Sunday, September 28, 2008

Are We onto something

I am not going to lie .. I am almost scared to even type this .. I am sitting at my dining room table.. Dishes done a load of laundry in, I am showered and dressed, I have on deodorant and I have brushed my teeth ... ..Where is my son you ask? .. MT is on the floor "talking" to the toys on his floor gym ... He has been there for 35 mins .. Just playing and being absolutely content.

I am also afraid to mention that the past 5 (ish) days have all resembled each other. (i am refraining from using that S word for my sanity.) Because I would not want to fool anyone into thinking that maybe..just maybe We have one of those ...

My sister is getting married very soon and We were planning her shower yesterday morning. I left MT with my dad for a few hours. It was the second time I have left him. (ok, i was only 1 house away ....but I left him regardless) In that amount of time i managed to spill the beans about how I am having real trouble with the daycare option. I cried my first public tear over the discussion of I have no idea how I am going to do that. I am supposed to go back to work the first week in Dec. and I am dreading it. .... ok changing subjects before i start to cry ...

I am concerned with my hormones ....Can they take almost 3.5 months to dump? This week has been a very rough week for me emotionally ... I can cry over just about anything this week... and I have ....

Ack...the floor gym has lost it's appeal.....

19 comments:

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

YAY! That's great about MT. I feel the same way...we are finally starting to set up a nap schedule with Lemy and I swear it has made my life so much easier...and its made her a happier baby, which is lovely. I feel you on daycare. I dread leaving her every.single.day. I don't know if its hormones so much as it just sucks ass to have to go back to work. Bleh.

Thinking of you. ((HUGS))

Mountain Girl said...

Maybe you could find a nanny to come to your house and watch MT or another Mommy who has a baby about MT's age so they can start playing/socializing. I am sure it's hard thinking of leaving him at a daycare. But, find someone that clicks for you and MT.

seussgirl said...

Not using the S-word. :)
I don't know about 3.5 months, but I definitely hit a low point a month or two after they came home, and it still hits me sometimes, so I think it's definitely understandable.
Good job on "leaving" him for a bit! It's hard isn't it? We just put the boys in the nursery for the first time last week at church, and we kept an eye on our pager the whole time!

Nurse Lochia said...

Hormones suck, don't they?! I swear mine are still out of whack. I don't know if it's breastfeeding, or just being a mom. I feel you there. The whole daycare thing is scary at first. All I can say is that the first day was the absolute worst of it all. I think it gets easier after that first day. I still wish that I didn't have to send my kids to daycare, but they have a good time playing with kids their age.

Jen said...

Awesome job MT! It's great to kinda get into a routine, especially after the first 3 non routine months. They say the first three months are like the "4th trimester", in that they just need to eat and sleep a lot in any random order. We've also seen some routines, but that's all going to be thrown away this week while we're travelling. I'm also feeling pretty hormonal and tired, I'm on the bcp, but if I wasn't I'd suspect something could be up. (even though the dh and I have only met up a couple of times.) Blah blah blah... Have a great week Farah, I'll be in your neck of the woods.

bethkyle said...

I am fearing the whole daycare issue before I have even given birth. My company doesn't allow for more than 6 weeks. I can do two days at home, but I have seen my coworkers come back after their first child and it was so hard. Recently a friend of mine offered to watch her, and I am seriously considering it. It won't be me though, and I am really worried about how hard it will be....I'm with you there...

A New Beginning said...

I wanted to let you know about the emotions. Mine got so bad, I went to the dr about it. I am not sure what happened. But he gave me medicine to fix it and it has seemed to help. So no, you are not alone in it taking longer.

Leaving your child at daycare is one of the hardest things to do so far. But, I have realized, baby girl will learn so much more being there, then she will with me. I am just not that creative. Plus, she has great caregivers, and that makes a huge difference.

I am sure you will figure out what is best for you and your family.

Amelia Sprout said...

My PPD hit around the time I went back to work, at around 3-4 months, so it could be that. It takes that long to get over the high sometimes. If you're open to, I would see your Dr. Looking back I wish that I had gotten the drugs before I went back to work.

Barb said...

xoxo

My_Herstory said...

Good for the little guy!
Wishing you the best preparing for daycare and work. That would definately be hard.

Photogrl said...

Kudos for maybe getting close to that "S" word! Great job, MT!

As for daycare, it is HARD to leave them. But I think it makes me appreciate the time I have with my daughter more, you know what I mean?

It could totally be the hormones...{{HUGS}} to you!

Courtney said...

I am so jealous that you have hit the 's' stage! We are currently in the 'u' stage - unpredictable.

:)

Wordgirl said...

I'm with the conventional wisdom here - hormones are such a powerful chemical thing -- don't hesitate to talk to your doctor -- you are not alone and I've read that for some reason when you have a boy the hormones affect you more??

XO

Pam

Kristen said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry the hormones are still with you. They love to torture us at just the right time. I know leaving MT is going to be one of the hardest things you've ever done. But you WILL get through it. Trust me. It is ok to cry and you will. But you will survive. And you'll begin a new routine and appreciate your time with him soooooooo much more, if you ever thought that was possible. (((HUGS)))

I am quite jealous of the sleep schedule. My little man still likes to keep me guessing. But you give me hope that in a few weeks, that may change! :)

Topcat said...

Farah, I LOVE it when they can amuse themselves ... for more than, oh, 2 minutes!!

I'm sorry about the daycare situation, and I truly hope it goes ok, in the coming months.

Thank you for your kind comments to my hubbie .. I really appreciate the love.

XOX

T-Mommy said...

Going back to work is not easy at all, but it can be done, I promise it gets better each day.

I was asking myself the same question about my hormones because I am STILL very emmotional... I guess motherhood changes a whole lot about our lives and we are actually living a WHOLE new life, therefore a whole new US.

Morrisa said...

Sounds like all is going well. I am already dreading going back to work and baby isn't even here yet!

Elle Charlie said...

Showered, chores done, teeth brushed? You are mother to an absolute angel! Or, you are SuperMother. It's win win!

Sorry to hear about daycare and going back to work - that does totally suck. Are there other options? Know, though, that even if you can't be with him 8 hours every day, you are still mom, and mom is #1 always.

Malloryn said...

It's very exciting that there are signs of "S"! He gets cuter with each picture you post.

The thought of leaving him at daycare must be SO hard. I hope you're able to find something that works for you.