I know that this is the season for thankfulness but Right now I am so Mad at Target and their Big Bully Attempts ..I hate that Big Companies like Target can Bulldoze people .... In response to their big giant screw up over the Bri,tax car seats .. They must have sent everyone$25 egiftcards. This is part of a response I received:
"By redeeming this e-GiftCard, you acknowledge full satisfaction and release of any claims against Target relating to this pricing error.
As a valued guest, your business is very important to us. It’s our hope to be given the opportunity to serve you again as a Target.com guest."
I am freaking LIVID. I was not this mad when I found out that my order was canceled due to their incompetence and that they would not fulfill my order. But NOW, I feel like they are just being low balling A holes about it ... I am conflicted ....The $25 does not make it all better .... So by using the ecard I would be lying either way. It cannot make me fully satisfied .... In Fact, It adds insult to injury really ... Seriously Target Sucks In a Big way.... I already disliked their return policy to begin with .. now this .... Target should learn to treat their consumers with more respect than that
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Giving Thanks ... Yum
I made our own Babyfood. It's the easiest thing ever. I went to the fresh market and bought 1 lb of green beans, a sweet potato, figi apples and bananas. I went to my parents house (because they have a chopper I wanted to try) and put the sweet potato in the oven for 40mins-ish. Boiled/steamed the green beans and apples w/some cinnamon. I did use this website suggestion and I did store them in ice cube trays and put them in the freezer. All in all, took about 2 hours from start to finish and I have tons of food. I spent $5. Here is my estimations so if you try it at home, you won't have too much foods to process. Loosely Based on 1 ice cube slot = 1 oz. A banana = 8oz, Sweet potato (average size) and 1 oz of breast milk = 12 oz, 3 figi apples and a tablespoon of water = 8 oz, 1 lb of fresh green beans and 1 oz of breast milk = 12 oz
apples
green beans
sweet potatoes
alittle elf.....
My freezer is stocked. We gave MT 1 cube of green beans and 1 cube of banana today mixed together. He absolutely loved it. My dad let him taste the applesauce yesterday also... boy did he tear that up! This solid foods seems to be going .. BUT Good Gracious... THE poop. Solid poops are disgusting ..OH MY WORD. ...It's awful. .... Oh tangent ....
Giving Thanks. Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday. I think it is because our family and friends get together and spend the day eating, talking and just enjoying each other. Christmas tends to be so hectic and on the go and "presents" orientated. I never seem to enjoy - scratch that ..no one seems to enjoy the process of christmas like we do for thanksgiving.
Plus, for Years now,I have longed to be able to watch the parade with my child. Iknow that this year he may not "watch it" but in years to come, I hope that he will be just as excited about the parade as I am every year. This year, I have tons and tons to be thankful for. I want to stop and recognize It. I am thankful for this blog and the readers behind the blogs. Thank you for expanding my life. Blogging has allowed me to open myself up, feel like there are others out there that somehow understand me, relate to me and want to see me survive this rollercoaster ride of life. I am not a touchy person irl ..but by blogging it has allowed to me to explore myself and expand as a person. I am thankful for each and every one of you ...Commentors or Not... Thank you for this opportunity and friendship.
apples
green beans
sweet potatoes
alittle elf.....
My freezer is stocked. We gave MT 1 cube of green beans and 1 cube of banana today mixed together. He absolutely loved it. My dad let him taste the applesauce yesterday also... boy did he tear that up! This solid foods seems to be going .. BUT Good Gracious... THE poop. Solid poops are disgusting ..OH MY WORD. ...It's awful. .... Oh tangent ....
Giving Thanks. Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday. I think it is because our family and friends get together and spend the day eating, talking and just enjoying each other. Christmas tends to be so hectic and on the go and "presents" orientated. I never seem to enjoy - scratch that ..no one seems to enjoy the process of christmas like we do for thanksgiving.
Plus, for Years now,I have longed to be able to watch the parade with my child. Iknow that this year he may not "watch it" but in years to come, I hope that he will be just as excited about the parade as I am every year. This year, I have tons and tons to be thankful for. I want to stop and recognize It. I am thankful for this blog and the readers behind the blogs. Thank you for expanding my life. Blogging has allowed me to open myself up, feel like there are others out there that somehow understand me, relate to me and want to see me survive this rollercoaster ride of life. I am not a touchy person irl ..but by blogging it has allowed to me to explore myself and expand as a person. I am thankful for each and every one of you ...Commentors or Not... Thank you for this opportunity and friendship.
