Parenting is a Contact Sport

A light bulb just switched on a few minutes ago: {Set up the Scene to describe our past month}

Gman (yes we do call him Gman, or G Money) has learned to walk ..... This REALLY frustrates A. G is into Every.Thing ..... He is quite a curious 13 mon old. Yes (he will be 13 months in 5 days) ...

A is very distraught over Gman's new found skills and independence. Gman is distraught over A's dominates over his life.

So, if you are hearing a ringing in your ears, It's from all the screaming, yelling and tantrums that have been going on here. From ALL Parties. We are entering a new territory I was not at all prepared for. I don't know Why ... It's not like I couldn't see it coming, But I am shocked at how illl prepared I am for this. I feel like I need a Super Bowl Stadium amount of Patience ... And I only have a high school gym amount.

It's been taxing is so much of an understatement. I am constantly reminded that the 2yr, 1yr old is the worst age combination and to just hang in there, And that is what I am doing.

BUT, E said something today that made so much more sense than anything I have read thus far: "A, I am going to show you love right now". (he was acting out and mauling over his brother and just agitating him)

We have tried spankings, time-outs, taking toys/privileges, rationalizing, explaining, etc.. We have tried SO much ... and the only thing we have accomplished is Frustration for everyone.

E is right, I need to give him LOVE .. It is so simple but I missed the application ..I was trying to be stern and teach him a lesson ..but with Negativity and it was only creating more and more negativity .... This may not work w Gman, BUT A is a different breed. A light came on when I heard E say that he was going to show A how to love and give him some Love through the difficult time. Simple, To the Point and Hopefully effective

More Transitions

We were chugging along the past yr. But I have hit a bit of a bump in the road with our loose daily routine. We are not clock watchers and I am ok with that. I am not a strict enforcer of routine but we do maintain as little chaos as possible. My children do not respond well to strict anything - it has a very adverse effect on accomplishing the task if I get too strict. What I am looking to see how others managed to helped the transition from 3, to 2, to 1 nap with the 1 yr old and have it match up or overlap with the 2 yr old.

G has been taking 3 (cat) naps for a while and now wants 2 (1 short 30 min nap in the am and 1 2hr nap that sometimes may or maynot overlaps A's afternoon nap) . G is VERY strong-willed and when he wants a nap - He wants/needs a nap NOW. I have tried to push through but end up letting him nap because he is a screaming crier. But what ends up happening is I am stuck at home in nap mode from 11-5 with both kids napping that fills up 11-5.

So if you have been through this and can help suggest some tips, I would love help. Or maybe I just need reassurance that "this too shall pass" .... I just miss the adult connections that you get at playdates, running errands and just leaving your house. Since my husband is gone a lot and with most playdates happening from 10-1 or 3-6, Everything is happening while we are stuck at home in nap mode and when it is not nap time, it is so late we have to ger dinner done, then it's bath/bed time ..... Leaving little time for running errands and leaving the house. Which is counter-productive to a clean/tidy house.

I am really craving adult conversation and my house is never getting tidy due to having at least 1 child up most of the day and needing entertaining all the waking hrs of the day. At night, I am so exhausted, with little motivation to clean or too overwhelmed to clean.

thanks in advance and thank you for just having such a great group of moms that I feel comfortable sharing/getting help w/ some parenting stressers.

edited to add more info:

Don't be fooled, We do have a "schedule", We aren't out wandering around with the kids ruling the function of my day. I had a daily rhythm going, and it was going quite well until recently, Thus, my dismay of now entering a phase were our rhythm we had is not working. G is extremely fussy, needy and somewhat overwhelming dependent which is ironic because he is doing this in order to try and declare his Independence , more so than A ever was at this age. A is just now hitting a patch where he too is trying to declare his Independence and I am trying to parent the best I can and still allow them to grow their personalities under order and keep our daily life as functional as possible with as less friction as possible.

I also suspect G is finally teething

I am just interested as many responses as possible. The good thing about raising children is everyone w/ or w/o has an opinion - So I figured everyone would love an opportunity to chime in and I would get many different responses and find/try tips that will help us. Because, it does take a village and there are many different ways to get the same goal which is happy momma, happy kids.

I know I am not inventing the wheel here and I think I am just looking for tips that others did/wish they did or learned along the way to ensure the best way to work through and cope through transitional phases and maintain a bit of sanity and less damage to the kids along the way. I supremely hate having unhappiness and chaos for most of our day because Momma/children have a learning curve to adjust to. It seems that for the first year. the transitions seem to be faster and quicker because I swear the whole first yr IS all transitional. But now, we (garrison) are changing less and seem to be trying to find more of a steady rhythm and struggling and I am low on creativity of things to try

Crazy up in here!

