wholatta changes going on

This past week We have been having some not-so-typical scenarios with MT. In fact last night, i actually said out loud "Who is this child and what have they done with my baby". ..

Over the past week, My husband and I have took turns watching him since I returned to work p/t. On my first day off last week, MT pretty much flat out refused to sleep for naps. I thought maybe he was actually getting sick. Not that I was wishing sickness on him, but I received a memo from the urologists office that stated I could not give MT, any immunizations, Motrin, Tylenol, or any herbal medications for 2 weeks prior to his surgery and If he was to get sick, we would have to reschedule .. So i figured Murphy's law was going to play into effect here.

So I kept checking his temp throughout that day, but he never had a fever. So I figured, it was just going to be "that kind of day". Well, the next day .. I received the same reactions of meltdowns when placing him down for naps ... He would get a little mad, grunt, start working up the cries then would hit def-con level around 10 minutes of attempting a nap.

I figured it must be just another one of those days. Well this pattern has now continued for a week and a day. (this is how long I have been back to work) So I figure now thre is a reason for this .... I am just unable to pinpoint exactly why.

Now def-con level is reached ~2 minutes of attempting to give him a nap and is now spilling over into bedtime. So FUN TIMES at the Fertilized household.

I have put alot of brain power in trying to figure out how to "fix" the problem. Today, I told my husband, to try and offer him more food, Maybe he is hungry. We will see if that helps anything.

Before all of this, We had a really good established bedtime pattern. So last night, we attempted the bedtime gear up ... bathed, pj's, some bfing, diaper check and then I place him down, awake but calm .... put the blanket over his head ..... a few minutes later, he enters dream world ...

Last night was our absolute worst night thus far in 6 months. We did everything like normal. He was fine at first .. then all hell broke loose ... he started to gnash, wraith and fuss .. So I stopped bf-ing him and was trying to figure out what was wrong.... I look back now and think he almost fell asleep and was trying to keep himself awake. He started rooting for more bf-ing so I held him and got him latched back on .... next thing I remember was he bit the crap out of me so freaking hard that I yelped, screamed, pushed him towards my chest and flicked him in the face all at the same time .... He Laughed ... I was DONE ..I looked down and there was blood all over his face, his pj's, my tanktop etc... I was beyond pissed off and in pain .. E took him and placed him in his bed. MT screamed and screamed and screamed some more ... I felt horrible, guilty, confused, pissed, sad, desperate, etc.

E said that he needed to lay there and cry for a good few minutes. I was in pain and cleaning myself up that I actually found myself agreeing to let my child lay there and cry for a while. After standing near the door watching/listening to him for a while, I went in there and rubbed his stomach and face trying to get him to calm down. He screamed harder and louder. I flipped him over on his tummy and tried patting his little bottom .. he still continued to scream and scream ... I just finally had enough. I picked him up, tried swaddling him and shushing. It worked for a while, then he lost it all over again ..... After about a hour of this, I offered him a 2oz bottle, he drank 1 oz and conked out ....

I am not sure if this is the new norm, a phase, an effect of my going back to work part time, teething, or an unknown variable that we do not even know about yet. What I do know is that what ever this is .. It is not in the least bit enjoyable ... We will pull through, We will survive. We will. But Man o' man, what a challenge.

I am looking forward to being off work for a week. I am not looking forward that in that time off I have to take MT to have surgery Monday.

a white flag?

i re-read my last post and I wanted to clarify that just because some times the eyes instantly shut, this does not mean that the cries or tears do ;) It just can't be that simple ..... I wish. But I do feel that as time goes on, The naps come easier and the days get more fluid. ... Some days.

I witnessed my cute lil baby totally play into my husband yesterday. I was off to the grocery store and We were having a rough morning of screaming and tears for no reason we were able to figure out. I called E to let him know that I was on my way home and could still hear a screaming child in the background (i left 55 mins ago)... E said that MT still did not want to be put down at all. So E was playing with him while holding him on the floor. I was dragging the groceries in and E wanted to jump in the shower. I told E to just put him in the exersaucer, I was almost done, I would grab him as soon as I had all the cold things put away. MT screamed as if E had slammed his hands in a car door ... Until E walked away from him ...... As soon as E was out of his sight line, He stopped crying and started playing with the toys on the saucer. THIS IS HUGE For us .. MT has NEVER actually stopped crying before on his own with some one having to do something about it. To say that he comes complete with my stubbornness would be an understatement. I felt so giddy with glee that he actually stopped crying on his own ..... Granted it was the first time I actually remember him stopping on his own w/o getting what he wanted but I am proud none the less. I hope that means that we will get a few more of these situations where he is able to do this in the future. Normally if he gets to crying and being upset, He will outlast the energizer bunny unless we cave .... but yesterday, he retreated .. and I feel more confident that there is room to learn and adjust.

5.5

5 and 1/2 months has come and gone. MT is thriving. He is growing. He is unbelievable wonderful, healthy and happy. We have tried to add veggies to his daily food intake. So far, so good. We were doing sweet potatoes and now we have added Green Beans to the mix. He seems to love green beans more than the sweet potato, or he is happy for a new taste. (to those who have a food processor, I would like one for Christmas but I want one that is big enough but not huge and take up alot of space, any suggestions? I am still just making our own foods) I thought about the gadget that is all inclusive but decided against it because of it's limitations. I assume I will only have to puree the food for about 3 more months or less ..So i would like to have something that is not limited for myself..I think .... mini Cuisinart..do they work ..or there is an 11 cup one ...Help ... input please)

I am still not coordinated enough to leave the house before noon most days, but it can be done if need be and it is getting better. I require a shower before I can leave the house .. It's a understood rule of mine. I am still just trying to learn to get up and shower before MT wakes up. (wish I could take a shower at night but My hair just needs a shower in the morning and I just like my sleep alittle too much.)

