thoughts, and opinions.

You are doing what is right for you all and that is what is important. MT is going to grow up to be wonderful no matter what you do, b/c he has 2 loving parents, and a wonderful extended family.

Also, he has gotten sooo big!

A New Beginning said...

One other thing, I read that rice cereal can cause constipation. That is the one reason I am hesitant to start it at all, b/c our little one has a hard enough time right now.

christina(apronstrings) said...

wait, you were in GA!>!!>!>!
: )
the right way to parent is the way you are. you have a happy healthy dry and feed baby. pat yourself on the back and ignore asshats. wait., that's going to be my new model.
p.s. ,my mom told me to ignore all the assive "afterall you laid down on the table and had that baby."

Janna said...

As I type my daughter is sleeping in her swing. I put her in it b/c she slept for a whole 10 minutes in her bed. Go with what works and screw the critics!! You're doing a fantastic job!!!

Katie said...

No judgment here. In fact, you are one of my mom heroes. MT is thriving and happy, and that is what counts. When I am having a bad day, I always click on your blog, Farah-dear. You inspire me and give me hope!

Kate said...

It sounds like you are doing all the right things, including giving your little one all the love in the world!

Photogrl said...

Don't let anyone get you down!

Look at MT...he's so happy and getting big. That's all that matters.

You are doing great, Mama!

Sarah1978 said...

Hi, I found your blog today via my good friend Courtney... you know her I think. Anyway, I read all up about your journey so far. And 1 - congrats on little MT (funny nickname btw!). I am sad b/c I can't see any of your pics as my stupid work computer restricts me. I'm sure he's so cute though.

And although I've wanted to comment on many many of your older posts about bf'ing, scheduling, and other assorted parenting ?s you've brought up. This one I must say... opinions are like [ahem] butt holes. everyone has one. ha ha! I say DO WHATEVER works for you! I beat myself up for weeks over letting my lil one sleep in the swing. One school of thought says never use a prop to let the babe sleep. Uh, excuse me? If he's sleeping, what's the problem?? And btw, he's now 14 months and sleeping in the swing didn't harm him one little bit! He has slept all night since he was 7 weeks old. So, forget the critics, do what works I say. :)

Also, I think you're right about the cereal. We had trouble w/it at first b/c he just wasn't ready. We ended up holding off until he was 6 months. You can just tell when your babe needs more to fill up his tummy. For me it was when he got hungrier sooner between feedings and would eat like 10 oz of milk/formula at a time. Hello... mommas don't make that much. Plus, he liked oatmeal better than rice at first. Maybe try that.

Love your blog. Keep up the good job with MT. :)