CD 1 (with updates at the bottom)

Full on CD1, complete with cramps, irritating people and multiple trips to the bathroom. AF is here and making her "presents" known about every 20 mins. A required trip to the bathroom is much needed to keep from any incidents. (anyone knowledgeable about clotting, baby aspirin, endo.metriosis, implanting disorder?) I haven't been diagnosised with endome.triosis but the more cycles I do not get a BFP, the more I can't help myself to ask more questions. Does Heavy cramping, nasty clotting/expelled weird tissue, MTHFR auto-immune, spontaneous aborter, frequent tampon changes = possible endo? Or is it possible that Clo.mid can make me experience all of the above. It doesn't happen every period, just seems to happen at least every other period - but didn't happen at all from Jan - Jun when I was on a "break" from Dr's and Clo.mid. (neither did Ovulation either though)

OK enough with the gross talk - sorry, thanks for hangin' in. OK So you are aware it's CD1. I made that lovely "got my period, need more cl.omid" call to my Dr's office today. The nurse called me back at 2:30pm, and I asked her AGAIN about doing my blood test on CD3 and CD21. *my gyn was doing those, and this Dr only does the CD21 and I am confused on why not more monitoring also why shouldn't I be doing 7dpo blooddraws and not just CD21 blood draws? My though process - I have PC.OS, I do not have a 28 days cycle (insert hysterical laugh here), and those CD21 tests are assuming that I do have a 28 day cycle and CD21 would be 7dpo - so why the hell am I doing a test based on the assumption of a "normal woman" at a RE office???? I feel like we are missing a piece of the puzzle. I truly understand that the normals out there are only given a 20% of pregnancy each month - and the nurse told me that because I ovulated last month, I only had a 20% chance also - and because I ovulated last month, I am being placed in the "normal" category. I have to admit, I'd liked nothing more to be NORMAL, but I assure you I AM NOT a normal cycling woman. She also informed me that my "clomi.d injectible" (smart nurse huh) would screw up my OPK results. I insisted that cl.omid was not an injectible and that clo.mid was suggested to be used in conjuction with OPK's and should not alter my results in any way, shape or form. I am dealing with Rock Scientists it seems. She also informed me that I was asking complicated questions and she suggested I have a Dr consult since I have so many difficult questions and I want to make exceptions to their procedures. SOOOOOOOOOOO, with that said, I have an appointment tomorrow at 8:45 am. I dunno if this is the right place for me, We will find out tomorrow. I don't know what else to do. I am not new at this, but I have not experienced any other forms of fertility treatments except clomid. I just need to ask a few questions and hopefully have him ease my mind. I am confused on why my gyn monitored me more on clo.mid than him. Why do I feel like some piece of the puzzle is going unnoticed? If I have doubts, why can't the nurse put me at ease, even if it is for 10 minutes?? Why do I feel like I know way more about reproductive medicine than this hussy of a nurse? I am going to run down my list of questions and any thoughts on them would be MUCH appreciated:

1. Why am I doing CD21 day test and not a 7dpo test specific to my cycle?
2. Would we be able to tell something more at a 7dpo blood draw that we would not be able to detect at the random cd21 blood draw?
3. Why did the nurse say that progesterone is rarely prescribed?
4. Why did your nurse tell me that clom.id would alter my opk results?
5. Do you think U/S for monitoring and measuring my follicles would benefit or increase my chances of getting pregnant while on clomid?
6. Is it possible to ovulate and release an egg that is not mature enough for fertilization/implanting?
7. Do you think it is possible to learn something from U/S monitoring my ovaries on c.lomid?

I am tired of the tried and tried and tried method of wait and see. I am ready to partake in the medium sized guns ( IUI"s if that is necessary). I have done the wait and see game for 4+ years and it didn't kill me but it has surely has damaged me. I just want to maximize my cycles as much as possible - PLEASE leave me your thoughts/opinions/history - since I finally ovulated last month, do you think I should stick it out a few more months and suck it up and wait and see then monitor or Do you think we could learn something from a month of monitoring. I will have to pay out of pocket for all the U/S, injectibles and such but I am willing to do this if it means helpful information and knowledge to come for later cycles.

