More of the Life

Halloween was so much fun. We had a few parties we went to and on Saturday, We joined up with my parents friends that take their kids around to their friend/families houses on a hayride. I was afraid of riding on the trailer and E had to work, So my Dad volunteered to help out. He rode on the trailer with MT as I rode on the inside of the truck. MT had a BLAST! He had no idea what was going on. He absolutely adored riding in the trailer with all the kids and candy. He smiled the whole time. All 3.5 hours. I thought we would have to get off before they were done riding because he would have been so tired, but the kid's energy must have kept him going. And as long as he was enjoying himself, I let him ride. He consumed WAY too much candy that night. But You are only a kid once and a lil candy never hurt anyone. That was the latest he has ever been up in months though. And he enjoyed every minute of it. And I thoroughly enjoyed him having so much fun. I still can't figure out how had more fun, My Dad or MT.

Ok, Let's talk about this daylight savings time ordeal ....... It's been almost a week and I think we may be back on track. What a terrible thing to have .. Daylights Saving time! They tell me I gained an hour, but WOW does it feel like I lost about 10.

My group that I hang out with threw me a baby shower at the Mouse/Cheese place the other day. I am soo grateful for them. It really made me feel very special and blessed.

(remember these are MY feelings about This pregnancy - not everyone has to agree or disagree)

Speaking of the pregnancy - I have been having weekly NST's for the past 3 weeks. A few weeks ago, I received less than favorable news. My MFM did a growth scan and the baby was estimating about 7lbs 10oz. at 1 day shy of 35 weeks and low fluids. His Conservative opinion was the schedule a c section in 2-3 weeks. The term is macrosomia ( big bellied baby - it is from me being Gest. Diabetic) I asked him if anything was showing that the baby was in distress or anything that would warrant a schedule c-section. He did not see anything else alarming. The fluid was low, but it was not that low and fluid levels increase/decrease so it could have just been a bad time to check fluid levels. I had an OB appointment the next day. The OB I saw was all about a scheduled c- section. I lost my mind.

The reason I lost my mind, Something I have never posted on this blog (i do not think). I was put into labor at the MFM's office because of an Amnio at 36 /37 weeks with MT. It could have all gone very bad, but we all know it did not he was/is fine and had no complications from his delivery. So the MFM already told me that he would not do an amnio for this pregnancy.

The morning the did that amnio on MT they also did a growth scan and told me that he was ~9lb baby. He was delivered about 10 hours later weighing 7lbs 8oz. So growth scans to me, are just guesses and are not right 99% of the time. And can be a tool to freak mom/families out with and guide dr's. It is not at all exact.

I would want an amnio done to check for the lung maturation before I would feel comfortable about a scheduled section before 37 weeks.

I am also on blood thinners. Having major surgery becomes such a huge timing thing when on blood thinners, plus it leaves me at a higher % of getting blood clots after the surgery. Not something I want to worry about while adjusting to having a 17 month old and a newborn. I explained my opinion to the OB and she told me that they would have to get back to me at my next appointment on what they decide is best.

Yesterday at my weekly NST and Dr appointment, The Dr that was there to deliver MT, was my OB that day. She is also head of the practice and one of my Favs. She helped decide that as of right now, There is no need for a scheduled section. She is hopeful that I will go into labor on my own. I have weekly appointments/NST's. In 2 weeks, If no baby yet. I will have another growth scan to look at the baby's belly and hope it is the same ... If i make it to 39 weeks, Induction will happen. So ~3 weeks, MT gets a brother and I gain a newborn. Until then, you can find me walking, walking, walking, walking standing vertical often and chugging water to bring on the labor!

The Game

Oh, I have loved hearing about your dinner recipes. I was getting so bored, or stuck doing the same thing over and over again. It was a refreshing and much needed post.

