Disjointed

This post is going to be all over the place - Just a warning. If you aren't in a great place - Skip to the red - come back later if you wish or just skip it all together - I have been trying to blog about Life for like weeks now. But Life gets in the way, I forget and then the moments are lost.

Vacuum that sucks - why is it that my baby can pickup dirt on my carpet but my vacuum can't? I bought a new vacuum a few months ago. It's a Eureka, I hate it - any suggestions that aren't the Dys.on - I can't afford that option.

My friend who knew I had a blog but didn't know the exact url found my blog this week while googling antibi.otics and ni.ght ter.rors. She called to tell me that she thought she found someone having the same problem as us then realized that this had to be my blog - We had a good laugh over that. I told her I appreciated her telling me and also trying to help me.

Venting - blowing off steam. Because I am here to keep it real. 9 month milestone no one mentions:

These past few weeks have been challenging in so many levels. I would say about a month ago, We hit a huge milestone. One that I haven't read much about yet (too tired) and no blogs that I follow talked about it. MT has decided that if E is home, ONLY E WILL DO. The first few times, I thought this was cute/funny. E was proud that MT only wanted Daddy. E works 12 hours. Drives home and MT will ONLY have daddy do it. If I try to do whatever task needs to be done and E is home, he screams, protests, has a hissy fit, did I mention screaming in protest? So, yah, Not so cute anymore. The newness has worn off and E is not flattered anymore. Anyone see where this is headed? E then procedes to say the unsavory phrase that sums up: I am tired, I worked all day, You stayed home, you deal with him .... I remind him that ME dealing with him is why he is protesting loudly. This lil conversation goes on, hurtful words are thrown at eachother and then the morning is new and the day tends to be on repeat. I try to get everything regarding MT doen before E gets home so this isn't such a demand on either. Then there were ear infections, cranky days, and sleepless nights of what i still think was medically induced nig.ht te.rrors. I am not a person that holds grudges - but I have a hard time "getting over" hurtful words. Even if I know they were said in the heat of the moment. So maybe I hold some from of a grudge.

Another 9 month milestone that has been brought by the letter F for frustration is: MT found the body part that makes him a male. (can't wait for google to hit on that one). Every.Diaper.Change. The first morning diaper change is always a poopy one. Good Morning Momma! Some mornings, It takes 20 mins to change his diaper and clean up the mess from changing his diaper! It's a wrestling match and I do not have enough arms. I am struggling. Any suggestions?

No is starting to get understood, othertimes, No is a very funny joke.

Sleep regression, Ear Infection, Teething, Meds, whatever else - We seem to be on an upswing. Last night MT woke up at midnight made some noise, and soothed himself back to sleep. Today was his last dose of meds. I hope things only get better from here.

They have to because, Sunday ( i think or maybe Saturday) I lost my mind. MT was doing his 'only want daddy' routine, daddy was doing his 'but it's my day off' routine and I was stuck in the middle pleasing no one. I broke. I cried so hard, it felt great! I haven't cried that hard in years. It felt cleansing. It started out very toxic, I freaked out my baby. Sleep deprivation is serious!

This week, we have spent several days outside. I am a huge believer in healing powers of the sun/air. We went ge.ocach.ing with some of our friends. It is Such fun. There are toddler boys that are "treasure hunting" and they truly enjoy when a cache is found. There are prizes in some of the boxes. You can take something, but you are requested to leave a like item for the next people who find it. I really suggest looking up your neighborhood and seeing if there are any caches in your area. Take a walk and try to find some. Let me know if you ever do it.

