Sunday, March 13, 2011

3

So I have always heard of terrible twos and have had our share of those tantrums and whatnot that comes with the 2's package. It was Meltdown central about 19 mons -26 mons. Then it seemed we finally got a grasp of how to work through our issues before meltdown occurred. Then again around 30 months (2.5yrs) We were back at it. Meltdowns over the simplest things, hurt feelings... etc, You name it. Tears, Tears, Tears and more Tears. Stomping, squealing, flailing, head spinning tantrums.

Some days I feel like "use your words", "please do not push/steal toys/be mean to G", or "Honestly, A, What were/are you thinking" are the only things I say. AND unfortunately for me, It seems to be getting worse. Much MUCH worse.

Let's clarify - I was able at some point, in a decent amount of time, to get A to stop tantruming and focus his energy in a more positive aspect w/o an extreme amount of effort (mostly).But NOW
The behavior is worse and harder to stop in a timely manner w/ appropriate punishment. He is getting smarter. This makes it all the more challenging. He gets in these wacky funks where He becomes a big wrecking ball of fury and nothing is going to stop his demolition. He cares very little about consequences. And that is the biggest change from 2 to 3 - He does not seem to care at all about any consequence. He will do something he knows is not acceptable, look at me and say "OK , Time out" or "I made Bad decision" and STARE ME DOWN ..... and I am supposed to remain calm?!?! ..

That is my challenge. I am a yeller, I will not lie. I do not like that I yell But I do. It is instinctual, and I need to work harder at learning to stop and take time to work through these new advanced tantrums. Yelling only makes matters worse. I need to protray that ommunication is key. I am in desperate need for A to "use his words" instead of hitting, squealing, screaming and causincg a scene. And I need myself to be able to find a way to Stay calm.

7 comments:

Jen said...

Good to hear from you! I completely understand. And the other thing I can tell you is that I'm pretty sure I started having a nightly glass of wine when my boys turned 3. The good news is that around 4 it seems a little better. Does A use signs? There are some really great signs that are easy to teach. Also, I'm a yeller, I found myself yelling at N today and he turned to me and said, "mommy, your funny.." Not the response I was looking for, but put me in my place. I have learned that when I yell, they yell back. I try to use 123 magic and time outs with my boys.
~Jen
ps.. i thought your "3" was maybe an announcement for #3 hehe

HereWeGoAJen said...

Oy, I am so not looking forward to this part. Hang in there, you are bigger than him, you'll wear him down eventually. In the meantime, go for that glass of wine. :)

Rebecca said...

It's so freaking hard when they stare you down and when they get smarter. Then you sit there telling yourself that you really do want a smart kid, but this is ridiculous!

I read 1-2-3 Magic and it has helped with my adult temper tantrums...I still have them, but they are manageable and not as frequent. This parenting shit is hard, right???

oops...didn't see that a previous commenter used that book too...maybe we're onto something!

Caro said...

I shout too, and every time I tell myself I won't do it again but man nearly three is frustrating. Especially when you add in refuses to nap during the day and so tired it's not funny (plus a 4 month old)

Miss K said...

I am a yeller, too, but when I stopped yelling, so did Luke. 3 is a tough age, and I'm only about a month into it. Yikes!

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Janna said...

I'm a yeller, too, and it's so hard with the tantrums to keep acalm head. I find it hard to walk away and let whomever is screaming to continue to scream, but that's what I'm trying to do. I just want peace and happiness in the house, and I know my yelling isn't helping anyone to attain that goal. I heard about 123 Magic at MOPS last week. Now that it's been mentioned more than once, maybe that's my cue to check it out! :) Hang in there!!! I've heard it DOES indeed get better! (But I've only heard that...I have no basis for the claims as mine are 2 and 2.5). But I DO have HOPE, and that gets me out of bed the mornings after a rough day. :)