Where have you been

Wow, Long time no blog - Let's just jump in:

Saturday was MT's birthday party and honestly, It was a blast! I enjoy watching others enjoy themselves. It was at a park and believe it or not, No one melted away. It was under a shaded shelter, and On the gulf, so there was a bit of a breeze. My dad and I made pork, chicken, rice, and beans for a and had all the fixins' for a build your own burrito bar. I am so thrilled with the way everything turned out.

We ate as soon as most arrived. Then after lunch, I had bubble machines and gave each child their own bubble wand to help make more bubbles:

After that, We had CAKE! I ordered a big cake for all of us to eat, but made MT a monkey smash cake:

Here are 2 of my fav pictures from the day. It sums up How I think he felt on his special day: (can you see that grin under all that frosting mess?)

Seriously, It was a great day. He had a nap before the party - despite MIL's efforts to soil that plan. MIL wanted desperately to see MT before the party but I left E with very specific instructions and only 1 task .... Make sure there is an uninterrupted morning nap. After the party was over, E took MT home again for another nap because we just about wore him out! I asked MIL to help clean up (keeping her away so there could be another uninterrupted nap) This time, it didn't go off that well. MIL insisted on coming over and even though instructed to leave a sleeping baby sleeping - Managed to indirectly wake up said sleeping baby with her 4 yr old that honestly needs disciplining in a MAJOR WAY ... but that is all for another post - when I stop being so angry at the drama that she brings my way ... Let's just say, E had to respectfully ask her to leave. It got that bad ... Started by needing a few adult beverages to "calm her nerves" for her grandson's bday party at 11 o' clock .... ..... ............

Whoops, Off track .... Did I mention that a few days ago, MT decided that he could walk! Like clear a room and go where he wants to? He is still crawling too but he throws in walking also. He is very proud of himself! I need to get it on video.

Today was MT's 1 yr check up. It was a great overall appointment. He s weighing almost 22 lbs and measuring 30.5 inches tall. They tested his hemoglobin and apparently he is borderline on the cut off for iron supplements. They prescribed some iron drops, but I am going to need to do some research on this. He was only .4 away and I didn't know we had to do that this appointment or I would have been more prepared. I spent 30 mins with the Dr discussing the upcoming appointment that is needed to give MT a few vaccines that I am unsure of. I was extremely grateful for his time and discussion. He was very nice and informative with answering all my questions. He was thrilled to know that we are down to 1 bottle and says eventually we will have to stop it. I told him that he really doesn't even drink it, He just likes the comfort of the sucking. He told me to put water in it and see what happens. I may do that.

MT calls other wee ones "kids" he will not say baby. He must like the K sound. He walks around saying Kitty kitty and Kids all the time. If he hears children playing, he will look at me and say Kids! Over and over until he sees them. He is also saying: See, Dadee, Mum, Num num num (food) , mam, mam, mam (milk/water), He will not do any of the sign language so I quit. But he is developing his own language and I am trying to make sure that when he says on of those made up words of his, I repeat the real word in hopes that one day, he will get it. We have a doll baby that we have been trying to teach him gentle, easy, hug the baby and such so when our new one arrives he will be somewhat prepared. I dunno if it will work or not, but I am trying.

Sorry, I have been sparse on my commenting lately. I am still reading in between it all. I have also been busy and the nausea is back in full swing again. (I am 15 weeks) Hoping it all gets easier soon again

I don't think there is a fitting title for this post.

Thank you for the good thoughts yesterday – I am feeling much better today. It was a busy weekend. I need to remember to slow down.

Nesting – Here is an example of how my cleaning and brain works. I made dinner and I was trying to put the dinner away and put the chicken in the fridge for the next days’ dinner. I found old things that needed to be thrown out. Left over containers, half empty soda cans, etc. So at 9:30 I am in the kitchen pulling everything out of it to scrub it down “because it’s dirty”. Meanwhile, I have a house full of family. E walks in and asked wtf am I doing? He is laughing because he follows up with, hey crazy lady, nesting much … I had all our fridge contends all over the kitchen scrubbing the shelves… He reminds me that I was only supposed to be putting the food away and getting the chicken out of the freezer to go into the fridge … That I am supposed to be taking it easy….. So he helped me get all situated and back in the fridge and sent me to bed …. And told me not to touch anything else … go straight to bed …

Musings from my Mil so far
My thoughts

“Now you know why I did it so much” referring to pregnancy had having kids ….
No…no I do not know why, our situation is much much different

“I can’t believe that you haven’t gained a lot of weight, I gained so much weight at your age when I was pregnant”
That was because at my age, you were on kid #5

“When are you going to name this poor child, I can’t believe he doesn’t even have a name yet, poor baby is already being neglected”
No response

“I only had 2 kids at home for Easter this year. It was the saddest Easter ever. What am I going to do next year?”
OMG, the youngest is 4, the next one is 10 – tend to them, take them to fun Easter egg hut places instead of moping”

"Now that you know you can have kids, you ready for more?" Blank stare

Giving much unwanted assvice on how to do my lo.ve.nox shot, disapproving where and how my Dr told us to do it. Insisting that I am going to either hurt the baby or tear the placenta …. Seriously an awful awful awful thing to say to me … I ready try to combat my anxieties, I do not need others filling my brain with negative thoughts.

So many more … The vacation isn’t over and all that was only in 3 hours. …

To-do's

I had a few things on my to -do list this weekend.

My shower is May 17th and I am trying to have my registry complete before the invites go out. The more info I read, the more my decisions become clear as mud on what type/kind/things I need to register for. There are just sooo many choices. I don't think planning my wedding had this many choices. Plus I have run into a weird situation - I love to find stuff on the internet. I am finding that not all chains carry the same items - nor have access to ordering the things you may find on their website .... very frustrating. SO when I find something I like, I can't run out and see it. I have found the stores offer similar items but not exactly what I was looking for. Grrrrr

My car needed hand washing. I called my father yesterday to see if he would help me since E was working this weekend. Plus my father has insane OCD when it comes to making sure all things on/in cars are clean enough to eat off of. After my father is involved in cleaning - It will pass the white glove test. So we spent alteast 2 hours making sure it will sparkle and shine.

I came home just in time to greet E in the parking lot and come up with a plan for dinner. His mother and 3 of the younger kids are coming over today and I am supposed to have the house cleaned. So last night, I started getting our house company ready. I was so tired and sore from all the manual labor.

