Disjointed

This post is going to be all over the place - Just a warning. If you aren't in a great place - Skip to the red - come back later if you wish or just skip it all together - I have been trying to blog about Life for like weeks now. But Life gets in the way, I forget and then the moments are lost.

Vacuum that sucks - why is it that my baby can pickup dirt on my carpet but my vacuum can't? I bought a new vacuum a few months ago. It's a Eureka, I hate it - any suggestions that aren't the Dys.on - I can't afford that option.

My friend who knew I had a blog but didn't know the exact url found my blog this week while googling antibi.otics and ni.ght ter.rors. She called to tell me that she thought she found someone having the same problem as us then realized that this had to be my blog - We had a good laugh over that. I told her I appreciated her telling me and also trying to help me.

Venting - blowing off steam. Because I am here to keep it real. 9 month milestone no one mentions:

These past few weeks have been challenging in so many levels. I would say about a month ago, We hit a huge milestone. One that I haven't read much about yet (too tired) and no blogs that I follow talked about it. MT has decided that if E is home, ONLY E WILL DO. The first few times, I thought this was cute/funny. E was proud that MT only wanted Daddy. E works 12 hours. Drives home and MT will ONLY have daddy do it. If I try to do whatever task needs to be done and E is home, he screams, protests, has a hissy fit, did I mention screaming in protest? So, yah, Not so cute anymore. The newness has worn off and E is not flattered anymore. Anyone see where this is headed? E then procedes to say the unsavory phrase that sums up: I am tired, I worked all day, You stayed home, you deal with him .... I remind him that ME dealing with him is why he is protesting loudly. This lil conversation goes on, hurtful words are thrown at eachother and then the morning is new and the day tends to be on repeat. I try to get everything regarding MT doen before E gets home so this isn't such a demand on either. Then there were ear infections, cranky days, and sleepless nights of what i still think was medically induced nig.ht te.rrors. I am not a person that holds grudges - but I have a hard time "getting over" hurtful words. Even if I know they were said in the heat of the moment. So maybe I hold some from of a grudge.

Another 9 month milestone that has been brought by the letter F for frustration is: MT found the body part that makes him a male. (can't wait for google to hit on that one). Every.Diaper.Change. The first morning diaper change is always a poopy one. Good Morning Momma! Some mornings, It takes 20 mins to change his diaper and clean up the mess from changing his diaper! It's a wrestling match and I do not have enough arms. I am struggling. Any suggestions?

No is starting to get understood, othertimes, No is a very funny joke.

Sleep regression, Ear Infection, Teething, Meds, whatever else - We seem to be on an upswing. Last night MT woke up at midnight made some noise, and soothed himself back to sleep. Today was his last dose of meds. I hope things only get better from here.

They have to because, Sunday ( i think or maybe Saturday) I lost my mind. MT was doing his 'only want daddy' routine, daddy was doing his 'but it's my day off' routine and I was stuck in the middle pleasing no one. I broke. I cried so hard, it felt great! I haven't cried that hard in years. It felt cleansing. It started out very toxic, I freaked out my baby. Sleep deprivation is serious!

This week, we have spent several days outside. I am a huge believer in healing powers of the sun/air. We went ge.ocach.ing with some of our friends. It is Such fun. There are toddler boys that are "treasure hunting" and they truly enjoy when a cache is found. There are prizes in some of the boxes. You can take something, but you are requested to leave a like item for the next people who find it. I really suggest looking up your neighborhood and seeing if there are any caches in your area. Take a walk and try to find some. Let me know if you ever do it.

Dr. Dr., Gimme the News

So - Appointment #4 in 15 days. What do we know:

• I asked if we could just go ahead and do our 9 month well baby visit even though I wouldn't necessarily say I had a well baby.?! Instead of keeping my appointment for the 31st. She agreed to go ahead. He weighs 20lbs! This is an improvement because over the span of the Dr's appointments he had lost 3 lbs. But Managed to gain 2 back. This put him in the 45%. His height is at 28.5 inches - 30%. Head is 45 in in the 40%. Pretty consistent to his last set of stats. A few more inches and I will have to give up the infant Carrier. It's just so much more convenient for me.
• We discussed his hatred for formula again. Her cry is for me to get more formula/liquids in him. I have NO IDEA how to do this. I barely get 12-15 oz. She wants at least 20oz ... I asked about the next step formulas. She said if it was cheaper option, try them. It doesn't have all the same vitamins but it really isn't that much of a difference. I wasn't going for the cheaper approach. I was going to just try something different and see if that would help. She does not want me to introduce regular whole milk yet ... She also didn't like that we introduced yogurt to him at 6 months - When it was suggested to us by the other Dr in the practice .... I dunno. I have never put anything else but bm and formula in his bottles - Have you tried anything in the bottles?
• The eczema has gotten better in some spots, worse in others. She thinks we are doing a good job
• She does not think the screams"things I am referring to as ni.ght terrors" are related to his meds. It could be, "but it's very rare. It could be from the sickness, It could be his age and development" Night Terrors can start as early as 9 months. She begged me to continue the meds for 6 more days.
• His ears are clearing up. Not cleared up all the way. The nose drainage is related to the ears she thinks. There is no fluid in the lungs. I asked if I could let him sleep in an upright position in the swing or carseat because he cannot breathe - she said yes. She preferred the carseat
• Must.Learn.to.Use.Sippy.Cup .. Insert laugh here. I am trying