I had another growth scan with Dr Wonderful today. But today's was extra special because MT went with me to meet his younger brother. Jen and Elizabeth met us there so they could help me with MT while having the growth scan done. It was so much fun! All is well with Armadillo. He is measuring about 6 oz heavier than MT was at this same gestational age. So not bad, really. We showed MT his lil brother on the U/S TV. It was so cute. Jen brought her camera to take pictures for us! YEAH Jen .. Such smart thinking. After the appointment, we went out for lunch and had some girl time. It was a fantastic day.. I do not want to say too much because Jen is a much better blogger about this type of stuff AND she has the pics to prove the outing occurred.

**A week ago, The "No" game become so annoying to me. If you are not aware of this game, I will describe it briefly, mom says "no", baby ignores, laughs, Mom says "no" about 30 more times in a variety of tones and melodies, Baby keeps doing said "no" task, throws in some more laughter and ignoring. ... Mom somewhat laughs and smiles a few times to keep her head from popping off and rolling on the floor ...... I decided that I could not listen to myself say "no" one more time. Really, because No one was listening. And it was NOT EFFECTIVE..... Somehow, I just came up with thte phrase "Back Away". It is literal. I showed him what I meant by Back Away a few times and now by the second or third back away .. He is backing away. The first few times we did this lil exercise, He looked at me to see if I was serious or not ...... And Now, He knows that I am serious when I say this to him.

Do I think that eventually, This will stop working, Unfortunately, Yes. He is only going to be 15 months on the 10th. I know I have a long ways to go. But I just feel like enjoying this small victory right now and I will enjoy that feeling ... and figure out what is the next step to take when/if this stops being effective.

**I did not read this in a book, I am sure there is a book containing this info, but I just was trying to think outside the box on the fly ... Plus, I can say Back Away in a tone that makes him recognize that I am serious, No seems to be hard to say in a tone that Always sounds serious.

Lots-o-stuff

Help - My friend T-Mommy is in need of some Donor Advice. I know that some of you reading have experience in that area. Can you help her out.

Questions/Opinions/What would you do: Scenario a 17 month old and a Newborn - The consensus seems to be, I need a dble stroller - what kind have you liked or would buy? Do I leave my 17 month old in a crib and when I am ready for the newborn to go in a crib (we put MT in his own room around 7 months) transition MT to a bed? So possibly leaving MT in his crib for another yr at ~26 months before placing Armadillo in the crib? Do I need 2 cribs? I do not have any extra bedrooms so Armadillo will be bunking with us until I feel like I can put 2 children in the same bedroom or we move ..... again .. Thoughts?

I had my OB appointment today and I was worried that things would not go so smoothly. It is no secret that My OB and Dr Wonderful do not seem to see eye to eye on some of my treatments. The thing is I love Dr Wonderful, I like 2 of the OB dr's really well and their office staff. I dislike alot of their nurses. The office just has a different feel to it. I am not sure if it's because they switched insurance companies or have too many patient to dr ratio. But I try my best to get through it all. because I do really like 2-3 of the 5 dr's there. That is 1/2 rate and I know it could be much worse, I have seen and read much worse.

But today went very smoothly. Exceeded all my expectations .. Granted it was with the 1 Dr i do favor the most. She was willing to listen, She did not scoff at me for not taking the 3 hr or talking to their office about it first, she read why the dr and I agreed to start me on Met, She didn't even yell at me for forgetting my sugars recordings and my pregnancy passport.

She calmed my nerves about the 2 or 3 root canals I am having tomorrow and assured me that it was best to take care of them now then later. It was a pretty low key appointment. Which I like. I do have to go and get a lab done to test my blood because I am still on lo.venox which is no big deal, I can do whenever for that.

Life in general, seems to be going ... And going well most days. Basically, I am learning to adjust. My husband is adjusting too so we are all making compromises and it's nice to not feel so out of control all the time.

