Whirlwind ..... that describes my life recently. Caught in a whirlwind. Last Thursday, My father ad mother decided it would be best to try a treatment facility that my sister found where she lives. We really have had no luck with her care providers here. It was like beating a dead horse with some of these dr's. No one seemed to want to try to help us figure out the problem - they just wanted to over medicate her more and Everyone involved was getting frustrated. The diagnosed her with something that I just disagree with. And they almost convinced my father that she was bi.pol.ar. I have dealt with many of these patient's and I just did not see it in my mother and I was not/am not floating down Denial ... Really
SO long story short - they took her to be evaluated to see what that facility could do for her. I received a call from my dad letting me know that they were going to keep her - i LOST IT. I knew this was a possibility and I knew this was what my dad was hoping would happen - But i just cried and cried and cried over it. She is in a different state and I have a newborn. I wanted desperately to be there - but knew I needed to keep my head on straight and care for my child. Visiting hours were only for 1 hour a day and it's a 5 hour drive. I knew that I could not make that drive on my own and E had to work. So i just cried some more. We had the absolute worst day that Thursday. I was tense, upset and just tearful - Which only made MT tense, upset and tearful. I sat on my bed, feeding the poor boy and tears just streaming down my face. I blame some tears on hormones and some on a crappy situation. E came home - we discussed the possibility going for a weekend visit. After talking it through, we decided that I just needed to stay home and try to relax, unwind and have some fun. So we spent the weekend doing just that. Hanging out and enjoying being a family of 3. We went out to dinner, a walk in the park, the mall and watched some mindnumbing TV. (should I mention that we had some relations? or not)
Today I had my last OB check up. I was told all things looked great, healed fine, etc... and i can stop shooting up! I mean, discontinue my Lo.ven.ox .. WOW - No more Shots! That is something to have a party for. So tonight will be my first night w/o any injections of any kind since October. I am so glad to be done with them. My ob would like me to continue to take an aspirin, a prenatal (until I stop nursing), and a folic acid every day. I was so excited that I get to stop the lo.ve.nox, I forgot to ask for my Met back.
We did discuss the inevitable ... Birth Control. I am having such a hard time with this topic. I do not want another child right now, My dr's would probably go into cardiac arrest if I showed up in their office pregnant in the next yr. I think I might actually go into cardiac arrest if I show up pregnant in the next year... Yah Right Me pregnant w/o assistance in the next yr ?!? ... then there is this little part of me that says "what if" ... I always liked the What If Game. I am completely satisfied with 1 .. MT is my miracle. I am absolutely perfectly satisfied .... But what IF .....
Since I am breastfeeding/pumping - I can only take what is called the Mi.niPi.ll .. Mini refrence .... Ironic Huh ... I have the prescription ... Am i going to fill it? I don't know. PLEASE weigh in your opinions I want to hear from everyone that reads this post .. Delurk to Comment PLEASE. I am really floundering and seeking all kinds of opinions.
Lastly, my father is trying to get me to ride with him tomorrow to visit my mother. It will be our first road trip if i end up going. I want to go visit her, my sister wants to see the baby but I am waiting for E to decide if he can go a few days w/o us being home.
As always, my life seems to be alil abnormal - please know I am reading (if i don't comment- my arms are tied up)