What was I saying

February 3rd- Was my 2 yr Blogoversary. I missed it ... Like alot of things these days.

Speaking of missing it. Sarcasm... AF was back this week with avengence. I miss not having to have a period. My body was so kind to me when I didn't have one. Now, it's back and It's heavy and hormonal. This month I spent a few days first yelling lots and being Way overly moody. Fun times. Then found myself hunched over the toilet/trashcan praying to the porcelain goddess. This period has been the worst one in the longest time. In fact, I actually can't remember having a period this bad in years.

Added to the list of things I am missing lately includes, My mind. You hear pregnant woman talking about the pregnant brain, pregnancy fog. Well Mine has gotten progressively worse over the span of the pregnancy/birth. I am now at the point where i have to send myself text messages. I swear to you, the other day. I parked my car for an event and I actually sent myself a text message of the cross streets where my car was parked. IT.IS.THAT.BAD. I started talking with my landlord who had a baby a few weeks before me ..Oh I should mention the reason I was talking to her was Because I forgot that Feb had less days then the other months and forgot to send her our rent check ..... See, It's affecting everything. She mentioned that she also had this "forgetfulness" also along with some other similiar symptoms that I have going on. She went to the Dr a month ago and found out that her thyroid just stopped doing it's job. The Dr said that this is fairly common after pregnancies. So with that mentioned. I think I need to schedule a dr appointment and have things checked out.

It's really an awful feeling to not be totally with it. I mean, not like I ever had it "all together". But Wow, sending texting messages to yourself = a whole new level. Post it notes, for post it note reminders .... The embarassing list goes on

Thanks for playing along with the "what tv show are you addicted to" Posts. I forgot to mention that I am finding enjoyment in United States of Tara and Big Love. I tried to get into the Wire. It is on our On demand option and I just couldn't do it. I got 3 episodes in and lost interest. Tv is my brain escape these days.

Proving I can leave the house before 9am

MT has surgery in the morning. (to correct some male related issues) I am not as nervous as I thought I would be, yet. I am sure tomorrow standing there in the hospital turning my baby over to the surgical team, that is when I will start panicking. I kept him up a little late tonight to try to get more fluids in him. I can breastfeed him until 6am. We have to be at the hospital at 7:30am. I am actually very nervous about his demeanor tomorrow morning after 6 am when I can no longer feed him. He is not a calm, mellow fellow when it comes to food. He is quite loud and demanding when he wants to eat. I think I am so nervous about that aspect of the morning that I haven't even allowed myself to get as far as thinking about the actual procedure and anesthesia part of the day. I did cling to him alittle tighter today. I did hold him pretty much every nap today ... Just because I can.

We actually made it to church this morning. Church is during one of his naptimes. Which is one reason why we haven't been much in the mornings. I was worried how this would work for us. But, he sat in my lap and played with his monkey, then got sleepy. He laid his head down on my shoulder while we were standing and singing. I put the blanket over him, bounced him and he just went to sleep until the service was over. I tried to get him in the car seat but that's when he woke up. He really is a good boy.

One good thing that returning to work p/t has done has allowed me to figure out how to get out of the house before 9am with my child. This weekend, we have left the house before 9am both mornings. Saturday morning, we went to a Christmas parade. The library had people giving books to children throughout the parade. I thought that was a fantastic idea. We walked away with a ton of books. MT was sleeping for the beginning when about 15 fire trucks and police vehicles were announcing the start of the parade with their sirens. This kid really could sleep through anything..

I started my period today. I can't wait until tomorrow. I can begin taking tylenol again. Since MT couldn't have any meds before his surgery, I figured I better not as well.... but boy could I use some cramp relief .... and SOON

I'll leave you with our christmas card for the yr:

I wish everyone a very blessed season.

If you have any input on car seats, please help those of us getting ready to purchase new ones.

Ob-La-Di

It's been over a week since I posted. I have been busy being busy. If that makes sense.