MT is a grand ole 14 months. He has replaced walking with running. He went through a phase of semi-regression for a few weeks. Needing to be held, needing 2-3 naps a day not spaced out very well, not eating to eating everything in sight, forgetting the words he knew. It was weird and interesting and annoying all at the same time. He would just get frustrated and not help me figure it out. He would just say Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh all the time. But after 2 ish weeks of that - we seem back to a semi regular scheduled program Ish .... He is cutting the dreaded eye teeth and every day is a guessing game on if he will be crankypants or not ... Or take a morning nap or not ... Or eat or Not ... It seems that when "they" tell you that after that first yr - things will get more regular, they forget to include unless teething, or baby sicks, or new developments, or mom is pregnant .... ETC.

MT has learned some new tricks though in all that new growing and learning he is doing. He has added ThankYou to his vocab. It's more like dank guoo or dank dank but he says it after you help him or give him something he was trying to get.

Music is a MUST in our house, I turn on the upper lever music channel alot. We have one directed towards Toddlers and MT LOVES it. He will sit and play on the floor, run around, and dance for hours listening to the music. We just got a L.aurie Be.rkner CD (rocketship run). She by FAR is MT fav. One song counts down 5,4,3,2,1 and I was doing the numbers on my hand 2 weeks ago just for something to do, MT has caught on! He tries to count down with the song with his hands every time he hears it. Or if he wants to hear the song, He holds up 5 fingers and shakes his hand. He really is a sponge. I have since showed him how to do 5,4,3,2,1 and he is very proud and Happy when we do this together. It's amazing how their lil brains work all the time. The development is such an amazing process for me to watch. I love that I get to experience it.

No more Tip Toeing

Infertility is So bizarre to process and I am warning you right now - Up front. This is going to be a very hard post for me to write and this is going to be a very hard post for most to read. These are MY feelings and I am allowed to have them, Because they are Mine and this is my blog. It does not mean anyone else will like them or agree with them. If you are not in a great space mentally right now - I am warning you now - You may need to come back to this post much later. I have no intentions of offending or losing any readers/commenter's. I am just trying to get back to being able to blog and pushing the elephant in the room to light.

I have always been honest on my blog - Very very open and Honest. The past few months, I have not been completely open and honest with my feelings. But, Now, It's time to break that cycle:

I am having a VERY hard time being pregnant this time around. Mentally and Physically. Let's take it back a few months - I fantasized about the Idea of being pregnant again, idealized the idea of being able to decide that when I would want an #2, It would just happen .. You know, Like, Pick when you are ready and start and magically fall pregnant - Just like a fairy tale ..Or the Movies ..... Once We all adjusted to life with MT and would be feeling a groove and feeling Ready ...... Yes THEN ... that would just be divine, but if we never have #2 ..I know the blessing of one gorgeous little boy and I will be fulfilled with him

Then I started having "health issues" that I just knew were my PCOS acting up again ..... I took pregnancy test because people kept telling me to .. Now that I think about, they were actually faint lines and Not Evap lines ...

Then The dr's confirmed that I was in fact, Pregnant ... My first thoughts were, Oh Well, Here we go again ... Just more miscarriage to add under my belt. I found out I was 8 weeks and was waiting every day to find out that it was just another chemical pregnancy or that I was going to start bleeding at any moment. And week by week, Life went on, and I was somehow still pregnant. No Met, No aspirin, No L.ovenox, No med's to make me ovulate ... Nothing .. I felt like a fish out of water. This was not known territory. 7 yrs, No birth control, a few too many positive pregnancy tests and lots of Dr's bills and One beautiful MT to show for them. People knew we had to seek medically intervention to get MT on earth and asked if we went through it again so soon ... I was now THAT myth ... That girl .. to continue to perpetuate the story telling of friends to friends that know a friend that once they gave birth, all their fertility problems were fixed .... But are they really? What does fixed imply ... That I was broken? And not not? I endured more "i told you so" than I would like to recall

Each trip to the bathroom to vomit profusely, reminded me that I was still really pregnant and also caring for a 9 month old ...(is there a nice way to describe all day sickness?)

The dr's appointments came rolling in, Yip, Still Pregnant .... I am not sure when I actually processed that I Really was pregnant and possibly going to be pregnant until they say Dec..I say Nov....

