It's that time... Really it is

(anyone know why my spell check isn't working?)

Our apartment is no longer a baby(stuff) free zone. We made our first baby related purchase. A friend of mine found this on cra.igs.list for $20 in our area. So, Saturday morning, we went and bought it. I was/am so excited about this purchase. My husband was not a fan of having "that stuff" in our house for a while. So, I feel as if it's a new chapter. We broke the trend. my husband laughed that our first purchase is a safety item purchase - he says that is a not so subliminal message about us as a couple. We (finally) cleaned up the place this weekend - or as much as I could get help with. I have been neglecting it quite a bit and it was beginning to become very overwhelming. E got a sore throat/ear ache and didn't feel like tackling the "big stuff" Like I had hoped for. But there is a floor now, and a couch, and a kitchen, table etc. It is starting to look much much better.

We were going to see J.un.o yesterday, but i decided against it. So I told E to pick a movie instead. he picked this ( for me obviously). It is a pretty, cutesy movie, pretty romantic and just like you expect it to be. I just eat these cheesey movies up. I know i know ..I shouldn't admit that. I also find HIM (or his movie characters) So utterly YUMMILICIOUS!!! Which made the movie all more enjoyable.

Ok so .. Now, It's that time, the one that seems like it was never going to come, but I wasn't sure I wanted it to come time. You know, the "do i want to know, or not know" debate that I have been having with this blog and in my head. Well, We have our anatomy scan for sure tomorrow at 1:30 by the mfm dr's. I think I said things like "no. I don't want to know, but the suspense is killing me, Yes, let's just find out..... BUT NO, let's not and be like in when our parents were pregnant.. WHO am I kidding, There is nothing about this pregnancy that is like any of our parents" ... So on the way to the movies my husband (who never really voices his opinion) states that he would like to know. He knows that I can't make this decision on my own and knows that I really want to know I am being held up and bound by some kind of fear, rationaland/or irrational. Have I mentioned that honestly - he is just the perfect balance for my all time craziness...I truly got lucky in this department. He is just so completely perfect for me and must really pay attention because he just knows what to do to keep me sane (most of the time).

ok tangent... all that to say ..It's really that time ... 25+ hours, one more sleep, We will know.

Weekend Update

I accidentially stumbled on a television show that I absolutely LOVE. Its called Footballer's Wive$. It is on the BBC channel and I fancy it !!! It's like Desparate Housewives meets Sex and the City on cable (has a plot with a point and awesome scenery)

They had a marathon last sunday and I got to tape all the episodes in what i think is season 2. (what i think is) Season 3 started wednesday. They seem to be running season 2 also at midnight on saturday nights as well.. I noticed extra recordings on my tiv.o and they were the same episodes. If anyone is looking for good trash tv... I'm your woman (I should be ashamed of myself I know)



I also saw knocked up yesterday. This movie (although a touchy subject for myself, my husband, and everyone reading) was insanely hilarious. Some could veiw it as a little insensitive and insulting - But for the most part, there is FAR more funny involved. And at the end of the 2 hours, It was a movie which provided my alot of laughter on topic that has a tendency to be The White Elephant in any room I seem to be in lately.


I bought 2 books this weekend: Waiting for Daisy and A Few Good Eggs. I cant' wait to finish them. I started with Waiting for Daisy first.
It is CD31 - I guess i have to hold out 10 more day gauging on past cycles. They are about 36-45 days long the past couple months. I really thought metformi.n was supposed to regulate them... Maybe its ok for them to be 36-45 days apart !?!?

More important than Murphy's Law

This weekend I caught up reading some new blogs that have recently started commenting on mine. There are so many great, creative writers out there. It's almost a little intimidating for myself, since I am not such a profound writer. I am just real and honest and this is just therapy. It's not school where a teacher comes around and gets out a red pen to start horrifyingly riping my paper to shreds and by the time she gets done with it, its a Picasso's version of connect the dots - its just feelings turned to words to help me release all the pressure, so I do not do like the lil tea pot and tip over and pour out all over innocent bystanders.



I just finished reading Jaime's blog today and haven't been the same since. These are feelings I try desperately to put aside. Then I moved to TeamWinks. They have the same theme ... and I cant stop thinking about this. Despite all our (all IF-er's) attempts, we lose the newness, the joy (per say) and excitement of a new life and gain alot (of baggage, financial resources and other crappiness).



Just like the above bloggers, we have attempted parenthood and making many lifestyle changes in order to acheive this goal, and fall short for many months.



