Sunday, October 12, 2008

Photo down memory lane

I was tagged by Elle Charlie to write about a random photo.

Photobucket


Funny thing is that I have been contemplating posting this picture for quite some time now. This tag gave me the courage I needed. This photo was taken 3 yrs ago today actually. It was at my cousin's little girls 1 yr old birthday party. She tagged me in it on m.yspa.ce a few months ago. When I saw that photo and nearly croaked. I was in the last few weeks of this pregnancy. That is NEVER a good time to find an absolutely horrible picture of yourself. I was so ashamed of this picture that I for the longest time refused to accept the tag. I mean seriously, I am not sure there could be a more unflattering picture of myself hot, sweaty, and hugely LARGE at the park in Florida in Sept. (it's still smoldering hot in fl)

When this photo was taken. I was in a BAD BAD BAD place. This was the year that my mother's health became a family affair. Jan - March of that year, I had taken off of work to stay home with my mother to help out my dad so he could work. This was just the beginning of a long road we were not prepared for, or had any idea how far this road would be .. It was starting to take a toll on allof us. I had been TTC for 4 years. My husband was in a not-so-great job .. We were living in a not-so-great apartment. What I am saying is, I was majorly depressed and comfort eating like no bodies business. I am not trying to make excuses, I am trying to make a point. It was a very dark time in my life, and I was trying to hide it most days ....

Following with the trip down memory lane and perspectives (and timing), I (once again) went to my cousin's little girls 3rd birthday today.

This time last year, a few days before her 2nd birthday party, I was informed that I had failed my second IUI. The RE office's had comfirmed that I had not ovulated. I was so upset over this. Two months of a high amount of injectibles to help make me ovulate and no results of ovulations even. I was sicker than a dog the day of her 2nd birthday party. I thought I had the flu and a tooth ache. A week later I found out that I was not sick with the flu ..It was something else .. It was a positive pregnancy test.

Today I took My 4 month old baby boy to her 3rd birthday. I know this may seem cheesy and dumb - but in my little world, this meant the world to me. Progress was made. A since of acheivement was reached and I was loving every minute of it sweating out in the FL Sun
DSC_0124

22 comments:

Elle Charlie said...

Wow, I am really touched by your story and how far you traveled on your journey to get the thing you wanted most in your life - your beautiful baby boy. I am so glad you can look back on that dark time and that awful day and remember that it was actually, unbeknownst to you, the very beginning of your wonderful adventure.

Thanks for participating in the tag - I'm so glad you posted this. I'm glad you felt that you were ready to.

Kim said...

Don't even worry about it.. you look FAB now and you have the most gorgeous baby ever. Nothing else matters. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do to deal with life. 99% of the pictures of me absolutely suck.

A New Beginning said...

I think this shows how much confidence you do have in yourself to be able to post this picture and talk about it. You look absolutely wonderful now and have the cutest baby. I love the party hat!

Geohde said...

You've come such a long way, Farah.

xx

J

Jen said...

Perfect photos! I am so happy that you could take MT to that party too.

See you later!

Kate said...

Sometimes you need that kind of thing to help you see how far you've traveled.

Jen said...

Farah, I'm so glad you are in a wonderful place right now. We have all been in bad places and we all have pictures that we don't like. It's a great feeling to look back on a bad time and know that you have gotten past it. It's also a good lesson for those who are in the rotten place, that with time, hope and love, many new great things can happen.

Mel said...

You are amazing and you have done so many amazing things in the past year. I am so proud of you and so happy for you. That little MT is so cute, it should be illegal.
*hugs*

Sugar and Ice said...

I know this wasn't the point of this post, but it really bugs me when people post not-so-great pictures of other people on their My.Space/Fa.cebook pages. All the pictures of themselves will be great, and then they'll post these goony pictures of other people. My brother in law did that to me...posted a picture of me from a LG's first Christmas...I looked like I'd just rolled out of a coffin. It was obviously not a good picture, yet he posted it anyway, and I can't do a thing abou it, lol.

Anyway, I'm sure you see this picture as way worse than it actually is, but I do see your point...you weren't in a good place then and the picture reflects that...and now you're in this amazing place and the new pic of your baby boy is perfect evidence of that.

Artblog said...

I agree with the others, you've come along way and I think you look great and you're baby boy is just gorgeous, that's all that counts :)

xxxxxxx

Cibele said...

a very sweet post my friend and I am so glad to see you in a happier place. Your boy is just too precious and cute. Reading this gives me hope that time can make things better.

AllieQB said...

I'm proud of you for posting. Your honesty is always so refreshing.

Malloryn said...

It is amazing to see how far you've come in this journey. I'm glad that you're in a much better place now... you've worked hard to get here. Your baby boy is adorable and so loved. :)

My_Herstory said...

Awww. I can totally understand what that would have meant to you. What a cutey!

Jill, Mommy of Tanner and Josie, our Clomid baby. :o) said...

You will always be a cutie to me!!!

Now have a girl so I can send you some bows! HA! :o)

Polka Dot said...

It's amazing what we go through, isn't it?

You've done such a wonderful job in those 3 years and I know you've probably changed in more ways than you ever thought possible.

And I'm glad this year was so very different from back then.

Amanda said...

This makes me want to cry. I'm so amazed at the physical and emotional changes you've gone through since we first started talking. You are (and were) beautiful inside and out!

Isn't it amazing how things can change in a year?

Love the pic of the little one with the party hat! So cute!

Marcy "meg" said...

So glad you are in a much better place, you deserve it!

Rachel Inbar said...

He is so totally cute (and I LOVE happy endings :-))

Hilary (Maya Papaya) said...

I love it.

What a long, strange trip it's been, huh? SO happy for you hon.

Choicemumtobe said...

Dropping by from the Creme :)

Just wanted to acknowledge your bravery and wisdom. The dark places we all visit are often places we want to leave behind and never ever ever revisit - privately or publicly. That you're able to acknowledge and even embrace the darker moments of your life - especially now that you've achieved your dream - shows such an amazing strength. Truly inspiring.

itsazooaroundhere said...

I wanted to visit your site from Creme de la Creme, because we can all relate to being in a bad place. It is truly inspiring to see both of your photos - hopefully one day I'll have the "after".

Congratulations and Happy New Year.

Betsy