All this time, I know that I know that I know and believe the blessing it is to have a child ... to be pregnant and caring for a child. I know with all my heart that this is a blessing beyond any blessing ... ..But ... Here is the But

MAN! It's So hard. It is not like my pregnancy with MT, where I have all the time in the world to enjoy downtime and take time for myself and get pampered and be totally intoxicated by the hormones and love and dotting friends/family. This time, I am chasing a very active Tot, being very very sick, peeing on myself because I could not make it to the bathroom in time because I was taking care of one of MT's immediate needs and having to neglect that "OMG I have to pee feeling", standing outside in the heat index of 107, bitterness of years of heartbreak, bitterness of treatments, bitterness for friends who deserve to be a Mom times two because I am not that great at handling one some/most days, Bitterness of timing, Bitterness is UGLY ....... This is not the circumstances I ever imagined when daydreaming of #2 .....

All of this is just touching the surface of the emotional aspect of having your body flooded with an overload of hormones again. There are so many emotional layers to infertility .. Like an Onion .. I peel back each layer to only find more layers of raw-ness. More layers of deep rooted hurt, Dealing with More very hurtful losses of friendships, More inconsiderate, hurtful comments and feeling of Am/Was I really infertile after all ... Doubt .... Sending me to places that are dark. Rocking my core.. Confusing, Mixed emotions of loss, birth, cures, doubt .. Questioning my very being, My bitterness, My blessings, My struggles, My feelings, My life ....

The only thing that I can do it, accept it, Move on ... Embrace it head on. This is my Life, the cards I was dealt. I can't change it, I can't make excuses for it. I have to Learn as we go ... And try to make the absolute most I can out of it, Try to keep the friendships I have, Open and honestly ... and Hang on for dear life ....

Hang with Me

P talk - just warning - skip to the white
Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes and Congratulating our Newest Member of the Blue team. We are so excited to be able to re-use all of the cute blue things! I have been asked a few times if I was disappointed that I am not going to be able to celebrate with Pink - and honestly, I am not at all. Not in the least. In fact, I really didn't ever believe I was carrying a member of the pink team. Every time I heard it, I laughed .. and thought to myself ... We'll show them!

I am intrigue how completely different this pregnancy is from MT's though. I would be willing to say that Everything is different. My sleeping or lack there of (Hello Insomnia), my nausea (that sill lingers on), my tiredness, my aches/pains, my hormones (that are taking over), my patience's, etc. Everything just feels so out of control/sorts and different. To answer the Name question: No, Of course not, We do not have a name picked out yet. We are working on it. It's going to take months, I am pretty sure of that

This should be entitled "Why I am such a craptastic blogger friend"

• I have mentioned my mom before, Well, She is not doing well. Things got severely bad about 5 weeks ago and We had to deal with that. My dad just can't do it on his own, So I try to step up and help out. It is still not much better than when it started 5 weeks ago ... but hopefully we are on the right track with her and She will be doing much better soon. To top it off, they have found cancer cells on one of her biopsies. So in a few weeks, I have to go with her to get more tests done and some more skin grafts
• Teething - Really, I hate to even have to include this on my blog ever again but it seems that Teething is our "thing". Poor MT, He just cannot handle it. AT.ALL. Medicated up and all, I see no relief. I tried the Hyla.nd's teething tablets, they made him vomit all over. .. Not sure what else to say about that - It sucks Royally.
• New work schedules - We will soon be adjusting to E's new work schedule that will leave me and MT on our own for months basically. This is scaring the bejezzess out of me. Because of this, I had to quit my p/t job for now. I am hoping to figure out, at some point, How to manage working a job outside of the house into this life of mine.
• Adjusting to my 22 yr old BIL living with us. WOW, the challenge that this causes could honestly be it's very own post. I am just trying to not sweat the small stuff, keep the language and such at a G rating - and failing miserably. Things are going to have to be discussed at length, I can see this coming. We have tried by making comments to him about it - but I think we are going to have to make some ground rules .... He always has a comment back to our comments - and remember He was raised by my MIL - not the best Role Model. And certainly not the best example of how I like things to go down at my house.