Around 3:30 I woke up in some serious weird upper stomach/chest pain/pinching/crampy feeling. I waddled off to the bathroom hoping that would help. It took alittle of the pressure off the pinching pain but didn't make it much more comfortable. I tried to go back to sleep and finally managed to get comfortable enough to dose off. E's alarm clock went off at 5 and woke me up. I got up to go back to the bathroom. I was feeling better but not completely. He was worried about me, but I assured him sleep would make it all better. I woke up a few hours later, went #2 and started to feel MUCH better. I think my bowels were/are getting pushed on. (or i assume that was the problem - it seems to been some of the solution) I won't lie, it's 12:30. I have company coming in less than 4 hours and I haven't gotten out of bed or done any of the to-do's for today that need to be done before company arrives. I am feeling alittle paranoid, but with each nudge, kick, movement from Mini - I am slowly getting my confidence level back up in order to go clean the kitchen, fold laundry and run to the grocery store to get food for our guests and have dinner ready when they get here. I am not really sure how long they are staying. 2-3 days ish

I keep telling Mini, that he needs to hang out in there a lil while longer and If he does so I promise to take good care of him while he is in there! Any good thoughts you can spare for me today would be greatly appreciated! Hope everyone else is having a great end to the weekend.

Here Kitty Kitty

Fun w/pets preparing for baby speak

A few bloggers have written about preparing their fur babies for the arrival of a baby. I got to thinking about my cats.

I have a black cat (onyx) that is persnickety as all get out. She only loves me - but she only loves me when She decides to. She absolutely hates E. He has done nothing to her, but her hate is strong. She is smart and totally understands the English language. We have had her the longest.

I also have a grey tiger. (sterling) She is fun loving and sweet. She is a pretty lil thing. She loves us both. Only problem, She is so dumb and dopey.

So they were both in the room with us Friday night and we loaded up a few good videos from thattube site and turned up the laptop speakers. I figured they'd both freak out like they do when someone comes over. They run and hide for hours. Nope - Onyx turned her ears back and gave me the "annoyed kitty" look a few times. "Like Dude, the TV is too loud." Then she got pissed off and pranced out of the room. Sterling, on the other hand, was intrigued. She was sniffing the laptop looking back and forth and E and I. Then we got to a crying baby. Her motherly instincts kicked in or something. She wanted to save the laptop. She looked and looked for the crying baby and was in distress and was trying to tell us that there was something going on. She would look back and forth at us like "Fix it. Make it ok." She was patting the laptop and looking around the room.

I honestly assumed they would both pull the annoyed card and move on. But to see sterling get all interested, it was sweet and alarming. She still has her claws ... that may have to change. All in all a fun and entertaining exercise.

I was looking at pictures of progression last night and look what I found. These are 10 weeks apart.

27 weeks

At 27 weeks, your baby's length will have tripled or quadrupled from the 14 week mark. If your baby is born this week, the chances of survival is now at least 80 percent. However, serious complications are still possible. (according to that website - they consider 27w the start of the 3rd trimester) Another website stated that there is a 85% survival birth rate at 27 weeks- Regardless, either stat is good to read. I'd like to make it farther along still, But this info is good to have in the back of your mind. I also read that any rhythmic movement you may be feeling could be associated with a case of the hiccups. These are common this week and throughout the rest of your pregnancy. Your baby can have them but it will be breathing in amniotic fluid rather than air.

I must admit starting a few days ago, I feel I look HUGE and uncomfortable.

After last growth scan w/ the MFM, I panicked. Hearing about leap year and moving my due date up 1 day sent me into a full fledged panic attack. I know that is only 24 hours. It's insignificant, but in my head it was a WHOLE different MONTH ..ya know June IS before July ..... I didn't say I was rational. It wasn't so much the actual due date day being moved up as much as it was a realization that things were coming and sooner than I had allowed my brain to think about. Up until that moment, I was still waiting for the "but" of the situation. Hearing the dr's words made me realize that this IS happening ... Really happening .... and I have not taken time to consider how little time we do have left. I was/am too busy enjoying the now and how far we have gotten verses possibly preparing for the finish line in this pregnancy with a start of a new life to care/provide for.

I have heard of pregnant women having this one defining moment in their pregnancy when they realize that their pregnancy is going to result in a baby and how things are going to be real in just a matter of time. I had that "moment" last week also after that appointment. Things just seemed very Real. Seeing/imagining actually delivering our child. Followed by overwhelming feelings of inadequecy and unpreparedness. It's hard to describe. It wasn't like my ususal fairytale daydreams, or the preconceived notions of the "When I am pregnant, I will do This", nor was it an "ah ha" enlightening moment, It was a "Oh $hit moment" ..It was a bit of reality check for me. Because I am pregnant. It's no longer a when like I fantisized about. and There is MUCH more reality that I had ever considered.
I have been pregnant longer than I have left to be pregnant. .. Think about that. It's spooky.

This thinking sent me in a tailspin. I started trying to have all plans "figured out". I wanted to nail down a shower date .. (yes me - the one that wasn't sure she wanted a shower) I wanted to have all our plans made so we could have a commitment free month of June. *because april and may are completely over stuffed months for us with family birthdays, graduations and other family obligations* I pointed out that, E only has 6 more non working weekends to help me get the nursery set up. Out of those 6 non working weekends, only 2 completely open weekends that can be dedicated to getting all the house/nursery stuff done in time for June 30th. Only 1 of those weekend are after my shower. (e works every other weekend) I thought I had plenty of time. Where did it all go?

Related to getting the nursery getting ready, I have googled changing table more times than I would like to admit. I knew that when I bought just a crib, I was giving up my original ideal "plan"to buy a whole bedroom suite. I figured I could find the additional pieces "later". Last week, I felt like there was no more time for saying things like "later". This weekend, we found a great dresser/changing table combo at a local baby furniture store. It will be at my house by the end of the day today. Now, I really need to start cleaning out that room. My MIL will be here this upcoming week and she will need to stay in there - so we have to make a plan to get that room livable by Sunday. Can you tell Time slipped up on me?

I feel like I have such a long way to go, yet I have come so far. It's a Push me, Pull you kind of feeling. Maybe it's due to my lack there of sleeping.
Our sleeping habits are about to change. I have noticed a bit of swelling towards the end of my very long days and I want to make every effort to lay one my left side. I am now starting to have a hard time staying on my left side on my side of the bed. E sleeps on his right side - which means with me on my left, we are facing eachother and it just creeps me out. I can't sleep like that. It feels like someone is staring at you while you try to sleep. So as of last night, I requested that we change sides. Plus his side is closer to the bathroom.

