Wednesday, February 27, 2008

These are the Days of Our Live ..

The sore throat/achy feeling is back, But I am at work for now.. this is not a good feeling ...

(pre-paring for baby talk) skip to the blue to avoid most of it

Daycare was not that bad- we only have 5 in our area for options. I already narrowed it down to 2 – we went, we visited and we picked. It seems very odd to be discussion daycare needs for an unborn child. I am not comfortable with that scenario at all. But I did want I had to because there are waiting lists … yes our unborn baby is holding a spot for Dec. 08. I am not sure how thrilled I am about that idea at ALL. The daycare we picked is close to our house, and it was the best option for us for now. We put down our non-refundable deposit. I have to say that after delivering this check, I got in the car and cried. Yes the daycare was great, but it just didn’t seem right. E or I have never been in daycare. SO this is all new for us. I am SURE that there is absolutely nothing wrong with day cares. We just wouldn’t know. His aunt and grandmother watched him. My mom was a SAHM after I was born until my sister started kindergarten. Even then, she only was a part time special-education teacher and did not go back full time teaching until my sister was in 4th grade. So she was home with us in the afternoons and every summer. I am glad that we do have options. Don’t get me wrong, But if I end up losing the deposit, it won’t be any sweat off my back …

As for my rings, I guess I should take them off. They are not painful nor stuck – but I do not want that to happen and have to have it cut off or something like I have seen or read about

After the daycare experience – we went to Ba.bi.es are them and finished up our registry for now. And I got a baby bag.(look here - it ataches to the stroller too) I am waiting for the bedding to come in. When we see the bedding, we will pick out a crib, changing table and any other pieces of furniture we possible will need. I have been surfing through Cr.ai.gsli.st. People put baby products on there for free or really inexpensive!! I found a free swing where my parents live ( a few miles up the road), I sent my dad went to pick it up this morning, but it wasn’t where the person told me it would be – so I don’t know what happened there – but no one is out money - I will ask my dad to drive by this afternoon again.

On the SMil stroller/car seat front– she emailed me again and invited us to E’s fathers and her house(s) with pictures. I told E, I really feel weird about that – I would love to take Mini up there but I would feel WAY more comfortable for the first meeting to be not at their house. E’s aunt has taken E under her wing and has a house there and that is where we normally stay. I would feel more comfortable planning on staying at Aunts’ house until I have a chance to actually meet E’s Father.SMil. It just seems weird and I am leery of weirdness – plus with a new baby and knowing how much “stuff” is required, and the fact that his SMil and Father have never spoken to me since the night they told E getting married (to anyone) at his young age (of 26) was the biggest mistake of his life. It wasn’t about me – it was about marriage- That was the night I wish I could do over again – ya know, I assume other people have those. It is not my proudest moment. I was tired of the SMil being so opinionated and rude to a person that she was jealous over in the first place. (E is his dad’s only child and SMIL was highly jealous of the way E’s father felt towards E – she resented it and found a way to spoil/manipulate situations. E needed money for college books, tuition. Rent, you name it, They wouldn’t send him money or pay the bills- they would tell him to get a better or more jobs) but they would offer to send him plane tickets or an x.b.ox or new clothes. But never money to help pay bills. (these are just a few scenarios) So since that monumental night, these are the first time we have ever communicated. I am glad it’s through emails, but still feel’s weird. I know it is all water under a bridge or I assume it is, I am fine forgetting and all that but it just feels uncomfortable.

She asked if they could wait to get the stroller until closer to my due date and then ship it down here unless I saw reason for it to be bought sooner. I haven’t responded yet. But I don’t really care how she does it, I mean they are buying a gift they can send it whenever they want to. I won’t need the stroller really until after Min is here – I will need the car seat before we go to the hospital – I assume she knows that – but we have PLENTY of time. I told eric to email her back - but he said for me to keep up the "good work" argggg......

Never a dull moment around here …

15 comments:

Marcy "meg" said...

At least you got the daycare thing done and out of the way... one thing you can mark off your list!

Chas said...

I worked at several daycares during my college days, and they're not all bad. I preferred Lila being in an in-home babysitter situation, but that was b/c I had great recommendations from her. I think sending your baby off t stay with someone else all day is hard for everyone no matter what the situation.

The things with your FIL and SMIL is strange. To email you and act like nothing every happened...it's just weird. Oh, and why is 26 SO YOUNG?? I was 22 when I got married, and we've done just fine.

tracey said...

