* i do not tell this for pity/sympathy. I tell this because I know many of my readers are about to encounter life with 2. And I want to document what I feel/see/experience. This is my first real weaning experience. MT self weaned breastfeeding, Bottles feeding, etc...
Well Yesterday MT upped the playing field. It is one of the first times that he has been jealous of 2.0 relating to me. Before now, his jealousy was mostly with my father. If my father was holding 2.0, My father would have to make sure that MT knew that he still loved him too. It was never really terrible and very easily fixable.
But Yesterday - We had the same morning as we normally had except this time - When 2.0 woke up for his next feed/diaper change, MT lost control. We were playing ball at the time. So I brought the ball with us while we changed 2.0's diaper, I could still throw the ball back and forth. I threw the ball and told MT to go get it while I changed the diaper. He decided that he was going to get my attention by ripping off as many of his hanging clothes in his closet as possible while I changed the diaper. Then while I was nursing 2.0, MT tried everything in his power to get my attention off the baby. I have no real explanation on why he waited 2.5 months to display jealousy toward me and baby. But here are my theories:
It's just been us (me, MT, and 2.0) for a while now. E has gone back to working a really crappy schedule that interupts our lives. So MT may not get to see his daddy every day. Some days he sees him for 1 hr, others not at all, and sometime he is home for a weekend. We had just come off a weekend of seeing E. MT is also is a developmental explosion. His cognetive, verbal and motor skills are exploding. I could not even attempt to list the things that he is capable of doing right now. He pretty much can conquer the world. ALL.OF.IT! 2.0 is also starting to wake up and want to play more. 2.0 is more alert, demanding a bit more of my attention then previous days of lots of sleeping and MT is starting to figure this out also.
Don't get me wrong, MT loves to hold his brother (which I love to let him do) He wants to hold himand have me take their pictures together. He loves to kiss him and help change diapers and all that. He covers him up with blankets and will help me get him dressed. I incorporate him and baby with as much as possible. It takes longer, it can get annoying and pushes my patience. BUT I am trying my best to not have to fight the jealousy monster with a 20 month old. We have plenty of battles to fight.
After the day we had yesterday, You would think I am insane for what I decided to do. I decided to take away MT's beloved Paci around 11am. He actually has all 20 teeth now. The top 2 two yr molars are coming in now. These were the last ones we were waiting on. But the reason we are in Paci Boot Camp is because he bit the silicone nipple off 2 paci's yesterday. I was going to approach it stages but ended up going all out. No more Paci! When he bit it off I knew that was the end. I explained to him that the Paci's were going Bye Bye and threw them all away as he watched. (*i am not sure he REALLY understood that was the end) Yesterday naptime/bedtime was not that rough. Todays Naptime was a STRUGGLE. There was awful screaming for 1 hr...... I feel as if I approached the situation wrong with Him today at naptime. He is a very smart tot. He asked for it a few times today and I explained that he bit it off and it had to go bye bye and he was a big boy and no longer needed it. But at naptime I tried the "donot mention THAT word and he will not think of them" approach. This turned out to be the wrong approach. After he calmed down, I went in and explained to him that the paci was gone and was not coming back. He calmed down, I held/rocked/bounced him to sleep. And we drifted off to dreamland. I Cried. Last night I was just thinking as I was holding 2.0 to sleep how I missed holding MT to sleep.... And today I got to hold him to sleep. I just held him in my arms and cried tears of joy for that amazing experience to Hold MT to sleep. I am so blessed to be his Mom. I forget that inteh midst of the rough days .. But today I remember!
11 comments:
Poor MT. It's hard not to be the only center of the universe all of a sudden. Plus to be almost two and trying to figure life out. But this is a short term in what will be a great brother relationship.
Want to hang out soon? I miss you guys and I haven't seen 2.0 since he was new and shiny.
Cold turkey always works! Glad you got that special nap time with MT.
Sounds like you are doing great. I can't imagine two at different levels. It must be terribly difficult but rewarding. God, I miss holding my big girls, too.
Aw, it made me tear up to read about your sweet moment with MT. Probably what you both needed!
I have seen girlfriends try the graduated and cold turkey approach on the paci - and the cold turkey IS hard, but more effective and like a quick death vs. a slow, painful one. The graduated approach seems to take FOREVER and then, they still ultimately have to do cold turkey at the end, giving up whatever it was they were last allowing the paci for.
Even though you didn't want sympathy, I still am sending you hugs. I can't imagine how difficult it is to manage two (though I will soon know).
Filing this one away for future reference. Thank you so much Farah for sharing this experience.
Those boys are lucky to have such a wonderful mama. :)
I am so sorry you've had a rough few days! I hope the next few are much easier!
I can only imagine how exhausted you are...
The paci thing will get better, I promise.
You're doing great, Farah!
It makes you wish there was another you to step in. If only we could.
Luke does the same sorts of things, although it has gotten better as Emily has gotten older. It's hard and it's easy to forget that your toddler is really a baby himself, in many ways..... Just know that someone in TX is thinking of you and feeling your pain! :)
I can see life with 2 is going to be quite a challenge. Wonderful, but a challenge nonetheless.
Through all your struggles of raising two under two, you still appreciate the beautiful moments. This just brought tears to my eyes.
Congratulations on kicking the paci so easily!!
Once again I must say it...two born close together is much harder than twins!!! You guys are the ones that deserve the "you've got your hands full" comments!
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