Food Wa.rs

I may (or may not) have shared that MT (my almost 3 yr old , WHOA) is always on the thin side. (he can/does wear 12 mon/18 mon bathing suits/shorts and they fall off) He can wear the small sizes as long as the length is longer. This is all because he is absolutely NEVER hungry. Well, He never admits to being hungry. The Dr's office is constantly on me when we go in. He weighs 22-27 lbs. He fluctuates. Basically, He is the same weight as he was at his 12 month well baby check. They have suggested many different ways to bulk him up, But all include eating food, and he is simply not interested. He will go DAYS, 4 to be exact, with out mentioning hungry or eating, if I allow it. What this means is, Each meal is an epic battle. And usually an Epic Fail. And Extremely Frustrated Mommie/Toddler and a 17 month old that is learning unbecoming mealtime behavior.

Honestly, This has been going on since Birth. It took 45/50 mins to get a 4 oz bottle in him. He refused to breastfeed (latch) until he was 8ish weeks. We went to see LC's, Dr's, etc. Nothing seemed to be physically wrong. It was a huge struggle. We had a big transition to solids. But Finger foods were a huge success. Then they became the norm. I do still rely on finger foods.

The thing w/ finger foods, None of them are a constant. There is not One "Go To" meal. He could love one thing one meal and absolutely refuse to eat it the next meal/day. OR He may eat the Same thing for all 3 meals. There is no rhyme or reason. Like I stated, For me, It feels like an Epic Battle every meal.

He is old enough now that I do ask for his input when it comes to meals. I usually let him pick something that we eat. But even that can be a struggle because usually his answer is "no thanks, I fine" when I ask him to chose between X and Y. I have also tried weeks of not allowing him choose and just give him something to eat. Not allowing him to help choose does result in more of a battle.

Another tactic is, he requests to be fed. He never wanted to be fed before. (and G does not want to be fed - he feeds himself, mostly - so it is not to be like his lil bro) I attempt to feed him but I have to make sure I keep the bites at the size he wants or he will refuse to eat that bite. There is an imaginary standard of size in his head and I have to comply to this. Mind blowing .... Beyond frustrating

Also, When he announces he is done, He is Done! If it's bite 1 or bite 20 ..and He declares he is Done and if you request/get stern and make him eat another bite, All food that you got in him will be vomited all over you, him and the table. Trust me on this one. He will gag, gag and gag until he throws every last bit of this up. Maddening

I usually end up preparing 1 meal - then having to go find something else in replace of the meal he will not eat. Even if he agrees to eat a meal, he can and will change his mind before you get him to sit and eat it. I had to stop using time outs or going to bed w/o eating because, That IS what he would rather do.

All of this goes on at least 2 times a day. It STILL takes about 30-45 mins to get him to eat a very small amount of food. I am completely anxious (strung out) over all things food at our house. I do worry myself over this. Because Food affects his moods. If he has gone far too long to eat, HE is a BEAR. An Angry bear. and getting him to eat when he is in this state is like poking the angry bear .. See the Vicious Cycle?! Anxiety! Tears, "Issues".. He know he has control issues. I have NO doubt where he got those Control Issues from. Every time I look in the mirror, I am haunted by those control issues.

Most assvice I receive is to just back off and not stress over it. Let him go days w/o eating. But honestly, his attitude and tantrums are so much more fierce w/o food that either way I am damned. It does seem to get worse/better but I can not find a variable to either.

MT is delicate*. You have to handle him w care. And very gently. And sometime, I do not have the time, energy, creativity, and patience it takes hour after hour to stifle the frustrations. But, after the dust settles, My brain reminds myself of the mother I said I would be before I had children. She would have been a MUCH better mother in these situations. But she is not here, These children get Me as the mom. And I am very hard on myself ( MT inherited this trait) Which is another reason after all is said and done, I do understand him, It doesn't make it less frustrating - But I am really trying to find solutions to make everyone as happy and healthy as possible

*on another post I need to chart the many similarities of MT's conscious and Mine. He inherited quiet a few of my personality traits and I have to be so careful with the way we embrace them - because Mine were not always embraced

** the dr's have suggested food therapy and I am not sure I am interested in this,YET. Going to more dr appoints, paying co-pays, coordinating schedules and all that create more problems - So I am not sure I am interested in this avenue yet.