Far too long of a hiatus! I am missing me some good blog creatin/readin. I miss reading and hearing from the blogosphere! Thank God for FB. It seems all i have had time for lately is less than 140 characters .. So twitter has been out too.

Life with 2 under 2 and a husband that works an unconventional job. It's like the Song about the Old Woman that Swallowed a fly, then swallowed a spider to catch the fly, then swallowed a bird to catch the spider to catch the fly, Etc... It's Constant!

Well, Let's sorta back it up a bit.

I did get an IUD. My dr suggested that I get Paragua.rd. It contains no hormone at all. The reason I could only have an IUD as a birth control form is because I have a blood clotting issue therefore all forms of pills/shots and things of the like are out. It had nothing to do with breastfeeding but more for my health and the risks of developing blood clots. There were some minor complications at first, but now things are perfectly fine and I have no idea that it is there and things are going smooth.

Oh the stories, 2 under 2 ... Sometimes they are completely hilarious, other time, they are not hilarious but laughing is much better than crying.

The reason I had to stop blogging for a while is because I am very transparent and for safety reasons I did not feel comfortable to have it all out there. And I have a hard time not sharing and putting it all out there. The situation (Oh and i think of Jersey Shore EVERYTIME I say or hear the word Situation) was that E was working nights. Which meant that he slept during the day and we lived in very tight quarters so I had to leave the house for the most part of the day so that he could get sleep and the children and I did not have to worry about disrupting his sleeping. If we did stay home we were cooped up in one room and no outside. THIS is NO WAY TO LIVE. We were renting and the landlord would not let me out of my contract nor would she let me sub lease - therefore we had to grin/bear it until our lease was up ..Which is NOW! i tried to grin and bear it with a lot of class/grace and positivity but I allowed it to drag me down often in the wee hours of the mornings when I was up doing the laundry/cleaning/food preparing while the children were sleeping in order to prepare to leave the next morning so my husband could get good rest. We all hated it ..But there is a Light at the end of the tunnel and My life will soon resemble somewhat more of a simplistic, normalish lifestyle. And then I can tell you all about MT's (who will be 2 in 2 weeks) new found ways of communicating, his great stories that he comes up with and how much he adores his baby brother ( who is 6 months now) WHOA - time is flying!


We are in the process of moving to a house that was built in 1938. It is registered as a historical home and I cannot wait to take loads of pictures. Think Brick Kitchen Walls and original Hardwood Floors! A-Mazing and I am so freaking excited. There are 2 covered porches and my very own backyard! I am giddy as a schoolgirl! My life is about to become so much more manageable with my very own house and backyard!.

Reader tells me I have over 2000+ reads to play catch up and I doubt that will happen, So fill me in, What's new!

Before I go, I will give you a lil MT/2.0 story. Last night after Dinner, MT tells me that 2.0 pooped in MT's diaper. ...... MT is already blaming 2.0 for things. WOW does that start young!

Of course you want to see pictures:

A Whole New Level

When I found out I was pregnant with 2.0, I was shocked beyond shocked beyond shocked. I did not handle myself as graceful as I would have liked. My thoughts/emotions were all over the place. Rocked to the Core. Mad, Sad, Happy, Shocked, excited, scared ... Mostly Scared ... Scared of losing friends, Scared of losing the baby, scared of what would happen to MT, scared of how I would provide for another body, Scared of how will I care for a newborn and a toddler if this pregnancy makes it .... I was scared and tired.
When I gave birth to MT, I told myself that I needed to step up and move on. Remember being pregnant but not expect it to ever happen again. In my mind, I wanted myself to mourn the thoughts of adding to our family.In the hospital, right after his delivery, I had talked to E about mentally preparing myself for never being pregnant again. I was trying to work through all those feelings/desires/dreams. I had MT and I made deals about "if only's" and I was ready to cash in my part of the deal because MT arrived safely,happily and healthy. This is what I asked for .. he was here and I was ready to own up to all those promises and deals I had offered up to the Universe. I was trying to make good on my request or deal per se.

