11 Weeks

It's Tuesday. That time again. I have made it to 11 weeks.


24% of your pregnancy has passed, there is 76% left to go.

I really am just in awe. I am starting to get really uncomfortable in my clothes, although I have lost 3 more lbs. As my friend says "the furniture is moving around" and I feel it. I have lost a total of 15 lbs since I got a BFP, I think the Dr will be happy with me. ( as someone who knows that I am overweight). That makes a total weight loss of 62 lbs since February. Praise be to Me.tfor.mi.n (and maybe a lil more discipline/determination). Not that I have ever been 11 weeks pregnant before, but it seems that I am carrying this baby pretty high - about 2-3 inches above my belly button. That is where the hardness is. Although my lower abdomen got really heavy about a week ago. (i assume the placenta ?)




From what 2 expect dot com i received this: "Your lower abdomen is probably just starting to protrude a bit now (though you likely still look less like you're pregnant and more like you've been overdoing the doughnuts). But even if it's still flat as a board (all women start to show at different times — and as you'll find out, all show differently), you're probably finding your jeans aren't buttoning without a struggle. You can blame the hormone progesterone for that tight squeeze (actually, when you're pregnant you can blame the hormone progesterone for just about everything). Though progesterone does a bang-up job in maintaining your healthy pregnancy, some of the less than flattering by-products of all the good it does are bloating… and burping… and passing gas. That's because progesterone relaxes smooth muscle tissue in your body — including the gastrointestinal tract — slowing down digestion to allow more time for the nutrients from food to be absorbed into the bloodstream and passed to your baby. But what's good for baby isn't always good for mom. The uncomfortable fullness you feel in your abdomen, especially after eating, will (sorry) only get worse for some women. As your uterus grows, it'll crowd the stomach and intestines, putting more pressure on the digestive tract, and causing you to feel even more bloated. But here's some consolation: your baby won't feel your pain. In fact, your baby is oblivious to all your intestinal distress, and may even be soothed by the gurgling of your gastric symphony."




Before I received this, I was blaming my pre-natals, now I am reconsidering the blame. So if anyone of you are experiencing this on Progesterone supplements - blame them evil thangs






I have my NT scan Friday, and I can not wait for another opportunity to see my baby and hear the heart beat. I would be completely lying if I said I was cool as a cucumber. I am not a nervous wreck, but I am pretty anxious. I seem to get that way before each scan/appointment. I am still on progesterone and I am going to ask if I still need it. I do not mind taking anything that they think is necessary, but I am definitely paying for a good few college years in all of these continued meds. My insurance will only give me 12 shots of love.nox at a time... PITA... It's $30 every 12 days - just kinda of feels like a scam. So i am making the pharmacy and insurance pretty deep pockets If I have to keep this up to week 30...




The latest development is my sweet tooth. I just do not know how to deal with this. I did the Can.di.da Di.et for so long, then I stopped that but with P.CO.S and my insulin resistance, I was extremely cautious about what I ate. Up until recently the smell of sugar made me want to vomit, now I want Cupcakes, cookies, sugary drinks etc. And I just can not bring myself to indulge. I feel way too guilty. Do not get me wrong, I have one (or 2) a few days a week. But I am trying to explain to my body that this is NOT an ok craving.




I wish I could mail all of you cupcakes, because they were so doggone good.


If you cold, wish me and mini va.nn well for our appointment Friday the 14th. (it is also my grandmother's 79th birthday)




On a side note: My friend Sara is a new blogger but just received a BFN from her first IUI. Stop by and lend her a hand if you have the time.

to pee or not to pee that is the question ...

OK Its CD40 - MOST of my periods have been 36-40 days ever since Jan 07. My boobs have been "sore" and get sore - er at night .. i am holding out. I have a baby shower on saturday that I have had to plan (with emotional difficults at times) for my friend .. I am hoping that by Sunday I will be ready to POAS.
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I typed the above message at o'dark thirty this morning and then had to walk away from my computer. I am back to posting and it is no longer CD40 ..Yep, you guessed it ... It is CD1 .. I totally jinxed myself .. I had happy thoughts of POAS and seeing bright postive plus signs or flashing "pregnant" displays ! I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad. Of course I am. BUT if my boobs were sore, it should mean that my hormone lvls changed and I can assume I ovulated. Anyone knows that a person with PCOS has difficulty ovulating on their own. I feel like the diet, exercise (ok just alil exercise), and metformin have actually made a difference in my body. My cycles have been long but consistantly long .... I feel like this is positive steps in the right direction. OK Clo.mid .. bring it ON !!! I embrace the Crazy and hotflash raging beotch you made me last time ! This cycle is going to be good and hopefully i will just be a hotflash'n beotch and leave off the side of crazy!! Here's a good luck Charm (or a map for the swimmers) for all of us starting a new cycle of Meds.

