Monday, December 20, 2010

Parenting is a Contact Sport

A light bulb just switched on a few minutes ago: {Set up the Scene to describe our past month}

Gman (yes we do call him Gman, or G Money) has learned to walk ..... This REALLY frustrates A. G is into Every.Thing ..... He is quite a curious 13 mon old. Yes (he will be 13 months in 5 days) ...

A is very distraught over Gman's new found skills and independence. Gman is distraught over A's dominates over his life.

So, if you are hearing a ringing in your ears, It's from all the screaming, yelling and tantrums that have been going on here. From ALL Parties. We are entering a new territory I was not at all prepared for. I don't know Why ... It's not like I couldn't see it coming, But I am shocked at how illl prepared I am for this. I feel like I need a Super Bowl Stadium amount of Patience ... And I only have a high school gym amount.

It's been taxing is so much of an understatement. I am constantly reminded that the 2yr, 1yr old is the worst age combination and to just hang in there, And that is what I am doing.

BUT, E said something today that made so much more sense than anything I have read thus far: "A, I am going to show you love right now". (he was acting out and mauling over his brother and just agitating him)

We have tried spankings, time-outs, taking toys/privileges, rationalizing, explaining, etc.. We have tried SO much ... and the only thing we have accomplished is Frustration for everyone.

E is right, I need to give him LOVE .. It is so simple but I missed the application ..I was trying to be stern and teach him a lesson ..but with Negativity and it was only creating more and more negativity .... This may not work w Gman, BUT A is a different breed. A light came on when I heard E say that he was going to show A how to love and give him some Love through the difficult time. Simple, To the Point and Hopefully effective

Monday, December 13, 2010

More Transitions

We were chugging along the past yr. But I have hit a bit of a bump in the road with our loose daily routine. We are not clock watchers and I am ok with that. I am not a strict enforcer of routine but we do maintain as little chaos as possible. My children do not respond well to strict anything - it has a very adverse effect on accomplishing the task if I get too strict. What I am looking to see how others managed to helped the transition from 3, to 2, to 1 nap with the 1 yr old and have it match up or overlap with the 2 yr old.

G has been taking 3 (cat) naps for a while and now wants 2 (1 short 30 min nap in the am and 1 2hr nap that sometimes may or maynot overlaps A's afternoon nap) . G is VERY strong-willed and when he wants a nap - He wants/needs a nap NOW. I have tried to push through but end up letting him nap because he is a screaming crier. But what ends up happening is I am stuck at home in nap mode from 11-5 with both kids napping that fills up 11-5.

So if you have been through this and can help suggest some tips, I would love help. Or maybe I just need reassurance that "this too shall pass" .... I just miss the adult connections that you get at playdates, running errands and just leaving your house. Since my husband is gone a lot and with most playdates happening from 10-1 or 3-6, Everything is happening while we are stuck at home in nap mode and when it is not nap time, it is so late we have to ger dinner done, then it's bath/bed time ..... Leaving little time for running errands and leaving the house. Which is counter-productive to a clean/tidy house.

I am really craving adult conversation and my house is never getting tidy due to having at least 1 child up most of the day and needing entertaining all the waking hrs of the day. At night, I am so exhausted, with little motivation to clean or too overwhelmed to clean.

thanks in advance and thank you for just having such a great group of moms that I feel comfortable sharing/getting help w/ some parenting stressers.

edited to add more info:

Don't be fooled, We do have a "schedule", We aren't out wandering around with the kids ruling the function of my day. I had a daily rhythm going, and it was going quite well until recently, Thus, my dismay of now entering a phase were our rhythm we had is not working. G is extremely fussy, needy and somewhat overwhelming dependent which is ironic because he is doing this in order to try and declare his Independence , more so than A ever was at this age. A is just now hitting a patch where he too is trying to declare his Independence and I am trying to parent the best I can and still allow them to grow their personalities under order and keep our daily life as functional as possible with as less friction as possible.

I also suspect G is finally teething

I am just interested as many responses as possible. The good thing about raising children is everyone w/ or w/o has an opinion - So I figured everyone would love an opportunity to chime in and I would get many different responses and find/try tips that will help us. Because, it does take a village and there are many different ways to get the same goal which is happy momma, happy kids.

I know I am not inventing the wheel here and I think I am just looking for tips that others did/wish they did or learned along the way to ensure the best way to work through and cope through transitional phases and maintain a bit of sanity and less damage to the kids along the way. I supremely hate having unhappiness and chaos for most of our day because Momma/children have a learning curve to adjust to. It seems that for the first year. the transitions seem to be faster and quicker because I swear the whole first yr IS all transitional. But now, we (garrison) are changing less and seem to be trying to find more of a steady rhythm and struggling and I am low on creativity of things to try