Monday, February 25, 2008

A Few Changes Around Here

Spell Check is working !! Hurray

I did it, I am sure you have noticed: I updated the name of this blog to reflect my current situation, not to mislead passer- byers. I also added a new shirt to my avatar to reflect my current body image.

p-word and preparing for baby talk – skip to the purple if you do not want to hear about it

This weekend I really found a new level of my comfort zone. I have been able to look at nursery bedding, make a decision and order it. It’s actually very therapeutic and rewarding after all of these years. (I have bought several outfits and find that boy clothes are completely adorable and have fallen in love with plaid and hats …) Mini’s movements are frequent and comforting and refreshing.

I had some reservations about finding out the sex – even after I found out – I told E it kind of felt like deflating a balloon – but after this weekend, I know that is not true at all. It is different knowing the sex. It was a baby before and still is a baby, but now it is My Son, Mini … It has a different feel to it. I don’t know if that makes me sound ridiculous or not – but it's how I feel about it all. In the back of my mind, there is a part of me that wishes I was strong enough to hold on out on knowing – but the fun that I have had this weekend is overshadowing that lil part of my mind.

I ordered
this bedding this weekend. Of Course, I picked out bedding that is only an online purchase; you cannot see it or find it in any of their stores. So, we decided that we would order the 4 piece set to see if we still liked it in person. It should be here in 2 weeks(ish). If we like it, we will proceed in picking out a crib. I went on a stroller hunt this weekend as well. I have picked out an expensive set, so I was trying to find one that was not so expensive – but that’s not happening. Every one I find that I think I like, Has a problem for me: the pattern looks cheap, or the stroller is too heavy, or I’m too picky .. I like the original one I picked out …. Yes I am even high maintenance picking out baby item….

Many have asked about names – we have a few names we like but only one we can agree on thus far. I have found this naming process to be VERY important to me. I do not want to just pick a name that I like; I want my husband to help also. It just seems like such a huge task. This is a name that will shape him and stereotype him and a name that he will be forever called. I need to make sure we review all our options and resources. We tried family names – My mother’s side of the family didn’t do well with names – (think major hillbilly), my dad’s family is just as worse there are just more boys on my dad’s side. E family doesn’t have many good options either … So family names are for the most part out. I like uncommon but not far out there names. I enjoyed growing up with a slightly uncommon name and my husband has a more common name and says that he was always his last name or a number so he also is leaning towards fairly uncommon. Although – His #1 rule – the name spelling can not be creative. So our naming style seems to be classic and traditional... any suggestions?

On a very random and wacky scale: My Step MIL emailed us this weekend. The woman that has nothing nice to say to me and told E that she and his father were writing him out of the family if E married me(E is his dad’s only child and the SMil Doesn’t have any) – a person that NEVER HAS MET ME but thinks I am the worst person on the planet – a women that tore E’s and his fathers relationship to pieces for the past 6 yrs. (I am not innocent in this situation because I lack the ability to keep my mouth shut and told her a few places she could visit that aren't exactly pleasant or suitable places to go) Yes her – she emailed me this weekend. We went to E’s grandmother’s funeral like 3 yrs ago in Wis and flew on a 2 day notice and was not invited to their house at all. Nor did she speak to me or try to get to know me. We flew up a different time to attend a family wedding a yr later – which she still never spoke or acknowledged my existence. I say all of this because all of a sudden – she sent me the nicest email in the world. She is happy for us and knows a baby has needs and wants to purchase an item for us signed Gramma. I asked E what he wanted me to do – his advice wasn’t good – so I emailed her and told her that I started a registry at the babies are them store and that it was a work in progress. That we appreciate their excitement and are glad they are interested in sharing this experience with us. So … there you have it, More family drama. I hope I did the right thing. If they want to buy a gift that is great – If not – that is great also. I would love to be able to leave all the crap behind!


Anonymous said...

The bedding is so adorable!! I love it.

Kudos to you for dealing with the SMil. I hate family drama. Hopefully she's trying to make a peace offering.

Baby Deux! said...

Do you have someone in your family named Bubba or Billy Bob John Wayne? Those are the only hillbilly names I can think of. hee hee hee

The bedding is so cute!

So as for the know my opinions on mine although I have not been as outspoken as you in the past but I have to say your response was quite lovely! GOOD JOB!