Since changing the time the med is administered, the Night terrors happen in the late afternoon nap or midnight. The past 2 nights, It's been Midnight. I am getting used to them. It's just a phase right?!

Foods:

• I have added black beans (Huge new Fav), re fried beans w cheese melted over them, cut/peeled grapes, going to try chick peas soon.

Last weekend, the weather has been supremely gorgeous! So we have been taking advantage of it:

We put up a baby gate to keep said lil one out of cat food/litter box. Little did we know the stupid cats would not figure out how to jump over it .... took a week for them to figure this out ... OY!

I feel like there is more I wanted to jot down/remember but my mind these isn't working so well.

Lil Different

This post could be long and drawn out but no time -

We got the meds late in the day when we started and I just continued to give it to him at the same time the rest of the days Yesterday, I decided to give it to him earlier in the day to see what would happen. He woke up from a nap doing the same type of scream that he does at 2-3 am. It was also 4-5 hours after the meds are administered. The only way to describe it: He sounds like he is crying. But it sounds pathetic, Fake, manufactured almost. His eyes are open but he is not really awake. He wakes to be picked up, you pick him up, He wants to be put down .... pick up, put down, thrashing, rolling. etc rinse repeat. Good part was, It was not 2-3 am, bad part - Not any less frustrating. After the episode, we did manage a good night dleep w/o any wake ups.

Today I have given him the meds at the same time as yesterday. I have to go to work but I have warned my parents that this could happen to them at the 4-5 hour mark. I dunno. I have another appointment with the dr's office Wednesday. I hope that if nothing else, the ears look better. I asked if I could just combine his 9 month well baby appoint on the same day instead of going back on the 31. But we may be back anyway.

At least there was sleep last night. I was very scared of the person I was quickly becoming. Hopefully more upbeat posts to come

12

10 out of the past 12 nights MT has woken up pretty much at the same time screaming. The problem is he really isn't awake. He just looks awake, is standing or trying to stand in his crib and screaming inconsolable. This cry is ear piercing, nagging like drawn out pathetic wails of hopelessness. Lt almost sounds fake. And honestly the #1 most annoying sound E.V.E.R.

We have tried:

• not picked him up and letting him cry for some time
• patting him on the butt in the crib until my arm just can't do it anymore
• giving him a bottle
• giving him mot.rin
• picking him up and trying to console him
• putting him in our bed
• pushing him in a stroller

Nothing works. He fights and tries to escape out of my arms. Lay him down and he thrashes, rolls, burrows his face etc. He just cries for hours. Until he just can't stay awake anymore crying and goes to sleep. Is this related to the ears, teeth, or the meds? Is this Night Terrors? I am at a loss and I feel like a huge failure. I honestly don't know what to do.

UPDATED with a question - Anyone else experience their child/themself while on antibiotics to cause/have night terrors? Am I grasping at straws?This is just my gut feeling. I can't find much research linking the two .. Of course yuo can find some information on it but not medical studies.

The Hamster Wheel Keeps Turning

Where Did I leave off .. Oh yes: 5 long sleepless nights of Ri.ngworms + Ear Infection + Teething + Antibiotic Diaper Rash.

MT would fall asleep around 10-11pm and be up from 2am - 6/8 am screaming ... inconsolable. Nothing I tried worked. So finally the 6th night of this, I admitted Fail/defeat and called the Dr around 9pm. She gave me some tricks to try ... and asked me to call for another visit in the morning. I called right when their office opened to find out that they only had appointments for the same Dr I had already seen last Tues and Wednesday and talked to on Monday night. I didn't want to see her again. So I had to wait for an appointment with the Dr I wanted until today.