Labels:
baby foods,
Encouragements,
i can cook,
solids
Sunday, November 23, 2008
5.5
5 and 1/2 months has come and gone. MT is thriving. He is growing. He is unbelievable wonderful, healthy and happy. We have tried to add veggies to his daily food intake. So far, so good. We were doing sweet potatoes and now we have added Green Beans to the mix. He seems to love green beans more than the sweet potato, or he is happy for a new taste. (to those who have a food processor, I would like one for Christmas but I want one that is big enough but not huge and take up alot of space, any suggestions? I am still just making our own foods) I thought about the gadget that is all inclusive but decided against it because of it's limitations. I assume I will only have to puree the food for about 3 more months or less ..So i would like to have something that is not limited for myself..I think .... mini Cuisinart..do they work ..or there is an 11 cup one ...Help ... input please)
I am still not coordinated enough to leave the house before noon most days, but it can be done if need be and it is getting better. I require a shower before I can leave the house .. It's a understood rule of mine. I am still just trying to learn to get up and shower before MT wakes up. (wish I could take a shower at night but My hair just needs a shower in the morning and I just like my sleep alittle too much.)
Having MT has brought to the surface some (most) areas of my character/personality that are selfish .... and I am having to work through them. (see above about shower/sleep) This is another reason E and I sometimes have some fightin' words, ughmm I mean differences.
Friday night, E and I had a huge disagreement. Of course, It was over chores, duties, housework nonsense. Everyone seems to fight over this issue at least once in their lifetime. (be it with a roommate, parent, spouse, sign. other, child, etc.)
I mentioned (uhmmm in a yelling voice - just being honest) to E that I needed him to step it up a bit. Remember, I told you he was sick and it felt like an eternity that he was sick for.... Well, It was grating on my nerves. Yes .. You think, Have a lil compassion for the guy, Seriously ... and I should have. I had some, but it was running low and filling up with my selfishness. ..... I was tired, I was PMSing, I was doing double duty w/ providing care for both him and MT. I just got back from being gone a week with MT by myself. MT (well we all were) trying to adjust from vacation. MT had been fussy like something fierce this week. Basically, MT was replaced with the screaming banshee again ...( i know now it was because of teething) He now has another tooth bud popping up. I am now starting to recognize his signs for teething. The tooth is right next to the one that just popped up a few weeks ago. He was up/awake ... and fussy .... and drooling ..... and just plain miserable. Nothing consoled him, except holding him and loving on him. (sometimes bfing) Even that had it's moments. This is the first week (since he started sleeping through the night) that we have been unable to get him in the bed by no later than 8:30pm. Bed time for him this week has been around 11pm. and only then because of exhaustion from crying or being miserable, he finally just wore himself out .... So teething for us is ROUGH .... I know that not everyone has such a hard time with this teething thing, but MT sure seems to just absolutely not tolerate it at all.
Combine all of this and I have been squeezed and pressed until the selfishness just rises to the surface and leaks out all over .... and usually lands right smack dab in the middle of my husband's lap .... And once again .... this is what he dealt with Friday night. He is so gracious too .. He does not at all get hot about it. He just lets me finish my rant/vent session. He calmly deals with the situation, diffuses the bomb, per say .. and then just loves on me some.... It's really the opposite of what I would do if some lunatic was yelling and fighting with me .... but none the less, He just takes one for the team ... and I love him so much through his actions and reactions. It makes it extremely hard to be/stay mad at him. He truly doesn't have a mean spirited bone in his body .... He knows he needs to offer to help out more. He knows that he was requiring alittle too much of my sympathy and time. He and I know he is sorry. He tries very hard.... and I need to give him credit for that. This has been the first time that he has been sick since MT was born. I consider this a milestone.... We made it through. ... Yes there was yelling and fighting, but we are all still here and accounted for ... and Loved
I am still not coordinated enough to leave the house before noon most days, but it can be done if need be and it is getting better. I require a shower before I can leave the house .. It's a understood rule of mine. I am still just trying to learn to get up and shower before MT wakes up. (wish I could take a shower at night but My hair just needs a shower in the morning and I just like my sleep alittle too much.)
