A real post

I just want to thank all of you for being so kind and encouraging to me about our birth and few weeks with Baby A. It is/has helped so much in getting back on my feet.

So as of late - other than busy, I have been a tad bet reserve in my postings. (getting to that in a minute) Here it is a little over 2 weeks since A has arrived and we are getting along really well. I am being spoiled by my husband's presence. E has taken a month off of work - You have NO EARTHLY IDEA how much of a help this has been. I am not a night owl.. he is. He takes the late shift, I do the day shift. It works out quite well. I get sleep, he gets sleep and A get all his needs met w/o having exhausted care takers. It has/was also a HUGE comfort while trying to tend to my own health and needs after delivery. I think it made my recovery time so short and manageable. I was sore in the mid section (like pulled muscles and a horrible period, etc. for a few days but by the weekend I was feeling pretty darn great - the bleeding is still here but not nearly as bad - just enough to be annoying) Pumping is going well. Baby A is pretty much on a some what of a decent schedule - which helps out with pumping and planning on when I need to do things. (laundry, dinner, errands, dr's appointments, etc.)

I am reading this book and haven't really made it that far into it yet. My landlord swears it made a huge difference for her. She also had a little boy about 8 weeks before me. My next door neighbor growing up also had a baby about 9 weeks ago and suggested I go out and read this book. and a few others, So I started it. Give me a few days to finish it, I may have a post about it.

The reason for this post is to talk about how very timid about posting what I do, haven't done, don't do, need advice on, or help on with Baby A. Just like the insecurities that arise after posting about a BFP. There are insecurities that follow posting about baby's arrival. Just like the BFP, assvice starts flowing. It seems this "mommie" gig is quite more of a competitive sport then the NFL. I can not tell you how many different schools of thoughts there are. Different Opinions there are and how many people are VERY assured their way is the only right way. I am trying to word all of this very delicately. (because I have partook in many "I will never do that to my child , or "How Horrible is that for a child", insert whatever judging statement here) It seems these days there are so many sure fire ways to send your newborn to therapy in years to come if you do not choose the right: bottle, swing, sling, crib, bassinet, clothes, dr, diapers, feeding schedule, breast, formula, carseat, wipe, .. I was told yesterday that Maybe I "didn't use the right kind of alcohol pads on his belly button because it hasn't fallen off yet" ... I thought to myself .. "Did she really just Say that" .... Then my mind started to wonder if there were different or better alcohol pads I should be using ... I mean really .... wasting precious brain powers worrying about alcohol swabs and worrying more.

I am not familiar enough with the parenting after IF, or mommie blogs therefore I am unsure of where to find helpful information that tends to reflect my style of parenting as of yet. I think this is all just stemming from another layer of my insecurities and afraid of more nasty comments. I never thought I would actually be researching or googling "what kind of alcohol pads are the best to use on a newborns belly button" , or "when do you introduce the newborn to a swing, bouncy seat, car ride, grocery store, mall, powdered formula, etc."

Do not get the wrong idea - things here are absolutely fantastic. He is sleeping about 3-4 hours at night, 2-4 hours during the day. He is starting to be more awake and alert during the day and We could not be more happier with the progress we have made from turning our nights/days around. I have breastmilk in the freezer .. I mean things are really trucking along at a very comfortable pace. It's just more transitioning ..It was like going from Treatments to "holy cow 2 lines", now "it's Holy Cow I have a lil bundle of magic and I am in charge .. Now what?!." So far it seems to be a trial by error and eventually it all starts to figure itself out. It is amazing how after only 2 weeks, I know the difference between a hungry cry vs a I just want to be loved on cry vs I am tired of being in this position cry. I am trying to make a pact with myself to allow myself to be confident in the decisions We make for our child so that I can get thicker skin to withstand the Mommie NFL Season because If I don't, It's going to be a long 18+ years. I hope that the next part of this community is just as open-minded and supportive as the first part.

Baby A does have a blocked tear duct. We were told to apply a warm compress on it after naps and massaging it to try and get it to open. The Dr said she would check it again at his next appointment - his 1 month appointment - (in a few weeks) unless we felt it was getting worse - she wanted us to call her and come in sooner.