Hodge Podge

It's CD 31 ............................................... (long pause)
**edit its cd 24 ( i dunno where my head is ..obviously too frustrated to count, some how i got confused ..easily done in this mood)**
As you see from my previous posts, they are all random, inconsistent, detouring thoughts as I surf through the 2WW. I was aiming for distraction .....I could sit here and write about how I am not getting my hopes up and we are being cautiously pessimistic/optomistic about this DIY cycle, not expecting much ..blah blah blah ... but that's FAR from the truth. I have ALOT of extra emotional ties to this particular cycle. It's a full 3 months on met., I have now lost almost 31 lbs, My eatting habits are extraordinary (they only had room to go up - couldn't get any worse) , I feel much better, I am sleeping 90% of all nights, I haven't wanted to run over any pregnant/fertile women (that I can remember), etc I could probably think of more IF I wasn't so annoyed with myself. I am annoyed that I put too much thought/anticipation/hope into "oh i think my boobs are more tender", "am i going to the bathroom more? or drinking more water?" " I have a headache... huuum wonder if thats a pregnancy headache, should i run out and get some tyle.nol instead of taking ad.vi?"

I guess here is where my rationalization lies: You know that saying from dr's/internet/friends/advice/or whereever else I heard it, "Your body takes 3 months to adjust to meds and any significate changes that alter your bodies intake." ............ welp my 3 months are up and NOW I WANT RESULTS !!! (and by those results, i want my positive BFP and a healthy 9 months and I want it NOW) Why can't I take all the postive changes as results ..... why does a BFP have to be the only result I think is a WIN ....


You see, I am one of THOSE this month ... and THAT is why I am mad at myself. Rationalization is all out the window today .. I need to get a grip, I haven't even gotten a BFN or CD1 to be THIS irrational

In my defense, Yesterday I had an encounter with a childhood friend that I haven't seen in yrs. She was in that store represented by a Bullseye and was happily baby registering. I asked how far along she was ... she had just got her postive pee stick a week ago ..................................... I don't have anything nice to say right now

Endings ..... with Possiblities

Today is it ..... Gilmore Girls will be O.V.E.R. I have been an avid watcher(even through the rough seasons of bad writing). My My.space page has been an ode to them from time to time. (along with its unique address)
It feels as if I should have a going away party for my family members. I understand that they are just fictional characters, but I really got sucked in long ago. My mother used to have to record them and Dawson Creek and send me the VCR tapes because when I went away to school, the town did not get the W.B at that time. (sad huh, I went to a big place for school - it wasn't back woods - i swear) I use TV to relax. I get way too involved into the shows I watch and I am very loyal. I will watch the show even when its just plain BAD .. then I will make fun of myself after I watch. A limited # of TV Shows/Movies (and sometimes music) just have this trance effect on me. They allow me to just stop thinking for a while and relax- which is VERY hard for me to do otherwise. Gilmore Girls (for the most part) allowed me to do that .. and it will be missed - But If I can't find any other shows that have this effect on me, I do have all seasons on dvd except this last one ;)

On the TTC front - Its like CD4 and we have decided not to do cl.omid yet. We are going to wait one more month. That will be 3 full months on met.formin, and my no caffeine/sugars/yeast diet. I feel much better. I have lost 25 lbs. (going on vacation, i think, made me just maintain my weight and not lose any). My cycle this month although was a little more emotionally painful due to its bad timing, but physically has been quite delightful. YES i said Delightful ... So far no need to run home and change clothes from an unlikely mishap ( like I have had to do in the past). I have not been incredibly moody, or crampy. What I am saying, * i guess* is that AF has not been an unruly visitor thus far ..... and I hope that she stays fairly decent the next couple of days and then I hope she delights in the FL sunlight and schemes with my ovaries and they decide to produce me a nice plump follicle ... wouldn't that just be grand ...

*i gave a link to my my.space page -if you didn't figure that out. It has some vacation pictures - until I can figure out how to post some here