I've been out of comission for awhile but checking in to make sure all is well. Sorry about the sore throat, but glad to hear overall things are good. Still praying for you.

Baby Deux! said...

LOVE THE BAG!!!

As for daycares, looking back, I wish "Buddy" would have gone. He loves kids and I actually feel bad that he doesn't go.

As for the SMIL...I agree with E...keep up the good work! Karma, sister! :o)

waitinginline said...

Just because I'm the bad person that I am...I wish I had the money to buy the stroller and send it to you just so she would be too late. :-P

Again, I'll say it, you're a bigger person than I am. Good for you!!!

Love the bag! Grats on the daycare, too! I know it had to be a really hard choice to make, but at least it's done.

Nurse Lochia said...

It's hard trying to find someone/daycare that you feel is good enough to take care of your baby. I struggled before my 1st was born, but it turned out to be a good thing. Thd kids love going, they teach them things, and yeah, they got sick a few times, but if they hadn't gone to daycare, they would have gotten sick when they went to kindergarten. And really, they didn't get sick much at all.

Topcat said...

Ooooh - I'm suss of your sMILs and FILs motives ... only coz I can relate so much!!

Loving that bag :)

xox

Kathy V said...

Maybe you can gently remind her about the car seat need ahead of time but tell her she still has time. As far as visiting goes. Do what feels right for you and E. If that means staying at the aunt's house and visiting others during the day. You don't have to give a reason. If they can't get over it and they are mad then it just reinforces you feelings and you wouldn't want to put Mini in that situation anyway.

I am sure it is tough to leave your kids during the day. Even when it is family watching them, it is still your child and you and to leave them. Glad you found a daycare that you liked.

Jendeis said...

Good on ya for getting the daycare thing out of the way. I feel similarly as my mom was SAH after I was born, and was always there. I guess it's just something that each family has to adjust to. Though my mother stayed at home, she has stressed to me the importance of having a job and keeping up with it despite having kids (regrets, I guess). My mentor says that she is a better mother because she works, so there's another opinion out there for you.

As for SMIL, I'd just repeat what you wrote in the first email, that you're so grateful that they would like to get a gift and however they would like to send it is up to them. In terms of staying with them or E's aunt, you could just say, oh, I'm sorry, but we already made plans to stay with E's aunt and we'll catch up with you when we're there. Something like that.

P.S. Bag is soooooo cute! Love it!

alison said...

At our wedding reception, my MIL was talking to my husband about getting on her friend's (who is a daycare provider) waiting list because at that point (Oct 2006) her waiting list was out until like Jan 2010. First, my MIL is crazy and I thought it was incredibly rude and presumptuious to ask that AT OUR RECEPTION. Secondly, at that point 2010 was ages away and who knew where we would be. Needless to say, it didn't happen.

But I'm glad for you that you at least have something reserved. Maybe you won't need to use it, but it's semi-peace of mind for now.

butterflyanla said...

You know I could so make you that bag for less than 50 bucks ;) It does look very handy. Glad the stroller thing is wrking itself out. I would reply and tell her that you could wait on the stroller, but you would like the seat by month 7 since you never know what might happen and you will need it to Bring mini home. I think you should just not comment to the home stay thing. At this point I think you guys are in a fragile state relationship wise and saying anything could mess it up. They could get their feelings hurt and feel insulted if you say now that you want to stay at teh aunts house. Just wait.Glad daycare went well and mini has a spot.

Barb said...

You have every right in the world to feel uncomfortable. And 26?? too young???

I love how you refer to stores and brand names. It's too cute. Fun bloggy quirk. Good job.

As for daycare, even though I don't have a child, I've felt that awful pull. Neither of us was ever in daycare either. We always had family around. It feels horrible to possibly leave our infant with strangers. I know people do it all the time, but MAN I wish I could afford to work part time or take a lot of time off from work. :(

I know how you feel. That being said.. your baby will be ok. :)

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

I would stay wherever you are most comfortable. I know that I would not want to bring a new baby into the home of a person I have never met/barely knew.

It makes sense that you are uncomfortable communicating with her. I think that you should ask your husband to take over - they are his family (and a family that hasn't exactly been welcoming to you!).

Sorry the daycare situation was so stressful.

XOXO

Anonymous said...

after all that u've personally endured *physically/emotionally) to get pregnant n have a baby, u r going to leave it to to a day care to look after it?
dude, i just don't get u.

Courtney said...

You are really moving along over there! Very cute choice for the bag!

I can't wait to see this nursery put together. :)