Speaking of the bathroom, I am waking up about 3 times a night, 11 ish, 2 ish and 4 ish. Sometimes not always 3 times but always 2 times: 2 and 4 seem to be very consistant wake up times.

Please please please know that NONE of this is complaining. These are all just things according to me. I am trying to take in as much of this journey as I can. I am taking it in for what it is worth and documenting my experiences with this pregnancy after IF/losses. It may be helpful - it may not but I do not intend for it to be harmful.

Dr Google Loses this Round

There is so much conflicting information about the start of the 3rd trimester. So I gave in and called both my MFM and OB's offices. They both declare the start of the 3rd to be 28w. According to this website (and many others), using my IUI date as ovulation, it goes right along with what a few of you said: 26w6d - 27w3d mark. So I guess it depends on your dr and their opinions.!? Here is a link my OB's office referred me to on my first OB appt.

Here are 2 pictures from the weekend. *creative belly shots

This is what I see when I am propped up in bed looking down.


This is what it looks like from E's side of the bed. Scary HUH!

Blue Light Special

mostly weekend re-cap - very little p-word until the purple font but mostly embarrassing symtpoms

I have been meaning to jot this down since Saturday. My co-worker informed me that the b.lue lig.ht spe.ci.al store was having huge sales. I haven’t been in the bl.ue l.ight s.pecia.l store in probably 15 yrs. She said she saw maternity clothes for $3. Um that was all I needed to hear to run out and see what I could find. I work in a job that I am allowed to wear “regular clothes” 90% of the time. We have lab coats, uniforms, bdu’s and other protective coverings but, no matter how hard you try, you will get something on you. It’s just part of the job. So I have clothes I wear to work and clothes that are not for work. Some are in the same category and some are not.

So when I hear $3 I immediately think – SAVINGS – who cares if I get stuff on them, I can throw them away if I can’t get it out. I ended up with 4 pair of jeans(pants) and one shirt all for $22. That, my friends, is a steal. I have a clothes addiction – Much like having a purse addiction and shoes addiction …. I LOVE clothes.. I usually LOVE expensive clothes. But Saturday, I was diggin’ the more economical side of clothes shopping. Especially since I am almost in that 3rd trimester – I call that the home stretch. (I still should ask my dr, when they start counting a pregnancy in the 3rd trimester- However I did love Nancy’s answer of 26w6d! That just tickles my fancy! Thanks Nancy.)

Ok so after My super savings, I decided that I needed to celebrate with a pedicure.. I mean what else is a girl to do on a rainy day in Fl. So I tried out this new salon ….. OMG worst pedicure I have ever had … SOoooooo very uncomfortable. I was highly disappointed. I should state that I am a girl that has received many pedicures in my lifetime. I think pedicures are simply divine. I haven’t had one since pregnancy. I was afraid of all the hoopla. Wouldn’t you know it – this lady made my feet bleed. She scrubbed incredibly too hard on the side of my foot with those pu.mi.ce st.on.es. I was a nervous wreck after that. I have since been cleaning it with p.er.ox.ide and ne.osp.r.oin. I asked the peri yesterday and he assured me it looked ok. But I just can’t help but feel a little worried. But the toes are blue and lovely! But you can bet I will never be back there.


I am 26 weeks today. I am definitely larger than before. I am feeling it. I am only up 2 more lbs since my last ob appointment. That’s a total of 8 lbs. ( I am still blaming 1 of those lbs on Mini –since he is getting bigger and I had plenty of extra room to start off with) My sciatic nerve has its moments of hate but mostly controllable by sitting down and putting my legs up. The weirdest thing that I can think of – no, one of the weirdest things I can think of is that by the end of the night,(tmi alert) I have this weird pressure feeling on my pubic bone (I guess that’s where it is) that causes me to have a hard time opening my legs up ( yes I typed that). Like when getting in a car, or walking up stairs, getting out of the bed ..etcs. that movement .. the pressure and doing those actions are noticeable uncomfortable. The other weirdest thing I can describe is – the automatic pee button. This is what my husband and I are calling it. Mini either moves or kicks or does some kind of C.hin.ese wa.ter to.rt.ure trick that can instantly make me pee myself…. (YES, I am doing k.egal.s-have been for weeks) Friday night, going to run an errand, I was on the cellphone with E, locking the door, had my sunglasses and purse in hand – ya know being ultra coordinated. And the automatic pee button was tripped – I dropped everything, desperately tried to get back inside to the restroom and did not make it. I was laughing so hard that It did not help matters at all. Last night, E and I were taking 26 week pics and he made me laugh so hard that I almost did it again … I was so mad at him.. and he – just kept snapping pics while I was wobble running to the bathroom … Boy is he going to get it.

Also – shower talk is in the works. I have to say that I know I posted my fears about that – there are still in the back of my mind, but I am really excited also. Now only if I could get the courage to order this dress … It is hard to justify spending money on a maternity dress when it won’t be worn much. (plus my husband keeps reminding me that the ribbon is pink – and I keep reminding him I AM still the Queen of The Pink)

P-word Dr appointment post, skip to the red for fun facts today

Look, I am in the double digits on my counting widget!!!!!!! Question - way conflicting info - 3rd trimester starts at the 26th, 27th, or 28th week? I have tried to figure this out and meant to ask the Dr today. Maybe I should call back.

Cliff notes : I had my monthly growth scan today and fetal echo. I am 1 day shy of 26 weeks, Mini was measuring 25w4d but weighs 2 lbs 5 oz. (sleeping heart rate 135- which they advised me was “perfect” after the fetal echo) I will take that thankyouverymuch. The wonderful u/s tech was trying and trying to get a good picture of the lil booger. However, Mini had other ideas – such as sleeping with his butt up in the air. Face down.. no cooperation. So no good pics ...

The the u/s tech asked if we knew what we were having, I said yes a boy .. and she says.. “Um I can’t confirm that”. I asked what she meant thinking she just could not see the goods because of the bad positioning this kid has crammed himself in. No she meant, she thought it was the “other sex” ………… We did not leave there until a sex was determined. As you can see below, thankfully Mini is STILL a boy .. it was just bad positioning on his part…. My heart nearly skipped a few beats…. I was wondering what I was going to do with all the pre-collected blue items We had.