I am trying my best to stay afloat and keep up with everyone - but honestly - Not doing a great job at that at all ... Hang with me, Don't give up on me commenting, This too shall pass ... and I will be afloat again soon.

It's a Small World After All

It was so great to see Dr. Wonderful again! I am not sure I ever wrote down that the day of delivery, I met a nurse that worked for Dr Wonderful in Detroit before moving to our area. She did not know that Dr. W was practicing in the Bay area and had very good things to say about him. Which I fondly agreed with all of her sentiments. This man is really is THAT wonderful. I sent him a letter with MT's birth announcement letting him know that we met an old nurse of his. He said that they are now actually friends on Facebook because of the letter and birth announcement I sent him. They communicate a few times a week via FB.

The same Ulta -Sound Tech that reveal the anatomy of MT was all excited and ready to reveal the anatomy of the Armadillo. The office was so upset that I did not bring MT or a Photograph of Him. We got right down to business, counted the heart ventricles, watched the blood flow, counted/measured organs/body parts .. ... Everything that needed to be there was there! When she got to what I thought was the identifying parts that distinguish between pink and blue .. I shouted "OH YAH, That's Boy parts!" She laughed and said actually that was the umbilical cord ..... But after a few more minutes, The Jewels were Revealed in much more detail, I said "THAT's a Boy! ..She giggled and shuck her head in agreement. MT is going to be a big Brother to his Baby Brother! How exciting!!!!

He hugged me and shuck E's hand a bunch of times and told us how thrilled he was for us. On our way out of the office, he reminded me that he wants a picture of MT (in 3 weeks when I visit him again) and that tonight he was going to send my delivering nurse an email with the exciting news.

What a very fun Day!

The Verdict

From the last post (ignore if you already did) - Enquiring Minds Wanna know what type of baby monitor you would/would not suggest - take time to leave a comment about that.

On Monday at 11:45 am, I will find out if MT gets a brother or a sister. It's a few days before my birthday, But It's definitely a present I will take early.

Tuesday Early Morning, I received a wake up call from MT around 3 am - He was screaming. I went to check on him and he was burning up. With all the de-cluttering, I could not find his thermometer. It was also 3 am and I was delirious. I just gave him some tylenol and took his clothes off and we sat in the living room for a while and he wanted water. Then I tried to lay down with him in our bed. The kid steam rolls. ... Really, He just tosses and turns and flips all around in his sleep. So finally I decided to get up and take him back to bed. He woke up 2 hours later. Rough night for sure. He was not feeling as warm and I know he is teething so I just kept him well medicated, and went through the day. Later on, again he felt extremely warm, I decided I needed to take his temp .. 104 OUCH ..... I gave him more tylenol and called the dr's office ... Of course it was after hours ... It took me calling them again to finally get a call 2 hours later .. . By that time, I already had the temp down to 100 and a sleeping baby. I was no longer panicking did not think urgent care was needed. Today he has had no temp thus far, but very cranky and sleepy. I am kicking myself for not making a Dr's appointment today - But I really do think that the Crank is from stupid molar that refuses to come through ... Not that high temp though .. Not sure what to think about that. He is showing no real sign of sickness. I have a feeling I will be in the Dr's office with him Tomorrow.

Seeing Red

Yesterday morning, I arrived at Animal Kingdom to hang with one of my bloggy bffs, Amanda and her husband. I went to the bathroom ..and there is was. The dreaded Red on the TP. (lots of TMI) I remained calm ..or tried to remain calm and just go about my day. I mean there wasn't much I could do, I was too far to make it back to the dr and I tried to keep telling myself .. Red happens to some ..... I am 13 weeks along ... and it was not alot .. I kept seeing it throughout the day every time I went to the bathroom and at some point there became alot of weird pressure after I peed. I have to sit there to make sure that my bladder would relax and empty. I did call the dr's office and told them I was not close because they wanted me to come in right then ... I instead had to make an appointment for 1:30 today.