More Growing Pains

• Took the Cats to the vet - It was basically a disaster that involves me changing vets and spending loads of money for no services. That day will go down in history for my mind. I felt like the Mama Animal trying to protect her young and being threatened by a pack of wolves. Yes it was that awful and no one even looked at the cats for rin.gworms.
• Scrubbed/vacuumed as much of the house as possible.
• After the re-arrangement, I have realized that some of the ideas were not that great. Babies love cords... And Teething Babies want to put said cords, in their mouths. MT fascination is like a Moth to a Flame
• I need to get rid of all our floor lamps. Also like Moth to flame. He managed to pull one down and break the glass globe
• Between the teething and ear infection, MT and I are not getting much sleep. I am thinking back to a weeks ago. His opposition to having his diaper changed and taking naps was probably an early sign relating to the ear infection. He would scream when trying to get him to lay down. Thus Ear pain. Good to know. *why is 9 months the common start of ear infections? Anyone know
• Antibiotics- I am not against medical interventions at all. But I am questioning my choice for treating this ear infection with the antibiotic. I am unsure how to tell if he is in pain from the teeth, the ear, or the absolutely awful rash the meds have given him. I am making sure to give him 2 servings of the whole milk yogurt a day but this rash is A.W.F.U.L. I am using a wash clothe and water as wipes. But WOW, he is hurting from the burn when he poops, he pretty much just wails from pain. *to the CD-ers: Something I never thought of- Ask for NO DYE, or no flavor antibiotics if you find yourself in need of them. I am assuming it's from the meds. After each poop, our liners are pink .. UGH I am washing them for the first time since the discovery. Hoping it comes out. It took a few poops to put the two together.
• Did I mention - Very.Little.Sleep. I think I have found my breaking point: Ringw.orms + Ear Infection + Teething + Antibiotic Diaper Rash. This morning at 3-6 am MT and I both were in tears. I think this is one of the first times that this has happened. I usually do a better job at keeping it together.
• I read on another blog that this Milestone (9 months) has brought on the most changes. I could not agree more. MT has only been 9 months for 5 days and it seems that once again his development and social abilities are changes by the hour again. I also think this is another reason our sleep patterns have been affected. His lil mind is processing more and more and producing more and more skills. I feel the anxiety creeping in. I felt this way back when he was 6 months also. The anxiety won't last long but it seems like Just when I get things figured out, It's time to change it up on me again. I think the anxiety increases when our sleep decreases also.
• We did manage a boat stroll yesterday. It was so nice to get out in the open air and be on the water.
• He wasn't a huge fan of the life jacket at first but as the ride progressed he became accustom to it.

The one about all kinds of randomness

• I am pretty sure that I am going to start the actual first real period soon. This should explain the roller coaster ride of emotions that I have been experiencing this past week. I say real period because I think this one may last alot longer than 1 day of spotting/flow like the others have been. I have pretty much the cramping and moodiness that are related to the ol' hag. (i haven't missed her It's been a full year w/o her presence) I also seem to have a supply issue again. I was told that once my period does decide to come, the breast milk supply slows down for a few days but eventually should come back .. we'll see. It all has to do with hormones ... evil evil hormones
• MT has been trying to roll over the past couple days. He rocks back and forth on his tummy until he gets frustrated or stuck. He is getting close
• Check it out She is having a Girl and She is having a Boy!
• MT is somewhat still following the same pattern with some give and take. We still have "Hold me ALOT" days. Today was one of them. In his defense, I have had him out dress shopping for my sister's wedding for the past 3 days and he (and I) are just over it. I do have a matron of honor dress now, so no more of that nonsense. This is not what you want to do ever .. especially after just having a baby. dressmakers are evil and do things that make your trigger those evil hormones ... ... .. SO add this up: dress shopping, dress shopping by yourself with newborn, dress shopping in a nursing bra, dress shopping while having first period in a yr, dress shopping while not working ..... It is enough to send anyone over the edge
• I am starting back on my met. The rx was called in, I will pick it up tomorrow.
• I know there is more I wanted to add but my brain is turning to mush ...
• Why Can't I ever think of titles for my posts anymore
• This time last year I was recovering from IUI#1 and gearing up for IUI#2 (more on this later)..
• Here are 2 more pictures - He is growing and changing so very fast. I swear, He changes right in front of your eyes: I cannot keep his hands or anything he picks up out of his mouth. I am constantly washing the drool, spit, saliva, hand germs off of his face. It tends to leave lil red bumps. I also cannot ever cut his nails short enough. He manages to scratch his face regardless of how short/filed those nails are.

T - 1

Is the shower slideshow working?? If not Ill try again later ..my nerves could not handle any more technical difficulties.

