Saturday, March 28, 2009

Disjointed

This post is going to be all over the place - Just a warning. If you aren't in a great place - Skip to the red - come back later if you wish or just skip it all together - I have been trying to blog about Life for like weeks now. But Life gets in the way, I forget and then the moments are lost.

Vacuum that sucks - why is it that my baby can pickup dirt on my carpet but my vacuum can't? I bought a new vacuum a few months ago. It's a Eureka, I hate it - any suggestions that aren't the Dys.on - I can't afford that option.


My friend who knew I had a blog but didn't know the exact url found my blog this week while googling antibi.otics and ni.ght ter.rors. She called to tell me that she thought she found someone having the same problem as us then realized that this had to be my blog - We had a good laugh over that. I told her I appreciated her telling me and also trying to help me.

Venting - blowing off steam. Because I am here to keep it real. 9 month milestone no one mentions:

These past few weeks have been challenging in so many levels. I would say about a month ago, We hit a huge milestone. One that I haven't read much about yet (too tired) and no blogs that I follow talked about it. MT has decided that if E is home, ONLY E WILL DO. The first few times, I thought this was cute/funny. E was proud that MT only wanted Daddy. E works 12 hours. Drives home and MT will ONLY have daddy do it. If I try to do whatever task needs to be done and E is home, he screams, protests, has a hissy fit, did I mention screaming in protest? So, yah, Not so cute anymore. The newness has worn off and E is not flattered anymore. Anyone see where this is headed? E then procedes to say the unsavory phrase that sums up: I am tired, I worked all day, You stayed home, you deal with him .... I remind him that ME dealing with him is why he is protesting loudly. This lil conversation goes on, hurtful words are thrown at eachother and then the morning is new and the day tends to be on repeat. I try to get everything regarding MT doen before E gets home so this isn't such a demand on either. Then there were ear infections, cranky days, and sleepless nights of what i still think was medically induced nig.ht te.rrors. I am not a person that holds grudges - but I have a hard time "getting over" hurtful words. Even if I know they were said in the heat of the moment. So maybe I hold some from of a grudge.

Another 9 month milestone that has been brought by the letter F for frustration is: MT found the body part that makes him a male. (can't wait for google to hit on that one). Every.Diaper.Change. The first morning diaper change is always a poopy one. Good Morning Momma! Some mornings, It takes 20 mins to change his diaper and clean up the mess from changing his diaper! It's a wrestling match and I do not have enough arms. I am struggling. Any suggestions?

No is starting to get understood, othertimes, No is a very funny joke.

Sleep regression, Ear Infection, Teething, Meds, whatever else - We seem to be on an upswing. Last night MT woke up at midnight made some noise, and soothed himself back to sleep. Today was his last dose of meds. I hope things only get better from here.

They have to because, Sunday ( i think or maybe Saturday) I lost my mind. MT was doing his 'only want daddy' routine, daddy was doing his 'but it's my day off' routine and I was stuck in the middle pleasing no one. I broke. I cried so hard, it felt great! I haven't cried that hard in years. It felt cleansing. It started out very toxic, I freaked out my baby. Sleep deprivation is serious!

This week, we have spent several days outside. I am a huge believer in healing powers of the sun/air. We went ge.ocach.ing with some of our friends. It is Such fun. There are toddler boys that are "treasure hunting" and they truly enjoy when a cache is found. There are prizes in some of the boxes. You can take something, but you are requested to leave a like item for the next people who find it. I really suggest looking up your neighborhood and seeing if there are any caches in your area. Take a walk and try to find some. Let me know if you ever do it.

23 comments:

uncomplicateme said...

HOLY HANNAH. I just typed the world's longest comment and blogger ate it. and now i don't remember it. it was about vacuums and babies.

You're doing great though. That's pretty much what it amounted to .xoxo

Road Blocks and Roller Coasters said...

I'm curious to know what types of suggestions you get for the vacuum as we need a new one too and a Dyson is out of the question.

As for the milestones, I am thinking of you, sweetie. Its so hard when they are going through the actual growth of the milestone. I hope that the craziness passes soon and that things settle down. Hang in there--you're doing an amazing job. ((LOTS OF HUGS))

Heather said...

Yes, we have that same argument over at our house too. BigP also works 12 hour days. Me - 24 hour days. Yet, he needs a break.

Katherine LOVES Daddy. No matter how horrible a day she has had with me, when he walks in she is all smiles. Makes me feel like poo. Daddy seems to make everything better.