I managed to get sleep and went tothe dr office this afternoon with as many calm nerves a possible - but at the Dr office. I almost imploded. This is NOT how i normally handle things but lately I am just soo not myself and unable to communicate my needs/desires ... so I basically got steamrolled at my appointment today. At 1:50 they called me back to sit in the nurses station. Out in the open. Took my bp, had my urine on the counter and announced to whomever walking by and me that there was blood in the urine. Took my temp and asked me my symptoms and then said she would be right back ... Walked away ... came back with a rx for antibiotics and told me they would have to send out my urine and call me next week . And told me to have a nice day ....... That was it. No room, no asking me my weight, no Doppler, no dr even ....... I have never had a bladder infection, UTI or the like so this may very well be the norm ..but now I am fuming .... I can't believe I allowed them to send me on my way w/o ever stepping foot in an exam room .... Or hearing a beating heart ... Maybe irrational but how I am feeling right now. I have a call back in to see if they think it's a UTI, bladder infection or what .... I was so shocked speechless I didn't even ask.

When it rains, It pours

Just being honest - Very honest!

These past few weeks have been less than stellar. Problem is - My attitude or hormone levels, lack of sleep or just a combination of life. I have been angry and frustrated constantly for 3 ish weeks now. I am not sure anymore If I am choosing to be angry or if it's too many raging hormones. But really I have been uncharacteristically not myself. And I am not liking this AT ALL. I get frustrated with myself for being angry/frustrated. And I now how blessed I am and how ungrateful I look/sound/feel. So the cycle starts all over again. BUT I think last night after a humongo venting, yelling, blaming session directed indirectly at my husband at 11:30pm, I think I am over "it". What ever "it" is.

In all fairness and disclosure, It's been raining (like raining monsoon style) for 17 days straight. Some where in the beginning of the 17 days our roof started leaking through our light fixture, chimney and ceiling in the living room. I notified all the correct people, the roofing contractor came out and delivered bad news that nothing could be fixed until it stopped raining and the walls/inside attic area had a chance to dry out. After a few days, I finally convinced some jerkface that he needed to tarp it off in order to keep some of the rain out of my living room while we were waiting for the rain to stop and everything to dry. (so I didn't have to keep dumping buckets and watching my curtains soak up the excess water) I have had to run one of those commercial blowers, an ionizer and a humidifier for weeks now. I had to break down and take some sudefed because all the dust that the blower was blowing around was making it hard to breathe and sleep. We are still in a holding position waiting for the rain to cease.

Despite my sour attitude we had a FANTASTIC Memorial Day Weekend. I even brought my camera along. We had 2 days in the sun on an nearby island and no rain. It was so.much.fun! MT was so good and had a blast.

Today, I am starting a new p/t job. I am hoping that this p/t job will work out and I am able to quit my other job very soon. The other job was the straw that caused the venting, yelling session last night that my husband suffered from. It is very physically draining and just not the right fit. My co-workers either don't show up to work when scheduled or if they do show up, they are late and High and seem to figure out a way to leave early which leaves me working the hardest and longest. Which is where my husband had me realize was where alot of the sour attitude is coming from.

MT has decided to get the rest of his molars this weekend. Monday, I noticed huge welts/bumps on his gum line. Hopefully they will be making an appearance soon (and not disappearing again like they have done a few times) and he gets some relief. Spots where his canines are are also bulging. He could be getting those too.

I had my NT scan yesterday. All measurements looked great. I am measuring 12 weeks. Armadillo's heart rate was in the 160's. The tech tried very hard to get a look at the goods. But the baby was not cooperative at all. She said her guess would be maybe another boy. But she was not sure. I guess we will have to wait a few more weeks. They forgot to do the finger prick so I have to go back sometime this week to do that. In between all the craziness.

A lil Late and trying not to Rush

Seems these days, A lil late is how we roll. Standard Norm for us.