Monday night, After talking with the dr. I decided that I was not going to give MT anymore antibiotics. My husband and I both agreed that we thought that the antibiotics were making him more miserable and we most to blame for the wakeful nights. Unfortunately MT had the ear infection before going to the dr. so We didn't really think it was the culprit. Remember, We went to the Dr to discuss his rash that was getting worse. Tuesday ,no meds, bedtime went fairly well. Asleep around 9 pm, In the crib around 8:30pm. This was a huge success for us considering the previous nights. His lil diaper rash was also clearing up very well. Wednesday bedtime came and went without a hitch also. Score for us.

I am unsure if it happens to be a huge coincidence that once we stopped the antibiotic he slept through the night. I am sure having no diaper rash help sleep also. Oh did I mention also that the pink stuff seemed to hype MT up pretty good also. Whatever the reason, Yah for everyone sleeping. Sleep is good. It is hard to adjust backwards on sleep regression.

So today - Went to the Dr at 4:45pm. Saw the Dr I like and she took a few good looks at MT's rash that has gotten worse since undergoing treatment. She said that it is not ringworm and that is why the treatment was not working. She diagnosed him with nu.mmular ec.zema der.mititis. (i can't find an article w/o showing awful extreme condition pictures - so I will spare you the links) Basically they are coin shaped dry patches of skin that mostly affect the arms/legs. I did find a website that stated they can tend to resemble r.ingworms but the difference is the spots are not marked with the definite raised ring. I also told her that I stopped the antibiotics and why. She looked in his ears and apparently both are infection now. So she says that it was a good thing I came in because the meds were not working for that either. She wanted me to scrap all the meds we had and start over again. So now back to square one. I asked for her recommendation on a probiotic. Went and pick up that, filled the new antibiotic. Bought new soaps/lotions to try for bathtime .. So far so good. Poor lil thing is sleeping upright in his swing right now and I up he is out for the night - But who knows.

We did manage to have some fun in all that Dr talk though. We played in the Easter Section today - Look I found an Easter Bunny on isle 5:

More Growing Pains

• Took the Cats to the vet - It was basically a disaster that involves me changing vets and spending loads of money for no services. That day will go down in history for my mind. I felt like the Mama Animal trying to protect her young and being threatened by a pack of wolves. Yes it was that awful and no one even looked at the cats for rin.gworms.
• Scrubbed/vacuumed as much of the house as possible.
• After the re-arrangement, I have realized that some of the ideas were not that great. Babies love cords... And Teething Babies want to put said cords, in their mouths. MT fascination is like a Moth to a Flame
• I need to get rid of all our floor lamps. Also like Moth to flame. He managed to pull one down and break the glass globe
• Between the teething and ear infection, MT and I are not getting much sleep. I am thinking back to a weeks ago. His opposition to having his diaper changed and taking naps was probably an early sign relating to the ear infection. He would scream when trying to get him to lay down. Thus Ear pain. Good to know. *why is 9 months the common start of ear infections? Anyone know
• Antibiotics- I am not against medical interventions at all. But I am questioning my choice for treating this ear infection with the antibiotic. I am unsure how to tell if he is in pain from the teeth, the ear, or the absolutely awful rash the meds have given him. I am making sure to give him 2 servings of the whole milk yogurt a day but this rash is A.W.F.U.L. I am using a wash clothe and water as wipes. But WOW, he is hurting from the burn when he poops, he pretty much just wails from pain. *to the CD-ers: Something I never thought of- Ask for NO DYE, or no flavor antibiotics if you find yourself in need of them. I am assuming it's from the meds. After each poop, our liners are pink .. UGH I am washing them for the first time since the discovery. Hoping it comes out. It took a few poops to put the two together.
• Did I mention - Very.Little.Sleep. I think I have found my breaking point: Ringw.orms + Ear Infection + Teething + Antibiotic Diaper Rash. This morning at 3-6 am MT and I both were in tears. I think this is one of the first times that this has happened. I usually do a better job at keeping it together.
• I read on another blog that this Milestone (9 months) has brought on the most changes. I could not agree more. MT has only been 9 months for 5 days and it seems that once again his development and social abilities are changes by the hour again. I also think this is another reason our sleep patterns have been affected. His lil mind is processing more and more and producing more and more skills. I feel the anxiety creeping in. I felt this way back when he was 6 months also. The anxiety won't last long but it seems like Just when I get things figured out, It's time to change it up on me again. I think the anxiety increases when our sleep decreases also.
• We did manage a boat stroll yesterday. It was so nice to get out in the open air and be on the water.
• He wasn't a huge fan of the life jacket at first but as the ride progressed he became accustom to it.