Mini is obviously already taking after his father. This morning while trying to get E up – I left the alarm on to annoy him enough that he would eventually have to get up and turn off the alarm clock while I was in the shower and getting ready. (our appointment was about an hour from our house – in the middle of rush hour traffic - so we needed to leave pretty early) I was in the shower and heard the alarm clock going off for nearly 5+ mins. I had to go over and shake E to wake him up after I already had woken him up 3 times before I got in the shower. Basically I am telling you this because Mini REFUSED to cooperate for the U/S tech. She would have me roll over, stand up, go to the bathroom, switch sides, poke him in the hand with the wander, NOTHING was going to move this sleeping kid…. I am only hoping this trend follows suite outside of the womb.(please)

One thing is very certain – Mini likes sleep and was not at all happy with our attempts to wake his lazy butt up. One pic below – he has his hand over his face (nose and mouth) – can we say Theatrical MUCH…. (but look as those beautiful fingers) We have our next growth scan April 21. I made it later in hopes to be more of a convenient time for Mini’s schedule

I learned something today – Because of leap year – the ovulation/due dates wheels that dr’s offices have are all off by one day and so many hours (I forgot that number) So they changed my due date – june 30. It’s one day-ish. No biggie for me really – whenever is fine with me. Just thought that was interesting – So we all may be off by a day + hours.

Things you never want to hear

coming from your Husband's mouth while talking to his mother on the phone -

"Oh yah her (.)(.)'s are huge and n.ipp.les are very dark and sore - the air hits them and she winces ...."

REALLY???? Is that an appropriate thing to discuss with your son?

This is the women that asked her son, (my husband) if the di.ld.o-c.am "excited" me ....

There is so much more from last nights conversation, that if i typed it, You would not believe me.

25 weeks

60% of the way there and 105 Days to go - Mini is the size of an eggplant. I also read somewhere that my uterus is the size of a soccer ball. Thank you very much - way to make me feel sexy huh? Also Mini has been kicking or dancing alot more. It feels like I have Flipper in my belly practicing the backwards dolphin swim. I get weekly updates from here.
This was what I received Sunday regarding 25 weeks about dental hygiene: "Want to keep your baby safely inside you until term? Put your dental floss where your mouth is. Surprisingly, research links good oral hygiene with longer pregnancies. Sounds crazy — doesn't it? Crazy, but true. Something as simple as brushing your teeth at least twice a day and flossing regularly can reduce the risk of g.ingivi.tis — a common condition in which your gums become inflamed, red, and even begin to bleed. Untreated gi.ngivi.tis (that's where the regular dental checkups come in) can progress to peri.odontit.is — a more serious infection of the teeth — which has been linked to pre.matu.re bir.th and even an increased risk of pr.eeclam.psia. Keep on top of your teeth, and that old (untrue) wives' tale — the one that claims that a woman loses a tooth with each pregnancy — can finally be put to rest." - Good to know- thought I'd pass it along.

Mini's development - "The spine is strengthening this week, as the joints, ligaments, and rings form to protect the spinal cord from any injury. The blood vessels in the lungs develop, in preparation for breathing. Your baby’s eyes can open and close now, and they will react to light. His mouth is developing in preparation for the sucking reflex, as well as for swallowing. His nostrils are opening this week, and he may even be able to smell. He is already practicing walking, as his feet pedal up against your uterine wall. With all his twisting and turning, it’s amazing that the umbilical cord remains uncompromised. The umbilical cord is built to sustain life even through all the twists and turns of your baby, as its tough anti-knotting capabilities keep it well intact." I also read the the nostril is opening and breathing is being practiced.

OK TMI inserted here - I am not sure exactly when it happened but reading Hilary's post today made me remember that some where along the lines, my ni.pp.les are the size of small pancakes. Let's not forget that they are as dark brown as i have ever seen. There are some weird things going on there. Size and colors aren't the only thing. This past week, they hurt very bad. They are insanely sensitive and throb. It's very uncomfortable. It's not constant, it tends to come and go in waves. Ok sorry !

Thank you for all the compliments on the crib. I tell ya, I never knew all these decisions and choices were so hard. (or maybe they are hard because of too many choices) I forgot to post the pictures I ordered off e.ts.y. Here is the link. We aren't painting the room. The room is actually pretty close to the color of the walls in the crib picture. Instead we decided to decorate by adding paintings and wall hangings and furniture. We are contemplating a blue/green changing table or dresser. I found a website to order wall letters from. There are 2 that I really like and I can not decide which on to go with. I am going to ask a few friends later to see what their opinion is. If we can't decide, I will post them here and do a poll.

Thank you all for being kind and patient with all the baby prep talk and week update. I do not know if I am able to communicate properly how all of this feels to me. It is very therapeutic, but in the same sense, it's extremely overwhelming and alarming. I still feel like I am just in a very long cycle preparing for something that seems to be out of my reach. But so close i can taste it. I have no idea if that makes any sense what -so- ever. I still recognize the bitterness that I carry around with me at times. Sometimes, It comes out of my mouth and into the open where I have to deal with it - or be confronted by it. Sometimes, it stays in the depths of my mind only to torture me and my thoughts. I feel I am getting more excited every week and i find new fears as well.

That was a weekend of sorts

I been being to post this – someone asked what site I use to track things on my blog. I use this site.

Pre-paring for baby speak - skip to purple to avoid it

I should state that lately, I find it hard to make any decision. ANY … simple ones that really do not matter a hill of beans …. I just do not seem that confident decision maker I was a few months ago. E blames it on me always being tired and in a fog.

Ok so Friday night, we headed out crib shopping with a book of resources in hand. I should go on the record saying that I believe that many of these options/choices/purchases that present themselves to be made for preparing for baby are mostly lead and played up severely by the emotional aspects more so than then being absolutely necessary or vital. *maybe this is because I have much to learn or because this journey drug me across a few million speed bumps along the way to get to where we are. Aloud to actually make choices.* But I have been tryin to make decisions that are not based on emotinal and hormonal aspects and not because "all the cool and great mommies are doing it" - Sometimes it reminds me of being in middle school all over again and I HATED middle school coolness competitions.

Ok so we were standing in the Babies are Them furniture section surrounded by a few choices – we look over and found one that we think is a match. Then the waffling begins. It’s not the BEST … the BEST is $X amount of dollars. My husband chimes in that the lower priced crib will get us through the next ~2 yrs that we need it to get through. It is not a family heirloom we are buying and this crib will most likely never have another baby to sleep in it. It is not a death trap and will not affect his SAT scores. He reminded me that we were there to look for the criteria that “I” had listed on a sheet on paper and this crib fit all those criteria. (Thank God, for rational husbands) So after much “are you sure’s”, “will you be happy and content with is purchase”, we purchased the crib. It is now in my spare bedroom in a box. Cross another to do thing off my list. Here is what it will look like when it’s put together:




Saturday, we went to my parent’s house. E helped my dad redo the flower beds with new decorative rocks and such. I sat on the patio swing and read this new book. So far it’s really good and I recommend it.