Also, MT was 7 month's old and starting to be mobile and teething, OH the teething .. and the sleepless nights and the adjustment from no babies to 1 baby and learning to lose my selfishness and trying to find time to be that wife/house keeper, daughter, sister I used to be.... Then We found out. I panicked. I FREAKED OUT. I had no idea how to be honest with myself or anyone at that matter. I was Torn up over this. Basically ALL based on Fear. Fear is MEAN and gripping.

Getting pregnant, while breastfeeding, after yrs of infertility was humbling. Frightening, Exciting, Moving, Unsure of where I fit in, Where it meant I fit in ..Etc. I felt like I was going to be "kicked out of the club" .. And to some, I have been kicked out.. That's what makes the world go round. Everyone feels differently about this stuff and I am ok with that.

I say all of this because - Here I am, in a weird predicament Again. Birth Control. Do I need it? Do I want it? What if this is my chance to get pregnant again? What if I don't take measures to prevent it, Will I expect to get pregnant again? What If I do not get pregnant again and we do not prevent it? What if we prevent it and I do not get pregnant after we decided to try again? What if we try to prevent it and we get pregnant anyway? It's flirtatious. A tease. A Taunt. It takes your mind to questions that I NEVER thought I would have to ask/answer. And if I try to avoid my mind, People will ask: "Do you want more kids?" You going for that "girl"? "You need to try for a girl!" "Oh, You need a few more".

So here I am, Trying to ignore these thoughts. Appointment made Friday for an IUD because it is my only option for BC that my dr will give me.

Pictures

and since i am a terrible blogger - I will sprinkle you with a few phone pics:

Can you Hear it?

Today is a good day - I have it all together, I've had a shower (by myself), My kids slept in late (because we are just getting over Both of them having RSV again and 2.0 adding an ear infection to boot) BUT life is great. I feel rested and put together. What a huge difference it makes. I need to try to have more mornings like this.

I have a question - Intenets, PLEASE HALP!... My ears are ringing from MT;s new found favorite Olympic Sport. Screaming .. Skin Crawling, blood curdling, Ear Percing Screaming. What you didn't know it's an Olympic sport? Tell that to my Child. He is practicing and practicing to perfect it. I am afraid there isn't much more perfecting it I can take. Here I admit it, At first, I yelled back at himto stop yelling ..Fabulous Mothering style right.... I mean I can't imagine Why he continues yelling when his own Mother yells at him to stop yelling .... OY VEY! Parenting Fail 101. I certainly can teach that course. So now, after a few weeks of loosing my mind and trying to ignore it, I have variations of routes I have gone about getting him to stop. BUT NONE are working. Of course, I have stopped yelling (99.9% of the time but there is still .1% of the time that I just loose my cool and yell) I have tried to calming explain that mommie was wrong for yelling and yelling aka screaming is not nice nor a behavior that is acceptable or will be tolerated or will help you get your way in this house.

I mostly try my very best to ignore it because, I have found that ignored behavior for him works best. BUT I can't always just ignore it because he is waking the baby. Yes he is that LOUD. Some times I think he does it to wake the baby - which I have tried to explain to him that it is not beneficial for him to wake the baby it takes away mommie/mt time .....

Any suggestions? What would you do

Giving Her Publicity, Like She wants

I can't even articulate my feelings for this story - but I wanted to share it.

Padded

Anyone found a great cloth diaper that love to use for those long lean/skinny legged babies? I am having a problem finding the right diaper for 2.0

I have fu.zzibunz OS, bg3.0's, app.lecheeks, gdi.apers and some odd and in's that were giving to me.

Anyone use the grobaby one's have any feed back? I'd love to hear from you or if you know of someone that uses them, I'd love to hear from them. Please HALP

Tackling Life

* i do not tell this for pity/sympathy. I tell this because I know many of my readers are about to encounter life with 2. And I want to document what I feel/see/experience. This is my first real weaning experience. MT self weaned breastfeeding, Bottles feeding, etc...

Well Yesterday MT upped the playing field. It is one of the first times that he has been jealous of 2.0 relating to me. Before now, his jealousy was mostly with my father. If my father was holding 2.0, My father would have to make sure that MT knew that he still loved him too. It was never really terrible and very easily fixable.