MT is 11 months (11 months, a week and 2 days to be exact). It seems to be a very awkward and challenging phase for us right now. He is not a Infant but Not quite a walking Toddler. Like our very first Tween stage. He is not content laying/sitting playing with toys/other babies. He is in constant motion. He wants to chase and be chased. Run around with the older kids but Can't figure out completely how to stay on his feet. Thus leads to me hunched over assisting him walking all over helping him chase after the world. As much as I do not want to rush life, I will be glad when he figures out how to walk on his own.

He is down to 2 bottles a day and I believe that I could drop them both. They are the AM/PM bottles. He only drinks 2-3 oz out of them. I have managed to get him to drink Milk out of a sippy cup. He has been doing this for about 3 weeks now.

He has also decided that he does not want that 20 min morning nap, anymore. The problem is, I think he still needs it. (some days) He gets cranky/wound up and unable to eat lunch. I am not sure what to do completely. We are just winging it. I have let him skip it a few times and lunch is *disastrous on those days. Ends in tears, His and Mine.

*Food always flies regardless of how tired he is, lately. But it is thrown so much more if he is tired/cranky.

He has decided that he thinks I am a short order cook. He will eat some things some days , and refuse to eat the same items on another day. Which makes feeding him challenging. I never know if what I fix him will be suitable for that day. I know as soon as he starts throwing it. He throws what he will not eat. ... MUCH frustration and lots of bending over to clean my floor. He eats on carpet .. ... A stern "No", Makes him laugh. I also figured out that I have to leave the food on the floor until he is done. Because the "pick up" game is OH SO entertaining.

He made his first boat trip to an offshore island here. I have spent many many summer days growing up going to the island and it was such bliss to get to take him out there. He enjoyed every minute of the boat ride and beach. I was worried because the first time we went to the beach, It was a big fail. Sand was the cause.

I forgot to bring a camera to show how awesome he did wearing his life vest, hat and sunglasses. He was a rockstar trooper. He fell asleep on the drive out and back.

We are in the process in moving to all snap diapers because yesterday during nap time, I went and found his diaper off and thrown out of his crib. If I had been thinking, I would have snapped a picture of his. I was half annoyed but half amused. I ordered 3 fu.zzi bu.nz. Oh the softness. They feel amazing. (are they only supposed to come with one insert) I put them to the ultimate test. Overnight. No leaks what do ever. They have my stamp of approval so far.

I had a perfect moment Monday last week and ran out of time to blog about it. E, MT and I were sitting on our bed and I was cleaning out my purse. I found the Armadillo (baby in the belly's Nickname) Ultra sounds. I handed one to MT and starting explaining that he was going to be a big brother. He started jabbering and holding up the u/s and squealed with glee. I know that he really didn't understand. But every time we would say, "You are going to be a big brother", He would laugh, giggle and scream. He sat there with him until he lost interest and then we moved on.

Speaking of the Armadillo, I have my NT/Triple Screen on the 26th. I have been able to get out of the house more and eat lately. It is good to be on the upswing. I am just hoping things are still going well inside. I am not able to be as careful as I would like to be taking care of MT. But I think Having MT to take care of helps my mind not have time to wander.

Smelling the Ocean

I am undecided still about what to do with my hair. You guys all confirmed my thoughts. "what if the wispy pieces don't go back" or get annoying ... SO I am still going to think on it. I really do think I look more decent with short hair though. See still wavering.

This morning I had to go back to the OB's to check my weight and discuss my situation. I have been able to eat regular food for 2 days now. The zo.fran is helping me feel like a living, breathing human again. I did however lose more weight. 10 lbs in a week since my last visit. She was slightly concerned and reminded me that I need to do my best to eat protein. Being that I think I have this under manageable control now, I am sure I will get back the weight necessary. (and let's not forget I have plenty of weight that I do not think anyone will be able to starve off of me) I am schedule for the NT Scan and another weight/HG check in 2 weeks. I was able to convince the Nurse to try the Doppler this morning. She kept telling me that it was too early, I just wanted her to try. She did and she found the HB within seconds. (I think I am 11.5 weeks - the dr thinks I am 10.5 weeks) whatever .. HB measuring in the 160-170 range. Utter relief to know that I am not feeling well for a living reason!