Sunday – Well Sunday was supposed to be an eventful day. WE had a list of errands to run but the day had other plans for us. I decided that I wanted a salad from this restaurant. We have one located in our mall and I needed to return a few clothes that I ordered that I did not like – so it killed 2 birds with 1 stone. We went – we ordered, we sat, and sat, and sat… Well I made a few trips to the salad bar but .. People that came in after us had started receiving their orders, and we still sat foodless… I finally asked to speak to the manager and explained that we came in way before these people and still had no food or explanation why our order was taken longer – he explained to me that the kitchen was short and apologized. I explained to him even if the kitchen was short -shouldn’t people who were there first be accompanied before others – about that time our waitress comes RUNNING over with an order and puts it on our table. It was NOT even close to anything we ordered. I calmly explained that was not what we ordered and that I had enough and we would go somewhere else because we had sat there for 45 mins and still did not have the right order. He assured me there right order would be out in nano-seconds and that our bill was free. So the waitress went in the kitchen and came out with the EXACT same food she tried to deliver to us when the manager was there – I did not have the patients to gain explain to her that was not our order. She was all confused as to why I was aggravated and we got um and left the restaurant. I have never in all my #0 some odd years EVER just walked out. But now I can add that to the list of things I have done. We left and received better service here.. Not as healthy, but I needed some protein and dessert bad after that encounter.

24 weeks.. Does that Really = 6 Months?

WOW - I can not believe that I am posting something that is referring to me being 6 months pregnant. You know what they say "Number's Don't Lie" or do they? - So there you have it. My all crazy, over- hormonal self has actually made it to 24 weeks ..or 6 months! It sounds like a MUCH bigger feat when you say 6 months ya know. According to a few websites I am 2/3 of the way there. According to this website I am 58% of the way in. 112 days to go .. REALLY ........ NO WAY! This blows my mind. Time is just ticking away.

Last night I signed up for a Childbirth class. It just all feels so surreal. My dr's office has been requesting that I do this since my february appointment, but something about signing up just didn't seem comfortable. It's done and we wait.


According to this website - Mini's "face is basically complete now. The fetus's eyes are close together on the front of his face and they are still shut. Your baby's ears have moved into their final position on the sides of his head. Where they are now is where they will be when your baby is born! Hair will continue to grow on his scalp and his eyelashes are well developed. Most of your baby's features look the same as they will at birth. Because your growing baby is getting plumper, he no longer has room in your tummy to do cartwheels and somersaults. "

"By 24 weeks the lung cells begin to produce a substance called surfactant, a substance absolutely necessary for successful gas exchange. The absence of this substance is often a limiting factor in the viability of premature newborns, as its absence precludes successful breathing. Neonatologists, or doctors specializing in the care of newborns, can introduce a drug form of surfactant to the lungs of premature babies, stretching viability, or the age at which survival outside the womb becomes possible, even farther back in pregnancy."


I know that some women are worried about their weight gain - Look what I found here: "Much of the weight gained during pregnancy goes to your baby and the products of conception:



Fetus: 7.5 to 8.5 pounds
Amniotic fluid: 1 to 2 pounds
Placenta: 1 to 2 pounds
Increase of blood and fluid volume: 4 to 8 pounds
Uterine muscles: 2 to 3 pounds
Breasts: 2 to 3 pounds
Fat deposits around internal organs: 2 to 10 pounds"

Hope that eases some of your minds.


Here are my updated pics for your entertainment (notice the consignment jeans - not bad for $10)

Ramblins of Weekend Updates

According to my husband – I have developed an increase in hormonal reactions over the past few weeks. I cried when I burned cookies, dinners etc. Friday takes the cake apparently. I went to the grocery store after work and by the time I was done there were tornado warnings, torrential downpours, floods and just plain crappy weather going on the entire state. E called to make sure I was going straight home and getting help with the water and kitty litter at the store to my car. He would get it when he got home. The bagger gave me an umbrella and told me to go get my car and bring it up underneath their overhang and he would load all my groceries – So thoughtful – very sweet. I got half way out to the car and the lightening was popping an the umbrella flipped inside out.. So I was soaked…When I got home, I grabbed the cold/freezer stuff and went inside to start dinner. I bought one of those meals in a bag. Well apparently, I am crazy full of hormones because I opened the bag and just became enraged – I swore the bag o’ food was freezer burned. I was so mad. The rice in the bag looked like perfectly white chicklets – or like it had been Zoomed. I should back this up and explain that I tried to buy meat but all their meat looked terrible. (Now that I am typing this – I am wondering if it all was all part of this pregnancy delusional behavior that I am partaking in that my husband is laughing at) I swear the meat all looked like it was from bad cuts and fatty parts.. Just made me ill. So my dinner plans could not contain any of those meats - it limited my options ... E got off work and I requested that he bring home dinner because the meal I had planned on making was freezer burned. So when he came home in the rain with our dinner – he looked at the bag o meal and said that it was perfectly fine. … So he ate his dinner, and then cooked the bag meal. I tasted it, it was fine, he took it to lunch the next day. Apparently – I have lost it.

The crazy Nesting has begun - Then this weekend, I told E that I had to clean. I worked myself into a pure sweat. I scrubbed, vacuumed, dusted, laundry etc. I went to breakfast and asked my dad how much kitchen faucets cost to replace. Our sink in the kitchen is not deep at all and the spout comes out straight. If you are trying to wash pots/pans you get all wet and have to maneuver in weird positions. And quite frankly I am tired of it, so this weekend I bought a new faucet this weekend (technically my dad bought it for me but whatever) It’s bought, E and my Dad are going to replace it tonight. Along with the toilet guts. Our toilets have been acting funny and the landlord keeps telling me she is sending someone to “look at it”. I have heard that for 6 months now and am over it. (granted we don’t call to follow up – but should I have to ??) So I, (erm my dad) bought complete toilet gut kit and that will be fixed also. YEAH ..moving right along – we will not even discuss our spare bedroom/nursery situation. I have asked several members of my family to help me to come up with a better plan/arrangement for our living room/dining room area. No one will help me with suggestions. I think we need more floor space – but E and my mom are no help- they think is "fine".. Maybe I will ask my father about that tonight.