But Yesterday - We had the same morning as we normally had except this time - When 2.0 woke up for his next feed/diaper change, MT lost control. We were playing ball at the time. So I brought the ball with us while we changed 2.0's diaper, I could still throw the ball back and forth. I threw the ball and told MT to go get it while I changed the diaper. He decided that he was going to get my attention by ripping off as many of his hanging clothes in his closet as possible while I changed the diaper. Then while I was nursing 2.0, MT tried everything in his power to get my attention off the baby. I have no real explanation on why he waited 2.5 months to display jealousy toward me and baby. But here are my theories:

It's just been us (me, MT, and 2.0) for a while now. E has gone back to working a really crappy schedule that interupts our lives. So MT may not get to see his daddy every day. Some days he sees him for 1 hr, others not at all, and sometime he is home for a weekend. We had just come off a weekend of seeing E. MT is also is a developmental explosion. His cognetive, verbal and motor skills are exploding. I could not even attempt to list the things that he is capable of doing right now. He pretty much can conquer the world. ALL.OF.IT! 2.0 is also starting to wake up and want to play more. 2.0 is more alert, demanding a bit more of my attention then previous days of lots of sleeping and MT is starting to figure this out also.

Don't get me wrong, MT loves to hold his brother (which I love to let him do) He wants to hold himand have me take their pictures together. He loves to kiss him and help change diapers and all that. He covers him up with blankets and will help me get him dressed. I incorporate him and baby with as much as possible. It takes longer, it can get annoying and pushes my patience. BUT I am trying my best to not have to fight the jealousy monster with a 20 month old. We have plenty of battles to fight.

After the day we had yesterday, You would think I am insane for what I decided to do. I decided to take away MT's beloved Paci around 11am. He actually has all 20 teeth now. The top 2 two yr molars are coming in now. These were the last ones we were waiting on. But the reason we are in Paci Boot Camp is because he bit the silicone nipple off 2 paci's yesterday. I was going to approach it stages but ended up going all out. No more Paci! When he bit it off I knew that was the end. I explained to him that the Paci's were going Bye Bye and threw them all away as he watched. (*i am not sure he REALLY understood that was the end) Yesterday naptime/bedtime was not that rough. Todays Naptime was a STRUGGLE. There was awful screaming for 1 hr...... I feel as if I approached the situation wrong with Him today at naptime. He is a very smart tot. He asked for it a few times today and I explained that he bit it off and it had to go bye bye and he was a big boy and no longer needed it. But at naptime I tried the "donot mention THAT word and he will not think of them" approach. This turned out to be the wrong approach. After he calmed down, I went in and explained to him that the paci was gone and was not coming back. He calmed down, I held/rocked/bounced him to sleep. And we drifted off to dreamland. I Cried. Last night I was just thinking as I was holding 2.0 to sleep how I missed holding MT to sleep.... And today I got to hold him to sleep. I just held him in my arms and cried tears of joy for that amazing experience to Hold MT to sleep. I am so blessed to be his Mom. I forget that inteh midst of the rough days .. But today I remember!

Cloth Diapers on Ellen

There is a contest going for those Cloth Diapering Moms:

I would love to see Ellen have a spot for Cloth Diapering Families. it's Very Green, Economical and Informative. Cloth Diapering is not as hard as people make it and I'd love to see more demonstrations to show the world that it can be very simple.

Juggling

Man, I miss blogging, It helped me remember, organized and kept me somewhat sane along with many other therapeutic qualities. I am sure I will regain control of my life at some point but right now, the time that I find available for blogging is trumped by the need to either: pick up toys, clean up the mess, take a shower (which could include cleaning up the mess), sleeping, washing laundry, feeling guilty about disciplining MT repetitively, enforcing Time outs, trying to keep everyone attended to and somewhat happy, and trying to keep up with my tivo. Here I'll start with a picture:




This past month has flown by. MT got Rs.v and had to have breathing treatments every 4 hrs for a few days and then was put on antibiotics for a sinus infection. This was the second time in his life taking antibiotics. The first time (around 9 mons), He had night terrors, but the dr's office thought It was just a fluke, but after 3 doses this time, he developed night terrors again and I had to take him off of it and find something.