Blood Pressure was a little elevated but that is because my father was late to pick up MT, I had to call and ask if they could schedule me for a later appointment. Feeding an 11 month old has become one of the most dreaded events lately. It involves lots of flying objects and very few ways to communicate. Followed up by diaper changing as the next. I though we worked through the diaper changing stuff but seems this morning we had to revisit that place ..

I wish I had taken a picture of the coastline I drive up on my way to the dr's because honestly ..It's breathtaking. It's serene and it makes me remember why I live in FL. Here is one I found on the Internet. It's 5+ miles of this to my dr's office. Seeing/smelling the ocean does me good.

testing and tested

I have tried to spruce up the layout again. How's it reading now? Colors easy to read? Overlapping? Suggestions?

A few stories so you don't think we have lost our sense of humor: The other day, at my MIL's, MT managed to shove his figure up my nose so quick and hard that I endured a nose bleed. Standing in the kitchen talking with everyone. I am on blood thinners so I think that attributed to the bleed. But he is So fast these days.

My father sanded a few little sticks that MT has been carrying around and teething on for months now. (I know .. safe huh, The life with a boy) He loves these sticks. He carries them around like prized possessions. Today he wanted to take a nap with it. I just could not let him. I mean. I let him chew on it all over the house, but putting him in the bed with a stick (that has been sanded and has very soft round edges) just felt wrong.

Thank you for all leaving suggestions about cloth diapers. I need to get on that and figure out what to do. If you are interested, Kelly's Closet, is having a give-away of a sample pack of diapers. I am trying to win them, You can too. Read here.

Our Association has decided to close the pool in APRIL AND MAY (and maybe June) to redecorate and remodel...... I am so beyond annoyed. THIS IS FLORIDA! Why couldn't you use half a brain and do this in UHm let's say Dec-Feb?? ... Obviously the Migrating Old Folks are in charge ....

The meds have made me feel like a new woman. Just in 12 hours. I ate a cracker for breakfast and have managed to keep it down along with a few ice chips. Good news right!?! Then, Why am I panicking about a heartbeat. I tried to beg/plead with the dr's office yesterday to listen with the Doppler (knowing that it could still be early) They laughed and told me not to stress out. Boy did I REALLY just want to hear that there was a reason for the Puke-athon and that The reason was still living. So to say that the Zen has left the building is an understatement. E reassures me that since Zen has left the building the Lil Bean is growing and thriving just fine. I am hoping so. When we first found out about the news, I was happy to just go with the flow and relish in the non medicated pregnancy. Ya know, be treated and feel like a normal pregnant woman .. Now, I am trying not to panic.

I hate to mention this but

Updated: Back from the Dr. I have lost 6 lbs since the last appointment. She was actually able to see/experience the sickness while I was at her office. She has decided to go ahead and diagnose me with having
a case of H.ypereme.sis Grav.idaru.m for insurance purposes. She says she hopes it is just a mild case and will eventually stop. She gave me two rx's for ph.energan and zof.ran. Hoping they do the trick. Thanks for the wonderful tips and thoughts ...Hope to be back to our regular scheduled events very soon

In the name of honesty. I.AM.Sick. Very Very Sick. Morning Sickness has taken over. It lasts all day and all night. It has been like this for 3-4 days now and I am no longer functioning. E finally couldn't watch me like this anymore so he called the dr this morning. I have an appointment at 1:50pm. I just hope that everything is ok. On top of the all day sick-a-thon, My sinus are pushing on my teeth so bad that I have teeth aches. So between the not wanting to eat because I do not want to see it again, I do not want to eat becuase it hurts my teeth ..... If you are the praying type. I am asking for a lil good thoughts. I am so very worried.

*I deleted the blog coding until I can figure out what to do. Right now, I have a different coding to try and fix. I am just not able to think clearly.