My second to last mf.m appointment - thus the T-1. I will have one more appointment with him in 3 weeks. He was unhappy with the Gest. Counselor giving me a diet of 2600 cals and disagreed with the OB about not giving me the Met back when My testings were off. He thinks that I should be given my glucophage (Met) back or prescribe glybruide (sp?) along with a 2200 cal diet plan and monitoring my sugars. He says, yes, it's partly gd, but it's also a pre-existing condition (p.co.s) that we knew about before I was pregnant - therefore he sees it as unfair for me to "try and handle it w/o drugs" since I was on the drugs before and we know the drugs work. He said that thinks it is just my fasting read that needs to be adjusted. He would like to see me a pill at dinner time only --- with all that said I have a 6 lb baby!!! I nearly started to cry in his office. He assured me that It is not that large, it is in the 70%tile. He says that a my OB appointment on Friday he would like me to discuss the option of getting some oral treatment back. I have his notes in my purse to take with me, I didn't want to chance my OB not getting them. He believes that everything else is "perfect". We saw Mini breathing in and out the amniotic fluid and the heart was pumping away at 135 bpm in the head down position. He also thinks that we will have a baby here in the next 4-5 week. Maybe a lil earlier than the due date.

I can not express how much I absolutely adore this man. I hope that my OB and I are able to discuss his suggestions Friday and get this straightened out and that I will be prescribed something to help lower my fasting read.

I can not help but feel alittle deflated. I think a few posts back I was whining about wanting my Met back. It's true, i DO. I know that you are not supposed to play the shoulda, woulda, coulda game. But I can't help but think that if I was given my Met, I would have made it to my due date w/o concern of the insulin issue that concerns me with my lil boy. I am consumed with just hoping that he will come out just fine from all of this and that my screwy body chemistry will not hurt him too much more than it may have already.

My husband keeps telling me to look at the positives - He is healthy, he is breathing fluids, he is head down, he is not too small, he has made it 34 weeks, he has all the organ/fingers/toes, and we will get to see him most likely sooner than we thought. These are all good things to be happy for and celebrate.

Rambles Of a Hormonal Crazy Woman

AH - I made it one more week w/o using leave. Hopefully I can pull that off for 1 more pay period. (may 29th)

We had our OB Tour yesterday. I must say that this hospital is just fantastic and so thoughtful. I know they birth babies hourly and all - but they just have it down so exactly as I would like it to be. The policies are in place but make sense and there is nothing too out of the ordinary. Every hospital staff we encountered was just super friendly. I think that we will really be pleased with this hospital. They play a lullaby over the entire hospital speakers when a baby is born.

I received from Morrisa, Adriane, Wishing, Hoping and Praying, and Katie (*edit) this week.

I cannot express to you gals how much I needed this little extra this week.


I would like to pass it on to LIW, and Lady in Waiting, Kristen, Marcy and Kris, and TopCat. All have been a great deal of support to me and are deserving woman.

I have been feeling very drained emotionally and physically. There are some things going on right now and I was not sure if i was going to be able to make it another day a few days ago. I have been having lil mini episodes of doubt and fear. It all stems from lack of sleep, I think. We changed from lo.veno.x to he.par.in (because hep is easier to control while laboring - as someone else also pointed out) And of course there had to be a snafu. At the pharmacy (or the ob's script - each are blaming the other) I received the wrong vials of the drug. I picked them up Monday night after work, came home to find out that there was not a script for the needles we needed to inject it with. E called the pharmacy to try and arrange the pharmacist to let us have(buy) 2 needles to get us that night's dosage and the am dosage. Then I could call the OB's office and ask them to order/write a script for the remainder. So i did, they called in an order, I picked them up Tuesday night after work. Got home, found out that based on the syringe units I would now be required to inject 2 needles at a time to fulfill the ob's amount prescribed. I was a little frustrated. NO, i was alot frustrated. Lov.enox was in a pre-filled syringe, no mixing required and i only had to take it once a day. This new drug was requiring 2 shots a day - but with the small syringes it meant 4 shots a day. So I had to give myself 2 shots in the pm and 2 shots in the am and then call my ob's office again Wednesday to figure out what was going on. I still do not have any clear answers as to what happened - each are blaming the other for the script - but will not take back the drugs and syringes and give us the right ones - therefore I stuck (literally) 4 times a day compared to once a a day until I run out of those vials. I have 30 of them and each vial will last about 5 days. Therefore I will be sticking myself most likely until Mini arrives 4 times a day. I was bruise free before switching, My belly ( where I have been instructed to stick myself) is no longer bruise free and quite sore actually. I just keep thinking - I am so ...close..I will make it. I called to get more test strips for my sugar monitor but the pharmacy will not let me re-new that prescription because the dr put that I test 2 times a day - but i was told to test 4 - so I have to call again today and ask if they want me to just test 2 times a day or continue to test 4 times. If they want me to continue doing 4 times a day the script needs updating or a new one needs called in .... It's just tiring dealing with all of this .. That stress on top of the mental stress I put on myself about my leave and dealing with other stress's that I can't really share yet just makes me all tapped out. Good thing is after tomorrow, I plan on leaving work early to pick up my sister at the airport, going to get a pedicure and manicure and relaxing before the shower on Saturday.