Having MT has brought to the surface some (most) areas of my character/personality that are selfish .... and I am having to work through them. (see above about shower/sleep) This is another reason E and I sometimes have some fightin' words, ughmm I mean differences.
Friday night, E and I had a huge disagreement. Of course, It was over chores, duties, housework nonsense. Everyone seems to fight over this issue at least once in their lifetime. (be it with a roommate, parent, spouse, sign. other, child, etc.)
I mentioned (uhmmm in a yelling voice - just being honest) to E that I needed him to step it up a bit. Remember, I told you he was sick and it felt like an eternity that he was sick for.... Well, It was grating on my nerves. Yes .. You think, Have a lil compassion for the guy, Seriously ... and I should have. I had some, but it was running low and filling up with my selfishness. ..... I was tired, I was PMSing, I was doing double duty w/ providing care for both him and MT. I just got back from being gone a week with MT by myself. MT (well we all were) trying to adjust from vacation. MT had been fussy like something fierce this week. Basically, MT was replaced with the screaming banshee again ...( i know now it was because of teething) He now has another tooth bud popping up. I am now starting to recognize his signs for teething. The tooth is right next to the one that just popped up a few weeks ago. He was up/awake ... and fussy .... and drooling ..... and just plain miserable. Nothing consoled him, except holding him and loving on him. (sometimes bfing) Even that had it's moments. This is the first week (since he started sleeping through the night) that we have been unable to get him in the bed by no later than 8:30pm. Bed time for him this week has been around 11pm. and only then because of exhaustion from crying or being miserable, he finally just wore himself out .... So teething for us is ROUGH .... I know that not everyone has such a hard time with this teething thing, but MT sure seems to just absolutely not tolerate it at all.
Combine all of this and I have been squeezed and pressed until the selfishness just rises to the surface and leaks out all over .... and usually lands right smack dab in the middle of my husband's lap .... And once again .... this is what he dealt with Friday night. He is so gracious too .. He does not at all get hot about it. He just lets me finish my rant/vent session. He calmly deals with the situation, diffuses the bomb, per say .. and then just loves on me some.... It's really the opposite of what I would do if some lunatic was yelling and fighting with me .... but none the less, He just takes one for the team ... and I love him so much through his actions and reactions. It makes it extremely hard to be/stay mad at him. He truly doesn't have a mean spirited bone in his body .... He knows he needs to offer to help out more. He knows that he was requiring alittle too much of my sympathy and time. He and I know he is sorry. He tries very hard.... and I need to give him credit for that. This has been the first time that he has been sick since MT was born. I consider this a milestone.... We made it through. ... Yes there was yelling and fighting, but we are all still here and accounted for ... and Loved
Labels:
baby foods,
Frustrations,
screaming banshee,
solids,
teething?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Not your usual post
Last Night I was flipping through the channels and had my interest peaked when this man (whom I think is a lil dreamy) was talking about how these afri.can cl.awed fr.ogs were shipped around the US and used to help determine if women were pregnant in the 30's and 40's. Seems to be, If you inject the female frog with urine sample from the woman, and the woman is pregnant, it will cause the frog to ovulate and release her eggs 8 to 12 hours after injected. Weird, Huh.. According to the show I was watching and this article , the frogs are all dying to a fungus that is showing up in their bodies of waters. Scientist's and other animal care takers are trying to slow down the process. The part I found interesting was that Jeff and other activist kept referring back to how frogs and humans have a direct relationship with medications, treatments and hormones. They kept speaking of the fertility issues and how frog/human hormones react the same. It was very interesting to me. Then, they went to some stream in Mi.ssouri to search for hel.lbende.rs. The biologist w/ Jeff went on record to say that the male population from this state tends to have a noticeably lower sperm count than the rest of the US. They also stated that the once thriving he.llbe.nder population also have decreased over the years due to their low sperm count as well.