I have been on this organic/gluten free/no caffiene diet for quite some time now. (roughly 3 months) I have never been prone to yeast infections, but i "heard that yeast effects the reproductive system" and when I already fall on the wrong side of odds, I am willing to endure or give up what ever it takes to acheive paraenthood. It will only a temporary sacrifice. Saying that, I state for the record that my last yeast infection was aprox. 3 or 4 yrs ago. UNTIL LAST WEDNESDAY .. How can I go from posting how happy I am with my body to I want to set my woman parts ablaze and be done with them? Then I stubbled upon Town Criers' fantastic short and realized how I managed to get a yeast infection even when I am not eatting anything yeasty ... ................. Uterninus's Law ... this is was made for me today .. Thank you Thank you, boy did I need that. That is so great

Short Break

I haven't had much time to myself lately. I have been gearing up to go on vacation. I have been working like a dog preparing to be gone for 7 days. And as soon as we get back, we have to be ready to move out. I accumulated alot of over -time from work these past couple of weeks that I have to use it before June 30 or I basically lose it. So needless to say, the vacation is a little untimely and rushed (on the preparation end). We are going to visit my sister in ATL for a few days then meander our way to Tennessee to visit some old friends that I haven't seen in yrs. We went to college together and have been in touch via email/cellphone/text messaging but it will be so awesome to be in the same town again for a few days.

You know those one pair of very comfortable, soft, well loved blue jeans that make you feel really good, confident, and uncaring .... that is the effect this friend has on my soul. She was my college suite mate. We grew to have such an amazing bond between each other that we could be those cliched friends that could end each other's sentences, laugh at something that she knew I was thinking w/o having to say it, and such other really cheesy, mushy stuff. A friend that will watch "10 things i hate a.bout you" and "return t.o me" over and over and cry with you every time EVEN when you both know the ending ....... That's her. Those type of friends in my life are few and far between and I will cherish this time greatly ....

YAH ..i got my very first post card and was so excited when I got it. Thank you so much for the postcard JJ It really brightened my week between working 40 hours and then coming home to spring clean.

On the WTF is my period radar..... Its CD 27 .. my husband said he has a good feeling about this month .... we are still eating very organic and healthy - had a few meals that didn't fit that regiment- I will soon be on my 3rd month of metformin ( in 3 days) .. I hope everyone has a great week and I cant wait to catch up as soon as I get back


Peace Out

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Weekend Update ;)

Day 26 on Metformin, CD 35 ..... Still No sign of AF - wondering what i should do?!? Call the Dr office?, wait a few more days? - It's bizzare, I usually spend hours upon hours casting my prayers so AF does not show up ..... and now it seems odd to me for wishing that she would just come and get it over with already.

Since we know I do not ovulate (result of PCOS) - I was doing the no yeast or Candida Cleanse. I went about 20 days and was doing great - THEN the dreaded work scenario that was not condusive to "weird foods I can eat to keep me full"in the middle of no where. It was then that I realized that I needed to find some type of plan that would work for me. The New and Improved Diet Plan: I am now just trying to stay away from breads as much as possible. If I have to eat breads, I try to stick with whole grain. I still shop at the fresh market and organic food store for fruits and veggies. We are still eatting very lean and organic meats and alot of beans. I TRY to stay away from salad dressings except this awesome low fat greek dressing .

The past two days I have eatten the honey mustard chicken salad from Quiznos. I don't know what it is about that salad but I am HOOKED on it. (and yes i use the honey mustard dressing).

So overall- feeling better than last week, don't hate all pregnant women - but still don't want to "discuss baby topics" with my pregnant friends - I just get the glassed over look - at lunch today it was "talk about maladies and the ho-hums of being pregnant" .... and about a great new movie that is coming out that everyone in my office cant wait to go see ..... called KNOCKED UP ... First thought .....really we should all go run out there and by tickets in advance to boost the ratings. Second thought- In all honesty, its probably a very funny comedy, I just have lost my sense of humor - if anyone finds it wondering around .. contact me so we can arrange for it to be returned.

I took JJ's advice and watched Facing the Giants - it is a very spiritual movie and I was touched by the storyline. I was raised in church all my life and I know, I do not always grasp the concept of the power of prayer. Alot of the time, I just think selfishly or judementally or that no one is hearing my prayers. There are times that we never get to see our prayer requests come to fruition. That's when I get discouraged and lose faith. Instead of praying differently, I just take my bitterness and go home. I am glad I got to watch it. It has challenged me.