With all the above frustrations, i am still glad to be able to hold my head up and say that I am almost 34 weeks pregnant and still feel unbeleivablly blessed to have made it this far and be able to actually be in a position to have a baby shower FOR ME ... This is will be for me and I did not have to plan it. After last yrs baby shower bananza's (i threw 4 last yr), It is so humbling to be able to think that I actually have something referred to as a "shower dress" and enjoy celebrating my ( well and e's baby).

I leave you with a 33 week pic:
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We are making progress

I just got back from my ob appointment. I must tell you it went shockingly well. This was the first appointment since receiving the GD diagnosis over the phone. The dr was unimpressed with the diagnosis. She said that she would not have classified my results as GD but considering I have P.CO.S, It doesn't hurt anything. I did not know this until today -but my uterus has been measuring ~2 weeks ahead ever since i was 15 weeks. No one ever said anything to me about it until today. Good news is that it's consistent therefore she is not concerned. She told me that up to 2 weeks measuring ahead is totally w/in the norm. (just passing along knowledge) My bp was perfect, no trace of protein in my urine (yah)! They switched my lo.veno.x to he.p.ari.n today. So i am now on 2 shots of heparin a day. I was informed today that I cannot breast feed if on the lo.veno.x. (which they will put me back on after delivery) We will have to address that issue in a few weeks. I need time to think about this and do my own lil research. She reassured me that she wanted to aim for a vaginal birth. (yah for that) If my water breaks I am not to do my he.par.in dose. I think that about sums up my appointment today. I schedule my next 5 appointments with the office. I have one more regular appointment in 2 weeks. Then after that appointment, I will start going to weekly nst's followed by a dr visit. The Ob's office would like me to have 1 more visit (after the one in 2 weeks) with the mfm. I tell ya, I don't want to leave his office, I jut adore him

My peri ( mfm) appointment is also in 2 weeks (before my ob's) - we will get another glimpse of Mini. I am hoping that his weight is going to be right on track so there will be nothing to worry about. He has been so good to me.

So as you can see, the prayers, good thoughts etc. are working. Thank you so very much.

We have our childbirth education class tomorrow. I chose not to go to any weekly (or biweekly) classes due to our work schedules. I am very excited to be able to go to it. I heard it was very informative and helpful.

We have our OB Hospital tour Wednesday at 7pm. Things are really progressing. I am feeling much more calm. My shower is the 17th (almost 1 week away) and I am really looking forward to it.

Yah for Friday. I am ready for the weekend. I bet you are too

And the Beat goes on

The perinatologist’s office was very very far away and we both really complained about driving that far – but man o man was it worth it. I really haven’t felt more comfortable with any of my care/dr’s completely. But this Dr (aka Dr Wonderful) just laid it all out there and was sympathetic to our situation and needs. He asked me at first if I had any questions, I told him that I may have questions after he goes over the results of our scan and fetal echo. He explained that, as of now, everything is measuring on target and Mini is nearing 16 oz.(~15.5 oz for now). He stated that things seemed to be measuring a few days ahead but that was good news and not bad news. It just gives them wiggle room with my due date (which is still the same). He explained that he was originally concerned about my ASD and spine but after the pictures and echo, all looks great and processing growth that normal.

Then we started discussing the lo.veno.x, auto immune issues, and fertility. Apparently, I have been confused on this topic – and an now a little more confused with a little more clear understanding – if that even makes since.

My RE tested me for a zillion of things. I thought I understood that the mt.hf.r disorder was being treated by the lo.ve.no.x, but that is not the case. I am taking an extra fo.lic acid pill for that. This disorder is called ho.moc.ysteine.