Also there was a certain type of female frog that ended up dying because there was not a male frog available to provide her with sex to help her release all of her eggs. My husband pointed out that it is possible to die from lack of sex ..... I assured him, he was not a female frog and his body would not explode or suffocate because he had too many eggs on the inside crushing his organs .... Men
Is it all propaganda? ... I dunno. I was not on their research team, I am unsure how they conducted all their information, but do I believe the impacts of environment on our fertility systems .. Yes I do... What do you think?
Also there was a certain type of female frog that ended up dying because there was not a male frog available to provide her with sex to help her release all of her eggs. My husband pointed out that it is possible to die from lack of sex ..... I assured him, he was not a female frog and his body would not explode or suffocate because he had too many eggs on the inside crushing his organs .... Men
Is it all propaganda? ... I dunno. I was not on their research team, I am unsure how they conducted all their information, but do I believe the impacts of environment on our fertility systems .. Yes I do... What do you think?
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Ob-La-Di
It's been over a week since I posted. I have been busy being busy. If that makes sense.
The Return of that pesky Aunt was .... pretty intense. I think that is what mostly led my feelings of being too overwhelmed,angry and upset to discuss the topic of family planning with my sister. (it was a few days before the Aunt showed herself) .. I am not sure if it was as pretty hard period or if I just forgot what they were like. Either way ... Not fun but it's over now and I am curious to see if/when it returns. I am wondering if the pcos is going to keep me guessing. I have a rx of met back. I have not taken it yet. I am still bfing and my dr made it pretty clear that I was not to take it while bf-ing because it has not been studied enough in her opinion... Any thoughts?
Solids- We have stopped and started solids more times than anyone I know. MT hates cereal. (and it locks him up) I am wondering if he is like me and has "texture" issues. I have texture issues. I hate Jello, pudding, oatmeal, custard, rice pudding, some types of lettuce, cream of wheat etc .. All because of texture issues. So after 3 weeks of no solids, I went back to trying cereal again .... again he hated it ..I decided to bake a sweet potato and mushed it up with breastmilk and fed him that. He loved it. So for 3 days we did sweet potatoes 2 times a day.. about 1 oz total a day.
2 Nights ago, MT woke up in the middle of the night screaming. This was his first time waking up in the middle of the night since he was 5 weeks old. I had no idea what to do. It was uncharacteristic. (please don't hate me for writing that) I patted his lil tummy and tried to get him to stop crying at first w/o picking him up. Well after about 3 mins of trying that method, It was obviously not working. I picked him up and he did not immediately stop crying, but the crying was not in high alert like it was before. I put him on my shoulder and just walked around bouncing him and he finally went back to sleep after 20/30 mins so I laid him back down. He slept pretty good the rest of the night.
Last night, I decided to try jarred carrots since he seemed to enjoy sweet potatoes. About 2 hours after he ate them, and had just got a bath, he threw them all up. All over ....I am not sure what happened there really. I checked to see if he had a fever .. no, fussy ..Yes, miserable ....Yes, flailing in pain..yes, arching his back ... yes, farting up a storm ....Yes... MT has a bout of gas. He has never had gas that caused him pain before So once again, I wasn't prepared. He is also teething pretty bad again.. Drool is flowing like a fountain again the past few days .... and everything goes straight into his mouth to be gnawed on. MT was up WAY past his bedtime last night, obviously .. He slept til 9 this morning. All seems fine now. He has ate his bottles, I did skip the lunch time solids .. Maybe he just is not ready for that yet..... Maybe it was a fluke thing and he caught the bug my husband had ...
E has been sick for what seems like a constant 2 weeks for me ... But in reality just has been about 8 days ... It started the day of my sister's weekend. He was so ill that he didn't actually attend most of my sisters wedding. Which left me passing MT off to family members while I completed my matron duties. (making sure marriage license got signed and in the car, packing her car with food for her travel, and packing stuff from her apartment that didn't get moved earlier because she actually returned to a different city after the honeymoon) ..It was a busy day. Then We returned home and E wasn't feeling great and always tired ..then managed to get the flu ..... So it was a constant taking care of 2 people .My patience's were running SO thin .. I was exhausted and dealing with AF.