Fertilize Me said...

as a matter of fact yes we do have bubba's, John, Wayne, Elroy, Elthridge, Howard, Rudolph, Lloyd, Skeen, Junior, etc... actually I have been teasing E with John Wayne ALOT lately!

Cindi said...

I think you handled the SMIL thing perfectly. Now the ball is in her court. It sounds as though you're doing the best thing: expect nothing, but if she chooses to get something for the baby, then that's great.

As far as the name thing goes, I'm a teacher and can't TELL you how many goofy spellings I've seen of names! Staff members comment on that all the time, and it is by far best to have a traditional spelling. We currently have a Mychol (Michael-boy), Joie (Joey-girl), Brittne (Britany), and SEVEN different spellings of Makayla. We also have a Malayda, and used to have a Lincoln and a Laken. Sometimes I wonder where some of these parents came up with these things!

Personally I prefer rather traditional names with traditional spellings. We have a great nephew who is about to have his first birthday and his name is...Michael. I love it!

Baby Deux! said...


I forgot to ask you where you got your cutey-cute "It's a boy" tag?


Plus you have inspired me to change my blog name to There is finally a Baby Deux!

Courtney said...

I'm sorry that you are having to sort our family drama in the midst of such an otherwise happy time. It sounds like you are handling it very well though! Both your response to the relative and the baby bedding seem perfect to me!

Missy said...

I think your response was very repectful and generous considering her behavior towards you. I hope that this new baby will help to heal the torn relationship between your hubby and his father.

Rachel Inbar said...

We're having major name problems too (OK, just can't think of any, whether for boy or girl). I like Biblical names like Joshua, Joel, Noah, etc.

Amy said...

Farah ~ Hope you can put the SMIL thing behind you.

As far as names...I have always loved the name Christian. Though DH and I prefer the spelling Cristian. I also love Nicholas.

Barb said...

I think you did the right thing. You're the better person.

And yay for feeling more comfortable!

As for names, how about going to your family routes (as to ethnicity) and checking out some of the names that may be classic for that country, but not super common? Then you'd have a very down to earth name with its correct spelling that isn't everywhere.

Resplendentquetzal said...

I love the bedding! It is not too theme-y and can last a lot longer than something cutesy with animals. I tell you these kids grow up so fast!

As for the SMIL, great response. Good job on being the bigger person. You'll be vindicated someday for it!

Take care1

Chas said...

I love the bedding! It's very versatile!!

We had the same name issues. I wanted a name that wasn't weird, but I wanted one that wasn't exactly common either...hence the name Lila. Of course, people like to mess it up and call her Lilly, one of the most common names around right now, but I promptly correct them :).

We also had no good family names....Bessie, Mildred, Omalee, Debbie (not that Debbies is a bad name; it's just not a name for a little girl).

I have a friend who is pregnant now with a little boy. She is desperate to name the boy Landon. Her husband is desperate to name the boy Schuyler (Skyler). She hates Schuyler and thinks it sounds like a girly name (which I agree with). I hope you guys can come up with one that you both agree on and love!!

Katie said...

I love your bedding and your extra confidence! I am so glad that you are in a place where you feel comfortable doing all of these things for your SON. Amazing!

Mel said...

The bedding is just fantastic.
That is pretty cool about the evil step-in law suddenly stepping out to try and be nice; maybe God softened her heart and any free baby loot is good baby loot, right?

Cool, unique but not weird boy names: Garrett, Tanner, Daxton, Carson, Kaden, Jackson, Connor, Liam, Nathan, Noah, Luke

I am a total name whore, obvious much???!!

gracechild said...

yeah i think you made a wise choice. When in doubt about the potential family politics landmine; give directions to the nearest gift registry. She can pick & choose herself

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you!!! And beyond excited that you are enjoying being pregnant with your son!!! It truly brought tears to my eyes (the joy) to read this!!!!

As far as the Step-MIL...WTH? You're a better person than I am to not totally ignore her. (actually, i'd send the link and completely let her buy whatever she wanted and accept any gift, but know in my heart that there was no way she could buy forgivness without asking for it)

Good luck with the names! And you know I love the bedding.

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

Your MIL's email is so strange. But definitely take a free gift - it is the least they can do. Maybe the thought of a granchild is softening her up a bit? I would never trust her, of course, but luckily she is not attempting to babysit or anything like that.