The Return of that pesky Aunt was .... pretty intense. I think that is what mostly led my feelings of being too overwhelmed,angry and upset to discuss the topic of family planning with my sister. (it was a few days before the Aunt showed herself) .. I am not sure if it was as pretty hard period or if I just forgot what they were like. Either way ... Not fun but it's over now and I am curious to see if/when it returns. I am wondering if the pcos is going to keep me guessing. I have a rx of met back. I have not taken it yet. I am still bfing and my dr made it pretty clear that I was not to take it while bf-ing because it has not been studied enough in her opinion... Any thoughts?

Solids- We have stopped and started solids more times than anyone I know. MT hates cereal. (and it locks him up) I am wondering if he is like me and has "texture" issues. I have texture issues. I hate Jello, pudding, oatmeal, custard, rice pudding, some types of lettuce, cream of wheat etc .. All because of texture issues. So after 3 weeks of no solids, I went back to trying cereal again .... again he hated it ..I decided to bake a sweet potato and mushed it up with breastmilk and fed him that. He loved it. So for 3 days we did sweet potatoes 2 times a day.. about 1 oz total a day.

2 Nights ago, MT woke up in the middle of the night screaming. This was his first time waking up in the middle of the night since he was 5 weeks old. I had no idea what to do. It was uncharacteristic. (please don't hate me for writing that) I patted his lil tummy and tried to get him to stop crying at first w/o picking him up. Well after about 3 mins of trying that method, It was obviously not working. I picked him up and he did not immediately stop crying, but the crying was not in high alert like it was before. I put him on my shoulder and just walked around bouncing him and he finally went back to sleep after 20/30 mins so I laid him back down. He slept pretty good the rest of the night.

Last night, I decided to try jarred carrots since he seemed to enjoy sweet potatoes. About 2 hours after he ate them, and had just got a bath, he threw them all up. All over ....I am not sure what happened there really. I checked to see if he had a fever .. no, fussy ..Yes, miserable ....Yes, flailing in pain..yes, arching his back ... yes, farting up a storm ....Yes... MT has a bout of gas. He has never had gas that caused him pain before So once again, I wasn't prepared. He is also teething pretty bad again.. Drool is flowing like a fountain again the past few days .... and everything goes straight into his mouth to be gnawed on. MT was up WAY past his bedtime last night, obviously .. He slept til 9 this morning. All seems fine now. He has ate his bottles, I did skip the lunch time solids .. Maybe he just is not ready for that yet..... Maybe it was a fluke thing and he caught the bug my husband had ...

E has been sick for what seems like a constant 2 weeks for me ... But in reality just has been about 8 days ... It started the day of my sister's weekend. He was so ill that he didn't actually attend most of my sisters wedding. Which left me passing MT off to family members while I completed my matron duties. (making sure marriage license got signed and in the car, packing her car with food for her travel, and packing stuff from her apartment that didn't get moved earlier because she actually returned to a different city after the honeymoon) ..It was a busy day. Then We returned home and E wasn't feeling great and always tired ..then managed to get the flu ..... So it was a constant taking care of 2 people .My patience's were running SO thin .. I was exhausted and dealing with AF.

But It's a new day, things are looking up ... and i have this to make my days much brighter:

The Return

Thank you for the compliments about the wedding - We had a blast.

BUT now - back to reality ... UGHHhhhh..

Laundry is stacked to the ceiling ..... MT thinks he should be held all the time. (product of being on vacation and everyone passing him around like a football and providing him lots of entertainment)

But the worst part ... I am finally having my first "real" period. I say real because I have been having this period for longer than 1 day. The other periods were more like spotting for a few hours. Last week I thought I had a cyst. I had that weird pressure-y/pinchy feeling Like I remember cysts being. I have been complaining about backache for a few days now, yesterday it was really awful. Enough to warrant med's and sleep. I thought I had pulled a muscle. I went to the bathroom and discovered the return of the Aunt no one wants ... and Today..OH today .. Well, It is just like I remember .... UGH the bloating and pain ..I am off to take a hot shower.

