Jumble

I was asked:

Where oh where did you get that hat and mittens set? Gy.mbo.ree, I am an addict. I cannot stay out of that store. They have the best boy selection for the price, In my opinion. There is ALWAYS a sale going on.

Is there anything you miss from before MT - even if you feel guilty about it? I actually had to think hard about this question. Pre-MT, I woke up about 30 mins before I needed to leave for work. Mornings were very low key and uneventful. So, I think the thing I miss the most is sleeping in and having low key mornings. I am adjusting well. But It would be great not to have to get up early 7 days a week, 365 days a yr. and start the day running as soon as my feet hit the ground.

I also miss hanging out with friends on the weekend. We used to hang out and eat every friday evening at a sports bar. But since everyone has children now, It has stopped.

What has been the biggest/best surprise about being a mother?
I actually do have patience. I wasn't sure I would be able to deal with little sleep, high demands, constant need of some kind of attention or task. The reward of a simple smile, coo or laugh really does make me forget about the daily struggles. It is far greater than I imagined. I can stay home for hours/days on end and not get cabin fever. I enjoy the simplicity of it all.

What kind of video's does he like? We watch The Baby Einstein videos. We have watched Miss Spider, Blue's Clues, and Backyardians. )shows on noggin) Yesterday E said WordWorld kept his attention on PBS. He will pay attention to these for about 3 mins. If there is music, singing and little kids involved, he will watch much longer (5-7mins). I usually have some sort of music or tv going while he plays on the floor with his toys. He has gotten to where he will rock side to side or bounce when he hears music come on now. E and I have always sang made up songs to him. He response very well to singsongy melodies.

I know it is way to early but, have you thought about birthday party ideas yet? Actually yes we have, So far, I am planning to have it at a park and I have already put a deposit down for shelter reservation. Since his birthday is around graduation and the start of summer, I figured I better get a jump on it. As for themes and whatnot, I have given them a lil thought. I like this cake and this cake. And of course, these cupcakes.

Do you dare push your luck and try for another one? Or do you be happy with the miracle you do have? The answer to this question is so complicated. I don't even know how to answer for myself. We aren't preventing a pregnancy. Which raises some suspicion and flags, mentally. So, I guess the answer Right now is, If it happens, It happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I am not sure what I am willing to do as far as treatments are concerned again. I am not even sure how I feel about being pregnant again. I have been reading about those who are ready to try again (gave birth around the time I did) and I am not sure If I am jealous. Jealous that they are ready to try again, Jealous that they have hope to dive in head first and battle up for another child. Jealous of their perseverance. Or just I am so used to jealous emotions when it comes to pregnancy announcements, I need to be reprogrammed a bit. Take a step back and allow some more time/healing

There are so many levels to the "Do you want another child" question that I never really thought about. and right now, I am not ready to even approach the discussion. But on a hypocritical level, I am having a dilema. One of the problems I am having is trying to get my brain out of thinking in cycles. I am tracking my periods mentally. Counting days, constantly wondering if my body is doing the things that it didn't do before such as ovulate and become regular? Are my hormones balanced? What Cycle Day is today .... I have thought like this for sooo long (6+ yrs), I am not sure how to even stop. Anyone else going/gone through this? Does it ever stop? Will my thoughts let up eventually?

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I went on a job interview this morning. It took me 4 minutes to get there. FOUR MINUTES! I was unsure what the job interview was about before I got there. I had off today and I figured I should go check it out and see what it was about. It is M-F 8-5, It will pay more than my current job (not by much) but It is 4 mins from my house, and 4 minutes to a daycare I could use. I would be basically 3 city blocks from my house and daycare. That is a HUGE plus. I am unsure if I will even be offered the position. It's a small company with 5 employees. I am not sure I want to work 5 days a week. I do have to work a little bit, the money is nice. I would not be wasting 2 hours a day in traffic. I feel kind of Meh about it. I have some posts I have been brewing in my head for weeks now but I need to run to the grocery store and then go get MT at my parents house. It's like 40 degrees here today .. MAN am I Freezing.! But I am enjoying the change in weather