I found a consignment shop with plus size maturity clothes. I can not tell you how thrilled I was about that. I bought a pair of jeans for $10 and an outfit (top/pants) for $13 and I had a $5 off coupon I found on their website.

I check out how people found my blog pretty regularly. Saturday (or Sunday, I can't remember now) Someone frommy city googled "my full name". and found one of my very first u/s's. I will be editing that - weird

So as you can see – saving birds, crying over meat and cooking, cleaning, and typing this, apparently I am nesting and being quite loopy all at the same time. I already new I was not right – this confirms it. E told his buddies at work about my episodes - apparently they say it gets worse .... Let's hope not

Monthly Dr Appointment

oK - WARNING p-word appointment and random thoughts all over the place -
(yes barb- sad but true-for the most part, I write like I speak/think- scared now?)

Welp, I made it back from the dr's appointment. I just do not understand pre-natal care really. I guess this is coming from an infertile stand-point. I go there, they do things that I really could do at home. Maybe this is based on my fertility treatments. (I mean, we did do our own injections)

Normal appointment: I weigh myself (didn't gain any), I pee in a cup. (i had a few white blood cells today but I told them I was fighting a cold- they were not worried) They take my BP (still really good), measure my fundal height (measuring 24 weeks - I am 23w2d). Nurse asks a few questions, then does the doppler(still 150-160's). Then the Dr comes in ( because I am still considered High Risk). If you aren't HR I don't think you see a Dr. That's it. Very low key

Today, She went over the MFM notes with us. She was pleased to hear how well everything was and has turned out. She disagreed with his thinking on the lov.enox. She found it interesting that he does not think I need the lov.enox and the dose is much too low for someone with that condition in my weight range. She told me that she will mention this to her team of dr's and see what they think of his opinion and notes. I told her, It's just a shot, If she wants me to do more, I will. She admitted that sometimes dr's give prescriptions for things to make the dr's feel better as in "prescribing the risks, so the dr's get sleep at night". I told her I was fine with whatever they decide. They also want me to have monthly growth scans(u/s's). I didn't ask specifically why. I am sure it is based on the MF.M Dr's request which he already told me he wanted to have done either at his office or theirs. She agrees, whomever's office is fine. They just want to have a weight estimate of the baby. (due to my pre-despositions to pre-eclampsia according to the M.FM)

It's good to have dr's that really want to care for you . I know that I may have complained in the beginning, I had a rough start and a weird perspective, I find it easier to relax and trust when I fill my Mini moving and kicking me while we are discussing this pregnancy.

Boy have I come a long way in that thinking. Me- trying to figure out why I am at a dr's appointment?? Am I that comfortable .. Maybe? The receptionist was scheduling my next appointment - and I asked for a later one. I asked for an appointment a week later (making my next appointment in 5 weeks inside of 4) She said "my, you sure have gotten much more confident haven't you?" I just smiled. I really have. I am relaxed about most of this, most of the time. It's quite new for me and somewhat enjoyable. I enjoy this chilled out version of me. I am glad for the pre-natal care. It just seems like after all my RE appointments, it's really simple. And for that statement - I am going to hush and not say that out loud but be eternally grateful beyond measure. In all fairness, It will not really be 5 weeks w/o an appointment. I have another MFM appointment the 24th.

I don't know if i mentioned this or not but my next door neighbor growing up has had 5 rough pregnancies in the last 3 years. She would go into pre-term labor around 20-26 weeks and end up losing the babies. She delivered a beautiful baby girl yesterday at 32w1d. She was on hospital bed rest since 20 weeks, had cerclage since 11 weeks. The baby was 4 lbs 4 oz and 17 inches (they were giving my friend terbutaline and prednisone since 26 weeks to help prepare the baby's lungs.) The baby spent less than 13 hours in the n.ico on a breathing machine to help open up her lungs but is already off and doing fabulous!! SUCH freakin Fantastic News!!

23 weeks

Things that I have been meaning to blog about:

Light bulbs - Did you know that at week 22 a baby can see light. Weird to think about being that there (hopefully) is not light switch in my uterus. I read an article that talked about women/couples putting a flash light on the belly for the baby to see. I have not tried this yet but I really want to (yes I know the harmful affects of rays – so don’t post anything about that- it’s just so fascinating)

Heartbeats – apparently some can hear the heartbeats if you put your ear to the belly around 22-25 weeks – there is contradicting guidelines.

Thank you for those that commented on my blog about my Me’s. It was nice not to receive a flogging.

Weight gain – Apparently Mini will be doing some growing double time for the duration of my pregnancy. Let’s hope it’s just Mini and not me. I am already a big girl, I just want to be healthy.

Sciatic Nerve – Yes, It’s making its presence known. It’s very irritated at me on my left hip/butt cheek area. I walk around some days with my hand pushing on it – Other days – its non-existent. Weird

Because I am a dork (basically) and I wanted to see which was least bad for me. (Because BOY do I really want a Sweet Tea or a Coke haven't had any in a while) I googled “which has less caffeine: tea or coke”. Then I googled “which has less sugar tea or coke”. (If anyone is curious I found this: Basically Coffee has the most caffeine, then Tea (I’m not talking health anti-oxidant green tea- I’m talking Sweet TAY people-you know the kind Britney is good at makin!), then a Coke. But in the sugar department, it seems that Coke has the most because it is the most uncontrollable. Although at a fast food restaurant where I would get the Sweet Tay – I would say that the sugars probably rival each other. Choices Choices Choices….

Cooking - Thing is usually a very simple and easy task for me. I have always enjoyed cooking and am not that bad at it either. Until NOW. I have burned more stuff this week than i have ever in my lifetime. First was the break'n bake cookies, then came chicken, now last nights stirfry.

Sleeping – uhm that has changed a bit. I was making it through the night w/o peeing – Now I am back to waking up to pee. Usually around 4AM. The alarm clocks go off at 5AM. This leaves little time to get back to sleep but, If I do get back to sleep, I don’t wake up until ~8AM – because our alarm clocks have decided to not use the Dual option alarm. (We have one of those smart alarm clocks that has 2 alarms- E’s works at 5- mine has decided to stop this week)

It still amazes me what people (who do not know you ) will ask you when they find out you are pregnant but not before they make sure to get in their belly rub in. If I know you ask away – but If you are a stranger on the street…. REALLY ? Do you plan on breastfeeding? Daycare or SAHM? How much weight have you put on? Are you sure there is only one? Natural or Epidural? Once they found out it’s a boy – Oh, Girls are more fun to dress up.
These are all things that have been said to me ion the past 2 weeks – Really! We have a dr’s appointment Thursday. I am sure it will be uneventful (or I hope so). I am curious to hear what the M.F.M dr told my Dr – if anything.