I don't know how to make everyone happy and at this point no one except the baby seems happy. I can't blog about it because BigP reads my blog. I'm so frustrated. I didn't mean to vent here, sorry. I just want you to know that you aren't alone.

Kathy said...

(((HUGS))) to you Farah! Thee are definately a lot of milestones along the way that are not so fun and don't make you want to go record them in the baby book right away... Having a son I can appreciate not always knowing what to do or how to handle (pun sort of intended) discoveries like MT recently made! ;) We have always tried not to make a big deal out of it, but also explained that it is something he should try not to do in front of other people. Though I imagine we didn't talk about it until he was a bit older than MT. :)

The whole discussion of our husbands/bread winners working hard all day at their work and needing a break vs. us (as SAHMs or "domestic engineers," as a SAHD friend refers to himself) also working hard all day at home (our work) and needing a break is a hard one. I don't think there are easy answers either. Sean has definately gone through stages when he has preferred to be in the care of one of us and we did our best to get through it, sometimes appeasing him, but not always.

Anyway, hang in there. I am glad you could vent here and that I could be here to read/listen. You are in my thoughts and prayers, as always.

Please don't forget that though it isn't always easy, in fast it rarely is.. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOMMY!!! :)

Mel said...

I use a Hoover Empower and I have loved it since we got it. It's got the best suction of any affordable vacuum I've ever owned.
Glad you got your good cry in... sometimes we really just do need that. I got so many long, hard cries in this past week I think I am all cried out for at least a year.
Ha. Ya right.
*hugs*

Jen said...

Farah, who needs a vacuum when you have a 9month old. The only other suggestion is to get a hungry dog. :) I saved and saved to get a dy.son and I like it just fine, but I think there are several other vacuums that are comparable and less $. I know your pain and frustration with dh. I've been having this argument for the last 7 years. It always comes back to me feeling like I have to do everything and getting no appreciation for it. I also love when dh starts telling me in March what would be a good father's day gift.... ha! He is a great dad, but could always help me more, and be thinking about what to get me for mother's day. Anyway, I'm rambling, these are growing pains, as soon as you figure out a routine, mt will grow and change, so will your routine. Continue to be flexible and know that we are here to listen. I had a dream the other day I was in florida and got to visit with you. :)

Jen said...

Grr, I hate that. When is MY day off?

We bought our Dyson for my birthday/Christmas present on a no interest pay off plan. (And yes, my birthday and Christmas are six months apart.) I love it but it was crazy expensive. I used to have a non-Dyson that was pretty good, I'll try to remember what kind it was.

Hehe, swaddle his arms while you are changing him. :)

Nicky said...

I've had an upright Dirt Devil for years, and it's been great. No complaints.

Not sure what to tell you on the other stuff, since you're (as always) a few months ahead of us. LL seems to prefer whoever is NOT holding him at the moment. If I'm holding him, he squirms until Daddy comes over; five minutes later, he's reaching for me. So, we just play hot potato with him until we tired him out. :)

Christy said...

My sister-in-law has had the same "daddy" troubles as you. She hasn't found an answer yet either. We aren't there yet as Andrew still likes both of us the same, however, sometimes we do have issues about who is doing "more". I have no answers, I guess it just comes with the territory. I hope things get better for you soon.

As for the vacuum issue, we have a Hoover Windtunnel and I absolutely love it! We got it at Costco, which I highly recommend because their return policy is so good. Basically, you have a year to return it in case it starts not working as well.

Kim said...

I use a Eureka max. It sucks, too. Would love a dyson but yeah, I have other things to spend my money on. Sorry no help here.

I hope everything gets better on your end. Too much at once!!!!

beebles said...

I do remember my SIL talking about the same issue where only my brother would do for my nephew. I can't give you much help with the vaccum, haven't found one that really sucks and I have read bad reviews of the dyson too so I was always leary of spending so much money (that we REALLY don't have) for a vaccum. We will have to get a new one before the Zerker gets big enough to crawl around...we have so many animals, settling for our current vaccum would not cut the mustard (or the carpet dirt). Sending you loads of peace and happy baby time....

beebles said...

Oh...and about the 'needing a break' comments...um...I think that men are wired differently (duh - of course!) but I notice that my DH just decides what he is going to do and does it...whereas I have now completely changed my thought process in that everythign I do is affected by what the zerker will be doing...and I work full-time too...so he doesn't have the SAHM excuse...i am not sure how to get past it - but I can tell it is just how we are each made and not because he thinks my role should be...we have the rest of our lives to figure this out - I just hope you find a good balance for both of you....

butterflyanla said...

wow, hang in there my friend. Call me if you need someone to talk. You are awesome and I hope things get better for you.