I agree with your feelings about finding out the sex. I truly believe that knowing would help me to believe that the baby is real. Not to mention the fun baby shopping.

I think you and I are in similar places in the name selection department. You and I have the same philosophy and Mr. LIW would never allow for creative spelling. We picked a boy's name not too long ago and, even though I look through books, I don't think we will agree on anything else. It's such a difficult decision for all of the reasons that you indicate.

Glad you found shopping to be therapeutic!


Delenn said...

The bedding is very cute. You handled the family drama with grace. Naming is hard--we had no idea for a boy name this time (luckily, its a girl and had that one known from the start).

T-girl said...

I am in LOOOOOVE with the bedding!!!!!

Great job on dealing with your SMIL... I hope the baby arrival starts a new era from now on ;)

Diana said...

Love the bedding, very cute!!!

Well yay for SMIL and becoming a grown up. Sounds like she has realized her mistakes and is trying to make up for them without actually saying "I'm sorry" I think you did the right thing, your note back sounds nice but not too much. She can respond or not. I hope she does, it will be nice for your SON to have more family. The more the merrier!

butterflyanla said...

Sometimes babies have a way of bringing families together. Your email was very nice. I think that she extended an olive branch and it was good of you to take it. Maybe this gesture will help E and his Dad work on their relationship also. Glad you are buying clothes. I was worried. by the looks of the registry little mini was gonna have no toys, a car seat, and will be nude! Ha Ha

Cibele said...

I really enjoyed finding out the sex of our baby... it helped me to get ready and use tot he idea of having a daughter. I loved the bedding, and yes baby boy clothes are also so cute!!! Good luck with the name game. it is so difficult... I am glad that we finally settle in one name.
It looks like that Mimi is already bringing out the best on people, your response to the step MIL was very appropriated.

Kathy V said...

It was nice that you were able to deal with the family drama in such a nice way. The bedding is adorable. I would have to agree with you on the name. Your kid and twelve others in the class shouldn't have the same name. I like the fairly uncommon as I was the only Kathy in any of my classes it was nice. Also, like he said, don't spell anything in a wacko kind of way because the poor little guy will have to spell it for everybody and it just makes thinks harder. Although an uncommon name could be Bubba. A name with three B's wouldn't be hard to spell either. Just kidding on that part.

Kathy V said...

It was nice that you were able to deal with the family drama in such a nice way. The bedding is adorable. I would have to agree with you on the name. Your kid and twelve others in the class shouldn't have the same name. I like the fairly uncommon as I was the only Kathy in any of my classes it was nice. Also, like he said, don't spell anything in a wacko kind of way because the poor little guy will have to spell it for everybody and it just makes thinks harder. Although an uncommon name could be Bubba. A name with three B's wouldn't be hard to spell either. Just kidding on that part.

Elaine said...

I couldn't have been so forgiving to someone who had been so evil to me. Good for you! I hope for your Son's sake that evil-SMIL is coming to grips with the fact that you are in the family to stay!

TeamWinks said...

I also love the bedding. I think you handled that situation with much style and grace!

Jendeis said...

I'm am so proud of you for the way that you handled SMIL. Good job!

I'm pro-classic spelling of names, so I agree with E and with you. I'd say have a couple names in mind and when Mini is born, you can see what you like best. My friend had a baby and they had named him Andrew, when he was born, they put the baby on her stomach and she said "Oh Michael, I'm glad you're here!" So, now the baby is Michael. One request, however (that I'm sure you will follow anyways): please do not legally name this baby "Mini Vann".

Just reading through the comments: John Wayne Vann, greatest name ever! John Wayne Vann would kick some serious butt! He wouldn't be John Vann or Johnny, he would have to always be John Wayne Vann!

tryingin2007 said...

finally! fertilized! I have been waiting for that change since you announced your bfp! I was actually going to ask you again when you were (if you were) making the adjustment.


Marcy "meg" said...

I love the bedding... very cute....

Hopefully this is a sign your step MIL is coming around.....

Which stroller did you pick? I think I found one I like too.

My_Herstory said...

Very nice choice on the bedding! :)

I wish you the very best with you in-laws! When I was introduced to dh's family for the first time, it was out-laws! And with that they were right! Least I can do is give them credit for that hehe.