Having MT has brought to the surface some (most) areas of my character/personality that are selfish .... and I am having to work through them. (see above about shower/sleep) This is another reason E and I sometimes have some fightin' words, ughmm I mean differences.

Friday night, E and I had a huge disagreement. Of course, It was over chores, duties, housework nonsense. Everyone seems to fight over this issue at least once in their lifetime. (be it with a roommate, parent, spouse, sign. other, child, etc.)

I mentioned (uhmmm in a yelling voice - just being honest) to E that I needed him to step it up a bit. Remember, I told you he was sick and it felt like an eternity that he was sick for.... Well, It was grating on my nerves. Yes .. You think, Have a lil compassion for the guy, Seriously ... and I should have. I had some, but it was running low and filling up with my selfishness. ..... I was tired, I was PMSing, I was doing double duty w/ providing care for both him and MT. I just got back from being gone a week with MT by myself. MT (well we all were) trying to adjust from vacation. MT had been fussy like something fierce this week. Basically, MT was replaced with the screaming banshee again ...( i know now it was because of teething) He now has another tooth bud popping up. I am now starting to recognize his signs for teething. The tooth is right next to the one that just popped up a few weeks ago. He was up/awake ... and fussy .... and drooling ..... and just plain miserable. Nothing consoled him, except holding him and loving on him. (sometimes bfing) Even that had it's moments. This is the first week (since he started sleeping through the night) that we have been unable to get him in the bed by no later than 8:30pm. Bed time for him this week has been around 11pm. and only then because of exhaustion from crying or being miserable, he finally just wore himself out .... So teething for us is ROUGH .... I know that not everyone has such a hard time with this teething thing, but MT sure seems to just absolutely not tolerate it at all.

Combine all of this and I have been squeezed and pressed until the selfishness just rises to the surface and leaks out all over .... and usually lands right smack dab in the middle of my husband's lap .... And once again .... this is what he dealt with Friday night. He is so gracious too .. He does not at all get hot about it. He just lets me finish my rant/vent session. He calmly deals with the situation, diffuses the bomb, per say .. and then just loves on me some.... It's really the opposite of what I would do if some lunatic was yelling and fighting with me .... but none the less, He just takes one for the team ... and I love him so much through his actions and reactions. It makes it extremely hard to be/stay mad at him. He truly doesn't have a mean spirited bone in his body .... He knows he needs to offer to help out more. He knows that he was requiring alittle too much of my sympathy and time. He and I know he is sorry. He tries very hard.... and I need to give him credit for that. This has been the first time that he has been sick since MT was born. I consider this a milestone.... We made it through. ... Yes there was yelling and fighting, but we are all still here and accounted for ... and Loved

What do we have here

My precious little pumpkin has learned a brand new trick (and it's not a cute one) ... He has learned to Scream his little lungs out during car rides. Yes, the entire car ride. No matter where you are going or how long it takes to get there. This started a week ago. Friday, on my way to our halloween group party, he screamed the whole way there. I thought it was because his morning nap was cut short. We had a great time at the party. We was in a happy mood and things we chill. We left alittle early so we could pick up E and drive to my sister's (5.5 hours away). I put the lil stink-pot in the stroller and headed towards the elevator ..... at this moment again, my sweet precious lil boy was replaced with a screaming banshee. I was in public .. and a public hospital on the L&D floor. I HAD to do something .. So I picked him up, and put the diaper bag in the stroller and wheeled it to the car He stopped as soon as I picked him up (ahh he just wanted me, Isn't that sweet) ... I got to the car, Changed his diaper. (thinking it was the root of the problem) .... he screamed the whole process. Picked him up, He stopped crying .... I felt loved but really?..... Tried putting him in the car seat again, the screaming banshee returned .. In a parking garage (oh the echo .not so sweet) ..... I seriously thought he was just overstimulated and tired, so I just buckled him in and drove ..25 mins later there was STILL a screaming banshee in my back seat ..I was trying to get home as fast as humanly possibly. I got home, LUCKILY E was home ... I handed MT off as i cried and explained I thought he was just tired ...

Saturday and Sunday were different days for us because someone was in the back seat with him while we were at my sisters.

Monday -Thurs he has done the same exact thing ... scream in the car seat all the way to our destination ..... There is a mirror there so I can see him and he can see himself. It has been there since we installed the car seat. He used to talk to himself in the mirror ... I can no longer use the overstimulated and tired excuse because it has be realized that if One touches him, He stops crying...... like Immediately... .... Problem: I cannot safely drive and touch him at the same time. I cannot pull a britney and drive with him in my lap ... He needs to be safe and I need to be safe ... I am losing my mind over this ..... any help, tricks, ideas, earplugs, suggestions, etc.. ANYTHING ..PLEASE help, I am desperate ....

2 days into cereal - things are going ok. Our schedule seems to be a tad off now. I am not sure what to blame.... He usually goes to bed at 8 - both days now it's more like 9:30. I may have to try doing the cereal earlier. I have been doing it at 10am. It does make that next nap VERY long .. Which is why it's 9:00 and he is not tired yet. Or maybe I just let it be ... not sure what I feel about this yet