But It's a new day, things are looking up ... and i have this to make my days much brighter:
The Return of that pesky Aunt was .... pretty intense. I think that is what mostly led my feelings of being too overwhelmed,angry and upset to discuss the topic of family planning with my sister. (it was a few days before the Aunt showed herself) .. I am not sure if it was as pretty hard period or if I just forgot what they were like. Either way ... Not fun but it's over now and I am curious to see if/when it returns. I am wondering if the pcos is going to keep me guessing. I have a rx of met back. I have not taken it yet. I am still bfing and my dr made it pretty clear that I was not to take it while bf-ing because it has not been studied enough in her opinion... Any thoughts?
Solids- We have stopped and started solids more times than anyone I know. MT hates cereal. (and it locks him up) I am wondering if he is like me and has "texture" issues. I have texture issues. I hate Jello, pudding, oatmeal, custard, rice pudding, some types of lettuce, cream of wheat etc .. All because of texture issues. So after 3 weeks of no solids, I went back to trying cereal again .... again he hated it ..I decided to bake a sweet potato and mushed it up with breastmilk and fed him that. He loved it. So for 3 days we did sweet potatoes 2 times a day.. about 1 oz total a day.
2 Nights ago, MT woke up in the middle of the night screaming. This was his first time waking up in the middle of the night since he was 5 weeks old. I had no idea what to do. It was uncharacteristic. (please don't hate me for writing that) I patted his lil tummy and tried to get him to stop crying at first w/o picking him up. Well after about 3 mins of trying that method, It was obviously not working. I picked him up and he did not immediately stop crying, but the crying was not in high alert like it was before. I put him on my shoulder and just walked around bouncing him and he finally went back to sleep after 20/30 mins so I laid him back down. He slept pretty good the rest of the night.
Last night, I decided to try jarred carrots since he seemed to enjoy sweet potatoes. About 2 hours after he ate them, and had just got a bath, he threw them all up. All over ....I am not sure what happened there really. I checked to see if he had a fever .. no, fussy ..Yes, miserable ....Yes, flailing in pain..yes, arching his back ... yes, farting up a storm ....Yes... MT has a bout of gas. He has never had gas that caused him pain before So once again, I wasn't prepared. He is also teething pretty bad again.. Drool is flowing like a fountain again the past few days .... and everything goes straight into his mouth to be gnawed on. MT was up WAY past his bedtime last night, obviously .. He slept til 9 this morning. All seems fine now. He has ate his bottles, I did skip the lunch time solids .. Maybe he just is not ready for that yet..... Maybe it was a fluke thing and he caught the bug my husband had ...
E has been sick for what seems like a constant 2 weeks for me ... But in reality just has been about 8 days ... It started the day of my sister's weekend. He was so ill that he didn't actually attend most of my sisters wedding. Which left me passing MT off to family members while I completed my matron duties. (making sure marriage license got signed and in the car, packing her car with food for her travel, and packing stuff from her apartment that didn't get moved earlier because she actually returned to a different city after the honeymoon) ..It was a busy day. Then We returned home and E wasn't feeling great and always tired ..then managed to get the flu ..... So it was a constant taking care of 2 people .My patience's were running SO thin .. I was exhausted and dealing with AF.
But It's a new day, things are looking up ... and i have this to make my days much brighter:
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The Return
Thank you for the compliments about the wedding - We had a blast.
BUT now - back to reality ... UGHHhhhh..
Laundry is stacked to the ceiling ..... MT thinks he should be held all the time. (product of being on vacation and everyone passing him around like a football and providing him lots of entertainment)
But the worst part ... I am finally having my first "real" period. I say real because I have been having this period for longer than 1 day. The other periods were more like spotting for a few hours. Last week I thought I had a cyst. I had that weird pressure-y/pinchy feeling Like I remember cysts being. I have been complaining about backache for a few days now, yesterday it was really awful. Enough to warrant med's and sleep. I thought I had pulled a muscle. I went to the bathroom and discovered the return of the Aunt no one wants ... and Today..OH today .. Well, It is just like I remember .... UGH the bloating and pain ..I am off to take a hot shower.
Anyone have or ever use one of these?
BUT now - back to reality ... UGHHhhhh..