These are the Days of Our Live ..

The sore throat/achy feeling is back, But I am at work for now.. this is not a good feeling ...

(pre-paring for baby talk) skip to the blue to avoid most of it

Daycare was not that bad- we only have 5 in our area for options. I already narrowed it down to 2 – we went, we visited and we picked. It seems very odd to be discussion daycare needs for an unborn child. I am not comfortable with that scenario at all. But I did want I had to because there are waiting lists … yes our unborn baby is holding a spot for Dec. 08. I am not sure how thrilled I am about that idea at ALL. The daycare we picked is close to our house, and it was the best option for us for now. We put down our non-refundable deposit. I have to say that after delivering this check, I got in the car and cried. Yes the daycare was great, but it just didn’t seem right. E or I have never been in daycare. SO this is all new for us. I am SURE that there is absolutely nothing wrong with day cares. We just wouldn’t know. His aunt and grandmother watched him. My mom was a SAHM after I was born until my sister started kindergarten. Even then, she only was a part time special-education teacher and did not go back full time teaching until my sister was in 4th grade. So she was home with us in the afternoons and every summer. I am glad that we do have options. Don’t get me wrong, But if I end up losing the deposit, it won’t be any sweat off my back …

As for my rings, I guess I should take them off. They are not painful nor stuck – but I do not want that to happen and have to have it cut off or something like I have seen or read about

After the daycare experience – we went to Ba.bi.es are them and finished up our registry for now. And I got a baby bag.(look here - it ataches to the stroller too) I am waiting for the bedding to come in. When we see the bedding, we will pick out a crib, changing table and any other pieces of furniture we possible will need. I have been surfing through Cr.ai.gsli.st. People put baby products on there for free or really inexpensive!! I found a free swing where my parents live ( a few miles up the road), I sent my dad went to pick it up this morning, but it wasn’t where the person told me it would be – so I don’t know what happened there – but no one is out money - I will ask my dad to drive by this afternoon again.

On the SMil stroller/car seat front– she emailed me again and invited us to E’s fathers and her house(s) with pictures. I told E, I really feel weird about that – I would love to take Mini up there but I would feel WAY more comfortable for the first meeting to be not at their house. E’s aunt has taken E under her wing and has a house there and that is where we normally stay. I would feel more comfortable planning on staying at Aunts’ house until I have a chance to actually meet E’s Father.SMil. It just seems weird and I am leery of weirdness – plus with a new baby and knowing how much “stuff” is required, and the fact that his SMil and Father have never spoken to me since the night they told E getting married (to anyone) at his young age (of 26) was the biggest mistake of his life. It wasn’t about me – it was about marriage- That was the night I wish I could do over again – ya know, I assume other people have those. It is not my proudest moment. I was tired of the SMil being so opinionated and rude to a person that she was jealous over in the first place. (E is his dad’s only child and SMIL was highly jealous of the way E’s father felt towards E – she resented it and found a way to spoil/manipulate situations. E needed money for college books, tuition. Rent, you name it, They wouldn’t send him money or pay the bills- they would tell him to get a better or more jobs) but they would offer to send him plane tickets or an x.b.ox or new clothes. But never money to help pay bills. (these are just a few scenarios) So since that monumental night, these are the first time we have ever communicated. I am glad it’s through emails, but still feel’s weird. I know it is all water under a bridge or I assume it is, I am fine forgetting and all that but it just feels uncomfortable.

She asked if they could wait to get the stroller until closer to my due date and then ship it down here unless I saw reason for it to be bought sooner. I haven’t responded yet. But I don’t really care how she does it, I mean they are buying a gift they can send it whenever they want to. I won’t need the stroller really until after Min is here – I will need the car seat before we go to the hospital – I assume she knows that – but we have PLENTY of time. I told eric to email her back - but he said for me to keep up the "good work" argggg......

Never a dull moment around here …

22 weeks ... 18 to go

Someone asked where I got the graphics; the "it's a boy" can be found at ph.oto.bu.cket. I am sure you can find a pink one, The lil person avatar came from y.ahoo.

Here is a pic at 22 weeks - i cropped my head out because my hair looked awful - I meant to take a picture before I laid down ... fell asleep and woke up and it was too late - but here's the belly. I am still so proud that all of the books state that a weight again up to 15 lbs is acceptable. I am still holding at those 6 lbs - but those 6 lbs are really just 6 lbs of the 15 lbs i originally lost from the first trimester - so technically I am still down 9 lbs from my pre-preg weight. And we know from last week Mini is 16 ounces - there is one of those 6 lbs.... Yes I am justifying all of this ;) Mini is the size of a spaghetti squash!! (8-11 inch) so cool. 3 books and a website suggest that rings come off n ow - anyone else do this?

My SMil- emailed me back from my email on Friday - her and E's father want to buy mini the car seat/stroller. It is overwhelming being that she picked the absolutely most expensive things on my registry. (I did not do this on purpose - the items she picked have been on my list since the very beginning) This weekend, not knowing what they had in mind, I was trying to find a more affordable set that I liked but E says not to worry about it, let them buy that one. So there you have it. I emailed her back last night and told her that we were thankful of their generosity and that we appreciate their gifts. So now we just see I guess.

I thought I was getting sick - in fact I am at home today sure I had a sore throat, apparently - it was just allergies and thirst ... *how old am I that I can't tell the difference??

Well since I am home and E is home, i called a daycare center. I managed to dial the number and ask for a tour of their facility. We will be on our way as soon as I get E moving .... I am so nervous, I held out on this off as long as possible - but If I planning on going back to my current job (which I have not fully decide) We need to go get on a waiting list .... They have a waiting list until Jan 09! as of now. So .. Happy 22 weeks, I will be celebrating part of that in a daycare .....Oh do I have mixed feelings about this.?!

If you believe in a higher power - could you please say a prayer for my mother - she has had a rough past 2 yrs and we all thought things were getting better - but this weekend things didn't go so well and we are just a little concerned. To put it generally, She has anxiety attacks and gets overwhelmed.

A Few Changes Around Here

Spell Check is working !! Hurray

I did it, I am sure you have noticed: I updated the name of this blog to reflect my current situation, not to mislead passer- byers. I also added a new shirt to my avatar to reflect my current body image.

p-word and preparing for baby talk – skip to the purple if you do not want to hear about it

This weekend I really found a new level of my comfort zone. I have been able to look at nursery bedding, make a decision and order it. It’s actually very therapeutic and rewarding after all of these years. (I have bought several outfits and find that boy clothes are completely adorable and have fallen in love with plaid and hats …) Mini’s movements are frequent and comforting and refreshing.