The Lo.ve.no.x is being used to treat an abnormal level of Anti-cardiolipin antibodies.(a.c.a testing) There was a test that revealed that I had a slightly higher level than normal. I think the paper stated that fewer than 11 are good or 10, and mine was 20. Dr Wonderful stated that I was at a slight risk for deep thrombosis as a result of these findings (and m/c's), It’s just precautionary and dually noted to watch. He also explained to me that most women use lo.ve.nox(he.pa.rin along with prednisone and a baby aspirin) early in a pregnancy or before they become pregnant because it makes the uterus/cells more “sticky” to help with implantation if there is to be believed of a need to assist in that area. Since I did not start taking it until week 8 or 9 – he doesn’t think it had much effect on this pregnancy. He also states that my dosages are much too low for a patient who legimately does have this problem. Dr. Wonderful said that based on the dose, he doesn’t think I necessary “need” it but the risks are much greater to take me off of it now – because I have made it this far why screw anything up and be able to second guess medicine. I agreed, so we will continue to same amount like always 1- 40 mL shot a night. He states that I continue until this until week 34.

He tends to believe that my troubles/menstrual cycles,m/c, etc are more due to the P.CO.S., and not the Anti-cardiolipin antibodies (because I started the drugs so late) or ho.moc.ysteine. He stated of course it is a compound issue and makes it seem impossible and complex (or in his words “a doozy”) but it seems to be manageable which we are doing.

So based on all of the above: The ho.moc.ysteine, the P.C.O.S, abnormal Anti-cardiolipin antibodies, and being larger women: Here is the new and latest possible diagnosis that he is slightly concerned with: Pre.ecla.mps.ia.


The only thing about that is that the signs are basically h.igh b.loo.d p.ress.ure. Well, that is one thing that I do not have. My Bp is usually 112/59-118/72 ish. So I hope that it continues to remain normal. I plan on adding more fresh veggies in my diet to help with the folic acid which should help maintain my weight which will hopefully help maintain my pcos and keep me away from the pr.eecla.mpsi.a. PHEW, lots of technical terms – sorry If your face hit the keyboard out of boredom - as always - if you have questions or comments - please feel free to ask away or email me

On the good part – We got to have an u/s for 2 hours and 15 mins while they measures, checked, rechecked, re-measured and showed us and re-showed us boy parts!

No touchie the Mango

This post is going to be all over the place:

Happy 1st blogoversary to me – I forgot to post this but Feb. 3rd (superbowl Sunday) was my 1st Blogoversary. I have met so many wonderfully bloggers/commenter’s and I don’t know where I would be emotionally if it wasn’t for this community. I have been allowed to explore my deepest fears, thoughts and ideas here for the past year and it has made a huge difference in my friendships, work and my marriage. You guys really do Rock! This past month, I have been faced with decisions that I thought I would never get to make or have to make – and this bloggin process has helped so much. I am going to link you to a few posts that have been made over the last couple days that have really had an impact on my heart and soul recently.

A SomeDay Mom – I totally could have written this but instead of plagiarizing, I will link you to her – but her thoughts are exactly mine – just better written

Blood Signs – this post is just powerful and brave. I am in awe of her writing ability. She really is a fantastic woman. The part that left me thinking is at the very end of her post about the book “The Prophet”. Before that quote, as I was reading, I kept trying to imagine myself in her situation. Would I have been strong and graceful enough to handle that situation the way she did? Pam, I am really inspired by that post – Not many could have done such a beautiful balance as you did!

Mel’s post yesterday about the community in which we write from and about – Really I just wish I could express my thoughts and feelings the way some of you are capable of doing.

P-word mentioned:
Not only did I have my 1 yr blogoversary – but I am 19 weeks. (45% of the way there) I am still feeling movements. They are still somewhat sporadic but still feeling them none the less. Saturday morning, I woke up feeling like I had done 1000000 sit-ups. Anyone ever feel this way while pregnant? I assumed it was because of Mini- kicks and Mini-growing. (Mini- my love, I am plenty big and there is plenty of room in there already- you already want more space and more room?) I am still holding at the same 5-6 lbs that I was up at my last appointment. I am changing shapes, furniture is moving and you can see the protruding roundness of my belly for sure now. Here is a pic what 19 weeks of lo.ven.ox injections look like:

Say Cheese – This week my baby is getting that yucky stuff you see some newborns born with. A protective substance called vernix caseosa (vernix is the Latin word for varnish; caseosa is cheese) Mini is also approx. Six inches long and about eight ounces in weight. Mini is the size of a large mango. (reminds me of a SNL skit – no touchie the Mango) Which is the way I feel about strangers rubbing/touching my belly!