We are still trying to find a pattern for life that works for us. Many people have asked about jealousy and MT. I still do not think that there are many jealous tendencies from him. Don't get me wrong, that does not mean that he is a perfect angel and never attempts to throw toys at him or sit on him - It just, to me, is no different then he was before the baby arrived. MT hit the "terrible two's" somewhere around 14 months. Tantrums, OH the tantrums! He gets better and better with his tantrum performance every day. Emmy Quality! At almost 20 months (yes he is almost 20 months, WHAT!) He has the tantrums pretty much perfected. I have yet to find a way to discipline him that gets his attention best. I try, but he is just exploring hid rights and limitations. I just have to stay consistent and do my best. Which lately has not been my best. It has included alot of screaming and crying ..... From both of us. At 20 months, he understands ALOT. The problem with that, He still does not use words much. But BOY Can he Talk. He tries, he will "tell" you all kinds of things. He "tells" me plenty in sounds strung together to sound like sentences - and hopefully for my sake there are some words or cues that I understand so I can figure out what he is telling me. But this is where he/we gets frustrated alot. He wants me to understand/I want to understand but do not always understand him ..or it takes me longer to understand him that he wanted. I am contemplating speech therapy but may give it a few more months to see what he develops. His desire to communicate has exploded over the past month and I am working with him to see if I can help first. He also has an interest in using the potty. So we are working on this too. He is tall enough to reach counters, cabinets, shelves and if he is n ot tall wnough, He knows to climb on chairs and such to make him taller. He is SMART and Fast. The other day,I was feeding 2.0 and found MT pushing up a chair to the fridge to get his own ice and water from the outside door compartment. and even with his tantrums and days of outburst, he still has me wrapped around his finger. Man, I love how much life lessons he teaches me.

2.0 is doing well. He is doing great bfing. He still hates the paci but loves to suck, so we are still attempting to become acquainted with the paci. He still has a hard time sleeping unless being held/in a sling. He LOVES to be talked to. He has the biggest whole face toothless grin that makes my heart melt. He is generally a very happy baby. (unless in his carseat) He does sleep in blocks of 4 ish hours at night. So as long as MT is sleeping, I have been able to get a 4 hr chunk of sleep at times.

Both of mine come with very short fuses though. If they want something, they want it 5 mins ago! MT is almost done with teething and I could not be more excited. Teething, for us, has been pretty awful. He has 2 more 2yr molars to get, then he will be all done. I do not think it will be much longer waiting because those areas already have swollen gums.

Life with 2, is a balancing act. Some days start with both crying at the same time and other days everything just seems to be seamless and boosts my confidence for the times that are not so seamless. I try to keep things in perspective, keep great company and continue trying to find a groove that works best for us. Honestly, this is the hardest thing I have ever done in life. Somedays it's all fun and games and somedays it's worse than a trip to the dentist. But, I am determined to raise good, polite, wellrounded, enjoyable, fun loving boys and have the most fun we can have doing it. 99.9% of the time, I feel honored and blessed to have this opportunity, the other .1% takes over on the rough days, We just push through those days, get through bedtime and start with a clean slate the next day.

New Year, New Terrain

Hi, My name is Terrible Blogger. Merry Holidays and Happy New Year!



Life with 2. Uhm... Busy! MT is almost 19 months and we refer to the new lil one as 2.0. 2.0 is almost 6 weeks.

MT is actually a very big fan of his lil brother. This has helped me so much. MT is my baby monitor. If the "beh beeh beeeh beeh" (french sounding MT speak for Baby) moves, farts, whimpers, breathes MT is there to make sure that he is ok. He loves to give 2.0 kisses and hugs.



E was off work for ~5weeks so I was very lucky. 4 arms for 2 babies. It was the holidays so he took a few extra weeks of leave. it was actually our first Christmas with E not working. He took knew that once he started back working, I would have no help from him anymore. He works weird hours that basically do not allow him to help around the house or with the kids until these extra few weeks so that we could actually have a family Christmas and also because we all is schedule changes. Hopefully in July He will be able to change things around so he can be home to help and spend time with us.



BF is still going well. It has been a challenge to BF and still try to wrangle a VERY energetic toddler. I have never at all considered or understood energy drinks until MT learned to move. I have decided that my son is the reason those drinks exist. And I still have not had one. I learned a few tricks is that you give him a snack/toy/tv show/insert whatever distraction that he really enjoys that he ONLY gets when you are BF-ing the baby. This has helped us some. Other times, I have learned to BF in a sling and Run after him.



My mother had to be admitted in the hospital Monday. After a few days and a few tests were performed, they discovered ulcers in her stomach. They think it is from worrying and stress and a terrible eating habit. But she is out of the hospital and hopefully start listening to us to find an outlet for stress and take better care of herself



Since he has returned back to work, Some days I know I am not equipped for this, Other days it seems to go w/o a glitch. I have only had 1 melt down and a few freak outs! But in the end, It's over little things that do not matter in the long term.



Since I am a bad blogger Leave a comment on where you are in your Life so I can play Catch Up and delete my thousands of unread posts.