I had some reservations about finding out the sex – even after I found out – I told E it kind of felt like deflating a balloon – but after this weekend, I know that is not true at all. It is different knowing the sex. It was a baby before and still is a baby, but now it is My Son, Mini … It has a different feel to it. I don’t know if that makes me sound ridiculous or not – but it's how I feel about it all. In the back of my mind, there is a part of me that wishes I was strong enough to hold on out on knowing – but the fun that I have had this weekend is overshadowing that lil part of my mind.

I ordered this bedding this weekend. Of Course, I picked out bedding that is only an online purchase; you cannot see it or find it in any of their stores. So, we decided that we would order the 4 piece set to see if we still liked it in person. It should be here in 2 weeks(ish). If we like it, we will proceed in picking out a crib. I went on a stroller hunt this weekend as well. I have picked out an expensive set, so I was trying to find one that was not so expensive – but that’s not happening. Every one I find that I think I like, Has a problem for me: the pattern looks cheap, or the stroller is too heavy, or I’m too picky .. I like the original one I picked out …. Yes I am even high maintenance picking out baby item….

Many have asked about names – we have a few names we like but only one we can agree on thus far. I have found this naming process to be VERY important to me. I do not want to just pick a name that I like; I want my husband to help also. It just seems like such a huge task. This is a name that will shape him and stereotype him and a name that he will be forever called. I need to make sure we review all our options and resources. We tried family names – My mother’s side of the family didn’t do well with names – (think major hillbilly), my dad’s family is just as worse there are just more boys on my dad’s side. E family doesn’t have many good options either … So family names are for the most part out. I like uncommon but not far out there names. I enjoyed growing up with a slightly uncommon name and my husband has a more common name and says that he was always his last name or a number so he also is leaning towards fairly uncommon. Although – His #1 rule – the name spelling can not be creative. So our naming style seems to be classic and traditional... any suggestions?

On a very random and wacky scale: My Step MIL emailed us this weekend. The woman that has nothing nice to say to me and told E that she and his father were writing him out of the family if E married me(E is his dad’s only child and the SMil Doesn’t have any) – a person that NEVER HAS MET ME but thinks I am the worst person on the planet – a women that tore E’s and his fathers relationship to pieces for the past 6 yrs. (I am not innocent in this situation because I lack the ability to keep my mouth shut and told her a few places she could visit that aren't exactly pleasant or suitable places to go) Yes her – she emailed me this weekend. We went to E’s grandmother’s funeral like 3 yrs ago in Wis and flew on a 2 day notice and was not invited to their house at all. Nor did she speak to me or try to get to know me. We flew up a different time to attend a family wedding a yr later – which she still never spoke or acknowledged my existence. I say all of this because all of a sudden – she sent me the nicest email in the world. She is happy for us and knows a baby has needs and wants to purchase an item for us signed Gramma. I asked E what he wanted me to do – his advice wasn’t good – so I emailed her and told her that I started a registry at the babies are them store and that it was a work in progress. That we appreciate their excitement and are glad they are interested in sharing this experience with us. So … there you have it, More family drama. I hope I did the right thing. If they want to buy a gift that is great – If not – that is great also. I would love to be able to leave all the crap behind!

We Have *updated with pictures

"a live one" According to the U/S tech. I have a rambunctious live and healthy baby.

SHe was having a hard time seeing the goods... SO she skipped that part and started measuring the limbs, brain, heart, heart some more.. I got ot watch the blood flow from the heart chambers and umbilical cord.. OH VERY neat.

THEN .............. She says OH are you Ready for this .......




Here are the BOY Parts!!

We have a healthy rambunctious little boy and we couldn't be happier! I met with the absolute best dr ever. He truly is a dream dr and just put all my fears at ease and handled us with care and professionalism. *more on the appointment later - of course I have a new diagnosis

(sorry it took so long to update - we had to travel a long way to get to the dr's office and then through horrible Tampa Rush Hour.) But It was worth it for the wonderful DR- I go back to see him in a month!

Here are some u/s pics:

face profile you can see nose, lips, chin and a curled up arm under the chin


Mini is actually looking straight into the wand/camera/probe - Say Hey

It's that time... Really it is

(anyone know why my spell check isn't working?)

Our apartment is no longer a baby(stuff) free zone. We made our first baby related purchase. A friend of mine found this on cra.igs.list for $20 in our area. So, Saturday morning, we went and bought it. I was/am so excited about this purchase. My husband was not a fan of having "that stuff" in our house for a while. So, I feel as if it's a new chapter. We broke the trend. my husband laughed that our first purchase is a safety item purchase - he says that is a not so subliminal message about us as a couple. We (finally) cleaned up the place this weekend - or as much as I could get help with. I have been neglecting it quite a bit and it was beginning to become very overwhelming. E got a sore throat/ear ache and didn't feel like tackling the "big stuff" Like I had hoped for. But there is a floor now, and a couch, and a kitchen, table etc. It is starting to look much much better.

We were going to see J.un.o yesterday, but i decided against it. So I told E to pick a movie instead. he picked this ( for me obviously). It is a pretty, cutesy movie, pretty romantic and just like you expect it to be. I just eat these cheesey movies up. I know i know ..I shouldn't admit that. I also find HIM (or his movie characters) So utterly YUMMILICIOUS!!! Which made the movie all more enjoyable.

Ok so .. Now, It's that time, the one that seems like it was never going to come, but I wasn't sure I wanted it to come time. You know, the "do i want to know, or not know" debate that I have been having with this blog and in my head. Well, We have our anatomy scan for sure tomorrow at 1:30 by the mfm dr's. I think I said things like "no. I don't want to know, but the suspense is killing me, Yes, let's just find out..... BUT NO, let's not and be like in when our parents were pregnant.. WHO am I kidding, There is nothing about this pregnancy that is like any of our parents" ... So on the way to the movies my husband (who never really voices his opinion) states that he would like to know. He knows that I can't make this decision on my own and knows that I really want to know I am being held up and bound by some kind of fear, rationaland/or irrational. Have I mentioned that honestly - he is just the perfect balance for my all time craziness...I truly got lucky in this department. He is just so completely perfect for me and must really pay attention because he just knows what to do to keep me sane (most of the time).

ok tangent... all that to say ..It's really that time ... 25+ hours, one more sleep, We will know.