Laundry is stacked to the ceiling ..... MT thinks he should be held all the time. (product of being on vacation and everyone passing him around like a football and providing him lots of entertainment)
But the worst part ... I am finally having my first "real" period. I say real because I have been having this period for longer than 1 day. The other periods were more like spotting for a few hours. Last week I thought I had a cyst. I had that weird pressure-y/pinchy feeling Like I remember cysts being. I have been complaining about backache for a few days now, yesterday it was really awful. Enough to warrant med's and sleep. I thought I had pulled a muscle. I went to the bathroom and discovered the return of the Aunt no one wants ... and Today..OH today .. Well, It is just like I remember .... UGH the bloating and pain ..I am off to take a hot shower.
Anyone have or ever use one of these?
Monday, November 10, 2008
So Much to Say
Where do I begin ...... 120 post all marked as read .. I hated to do it but had to. I love google reader that allows you to just read all items. I skimmed and didn't comment much at all. Congrats to those that had babies while I was away. So very exciting.
Well, It's been a week since I really had full computer use. Last Sunday, MT and I drove to my sister's. He slept the entire trip. I left late hoping he would sleep the whole way. (5 hours) He was not aware that there was a time change so that gave me an extra hour of daylight to drive. *He still is not aware of the time change. He wants to go to bed about an hour before we want him to go to bed thus waking up earlier. We have been gradually stretching this out. Seems like today, we finally have it worked out.
My sister and I took care of all the final details and managed to get most everything done before E and My parents arrived Wednesday night. Thursday, My dad and I made food for the reception that my sister requested and managed to do it in record time. Everything just went really smooth. (of course there were some not so pleasant times, but we seems to work through them to give the whole weekend a peaceful feeling)
This weekend, "making babies" was a huge topic. You know, When you get married, You are supposed to automatically discuss this topic (insert sarcastic overtone).. .. Discuss Grand babies, Children, How many you want to have, when you are thinking about having them ...... etc.. "We aren't getting younger: .....I have decided that we totally rush things and spend mental/verbal/imaginary time in conversations/daydreams/thoughts and we totally should not. This is when I believe anxiety and mental anguish begins. And this is unfair to do to ourselves .... It's romanticised up .. I think it can be an an injustice to some. My sister is a very unique individual, This is going to be a HUGE change for her life. (marriage) I respect her for the way she has chosen to live her life.. I do... It is a life of Integrity. It is her life and not mine .. She is able to live it the way she wants to ... My sister and I had a REALLY good talk Tuesday night. I discovered some very deep, dark feeling on a topic that we had discussed before. Birth Control. My sister is terrified that she may have to have an experience with IF. She has her own views on BC. She has also stated that she is not ready to be a parent yet. *Since blogging, I have found an understanding for differences. Her views of this topic are somewhat different from mine and I try my very best to accept that. But, Let me tell you that it is MUCH easier to accept a difference of opinion from someone other than your younger sibling. ..sigh, I wish I were a better person, I wish I knew my feelings and emotions better so I could explain them more clearly.. After having a conversation about family planning (read: a yelling match until I figured out why I was yelling)... I realized how much emotional baggage I am still holding onto from my own IF journey. Yes, I said it... It still bothers me deeply. I have a baby and I still have not let go of all my hurt, anger and despair. I have now changed my thoughts on that subject now. Pre Baby Me - somehow didn't think about how I would cope/deal with alot of the baby topics. And it is not going as I expected. My sister even said that Since I had MT she assumed that all those negative hurtful feelings just disappear or go away .. I shared with her how deep those feelings go ... She was blown away that I was so candid and raw. Just a blubbering mess really ... I cried and cried and sobbed for what seemed like forever .. I actually cried myself to sleep. I have been running on adrenaline and exhaustion for quite some time that I just had never had time to think about these topics much. but faced with the discussions .. I crumpled .. I still have miles to go with digging up these feelings and dealing with them, but I hope one day I am truly able to embrace all pregnancies w/out envy or jealousy. I want to be able to genuinely be happy for whomever ... I do not want to feel the hair on the back of my neck draw up and my mind want to retreat and run or spit venom...