DREAMS: My dreams are back and in full swing – here are the less creepy/more recent ones

I had my very first dream about My baby, This baby on Friday night/Saturday Morning. This dream was much much different than any other dream I have had in the past. Somehow I knew it was a dream about this current baby on the way. I got to see a face of the baby and was told the sex. All other dreams (until this dream) have been very vague in the past. I never usually see a face it always hazy or blurred and they are always gender neutral and wrapped in green or yellow swaddling. My baby was very distinct and clearly wrapped in a pink/flowered blanket that I bought to give to my MIL almost 4 yrs ago (that is currently lying on the guest bed) and never ended up giving it to her. In the dream, My mom went to the hospital to "pick up" my baby and bring it back to me because I wanted to be “surprised”, while I stayed at home and waited! WEIRD, yes ya think?!??!, She the pink wrapped baby to me and told me she was a girl and that we needed to give her a name. (Think I have lost it yet? – there is one more)
The second dream, Sunday Night/Monday Morning – This dream was about feeding what looked like the same exact baby girl from the first dream, a bottle. They (not really sure who “they” were) were trying to feed her bad formula that had set out for over 2 hours because they didn't want to waste it.(at my parents house but with different furniture). I was not there, they were babysitting and I walked in and found them talking about how “she” needed a bottle and to just grab the last one on the counter because she didn’t finish it. I was all frustrated trying to figure out why they made an 8 oz bottle for a 2 month old.


Speaking of things I never thought I would get/have to do – make a list of whom I wanted to attend MY baby shower. I did that this week. WHOA was that ever interesting. I realized that it was quite a different list than I would have thought about pre- pregnancy. Being a shower thrower of many years- I thought I would want the whole wide world there – Now that I was asked to compile a list – It is about1/4 of the list. I have decided that I feel more secure and comfortable with just a few friends/family that are aware of my situation. I advised my sister to tell my parents that if they wanted to have a heavier guest list after the baby was born for “Mini has Arrived” Party. I am all gun-ho for that, but would like to keep the shower guest list down as much as humanly possible. We’ll see how that goes.

a few 12's

12 weeks = 84 days
26% of your pregnancy has passed, there is 74% left to go
“Your belly is finally starting to expand and grow. This week your uterus will finally rise above your pubic bone and pelvis. This will definitely create a small pooch in your lower abdomen.”

Fetus Size relating to fruit
I read somewhere about a pregnancy mask. I am not having this but I am having alil bit of a grease problem ... GREASY face and hair... and oh and the headaches..wow the headaches are more intense than the earlier headaches. My belly is twinging and stretching and sometimes feels like a charlie horse at night.

2 nights ago, i slept too long inbetween peeing and i woke up and thought I was going to pee all over myself and my belly was so tight and had alot of soreness. I hope I wake up to pee tonight and for the rest of the nights. That was weird and quite bothersome.

After my dr’s appointment on Friday, I have been feeling a lot more confident about this pregnancy. I am still losing weight, which I am very happy about. I am starting to get a little nervous about getting off my medication though. Anyone have to take pre.dni.sone, when did you stop? Metformin, when did you stop? Why do I HAVE to stop the met? I read a few articles that state woman with P.C.O.S have a hard time with breast milk supply. Any truth/opinions to this? These articles stated that if you needed Me.tfo.rm.in to conceive, you most likely will need m.etfor.mi.n to breastfeed. I am not at all under the opinion that me.tfo.rm.in is what made me conceive, but I am sure under the assumption it was a contributing factor. I am also not sure I even want to breatfeed, but I like options .... Who doesn't?!

As for another 12 - It has been 12 years since I had heart surgery today. (ASD repair) It just happened to fall on my 12 week milestone. Pretty Cool huh.

7 Days til Christmas.. Boy, Do I have alot to do. I need to get wrapping gifts and packing for a weekend trip to here to have christmas with my sister and parents.

I posted this late last night but I am posting it again - PLEASE PLEASE give Kathy some Support. She and I are close due date buddies. She just had a great NT Scan on Wednesday and all things were Fantastic at 12 weeks. Monday started bleeding red. Now things are not sounding very hopeful.