Anyone have or ever use one of these?

Vacation

First Off ... I apologize for the short, snarky post the past few days .. I guess that the hormonally induced AF got ahold of me - it sucks and I am sorry

Secondly - Packing with a new small family member that requires so many different gadgets, Is beyond interesting .. Generally Speaking, I overpacked ..but I felt it was better to be prepared than caught off guard.

Things I packed -
Anticipated 3-4 Outfit changes a day
Anticipated 2 dirty blankets a day
hat
Pack n Play and sheets
wipes
wash cloth/towels
boucey seat
stroller
sling/wrap
breastpump
bottles
bottle warmer
dishwasher basket
diaper bag and etc.

Things I forgot and had to go buy
Bottle Brush
Diapers (yes i really forgot diapers)
Baby Wash

Things I Wish I had brought -
Baby Monitor

The vacation, so far, as been great fun (in spite of AF and her shockingly early arrival). The others are catching us some lobster which I am very glad about. We are having a great time. Let's see how we all manage after the 7/8 hour car ride tomorrow. We left at night the first time so I was not worried about MT sleeping .. But tomorrow we are leaving during the day - should be interesting.

Of course, Here are some pics:

WTF

It's been 16 days since the Old AF .. WTF am I bleeding again?? I haven't taken the mini p.il.l Yet..... Maybe I should? Is the Beoytch making up for lost time? What a lovely way to start the first morning of vacation ...

Mental Note - next time I go on vacation - I will bring the baby monitors .... (or maybe I am a paranoid over protective, smothering mother)

Unusuals

*MT stands for Monkey Toes

Yesterday was an unusual day for me

First - I woke up and was re-visited by an old acquaintance. AF .... Yes HER ... Yesterday was exactly 6 weeks from delivery. I am still pumping and BF-ing. I panicked. All research denotes that supply drops off after the first cycle. I have to say chalk one more weirdness up to my body .. My supply has improved over the past 3 days. Let's hope that continues to be the trend. It is a VERY weird feeling to have a period and not need to call a dr about it to plan for upcoming treatments. For the last 2 yrs, the routine has been CD1- call Dr. and notify it's CD1 .... Now, It's CD1, I wasn't expecting it ... I thought it would stay away longer and most likely need to be medically induced. I am unsure if I can use tampons yet. My next re-check is Monday. I guess I could call and ask. This is just something I was not expecting at all. I am interested to see how this is going to affect my PCOS and cycles.

Second - My husband and I had a very good conversation about my next dr.'s appointment, our future and our relationship. My very lovely, patient husband reminded me of what he has had to endure over the past year. He has been neglected in certain ways over the past 12 months. He was not complaining, we were sharing our feelings about where we are now mentally and where we needed help, love, support and what we needed to keep our relationship growing and moving in the same direction. I appreciate him so much, I appreciate his faithfulness, his character, his companionship, his love, his patience ...i could go on and on! It was a great talk, one highly needed and done with such openness and a compassionate heart and temperament.

During this talk- We discussed my upcoming Dr appointment. I told him that the Dr is going to want to talk birth control. We both are of the same mindset - no pill. I have been pumping my body with hormones for yrs - to induce a period, try to induce ovulation, and conceive....I am still bfing - therefore my options are limited - and we are ok forgoing the whole pill option and use other less medical options .. It's a risk we are willing to take

Lastly - We went to a pediatric urologist to discuss a body part I have little knowledge and experience with. Overall, it was a great appointment - the dr thinks that most of his situations will correct themselves in his first yr. He was glad his pediatrician was so attentive and wants us to come back in 6 months for another look/see. He has a few very minor ad.hes.ion's and a hydr.ocele - all are very common and tend to correct themselves.

Things with our daily routines are back to normal - less crying, more happy times, lots more smiles and alert behavior, and eating about every 3-3.5 hours. I am hoping to decide on a place to take MT to get professional pictures soon - He is changing daily.