Amanda said...

"There is no day off in this house." That's what I said to Tim. Of course saying it and it actually sinking into their heads is another story. Not to mention, you work PT and take care of MT FT (enough T acronyms for ya?). Plus the house...how much housework does he do? You just want to grab them by the shoulders and say, "This isn't the 50's mister!" :-)

You need to tell MT to quit being such a little overacheiver with all these milestones and teeth! But I keep saying it, you should have a breezy toddler time! Karma owes it to you, right?

I hope things continue to get better. (((hugs)))

sara said...

I hope the sleep continues to do better as well, and also that MT forgets that he just wants to be around his dad for now. I wonder what would be helpful. That's a tough one. I was hoping someone would chime in with past experiences. In the meantime, vent away...you know I'm always here to listen ((hugs))

seussgirl said...

We've had the same "boy" issues. At diaper changes, I try to give them a toy to distract their hands (at this point, more from pulling the dirty diaper out than from playing with parts), but at bath-time we don't worry about it. I have no idea what we'll do when they get old enough to try to explain it to them.

And I'm sorry about not getting a break. We've kind of taken a system where I get one night "off" a week. I have to actually leave the house or I end up doing what I'd normally do anyway. Unfortunately, I end up using that night for grocery shopping a lot, which isn't really a break, but sometimes I go to the library or Starbucks, or meet a friend. Is that an option for you?

Cibele said...

for me it was 10 months, it was so hard! Hugs, this too shall pass. better days will come . HUGS

hope548 said...

All of that sounds EXTREMELY stressful and I hope you truly are on the upswing. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you when your son wants his daddy to do everything. That would break my heart.

FYI, my son just hit six months old and discovered his junk about a week ago. Luckily he hasn't gotten his hand covered in poo yet, but I know it's coming. A few weeks earlier he discovered his feet and it was so cute how he'd grab his feet during a diaper change, then it changed to the boy parts and it's no longer so cute. Sometimes I worry he'll hurt himself - he's not gentle. I suppose it's just practice for a life full of crotch grabbing!

I hope things ease up on you soon!

Barb said...

I've heard great things about geocaching. Glad you enjoy it!

I'm sorry for your frustrations. With the demands on you, of course it's hard! xoxo

As for vacuums, I look on the Target reviews online before I buy stuff like that and research very carefully. This time we bought a Bissell velocity, and it's a pretty good vacuum for the price. It has a lot of power, but the hose is a bit short (though I can deal), and it can get clogged with hair/pet stuff in the hose itself fairly easily (but it's easy to fix).

GL!

Adriane said...

Sounds like 9 months is tough from a number of angles. I wish I could help. The boy stuff is funny. Sorry, I have girls and will never experience the boy stuff, so I am able to laugh. My girlfriends that have boys get so annoyed with the hands down the pants all the time. :-) You're not alone.

Vaccuum - I love my Oreck.

I am also a huge believer of the healing powers of sunshine. Just being outside helped me out of my PPD after the girls were born.

mitchsmom said...

When my first son started getting rambunctious during diaper changes, I started giving him special toy motorcycles to play with during diaper changes. They were just for that time and it worked quite well to keep him still and occupied for it.
Is there something he's really fascinated with that would grab him?

Katie said...

Oh, so hugging you from afar. Glad things are getting on the upswing . . . wish we lived closer so we could lose our minds together.

One thing I would like to know: WHEN IS YOUR DAY OFF?!?!

AJ's mommy said...

I am sorry for the things you are dealing with, but I do love that you are so real about everything. One of the many things I love about you! Makes me realize I am not alone in the world :)

Vacuums - I like this question. You always ask the questions I need to ask and never get around to it. I should have bought a dyson by now, because I have spend enough on other vacuums to amount to it. Seems like the average life span in our house is around 1.5 years. With a few dogs that is understood I guess. We just bought some type of Bissell pet hair thingy before AJ was born and it worked WONDERFUL at first. Cost about $200. Guess what... I used it last week and it is about done for. I was so mad. So now I am debating on a Dyson or a Oreck. I heard the Oreck's you can get serviced for free for awhile and then for a low cost after that. They are guaranteed, etc. They usually have dealer stores and you can take them there and get serviced etc...

I think AJ is finding that area too. He has noticed it a few times the last few days. Should be interesting!

Hopefully the only wanting E thing all the time is a phase thing. I am sure it will bounce back and forth several times throughout his childhood!