Ok on another note. I am reading this book ..I am just thoroughly enjoying this book. It is knocking my socks off .. I am in awe of this story .. A few more chapters and I will be done ..I may re-read it again
MT had his follow up appointment with the pediatric urologist today. Luckily, his minor ad.hes.ion's and a hydr.ocele have mostly corrected itself. The h.ydrocele did not turn out to be a her.nia and that part will not require surgery. The adhesion's ,on the other hand, have become very loose (which is partly a good thing - but partly a bad thing) but will require surgery. So, On Dec 22, MT will have the surgery to correct the issue. I am just nervous about this .... I just wish this didn't have to turn out this way for him ... He will never remember is what I am hoping
You know you just wanted to see pictures and I prolonged it:
Well, It's been a week since I really had full computer use. Last Sunday, MT and I drove to my sister's. He slept the entire trip. I left late hoping he would sleep the whole way. (5 hours) He was not aware that there was a time change so that gave me an extra hour of daylight to drive. *He still is not aware of the time change. He wants to go to bed about an hour before we want him to go to bed thus waking up earlier. We have been gradually stretching this out. Seems like today, we finally have it worked out.
My sister and I took care of all the final details and managed to get most everything done before E and My parents arrived Wednesday night. Thursday, My dad and I made food for the reception that my sister requested and managed to do it in record time. Everything just went really smooth. (of course there were some not so pleasant times, but we seems to work through them to give the whole weekend a peaceful feeling)
This weekend, "making babies" was a huge topic. You know, When you get married, You are supposed to automatically discuss this topic (insert sarcastic overtone).. .. Discuss Grand babies, Children, How many you want to have, when you are thinking about having them ...... etc.. "We aren't getting younger: .....I have decided that we totally rush things and spend mental/verbal/imaginary time in conversations/daydreams/thoughts and we totally should not. This is when I believe anxiety and mental anguish begins. And this is unfair to do to ourselves .... It's romanticised up .. I think it can be an an injustice to some. My sister is a very unique individual, This is going to be a HUGE change for her life. (marriage) I respect her for the way she has chosen to live her life.. I do... It is a life of Integrity. It is her life and not mine .. She is able to live it the way she wants to ... My sister and I had a REALLY good talk Tuesday night. I discovered some very deep, dark feeling on a topic that we had discussed before. Birth Control. My sister is terrified that she may have to have an experience with IF. She has her own views on BC. She has also stated that she is not ready to be a parent yet. *Since blogging, I have found an understanding for differences. Her views of this topic are somewhat different from mine and I try my very best to accept that. But, Let me tell you that it is MUCH easier to accept a difference of opinion from someone other than your younger sibling. ..sigh, I wish I were a better person, I wish I knew my feelings and emotions better so I could explain them more clearly.. After having a conversation about family planning (read: a yelling match until I figured out why I was yelling)... I realized how much emotional baggage I am still holding onto from my own IF journey. Yes, I said it... It still bothers me deeply. I have a baby and I still have not let go of all my hurt, anger and despair. I have now changed my thoughts on that subject now. Pre Baby Me - somehow didn't think about how I would cope/deal with alot of the baby topics. And it is not going as I expected. My sister even said that Since I had MT she assumed that all those negative hurtful feelings just disappear or go away .. I shared with her how deep those feelings go ... She was blown away that I was so candid and raw. Just a blubbering mess really ... I cried and cried and sobbed for what seemed like forever .. I actually cried myself to sleep. I have been running on adrenaline and exhaustion for quite some time that I just had never had time to think about these topics much. but faced with the discussions .. I crumpled .. I still have miles to go with digging up these feelings and dealing with them, but I hope one day I am truly able to embrace all pregnancies w/out envy or jealousy. I want to be able to genuinely be happy for whomever ... I do not want to feel the hair on the back of my neck draw up and my mind want to retreat and run or spit venom...
Ok on another note. I am reading this book ..I am just thoroughly enjoying this book. It is knocking my socks off .. I am in awe of this story .. A few more chapters and I will be done ..I may re-read it again
MT had his follow up appointment with the pediatric urologist today. Luckily, his minor ad.hes.ion's and a hydr.ocele have mostly corrected itself. The h.ydrocele did not turn out to be a her.nia and that part will not require surgery. The adhesion's ,on the other hand, have become very loose (which is partly a good thing - but partly a bad thing) but will require surgery. So, On Dec 22, MT will have the surgery to correct the issue. I am just nervous about this .... I just wish this didn't have to turn out this way for him ... He will never remember is what I am hoping
You know you just wanted to see pictures and I prolonged it:
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sweet Tooth
Road Trip .. No not like the movie
I hope everyone had a great Halloween/candy night. Thank you for the compliments on the picture. I was quite proud of it myself. *there is an optical illusion in that picture ... E is behind the ledge hiding supporting MT's back ... He cannot sit up that good yet w/o support. but he wishes he could.