*** Update*** Kudos to my sleep deprived Husband who worked all night and showed up at the dr. office in time for the visit!!! The Dr. agrees that Clom.id at 150mg a day 5-9 isn’t cutting it. I am barely getting by and he totally agrees that I should be alarmed by my low progesterone levels. He agrees that my # should be in the 20+ range on that much clomi.d., but it isn’t. It was 7. He agrees that I am just spinning my wheels and wasting a lot of time/energy on the fat chance that my body gets its act together and does some kind of fierce extreme improvement in clo.mid …. I could not agree more!!!! So we are moving on to injectibles (brave.lle) with IUI as an option. I called the pharmacy that they recommend. It’s relatively affordable. I have placed a phone call into the Dr’s insurance coordinator because, our crappy insurance will not cover anything other that a diagnosis. I want to be aware of all the costs and see if we can start this month – or have to wait til next or whenever we have the money. We are in the process of moving and have spent a lot of unforeseen funds in the process. So, seems like I am back to square one .. I have another post coming – just need to stomach all of this first.

CD almost 1

My period has finally started to arrive. Glad she didn't feel the need to be timely, I'd hate to rush her along. So, Yeah yeah, My dr office can say "i told you so". (but they better not ;)) It's weird brown, spotty, thick, and sludgey like (this isn't the first time - doesn't happen every time either). I assume that is not good and probably why I can not ever get pregnant, but the Dr's are never alarmed by this description. I should have known that my period was on it's way today. I chewed out some poor sales guy at pen.ney's today. We went to see a bed I found on their website. Just a FYI - you may already know this , maybe I'm the only one on the planet that didn't know- The stuff on their website may not in the stores, they are considered two separate stores ...WTF ???? It's all Freakin' the same name ... but if I want the bed I saw for $149, I will have to order it without seeing it through the catalogue orderer and pay $200 for shipping for 7-10 business days. And If I do not like the merchandise, I will only be refunded $149 + tax ............. Anyone else find that disturbing?? Oh I also should add that I was not allowed to receive the item at the store, it must be shipping directly to my house, which means since I work 1 hour away from my house, and I work during shipping hours, I would have to make arrangements to expect a delivery between 12-6. I SERIOUSLY HATE this store right now ... DOn't worry, I called and filed an official Complaint ... Yeah telltale signs of AF and I clearly missed them ... Did I mention, I really like this picture of the bed frame ... Gosh. What a Hassle.
On a more positive note: I am going to a mind/body class tomorrow with an ex co-worker/still friend. The class is for women who have experienced or experiencing IF. I am looking forward to this. It should be very fun and educational. Maybe I won't be so timid and shy - which is NOT the person I am. Get me in a crowd of women and I become this weird recluse hermit crab that wants to crawl in my dark hole and rock back and forth. It's very bizarre watching/experiencing myself doing this. It's insecurity to the nth degree. (just a lil side effect of IF for me)
I guess I am going to call my Dr's office tomorrow and set up the CD3 bloodwork and get my Cl.omid Rx filled and go buy more OPK's. Gear up for all the festivities. Oh did i mention, in my spare time, we are also moving literally 60-80 yrds from my front door now?!?!? What was I thinking?? It is a newer more spacious abode and I cannot wait to be full service living over on the other side. It's a 3 bedroom 2 bath and we are crammed in a 1 bedroom 1 bath now. My father came to the new place today and helped reinforce the closet shelves - they were pathetic. After 3 trips to that store with the orange/white sign that makes a killing on home remodeling, We managed to still not get everything we needed - so more reinforcing to do at a later date relatively soon. Hopefully, I will have all the old apartment pack up and ready to unpack the new apartment this weeknd. Oh did I also mention that my husband and I are on completely opposite schedules as of today also?? Yep thats right I go to work at 7 am get home around 7 pm, he will be at work at 7 pm returning home at 8 am ... Think baby makin is going to be a challenge or what?!?! We will get every other weekend together - think my ovaries will cooperate that well? AH the wonders of that thing called life.