Janna tagged me for ...Back at you Janna
The way this works is I answer the following questions with single word responses, and pass the award on to 7 other bloggers:
1. Where is your cell phone? charging
2. Where is your significant other? Kitchen
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother? tired
5. Your father? working
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? none
8. Your dream/goal? Bakery
9. The room you're in? Computer
10. Your hobby? TV
11. Your fear? Making wrong decisions
12. Where do you want to be in six years? home
13. Where were you last night? parents
14. What you're not? Prompt
15. One of your wish list items? part time job
16. Where you grew up? Tarpon
17. The last thing you did? ate
18. What are you wearing? PJ's
19. Your T.V.? Recording
20. Your pet? Rambunctious
21. Your computer? old
22. Your mood? somber
23. Missing someone? nope
24. Your car? packed
25. Something you're not wearing? shoes
26. Favorite store? Target
27. Your Summer? HOT
28. Love someone? deeply
29. Your favorite color? purple
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? yesterday
I love all your blogs .. Sooo Consider yourself tagged if you are reading mine!
I am off to my sister's to help get ready for her wedding. Road trip with me and MT .... E will be riding up with my parents on Wednesday. Wish me luck. It's my first trip by myself w/ MT and first time away from E in a long time. I hope I have everything I needed to bring. I am really excited.
We have MT's follow up appointment at the ped urologist on Monday. I am not looking forward to this appointment. I know that my husband has decided to go ahead and correct some of the issue. He has adhesion's that will need to be cut off, basically a re-circ ... In order to do this they will have to put him under .. I do not feel good about this .AT. ALL .. I am trying not to think about it until at the Dr's office because i just get choked up and dwell on it and end up crying about it. ... GAH, it's just not a pleasant thing to think about ....
Updates After the Wedding .. Or Wednesday when E joins us and I get the laptop back
Janna tagged me for ...Back at you Janna
The way this works is I answer the following questions with single word responses, and pass the award on to 7 other bloggers:
1. Where is your cell phone? charging
2. Where is your significant other? Kitchen
3. Your hair color? brown
4. Your mother? tired
5. Your father? working
6. Your favorite thing? family
7. Your dream last night? none
8. Your dream/goal? Bakery
9. The room you're in? Computer
10. Your hobby? TV
11. Your fear? Making wrong decisions
12. Where do you want to be in six years? home
13. Where were you last night? parents
14. What you're not? Prompt
15. One of your wish list items? part time job
16. Where you grew up? Tarpon
17. The last thing you did? ate
18. What are you wearing? PJ's
19. Your T.V.? Recording
20. Your pet? Rambunctious
21. Your computer? old
22. Your mood? somber
23. Missing someone? nope
24. Your car? packed
25. Something you're not wearing? shoes
26. Favorite store? Target
27. Your Summer? HOT
28. Love someone? deeply
29. Your favorite color? purple
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? yesterday
I love all your blogs .. Sooo Consider yourself tagged if you are reading mine!
I am off to my sister's to help get ready for her wedding. Road trip with me and MT .... E will be riding up with my parents on Wednesday. Wish me luck. It's my first trip by myself w/ MT and first time away from E in a long time. I hope I have everything I needed to bring. I am really excited.
We have MT's follow up appointment at the ped urologist on Monday. I am not looking forward to this appointment. I know that my husband has decided to go ahead and correct some of the issue. He has adhesion's that will need to be cut off, basically a re-circ ... In order to do this they will have to put him under .. I do not feel good about this .AT. ALL .. I am trying not to think about it until at the Dr's office because i just get choked up and dwell on it and end up crying about it. ... GAH, it's just not a pleasant thing to think about ....
Updates After the Wedding .. Or Wednesday when E joins us and I get the laptop back
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